What to Expect the First Year (54 page)
Read What to Expect the First Year Online
Authors: Heidi Murkoff
Thinking about going bottle-free? As long as you can organize your life and your lifestyle to fit a bottle-free first year, there's no need to bring on the bottle (or to push it if baby just won't take the bottle bait). That said, it's always good to have a backup planâand a backup supply of breast milk in case of an emergency (you're called out of town unexpectedly, for instance, or you're temporarily taking medication that isn't safe for breastfeeding babies). So consider pumping and freezing a small stash of breast milk just in case (you may need to replace the emergency cache as it expires;
click here
for time limits on frozen breast milk).
Ready to offer that first bottle? If you're lucky, baby will take to it like an old friend, eagerly latching on and lapping up the contents. Or, maybe more realistically, your breast fan may take a little time to warm up to this unfamiliar food source. Keeping these tips in mind will help win baby over:
⢠Time it right. Wait until your baby is both hungry (but not frantically so) and in a good mood before giving a bottle for the first time.
⢠Hand it over. Your baby is more likely to accept the first few bottles if someone other than you offers themâpreferably when you and your milk aren't within sniffing distance.
⢠Keep it covered. If you have to offer that first bottle yourself, it may help to keep your breasts under cover. Bottle-feed braless or in a thin or low-cut t-shirt, and your baby will be too close to the goods.
⢠Pick the right nipple. Some breastfed babies take to any shape bottle nipple the first time it's offered. Others balk at the unfamiliar shape and texture that feels very different from mama's own. If your baby resists a particular nipple after several tries, try one with a different design (for instance, one that mimics the shape and pliability of a human breast and nipple). If your baby takes a pacifier, a nipple that's similar in shape and feel may do the trick.
⢠Dribble some on. To help baby figure out what's in the bottle, shake a few drops onto the nipple before offering it.
⢠Warm it up. Your nipples come already warmed, bottle nipples do not. Try dipping the nipple in warm
water just before offering it, to take off the chill. Warming the bottle contents (whether you're serving formula or expressed breast milk) may help, tooâthough it's not necessary if baby is fine with room temperature or even straight-from-the-fridge.
⢠Be a sneak. If you keep meeting bottle resistance, sneak it in during sleep. Pick up baby toward the end of a nap, and offer the bottle before your little dreamer is fully awake. Hopefully, he or she will be too sleepy to notice. Once you've gained sleepy acceptance, you can try when baby's alert.
Myth:
Supplementing with formula (or adding cereal to a bottle) will help baby sleep through the night.
Reality:
Babies sleep through the night when they are developmentally ready to do so. Bringing on bottles of formula or introducing cereal prematurely won't make that bright day (the one when you'll wake up realizing you had a full night's sleep) dawn any sooner.
Myth:
Breast milk alone isn't enough for my baby.
Reality:
Exclusively breastfeeding your baby for 6 months provides him or her with all the nutrients your little one needs. After 6 months, a combo of breast milk and solids can continue nourishing your growing baby well without adding formula.
Myth:
Giving formula to my baby won't decrease my milk supply.
Reality:
If you choose to do the combo (
click here
), go for it. But if you're hoping to breastfeed exclusively (or even mostly), it's important to remember that any time you feed something other than breast milk to your baby (formula or solid food), your milk supply drops. It's a simple supply-demand calculation: The less breast milk your baby takes, the less milk your breasts make. But waiting until breastfeeding is well established can minimize the effect of those diminishing returns from supplementary bottles.
Myth:
Breastfeeding is an all or nothing proposition.
Reality:
You want to breastfeed your baby but aren't sure you're willing to do it exclusively (or perhaps you're unable to do it exclusively). Combining breast milk and formula isn't only possible, for some moms and their babies it's the best of both worlds, and it's definitely a whole lot better than giving up on breastfeeding altogether. So feel good about doing the combo, making sure to fit in enough breastfeedings so your milk supply doesn't drop too much and remembering that any amount of breast milk your baby gets is a bonus.
When to begin.
Some babies have no difficulty switching from breast to bottle and back again right from the start, but most do best with both if the bottle isn't introduced until at least 2 to 3 weeks. Earlier than this, bottle-feedings may interfere with the successful establishment of breastfeeding (not so much because of so-called “nipple confusion,” but because your breasts won't be stimulated enough to pump up supply). Wait much later than this, and baby might reject rubber nipples in favor of mama's soft, warm, familiar ones.
How much breast milk or formula to use.
