What Remains (23 page)

“What are you looking for, Tess?” It was an inane question, but he had to broach the silence to keep his mind off the fact that he wanted her now, desperately.

“The number to a leasing office in Amherst, that Gregory gave me.”

“So, he’s been helping you plan your escape, I see.”

“Believe it or not, I’m fully capable of leaving here whenever I want, without anyone’s help.”

“As your past can attest to, I’m sure,” he jeered, unable to disguise the hurt.  “Let’s see, on your résumé I think it showed six different jobs in six years.  I’d say you have leaving down to an art form.”

“Only when it comes to jobs.  I tend to be pretty reliable when it comes the people I love, especially when they need me.”

The insinuation hit its mark.  Seth almost reeled from the impact.  So sweet, little Tessa Maguire had a mean streak after all, and she wielded it with the precision of an upper cut to the jaw.

“Touché,” he said quietly, but only after he was able to recover from her remark and regain his bearings.

A brief flash of regret softened her expression before it disappeared just as quickly behind the spitefulness in her response.  “Don’t
screw with me when I’m angry, Seth, because you’ll lose.”

“I have no intentions of
screwing with you, Tess.  Your mortal combat skills are a lot more honed than mine.”  Even though he grinned, Seth was thinking about how badly he wanted to wring her pretty neck as she continued her search.

“I like to think of them more as survival skills.”

Another drawer took the brunt of her discontent with such force that it sent the retrievers, which were lying at her feet, scrambling out of the room for cover.

“That works, too, I guess.  Although I think the dogs see it more my way.”

A hint of a smile played at the corners of her mouth, which in return, caused Seth to grin slightly, though neither one of them were ready for a truce.

“I found it,” Tess told him almost apologetically, lifting up the post-it-note in front of her that had been crumpled in her fist.

All he could do was nod, because somehow his heart had fallen to the pit of his stomach, making it impossible for him to even breathe.

“Greg has been after me for months to move in with him.  This was going to be my compromise.”

“What kept you here this long?”

Dropping her gaze, Tess opened up the post it note and stared at it for several seconds before she looked at him again.  She shook her head, as if there was no answer to his question.

“You don’t have to say it.  I know why you stayed; out of gratitude.”

“You don’t know anything, Seth Richards.”

“No, you’re wrong.  I know more than you think.”

“If only we could all
be as sure of ourselves as you, The Great Wizard of Oz.—or perhaps Odd, considering the rest of your family.”

“You’ll get no argument from me there.”

Tessa looked down at the paper still in her hand, trying to hide the lop-sided grin that played at her lips.

“It’s totally not fair.”

“What?”

“That you can make me smile even when all I really want to do is gouge your eyes out.”

“Same here.”

“Jerk.”

“Insufferable witch.”

“Oh, that’s a good one,” she agreed with reluctance.

“You’ve taught me well.”

A strained silence fell between them again, but this time, Seth could literally feel her emotions begin to waver; the air in the room becoming lighter.  It felt as if he could actually breathe again.  The knowledge that she had the ability to affect him in such a profound way was frightening.  How would he ever be able to live without her?  The idea of waking up one morning and finding her gone scared the hell out of him.

“Tess, I’ll support you no matter what you decide.  I
am
a bully when it comes to you.  But I do it because I care, and I want you to have all the things you deserve.  Forgive me, please.”

With her lips trembling and her eyes beginning to flood with unshed tears, Tessa shook her head as she walked toward him, arms extended.  Wrapping herself around him, she embraced him tightly.

“I’m sorry, too.”

“There’s no need to apologize.  It’s time for you to move on.  I understand that,” Seth reassured her as his hands slipped into the silkiness of her hair, and he kissed the top of her head.  “I don’t like it, but I understand.”

“No, you don’t understand,” she sniffled.  “I don’t want to leave.  I feel like we’re family, now.  That’s why I didn’t want to move into town, or in with Gregory, because I’ll miss you.  But now everything has to change, so
you
can be happy.  And I want that for you, Seth.  I really do, but there’s a part of me that wants to be selfish and beg you not to change the way things are right now.”

A wave of relief and hope sprung up in his chest, causing him to laugh just from the sheer joy he felt.

“Is that what this is all about?”

Still clinging to him, she nodded in affirmation.  Taking her by the chin, Seth forced her to look at him so that she could see his sincerity when he spoke.

“You’re not going to lose me.  I’m just making some financial changes, that’s all.”

“But you will have to give the house away, and then you won’t need me anymore.”  The tears now streaming down her face melted his heart, but also made him the happiest man alive.

“That’s true, I won’t need a housekeeper.  But I’ll need my best friend.  And I was hoping she would have a house I can crash at for a while until I figure out my next step.”

“Oh,” she giggled, realizing now why he had been so insistent.

“That is if you’re young man approves, of course.”

“He’s not my young man,” Tessa admitted shyly.  “He’s angry with me.”

“No, not angry—frustrated, maybe.”

“No.  He’s angry.”

Drying her tears away with his thumbs, Seth grinned.  “I can’t think of anything you could do that would make him angry for very long.”

