Wayward Temptation (Wayward Saints MC Book 6) (26 page)

The cops came by a few more times asking me questions, but I told them the same thing that I told them the night at the hospital. I know better than to rat out my brother’s club, and I would never do something to hurt Raef’s brothers or father. They protected me with not much information
,
and I could never repay them for it.
 

He kisses his ole’ lady
,
and then leads me into a room. All his men follow behind him
,
and when he offers me a seat at the table
,
I get nervous. I know the rules of church
,
and that women are not allowed in here. Hell
,
I’m pretty sure that women aren’t even allowed to sit while the members are present.
 

The door closes
,
and I watch as Cason walks over to his chair at the head of the table. He bangs a gavel on the table
,
causing me to jump at the sound. I still have no idea why I’m here
,
but I have a feeling that I’m about to.

“I know the last week has been rough on you
,
just like I know it has been on us. We lost a brother, a son, a friend
,
and in your case a lover.” He clears his throat
,
and I try to will the tears from falling down my face.
 

The faces of the men next to me are somber
,
and devastatingly haunted. They all lost a part of their family. They grew up with Raef. He has been a part of them for years. He was only in my life for a short period of time.
 

“We don’t want you to be alone. Raef didn’t want you to be alone. I know that you’re probably going to say no, but please think about moving here to Vegas. You don’t have to give me an answer now, but I want you to know that our door is always open to you. You ever need anything, call. You’re part of our family now
,
whether you like it or not. Raef saw to it. I won’t let my son’s memory go away. He will live through each and every one of us
,
and especially you.” A hand lands on my shoulder
,
and when I turn to see one of his brothers, I can’t help but cry.

“The money was never used from the exchange.” I give him a questioning look
.
Someone brings the black duffle bag over
,
and drops it on the table in front of me.
 

“We want you to have it. I know that the money will never bring him back, but he wouldn’t want to you suffer either. He wanted me to tell you how much he loved you. Those were his last words to me
,
and I intend to keep my promise to my son. If you don’t want to take the money, then fine. But you will let us help you.” Putting my head in my hands, I cry. I cry for everything we all lost
,
and the fact that he really isn’t going to come back to me.
 

“I don’t want the money
,
” I whisper, choking up. “I don’t want any of it. I just want him back. I want him to walk through that door right now!” I stand from my chair and push it back, making my way to the door. Before I can open it, one of the guys stops me.
 

“I know your angry Sailor, we all are. We lost a brother. I lost my little brother. Nothing is going to bring him back, but don’t trash his memory because you can’t handle his life in the club. We are a family
,
and the only way we will ever get through this
,
is by sticking together. Raef gave his life to make sure my baby sister would get to meet her father. I hate him for it. I hate him for getting messed up in that shit in Sacramento, but I get why. He loved you
,
and I could see it written all over his face when he went toe to toe with our old man. Just know that if you leave, we will always be here to catch you if you fall.”
 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nod my head
,
and push open the door. I can’t be in this room any longer. When the door slams closed, everyone looks up at me
,
and I just make my way quickly towards the hall where all the rooms are located. Before I can get there, Anslie comes up
,
and stops me.
 

“You’re leaving aren’t you?” My lip trembles
,
and I hate to disappoint them, but I can’t handle being here.
 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that me loving your brother got him killed. I just can’t do this right now. Thank you for greeting me with open arms even after everything.” Tears well up in her eyes
,
and she pulls me in for a hug.
 

“Don’t be sorry. He was so happy when I talked to him last. You were the reason behind it
,
and that’s all that mattered. Please don’t shut us out completely. If you ever need anything, please call my dad or me. We don’t let our family down
,
and we always protect our own.” She lets me pull away from her
,
and I don’t know what to do or say.
 

This is just too much. I didn’t want to come here because I knew that the pain would be even worse than the ache that I have been living with the last few days. All these people love him. They all meant something to him.
 

Epilogue

One Year Later

The last year has been a rollercoaster to say the least. I lost the love of my life way too soon. I hated everyone and everything because I knew there was nothing I could do to bring him back. Instead of leaving right away when I was in Vegas, I decided to give them a chance. I spent a week with everyone
,
and I was able to get a better understanding of the man that I loved.
 

He was loved by so many
,
and no one was ready for him to go. I will never regret the time we did spend together
,
and my only wish is that I would have had more time with him.
 

