Watch Me (10 page)

“I am sorry.”

She hung her head. “I don’t remember her. I have this…impression of what her laugh was like. I don’t even know if it’s accurate.”

He squeezed her against his side as they approached the counter. “So your father raised you?”

“Along with my brothers. They are all athletes.”

“Which is why you are so driven to win.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Second place is nothing more than first loser. It’s the family motto.”

“Ah, this explains your drive to win.” He turned to the teenager behind the counter. “A scoop of chocolate peanut butter and…raspberry amaretto. Shanna?”

“None for me. I have to fit into my costume—”

“She will have the same.”

“I will not!”

“Then pick your favorite flavors.”

“You’re going to force me to eat ice cream?”

“I am going to help you take a moment away from ambition and enjoy life.”

When was the last time she’d done that? Shanna thought back through the weeks, which became months…and quickly turned into years. The realization stunned her.

She hesitated, then caved in. It was ice cream, not a commitment. Tomorrow, she had a grueling practice scheduled. She’d work the calories off.

“Chocolate chip cookie dough and French vanilla.”

Alejandro paid as other teenagers behind the counter assembled their cones. In moments, they were licking on ice cream as the sun dropped

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closer to the horizon, with the California breeze stirring all around them. After the first taste, Shanna moaned. “This is amazing.”

He smiled. “I discovered this place a few years ago. It’s part of my weekly ritual.”

“Where do you put it?” She eyed his hard body, absolutely no stranger to his rippled abs.

“I make up for it with plenty of cardio and carrots the rest of the week. But life is meant to be lived, no?”

Had she ever really thought about it in that context? “I suppose so.”

“You have been a very single-minded woman for many years. Dance has been your focus, your ambition.”

“And my passion.”

“No one watching you dance would deny that. You are very talented. You know this, right?”

She supposed. Yes, she could dance. When she watched footage of competition, she knew she held her own in a room full of talented dancers. For the past few years, she even believed she began to shine a bit brighter than them, because she practiced harder and wanted it more.

“I’m pleased with my performances.”

“This ambition, does it make you happy?”

Happy?
An odd question. She didn’t enjoy being frustrated by the champion status she had not achieved yet. But she
would
be a champion. Once the trophy was in her hands, life would be very sweet, and the sacrifices she’d made along the way would have been worth it. All she had to do was get dangerously close to the most tempting man she’d ever met in order to catch her blackmailer. Still, his question unsettled her. She’d never thought of her life in a happy/unhappy context. It just was. Of course, questioning her life was too easy to do when she had a man like Alejandro in front of her,

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reminding her of everything she’d been missing.

“Why shouldn’t it?” she asked.

“The way that ice cream cone is dripping and the fact I’ve rarely seen you smile, I suspect you have spent so much time dancing, you are out of practice when it comes to living.”

Dancing was life for her. So what if she didn’t eat a lot of ice cream?

“What are you, Dr. Phil?”

“Just a man who would like to see you happy.” He brushed tender fingertips across her cheek. “What is the worst thing that could happen if you do not win Saturday night? Or ever?”

Immediately, she wanted to reject the thought. But it was a fair question, one she’d asked herself during long nights when aching muscles, nagging injuries and loneliness had kept her awake.

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I can’t let that happen. Failure is not an option.”

“You cannot control what will happen.”

Yeah, that’s what worried her.

“So what happens if you never win?”

She hated to even think the answer. But to speak it seemed unbearably personal, and yet Alejandro had poured out a part of his soul to her. He had not mocked her when she’d spoken of her mother, or the rest of the family, or the origins of her ambitions. She had no reason to hide from him…except that he kept slipping behind her emotional barriers and it scared the hell out of her.

Why couldn’t she put distance between them? Why did she even care about his feelings? Normally, she had no problem with pushing people away, but Alejandro was…different.

“I would feel like a failure,” she whispered.

“You would consider yourself a failure, even after everything you have achieved?”