“Oh, don’t be so sure.”

“Okay, then what happened?  I’ll tell you whether he’s going to forgive you or not.”

While turning a pretty shade of pink, she grinned, but refused to tell him.

“What? Did you lift his wallet or something?”

“No…” she laughed, shaking her head.  “I refused to sleep with him.”

“Well, alright then…” Seth began awkwardly, unprepared to discuss her sex life, one that didn’t include him, anyway.  Still, he was touched that she trusted him enough to share it with him, finally.  “That could be a game changer; I’m not going to lie.”

“I told you.”

“I know, but I never considered
that
possibility.  Do you want to…I mean…sleep with him?”

Tessa sniffled and then wiped her nose that was now running, on the back of her hand, since nothing else was available at the moment.  “Not really—
It just never feels right; do you know what I mean?”

“Here…” he grumbled, lifting her up and sitting her down on the counter so the two of them could be at eye level for a change.  Tearing a paper towel from the roll, he took it and carefully wiped Tessa’s nose.  “Better?”

When she nodded that it was, he concluded.  “So, it seems you’ve had a pretty emotional few weeks.”

“I have,” she said, returning his smile, bringing her hands up to rub the stubble on his face.  “But I feel better now that I’ve had a good cry, thanks to you.”

“I do what I can.”

Tessa’s fingertips continued to scratch lightly at his day’s growth, then began to trace the lines at the corners of his eyes, and eventually his laugh lines.  When they
began to trace the outline of his mouth, Seth took them up in his hands and pressed them against his lips.

“Sometimes I think I feel a little too comfortable with you,” she admitted softly.

“I think we are both guilty of that.”

“I don’t know why, because I really don’t like you very much.”

“Yeah, I was thinking it’s a good thing I hired you before I got to know you.”

After they shared a moment of laughter, with her hands now resting on her lap, Tessa breathed in deep and exhaled slowly.

“Are you tired?” he asked, brushing the hair away from her face and securing it behind her ear.

“A little.”

“Well, let me get out of here so you can get some sleep.”

Tessa nodded in compliance, though she made no move to get off the counter, instead, she leaned forward and placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

“What was that for?” Seth asked, with his hands beginning to tremble slightly from the need to touch her.

“To say thank you.”

“I haven’t done anything, but you’re welcome anyway.”

“Do you really not know?”

“No, Tess, I don’t.”

“Your kindness towards me has changed my whole life, Seth.  It’s even changed the way I see myself.  And it has nothing to do with the scholarship, or the car, or the insane amount of money you spent on me and my kids at Christmas...” she smiled sweetly.  “You’ve shown me that if someone like you, with so much integrity and sense of responsibility, could accept someone as broken as me, maybe…just maybe…it’s okay to accept myself.  I never want to go back to that pathetic creature I was before I met you.  Every time you come through that kitchen door and smile as if you’re truly happy to see me
…me,
of all people
…
it makes me one step closer to becoming the woman I’ve always wanted to be.”

Seth’s mouth tightened as he fought hard to keep it together.  Nodding briefly, he cleared his throat and reached out to pat the top of her head.  But immediately he realized it wasn’t enough, so he drew her into his arms and buried his face in her hair until he was able to speak again. 

Even then, he could only get out three short words.

“Love you, kiddo.”

Chapter Eighteen

“I love you, too,” Tessa whispered against his neck, her breath warm and comforting against his skin.

Seth Richards closed his eyes.  How could she not be aware of what she was doing to him?  As grateful as he was for her admission that she saw them as ‘family’, it was the last thing on earth he wanted to hear.  It was more of a death sentence than being placed in the ‘friend’ category.  At least friends were emotionally removed enough from one another that they would never consider touching each other intimately, dressing and undressing in front of each other. ‘Family’ simply meant he had won her heart and her trust, but not her passion.

“I know you do, baby girl,” he acknowledged with a great amount of regret, which he hoped was not obvious in his voice.  When he pulled away, he smiled and held her head between her hands, pressing his forehead against hers.  “And it’s going to be at least a year before this inheritance thing is resolved, so don’t go anywhere until I tell you it’s time.  Alright?”

“I won’t,” she giggled.  “I promise.”

“Good, we can consider it settled then?”

“Settled,” she grinned brightly.

Feeling satisfied that he had gotten his point across, Seth lifted his head, though his thumbs still lingered at the corners of her mouth that was still curved upward in a smile.  It never ceased to amaze him just how beautiful she was, especially when she looked at him like she was looking at him now; seemingly happy and innocent. 

His thumbs twitched impatiently, as their eyes remained locked.  They wanted to feel the fullness of her mouth beneath them, and so Seth allowed them there freedom, just this once.  As they skimmed across the softness, her lips parted slightly, invitingly.

Seth wanted to scold her for taunting him, he wanted to pull away and pretend he never noticed it, he wanted…

When her tiny fingers reached up and drew the tip of his thumb ever so slightly into her mouth, it didn’t matter what he wanted anymore, Seth was little more than a pawn in Tessa’s hands.