Watch Me (13 page)

Leaving him alone in bed had felt as if she’d torn away a part of herself. That scared the hell out of her.

The chilly California air of the early morning hadn’t helped to sort out her head. She was in love with a man who would never intend to stand in

-104-
Sneak Peek: Watch Me

the way of her dance dreams. But how could Alejandro not, as consuming as he was? She’d barely driven two miles from Sneak Peek when she’d been hit by pain from the withdrawal from his warmth, his acceptance and tenderness.

Dangerous. She was the Bitch of the Ballroom because discipline and a ruthless dedication to perfection prevailed—and would win her that long-coveted trophy. When the music was high and the lights were on her, the judges didn’t care what was deep in her heart. She’d do well to remember that.

Still, those moments in his arms… For the first time in years, maybe ever, she’d felt adored, and not because of what she might achieve or what competition she might win. She didn’t have anything to prove in that moment. Alejandro cared about her.
And he shows it in amazing,
creative, pleasure-drenched ways
, she thought to herself with a smile. Then she realized she was wearing a sex-induced smile while standing in front of her dad’s house on the day before the biggest competition of her career. Her smile faded.

She clutched a bag of bagels and cream cheese, along with a portable carafe of coffee she’d purchased at a bakery, and let herself into the house.

Shanna followed the smell of burned toast with a poignant smile. She sauntered into the kitchen and looked at her father, older now, gray at the temples, his reading glasses askew, but still vital and well built for fifty-something.

“Bagels?” she offered.

Her dad plucked charred bread from the toaster with ginger fingertips, then dropped it on the counter with a curse. Then he skewered her with a stare. “Sure. As soon as you explain why you’re wearing a man’s clothes, are rosy with whisker burn, and smell like sex.”

-105-
Shelley Bradley

Certainly nothing off about his sensory perception. She flushed. “I do things beyond work and practice at the dance studio.”

“I never noticed it until today. You’ve always been very single-minded about winning.”

“I still am. What happened last night won’t happen again.” She passed him the bag of bagels, hoping it would distract him. He ignored the gesture and arched a sharp brow, as if he disapproved. But Shanna couldn’t shake the impression that he was suppressing a smile.

“I suspected it would happen someday. Maybe it’s the female way. Who is he?”

Shanna frowned. “What do you mean, the female way?”

He shrugged. “Women follow their hearts, which usually lead them to some man or another, who may or may not respect their desire to keep pursuing their goals.”

Exactly. No doubt, he’d have complete disrespect for her if she ultimately made that choice. Her brothers, too.

“Which is precisely why Alejandro and I are…done.”

“Alejandro? Do I know him?”

Shanna shook her head. “Argentinean. He owns a nightclub. We met at the benefit for the Catholic orphans charity last weekend.”

God, it was weird to be discussing her love life with her father in the kitchen of her childhood at seven in the morning. She needed coffee for this.

“Hmm.” Her father hesitated. “What does he think of your dancing?”

“I assume he’s okay with it. Not that it matters.” Shanna sipped the caffeine-laden brew and let it sink into her hazy brain. He reached for the carafe of coffee and poured a steaming mug. “A hindrance, is he? Resenting your practices?”

“No.” Not unless she was avoiding him.

-106-
Sneak Peek: Watch Me

“Latin men are notoriously jealous. He can’t handle your time with Kristoff and the way your partner has to touch you?”

Shanna had to laugh. “No, he knows way too much about Kristoff to be jealous.”

“So you’re just worried he’d be a general distraction?”

“He would. The other night, I was headed for a sensible dinner and an early evening to bed. Big day of practice the next morning, which is vital with the competition coming up. He came by and just assumed I’d go out for ice cream with him.”

“Ice cream. That’s a huge problem.” Her father sipped his coffee, seemingly deep in thought.

Somehow, Shanna got the impression he was laughing silently at her.

“It is! I can’t afford to blow off sleep and eat a gallon of ice cream to satisfy some…romantic notion of his.