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“Probably. I know my family would think I’m a failure. I have one brother who has been the top decathlete in the world. One has played in the Super Bowl. My father has two gold medals. I can’t compete.”

“Who asked you to?”

“You’d have to understand my family. For years, my brothers have endlessly tormented me.”

He shrugged. “The nature of men and their sisters. Their way of showing affection is to harass you. More manly that way.”

It wasn’t that simple, and she didn’t know how to explain it. “Family aside, I couldn’t give up dancing. I
want
to win, more than anything.”

“I would not suggest you give up dance. I merely think you should take the floor to indulge your joy of dance, not to pursue a trophy. The journey is the treasure, not the prize at the end.”

“Now you’re a philosopher?”

Alejandro shook his head and placed a soft kiss against her icecream cold lips. “Just a man who wants to see you smile. Will you?”

Shanna looked at Alejandro. He was so comfortable with himself. Somehow wiser than a man who ran a sex club should be. He made everything seem so easy. Even personal discussions, which she usually downright loathed, felt freakishly natural. No pressure. No scolding or telling her how to do things. No taunting her about her failures. Just a steady voice, a tender touch, with lots of insight. Lovely…but none of that would put a trophy in her hand. Shanna wrapped her fingers around his and smiled. “There. Are you happy?”

“I have seen more genuine smiles at a beauty pageant.”

Sighing, Shanna sat back and licked at her cone. “Why does it matter to you if I’m happy or not?”

Alejandro paused, seeming to weigh his words. “You matter. I would hate to see you sacrifice everything for something that may never

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happen. I suspect you gave up high school frivolity, lasting friendships, and romance for a hunk of metal and a title.”

He was right…and wrong. Being a champion was everything to her.

“This is why I don’t date.” She stood and glared down at him. “I don’t expect you to understand. No one does.”

He stood and met her glare. “You have ended more than one dance partnership to pursue winning over friendship. What has that gotten you except a bad reputation? Those partners invested in you, cared about you. You cast them aside.”

“I had to! One was so injured, it was clear he was never coming back.”

“Might he have tried harder to recover if he had a reason to and a partner waiting for him?”

Guilt sliced through her. Maybe. Likely not…but maybe. Curt had been a hard worker and possessed a drive to win. Last she’d heard, he was selling insurance.

“Martin dropped me in competition. I could not risk that happening again. I’d lost faith in his ability, and a couple without trust does not function well.”

“The drop must have been painful, and I understand why you would not want an incapable partner. As you say, trust is essential. You spent nearly two years together, yet you never gave him a chance to rebuild it between you.”

She rolled her eyes. “What are you, my dance pimp? And before you start in on Jonathan, that decision was mutual. He wanted to get married more than he wanted to dance.”

Surprise flashed across his dark face. “Really? My mother will be happy to hear that. She hates you because you ran off her favorite.”

Shanna sat again. “Ugh! Everyone thinks that. We…just knew it was time to move on, both of us.”

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Speculation crossed Ali’s face, but he didn’t ask if she’d slept with Jonathan. For that, she was grateful. “And now, you have issues with Kristoff. What will you do if we cannot find our blackmailer in time?”

Good question. She’d been putting the decision off about her partnership with Kristoff. This was her year to win; she couldn’t imagine forfeiting. But… “If we don’t succeed in fishing this blackmailer out, I won’t have a choice. I like Kristoff. He’s talented and has a great work ethic—”

“But you have no problem leaving him behind?”

“It’s business.”

“And you will not let anything or anyone stand in your way, will you?”

His soft question nearly crushed her with guilt. She shoved the feeling aside. Giving up over half her life and the chance to finally reach her dreams? “No.”

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Chapter Seven

Alejandro paced in the security room, watching the video feed from Sneak Peek’s front door. He checked his watch. Eight-forty five. People were beginning to stream in, in greater numbers than usual for this time of night on a Thursday.