Breastfeeding automatically controls intakeâallowing baby to eat to appetite, not to the specified number of ounces you're pushing. Bring on the bottle, and it's easy to succumb to the numbers game. Resist. Give your baby only as much as he or she is hungry for, with no prodding to finish any particular amount. Rememberâthere are no absolutes when it comes to how much formula or breast milk to feed your little one at each meal. The average 9-pounder may take as much as 6 ounces at a feeding, or less than 2. Looking for a little more guidance? A very rough general rule of thumb is to take your baby's weight and multiply it by 2.5âthat's the total number of ounces to feed your baby over the course of a 24-hour period.
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for more.
Getting baby used to the bottle.
If your schedule will require you to regularly miss two feedings during the day, switch to the bottle one feeding at a time, starting at least 2 weeks before you plan to go back to work or school. Give your baby a full week to get used to the single bottle-feeding before moving on to two. This will help not only baby adjust gradually, but your breasts, too, if you'll be supplementing with formula instead of pumping and feeding breast milk. The ingenious supply-and-demand mechanism that controls milk production will cut back the amount as you do, making you more comfortable when you're back on the job or in class.
Keeping yourself comfortable.
If you plan to give a bottle only occasionallyâsay for your Saturday date night or for a weekly classâfeeding baby thoroughly (or expressing) from both breasts before heading out will minimize uncomfortable fullness and leakage. Make sure your baby won't be fed too close to your return (less than 2 hours is probably too close) so you can breastfeed as soon as you get home ⦠and before you burst.
Even if you'll be supplementing with formula, keep in mind that you'll probably need to express milk if you will be away from your baby for more than 5 or 6 hours, to help prevent clogging of milk ducts, leaking, and a diminishing milk supply. The milk can be either collected and saved for future feedings or tossed.
Don't have enough expressed milk to make up a complete bottle? No need to throw all that hard work down the drain. Instead, mix formula with the expressed milk to fill the bottle. Less wasteâand your baby will be getting enzymes from the breast milk that will help digest the formula better.
Most of the time, breast milk alone provides all the nourishment a tiny body needs to grow and thrive on. But once in a while, a mom's breast milk supply just can't keep up with all of her baby's needsâno matter how she tries to pump it up. If the doctor has recommended offering supplementary formula because your baby isn't doing well on breast milk only, following that advice will most likely get your little one back on track soon. But how do you beef up your milk supply while you're beefing up your baby with formula, so you can eventually fill all of your baby's nutritional needs without supplementation? The best solution may be using a supplemental nutrition system (SNS), shown
here
, which provides a baby with the formula he or she needs to begin thriving while stimulating mom's breasts to produce more breast milk. SNS not working for you? Check out the other tips for pumping up your milk supply
here
.
Smiling
“My son is 5 weeks old and I thought he would be smiling real smiles by now, but he doesn't seem to be.”
Cheer up ⦠and smile. Even some of the happiest babies don't start true social smiling until 6 or 7 weeks of age. And once they start smiling, some are just naturally more smiley than others. How will you be able to tell a real social smile from those early gas-passing ones (or those “I just peed and it feels so good” ones)? Easy: by the way the baby uses his whole face to smile, not just his mouthâand by the way that tentative, gummy grin instantly melts your heart into a puddle of slush.
That first smile (and all the smiles that follow) will be worth waiting for. Just remember, while babies don't smile until they're ready, they're ready faster when they're talked to, played with, kissed and cuddled, and smiled at ⦠a lot. The more you smile at your baby, the faster he'll be matching you grin for grin.
“My 6-week-old baby makes a lot of breathy vowel sounds but no consonants at all. Is she on target speechwise?”
With young babies, the ayes (and the a's, e's, o's, and u's) have it. It's the vowel sounds they make first, somewhere between the first few weeks and the end of the second month. At first the breathy, melodic, and insanely cute cooing and throaty gurgles seem totally random. But then you begin to notice they're directed at you when you talk to your baby, at a stuffed animal who's sharing her play space, at a mobile beside her that's caught her eye, or at her own reflection in the crib mirror. These vocal exercises are often practiced as much for her own pleasure as for yoursâbabies actually seem to love listening to their own voices. And while she's at it, your sweet talker is also conducting a series of verbal experiments, discovering which combinations of throat, tongue, and mouth actions make what sounds.
For you, this adorable cooing is a welcome step up from crying on the communication ladderâand just the first step of many. By about 3 to 4 months, baby will begin adding laughing out loud, squealing, and a few consonants to her repertoire. The range for consonant vocalizations is very broadâsome babies make a few consonant-like sounds in the third month, others not until 5 or 6 months, though 4 months is about average.