Last night I packed up the rest of my stuff, and loaded the last box in my car. I don’t own very much
,
and to be honest
,
I’ve been having some trouble getting by. Butch comes by every once in a while
,
and leaves me cash
,
even when I don’t want his money.
 

Last week I told him I was leaving Sacramento
,
and heading up to Vegas to be closer to Raef’s family. The pain is still there
,
and even though I know it will never leave, seeing them for that week helped. It didn’t take away any of the pain in my heart, but it made it easier to breathe. I was able to finally sleep a whole night for the first time in days
,
and I felt loved.
 

The drive to Vegas was long, but as soon as I saw the city lights, I knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing. Pulling up to the cemetery they had him buried at was difficult
,
but I did it. The walk to his grave was short
,
and I placed a thing of flowers in the vase next to his headstone.
 

“You have no idea how much I miss you Raef. My nights are colder
,
and I just wish that you would walk through the door
,
and give me that smile I love so much.” I wipe the tears that are starting to fall from my eyes
,
before I continue.

“Anslie is going to be mad because I haven’t called in the last few months, but you can say I’ve had my hands full
,
” I look down at the little boy in my arms. He looks just like Raef.
 

“You would love him. He’s perfect in every way and looks just like you.” Closing my eyes, I place a kiss on top on his little head
,
and hug him to me. “I haven’t told your family yet, I just hope they don’t hate me for keeping the secret. I wanted to make sure he was here
,
before I got anyone’s hopes up.”
 

I run my fingers over his headstone. “Things have been hard lately. I just hope they don’t shut me out because I never told them. I don’t have anywhere else to go
,
and I know that someone has been paying my rent; I just wish I knew who. When I asked Butch about it
,
he told me he wasn’t
,
and that it had to be someone here in Vegas. Your family has been nothing up supportive
,
and I can’t thank you enough for everything you have given me.”
 

I wipe at my eyes again
,
and try to force the last words out
,
before he starts to fuss in my arms.
 

“You have given me a son, a family
,
and a love that no one can ever deny. I just wish you were here to enjoy it all with me. I promise to come by more
,
and to make sure he knows his father. I’ll never forget you
,
and what you have given me. I love you so damn much. I’ll see you again
,
” I press a kiss to my fingers
,
and then press them to the headstone.
 

Looking down at my little boy, I see him sleeping
,
and it brings a smile to my face. Without him, I wouldn’t have probably made it through Raef’s death. He is the only reason I really kept fighting most days. Knowing that I would see Raef’s face in this little boy’s face
,
made it easier.
 

Getting up off the ground, I dust my butt off
,
and walk back to the car. Once I get him strapped in, I take one last look at the grave before getting in
,
and making my way to the clubhouse.
 

When I pull into the yard, I see a few kids running around in the grass
,
while a few of the guys are standing around watching them and talking to each other. When they notice my car, they all watch me
,
as I pull into a spot.
 

Getting out, I see Brantley come from the garage
,
and then I hear a squeal come from behind me. Before I can even close my door, I’m being hugged by Anslie. “I can’t believe you’re here! You stopped answering my calls. I thought for sure you would never answer again.” She pulls me in for another hug
,
and I hear a door slam in the distance.
 

Brantley pulls me in for a hug next
,
and I can’t help but cry. Not a sad cry, but a happy one. Pulling out of his arms, I go to the back door
,
and open it. Grabbing the car seat, I set it on the ground
.
Anslie all but pushes me out of the way
,
so she can get a look.
 

“You didn’t say anything
,
” she whispers. She runs her fingers over his cheek
,
and the tears start to fall down her cheeks too.
 

“I didn’t want to jinx it. I couldn’t lose the only thing I had left of him. I’m sorry—”
 

“Don’t be sorry. You did what you had to in order to survive. Just please tell me you’ve decided to live in Vegas
,
” Cason says from behind me. I didn’t even hear him come up behind me.
 

Turning to face him, I nod my head. “Yeah. I want him to be raised around his family. I want everyone to tell him stories of his dad that I don’t know. He deserves that.”
 

Cason pulls me in for a hug. “Thank you. I wish you would have said something. We would have been there for you during this whole thing.” I shake my head at him
,
and he smiles.
 

“I needed to do it on my own. Raef knew I was strong
,
and I wanted to prove it to myself.”
 

“So what’s his name?” Brantley asks as some of the other guys make their way towards us.
 

“Raef Alexander.”
 

Cason smiles at me. He puts his hand on my shoulder
,
and squeezes. “He’s a junior.” I nod my head
,
and look at the rest of the guys gathering around.