The word about his scene with Shanna was out. He and Del had seen to it personally, not using names, of course…but promising it would be special.

If Shanna showed up. And he wasn’t sure; she was fifteen minutes late. Where the hell was she?

“You’re going to wear out the carpet,” Del teased. Alejandro shot him a dark glare. “She’s not coming.”

“She’ll be here. You said yourself the woman is prickly and contrary for the purpose of needling you. You admitted that she likes to control her situation, so it can’t have been easy on her when you told her when to show up, what to wear…and nothing about what she could expect.”

All of that was true, yet he’d had a larger purpose than being a controlling jackass. “I want Shanna to lean on me. I want her to know that she can trust me.”

He wanted her to see what it felt like for someone to stand by her, even if she wasn’t winning.

“You can’t force her to figure that out.”

“Normally, I would not try, but with Shanna…” He sighed and stared at the video monitors that showed no sign of her arrival. “If I cannot find some way now to encourage her to latch on to me, she will slip through my fingers.”

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Del shrugged. “Why does it matter? I mean, I agree that she will be helpful in finding the blackmailer, but we can flush out the asshole without her.”

“She is not just business to me; she’s personal.”

“How personal?”

Interpretation: How deep were his feelings? There was the question that had been plaguing him all day. Shanna meant more to him than catching a scumbag blackmailer, more than an amazing lay, more than an intriguing woman. Analyzing how it had happened and why was pointless. It was what it was, and Alejandro always trusted his gut.

“I think I am in love.”

“That was fast. Less than a week.” Del arched a dark brow.

“More time will not change what I feel, except to make it deeper.” He sighed, knowing he spoke the truth, even as he said the words. “She is strong and vulnerable, smart, adorably stubborn and in utter need of someone to love. How can I resist?” He flashed Del a self-deprecating smile.

“How, indeed? If you intend to resist, get your poker face on fast. She’s here.”

Alejandro whipped his gaze up to the bank of monitors and smiled.

“Aww. She’s wearing a damn trench coat,” Del groused. Laughter bubbled up inside Alejandro. “Of course she is.” Her little rebellion. “But I will bet she wore what I sent her underneath.”

“I can’t wait for this.” Del rubbed his hands together. With blood beating a burning path in his veins, Alejandro burst out of the security office and stalked toward the front door. Del followed close behind.

Alejandro intercepted Shanna two seconds after she walked in.

“
Querida
, are you all right?”

As Shanna strode in, she lifted her lashes and sent him a skittish

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glance. “Fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Her guarded tone set off alarm bells. So she was trying to push her armor back in place, put distance between them. Damn it. Perhaps he had pushed her too hard last night…or made her feel too guilty.

“When you did not arrive at eight-thirty, I grew concerned.”

“No need.”

He reached up to help her with her coat. She jerked away. “Don’t. Just wait until…”

“We are on stage and I’m supposed to fuck you?”

She swallowed and sent him a shaky nod that seared his guts with panic. After tonight, she was going to turn around and walk out of his life—unless he thought fast.

“Is something wrong?” He gentled his expression. She looked away. “This is business. You’re doing what you need to do. So am I.”

“Shanna, this is not merely a business dealing or ‘just sex’ to me. I want it to be more than that for you, too.”

She shot him a deer-in-the-headlights stare. “Until Saturday, I have to focus on fixing my problem. You want me to dance for the joy of it, not for the trophy. I can’t be joyful if I already know before I dance a step that I won’t win.”

Alejandro sighed. He’d hoped he’d gotten through to her during their ice cream date, at least in some small way. But he’d been deluding himself. She was determined to shut him out and focus on nothing but the prize.

How the hell could he persuade her to stay with him after tonight, when she would only view him as a distraction, a speed bump slowing her race to winning?

“Not to interrupt, kids,” Del said, “But you need to make your way back to the room so you can get started. Showtime is in eight minutes.”

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