Your baby's a sponge for your mother (and father) tongueâsoaking up every syllable that's spoken around him or her. That said (and said, and said again), your little one's speech will develop faster and better if you nurture it. Here are some of the many ways you can talk your baby into talking:
Do a blow-by-blow.
Don't make a move, at least when you're around your baby, without talking about it. Narrate the dressing process: “Now I'm putting on your diaper ⦠here goes the t-shirt over your head ⦠now I'm pulling up your pants.” In the kitchen, put your spin on salad makingâand don't forget to toss the conversation back to your baby. During the bath, dish on soap and rinsing, and explain that a shampoo makes hair shiny and clean. Baby doesn't get it? Of course notâbut that's not the point. Blow-by-blow descriptions help get you talking and baby listeningâand ultimately, understanding.
Ask a lot.
Don't wait until your baby starts having answers to start asking questions. The questions can be as varied as your day: “Would you like to wear the red pants or the green ones?” “Isn't the sky a beautiful blue today?” “Should I buy green beans or broccoli for dinner?” Pause for an answer (one day your baby will surprise you with one), and then supply the answer yourself, out loud (“Broccoli? Good choice”).
Give baby a chance.
Studies show that infants whose parents talk with them rather than at them learn to speak sooner. Give your baby a chance to get in a coo, a gurgle, or a giggle. In your running commentaries, be sure to leave some openings for baby's comments.
Keep it simpleâsome of the time.
It's fine to recite the Gettysburg Address if you want (baby will love listening to anything), but as he or she gets a bit older, you'll want to make it easier to pick out individual words. So at least part of the time, make a conscious effort to use simple sentences and phrases: “See the light.” “Bye-bye.” “Baby's fingers, baby's toes.” “Nice doggie.”
Put aside pronouns.
It's difficult for a baby to grasp that “I” or “me” or “you” can be mommy, or daddy, or grandma, or even baby, depending on who's talking. So most of the time, refer to yourself as Mommy or Daddy and to your baby by name: “Now Daddy is going to change Madison's diaper.”
Raise your pitch.
Most babies prefer a high-pitched voice, which may be why female voices are usually naturally higher pitched than male voicesâand why most mom (and dad) voices instinctively climb an octave or two when they talk to their newborns. Try raising your pitch when talking directly to your baby, and watch the reaction. (A few infants prefer a lower pitch, so experiment to see which appeals to yours.)
Bring on the baby talk ⦠or not.
If the silly stuff (“Who's my little bunny-wunny?”) comes naturally to you, babble away in baby talkâafter all, babies eat it up. If you'd prefer to keep it simple yet dignified, that's fine also. Even if you're big on baby talk, try not to use it exclusively. Toss some more adult (but still simple) English into your baby-side chats, too, so that your little one won't grow up thinking all words end with y or ie.
Be present (tense).
As your little one's comprehension develops, stick more to the here and nowâwhat baby can see or is experiencing at the moment. Young babies don't have a memory for the past or a concept of the futureâand a change in tense won't make sense for many months to come.
Ape your little monkey.
Babies love the flattery that comes with imitation, so be a mommy or daddy mimic. When baby coos, coo back. Answer that breathy “ah” with an equally breathy “ah.” Not only will you be playing baby's soon-to-be favorite game, but you'll be reinforcing those first attempts at talking, and that will only encourage more of the same ⦠and better.
Set it to music.
Don't worry if you can't carry a tuneâbabies don't know their sharps from their flats, and they don't much care. Your baby will love your singing whether it's pitch perfect or off-key, rock or rap, techno or R&B, or a horrible hybrid. Remember some nursery rhymes from your own nursery days? Even young infants will be engrossed by Mother Goose. (Drawing a blank? Let Google jog your memory, or make up some silly ditties of your own, with hand gestures for double the fun.) Develop a playlistâyou'll soon see which songs rock your baby's world most. And sing them again and again.
Read aloud.
It's never too early to begin reading some simple board books out loud. In fact, the AAP recommends reading daily to baby from birth. Craving some adult-level reading material? Share your love of literature (or recipes or gossip or politics) with your little one by reading what you like to read, aloud. The words will go over your baby's headâbut straight into those ears (and that brain).
Take your cues from baby.
Everyone needs some quiet timeânewborns included. When your baby tunes out, turns away, or cranks up the crankies, that's a signal that his or her verbal saturation point has been reached, and that it's time to give your voice (and baby's ears) a rest.