When Harry Met Sally (3 page)

Sally's
car rounds the corner near some refinery tanks, heads into a diner parking lot
.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    I don't want to spend the rest of my life in Casablanca married to a man who runs a bar. That probably sounds very snobbish to you, but I don't.

The car pulls up in front of a diner straight out of the fifties, Harry driving
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    You'd rather have a passionless marriage—

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    —and be First Lady of Czechoslovakia—

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    —than live with the man …

INT. CAR—NIGHT

HARRY
    … you've had the greatest sex of your life with, just because he owns a bar and that's all he does.

SALLY
    Yes, and so would any woman in her right mind. Women are very practical.

Sally takes out a can of hairspray, sprays her hair
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Even Ingrid Bergman, which is why she gets on that plane at the end of the movie.

EXT. DINER PARKING LOT—NIGHT

HARRY
    
(getting out of car)
    Oh, I understand.

SALLY
    
(getting out of car)
    What? What?

HARRY
    Nothing.

Harry crosses toward the diner. Sally follows after him
.

SALLY
    What?

HARRY
    Forget about it.

SALLY
    What? What? Forget about what?

He doesn't answer and heads up the stairs to the diner, Sally following
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Now just tell me.

HARRY
    Obviously you haven't had great sex.

He goes inside the diner. She follows
.

INT. DINER—NIGHT

HARRY
    
(to the hostess)
    Table for two.

SALLY
    Yes, I have.

HARRY
    No, you haven't.

He crosses away from her toward the table
.

SALLY
    It just so happens I have had plenty of good sex.

This doesn't
go unheard by the hostess and other diners. Sally walks to the table, sits down
.

HARRY
    With whom?

SALLY
    What?

HARRY
    With whom have you had this great sex?

SALLY
    
(embarrassed)
    I'm not going to tell you that.

HARRY
    Fine. Don't tell me.

A long silence. Harry looks at the menu. Sally opens hers but doesn't read it
.

SALLY
    Shel Gordon.

HARRY
    Shel. Sheldon? No. You did not have great sex with Sheldon.

SALLY
    I did too.

HARRY
    No, you didn't. A Sheldon can do your taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon is your man, but humping and pumping is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. “Do it to me, Sheldon.” “You're an animal, Sheldon.” “Ride me, big Sheldon.” It doesn't work.

A WAITRESS approaches the table
.

WAITRESS
    What can I get you?

HARRY
    I'll have the Number Three.

The Waitress turns to Sally
.

SALLY
    I'd like the chef salad, please, with the oil and vinegar on the side. And the apple pie à la mode.

WAITRESS
    
(writing)
    Chef and apple à la mode.

SALLY
    But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side. And I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing.

WAITRESS
    Not even the pie?

SALLY
    No, just the pie. But then not heated.

As the Waitress leaves, Harry stares in disbelief at Sally
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    What?

HARRY
    Nothing. Nothing. So how come you broke up with Sheldon?

SALLY
    How do you know we broke up?

HARRY
    Because if you didn't break up, you wouldn't be with me, you'd be off with Sheldon the Wonder Schlong.

SALLY
    First of all, I'm not
with
you. And second of all, it's none of your business why we broke up.

HARRY
    You're right, you're right. I don't want to know.

After a beat:

SALLY
    Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous and I had these Days of the Week underpants.

HARRY
    
(makes a buzzer sound)
    I'm sorry, I need a judge's ruling on this. Days of the Week underpants?

SALLY
    Yes. They had the days of the week on them, I thought they were sort of funny—and one day Sheldon says to me, “You never wear Sunday.” He's all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn't believe me.

HARRY
    What?

SALLY
    They don't make Sunday.

HARRY
    Why not?

SALLY
    Because of God.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. DINER—NIGHT—REESTABLISH

INT. DINER—NIGHT
They are finishing their meal. Sally figures out her portion of the bill
.

SALLY
    Fifteen percent of my share is …
(writes)
Six-ninety … leave seven….

She notices Harry just staring at her
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    
(thinking she might have some food on her face, she nervously wipes)
What? Do I have something on my face?

HARRY
    You're a very attractive person.

SALLY
    Thank you.

HARRY
    Amanda never said how attractive you were.

SALLY
    Well, maybe she doesn't think I'm attractive.