“And then he tells me personal stuff, about his childhood and friendships. He blurts out his views that commitment is absolute and infidelity is inexcusable. Why tell me? The whole incident is taking up my thoughts that should be directed to the competition. It’s tomorrow, and last night, he kept me up half the night…”

Realizing she’d nearly spilled the details of her sex life to her dad, Shanna flushed, then continued with a safer topic. “The man is just consuming. Him just
being
steals my attention and leads my thoughts astray. Every trick I’ve used in the past to ward off would-be Romeos doesn’t work with him. He just doesn’t give up and won’t go away.”

“And you’re so tempted to let him into your life that it frightens you.”

It wasn’t a question. He seemed to
know
that’s exactly how she felt.

“How…?” She grappled to find the right words. “You know?”

“Your mother and I each had lives before we married. Did you know she was a prima ballerina?”

A prima ballerina? No clue. “I knew she liked to dance around the

-107-
Shelley Bradley

kitchen and she was graceful…”

But her mother had died years ago, shortly before Shanna turned five. In some ways, her mother was as great a mystery to her as she would be if Shanna had never met her.

“American Ballet Theater. She was set to star in the season’s
Giselle
. To this day, I’ll never know what she saw in a cocky weightlifter coming fresh off a gold medal high. I had to have been a complete ass. But she claimed to love me. God knows the sun rose and set on that woman, as far as I was concerned.”

Shanna frowned, sensing that she would not like what came next.

“You married her and—”

“Encouraged her to stop dancing. Made sure I got her pregnant with your brother so she had to stay beside me. I was a hugely selfish bastard where her time and energy were concerned. If I could take it back somehow and let her take her rightful place on stage…”

Mouth gaping open, Shanna stared at her father.
This
was the man who had driven her for years. Nothing she’d ever done was ever good enough. Second place was first loser. Quitting was the professional equivalent of a noose.

“I don’t understand.”

“I know.” He sighed heavily and sat on one of the little wooden chairs they’d had forever. “I pushed you and pushed you. I don’t think I realized until just now that I did it because I wanted to make up for what I did to your mother. She never said that she regretted her decision. But I’d catch her every so often holding her toe shoes with a wistful look on her face. I suspect she always wondered what could have been. I didn’t want you wondering, too.”

Shock ricocheted through her. Her father had intentionally killed her mother’s dance dream? And now regretted it like hell. For years, he’d pushed Shanna. As a child, she’d wanted to follow one of her brothers

-108-
Sneak Peek: Watch Me

into their sports, but he’d specifically signed her up for dance class after dance class. Now she knew why. But…

“You sound as if you’re encouraging me to continue with Alejandro. Why change your mind now?”

He stirred his cooling coffee. “I don’t think your mother really regretted her decision to leave dance and marry, but I regretted standing in her way. She…just seemed happy. Your mother used to have this certain smile when she was particularly happy. A little lopsided, with a dimple in her left cheek and a twinkle in her eye. Every time I saw that grin, I knew she was at peace with herself.” Her father paused, looked up at her. “Until this morning, I’d never seen that smile on you. But there was a moment when you got out of your car. I was watching through the window. I saw that smile on your face. I’m guessing Alejandro put it there.”

He had. When she pushed aside her tumult about tomorrow’s competition, happiness sneaked in, again and again. The thought that, after last night, she might never see Alejandro again, gouged her with deep shards of pain. And it shouldn’t. Their relationship had been short. Intense, yes, but nothing to build a lifetime on, right?

Why did she feel like she was wrong?

“He sounds like the kind of guy who wouldn’t demand you give up your dream,” her father said. “If he can make you happy and give you the freedom to pursue what you want professionally, why aren’t you grabbing onto him with both hands?”

Her dad made that sound like a very good question. “With him as a distraction, I may never win.”

“If you love him, then you lose at life without him.”

“If I…divide my time, I won’t be as dedicated. If I never become a champion, you won’t think I’m weak?”

“Would it really matter if I did?”

-109-
Shelley Bradley

Shanna paused. Thought. Alejandro’s love or her dad’s approval? No choice. “No. I’m an adult.”

“You need a man’s love more than your daddy’s blessing.”

She nodded. “Jason and Kyle would make fun of me if I chose to be with Alejandro.”

Her dad rolled his eyes. “They’d make fun of you no matter what you did. They’re convinced that’s their prerogative as big brothers.”