HARRY
    I don't think it's a matter of opinion. Empirically, you are attractive.

They get up to leave
.

SALLY
    Amanda is my friend.

Harry throws down a crumpled bill, and they head for the door
.

HARRY
    So?

SALLY
    So you're going with her.

HARRY
    So?

SALLY
    So you're coming on to me.

EXT. DINER—NIGHT

HARRY
    
(coming out of door)
    No, I wasn't.

Sally looks at him
.

HARRY
    (
CONT'D
)    What? Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come-on?

Harry walks to the driver's side as Sally is unlocking the passenger door
.

HARRY
    (
CONT'D
)    All right, all right.

Both walk into the foreground, meeting. Sally moves away from him, upset
.

HARRY
    (
CONT'D
)    Let's just say, just for the sake of argument, that it was a come-on. Okay. What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, okay? I take it back.

SALLY
    You can't take it back.

HARRY
    Why not?

SALLY
    Because it's already out there.

An awkward pause
.

HARRY
    Oh, jeez. What are we supposed to do? Call the cops? It's already out there!

SALLY
    Just let it lie, okay?

HARRY
    Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. That's what I always say.

They both get in the car
.

INT. CAR—NIGHT

HARRY
    Let it lie.
(beat)
Want to spend the night in a motel?

Sally glares at him
.

HARRY
    (
CONT'D
)    See what I did? I didn't let it lie.

SALLY
    Harry—

HARRY
    I said I would and then I didn't—

SALLY
    Harry—

HARRY
    I went the other way—

SALLY
    Harry—

HARRY
    What?

SALLY
    We are just going to be friends, okay?

HARRY
    Great. Friends. The best thing.

As the car starts up and pulls out, we—

CUT TO
:

EXT. HIGHWAY—NIGHT
As the car tools along, we hear

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    You realize, of course, that we could never be friends.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    Why not?

INT. CAR—NIGHT
Sally is driving
.

HARRY
    What I'm saying—and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form—is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.

SALLY
    That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there's no sex involved.

HARRY
    No, you don't.

SALLY
    Yes, I do.

HARRY
    No, you don't.

SALLY
    Yes, I do.

HARRY
    You only think you do.

SALLY
    You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

HARRY
    No, I'm saying they all
want
to have sex with you.

SALLY
    They do not.

HARRY
    Do too.

SALLY
    They do not.

HARRY
    Do too.

SALLY
    How do you know?

HARRY
    Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

SALLY
    So you're saying a man
can
be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.

HARRY
    No. You pretty much want to nail them, too.

SALLY
    What if
they
don't want to have sex with
you?

HARRY
    Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is
already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

SALLY
    Well, I guess we're not going to be friends, then.

HARRY
    Guess not.

SALLY
    That's too bad.
(beat)
You were the only person I knew in New York.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. NEW YORK SKYLINE—DAWN
As the car comes over the George Washington Bridge. A gorgeous day
.

DISSOLVE TO
:

EXT. NEW YORK STREET CORNER—DAY
Downtown near Washington Square. The car pulls up and Harry hops out, grabbing his stuff. Sally also walks to the back of the car
.

HARRY
    Thanks for the ride.

SALLY
    Yeah. It was interesting.

HARRY
    It was nice knowing you.

SALLY
    Yeah.

Sally nods. Harry nods. An awkward moment
.

Sally holds out her hand. They shake
.

SALLY
    (
CONT'D
)    Well, have a nice life.

HARRY
    You too.

Harry starts to walk off.

As she drives off
.

FADE OUT
.

FADE IN

DOCUMENTARY FOOTAGE
Another OLDER COUPLE sitting together on the same love seat we saw earlier
.

SECOND WOMAN
    We fell in love in high school—

SECOND MAN
    Yeah, we were high school sweethearts.

SECOND WOMAN
    But then after our junior year, his parents moved away.

SECOND MAN
    I never forgot her.

SECOND WOMAN
    He never forgot me.

SECOND MAN
    Her face was burned on my brain. And it was thirty-four years later that I was walking down Broadway and I see her coming out of Toffenetti's.

SECOND WOMAN
    And we both looked at each other, and it was just as though not a single day had gone by.

SECOND MAN
    She was just as beautiful as she was at sixteen.