In spite of the weirdness of the conversation, Shanna laughed. “You think?”

The smile faded as something occurred to her. “I’m not sure matters with Alejandro are as simple as you think. Let’s say I’ve played very hard to get. He may not be talking to me after I, um…sneaked out on him this morning.”

“Why don’t you send him tickets to tomorrow’s competition? I bet he shows. I want to meet the man who managed to see beyond the Bitch of the Ballroom act.”

“You’re coming tomorrow?”

He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Whether you’re crowned champion of the ballroom or of Alejandro’s heart, I’m proud no matter what.”

-110-
Sneak Peek: Watch Me

Chapter Nine

Waiting in the darkened corner of the ballroom’s dance floor, Shanna drew in a deep breath, smoothed her hair, straightened her sleeve, shifted her weight. And scanned the crowd—again. Nothing.

“You must not fidget.”

If she hadn’t been so nervous, she would have laughed at Kristoff. Why not just tell her she shouldn’t breathe? “I know. Sorry.”

“You are nervous?” her partner hovered behind her and whispered in her ear. “Do you fear losing?”

The competition? No, not really. They would lose, and she’d accepted it. But Alejandro? Absolutely she feared losing him. In fact, she suspected it was already too late.

Shanna had delivered the tickets to Sneak Peak in person this morning. Del had greeted her at the door. Actually, greeted was a strong word. Met was more accurate. Reluctantly, in fact. His behavior had been considerably cooler than their last meeting. When he said he’d give the tickets to Ali, she added that she hoped he would visit her before the show so they could talk. Del had merely given her a terse nod, then shut the door in her face.

Clearly, she’d pissed Ali off enough to annoy the hell out of Del. Alejandro hadn’t come to see her before the competition. Another scan of the ballroom…there sat her father, who waved. She smiled back, but she still didn’t see Alejandro’s coffee-dark hair, swagger, or sin-laced smile.

Had she pushed him away one too many times? The painful thought

-111-
Shelley Bradley

tightened her stomach into impossible knots. Throwing up didn’t feel out of the question.

“Shanna, you are nervous about the routine?”

No. She and Kristoff were ready. Beyond ready. They knew these dances. They had perfected their chemistry and rhythm on the floor. The blackmailer’s DVD would keep them from winning, but they would give their best showing.

“Or do you regret that you were unable to replace me with a new partner in time for this competition?”

Scowling at his bitter tone, Shanna glanced over her shoulder at Kristoff. Mouth pinched, eyes tight, shoulders stiff. Damn, he looked nervous. Petrified. What was that about? He was never wound up before a competition. Maybe he was rattled about the DVD circulating the judges’ table?

As Kristoff continued to watch her with narrow, burning eyes, and she replayed his question in her head, Shanna finally understood.

“I’m not replacing you.” She dropped her arm to her side and reached for his hand, hovering near her hip. She gave it a friendly squeeze. “I never auditioned anyone else. You were right about the partner swapping; it was stupid.”

He shot her a suspicious stare. “Why the change?”

“I used to bury my guilt about dropping someone for the sake of winning. It never worked. You made me see how pointless it was.”
With a
little help from Ali and Del
.

“You do not seek to replace me? Truly?”

She smiled. “You’re stuck with me.”

Kristoff leveled his mega-watt smile at her. “For weeks, I cannot stop from worrying you plan to replace me.” He squeezed her hand. “Thank you. I am happy now.”

“We win or lose together, okay? Besides, maybe we haven’t been

-112-
Sneak Peek: Watch Me

winning because we’ve forgotten that dancing isn’t all serious. Maybe…we just need to have fun with it tonight, see what happens.”

Kristoff hesitated, then teased, “Who are you and what have you done with my partner?”

Despite her nerves and her worries about losing Ali, Shanna had to laugh. If nothing else, she’d cemented one important relationship tonight. And damn if it didn’t feel good.

“If we were alone, I’d slug you for that.”

“There is the Shanna I know and adore,” Kristoff muttered. Just then, the music ended, and the announcer reminded the crowd of their competitors’ names and number. Shanna drew in a relaxing breath.
In. Out.
They were next.