When Parents Worry (4 page)

Rachel sat on a less-than-clean toilet seat in a public bathroom. Is she going to get an infection?

I don’t know how to say this, but I’m worried my son’s “member” may be too big.

Leslie, our seven-year-old, wants to give up taking karate. Can you please explain to her how important it is that she continues?

Michelle has something blue in her ear. (It was ice cream sprinkles.)

Myra has had a Band-Aid on her face for three days. We took it off and now the area looks red and puffy.

We are going to a Rolling Stones concert. How can we protect our three-month-old’s ears?

A chipmunk fell out of a tree and landed on my daughter’s head. Can you check the scratches she got?

My three-year-old ate a donut with mold on it.

We went to see fireworks yesterday with Leon, our six-month-old. Now he’s acting weird. He keeps laughing when he sees things falling.

My daughter has a mole, which—I’m pretty sure—moved to a different spot. Please call to advise.

We have five cats and two dogs. My six-month-old has a runny nose. Could it be allergies?

Whenever my son eats a pickle, his poop looks like a pickle. Is that abnormal?

Mark ate an M&M that was a few years old. Need advice ASAP.

Sydney’s pacifier fell out of her mouth while we were shopping at Walmart. I accidentally put it back in her mouth without washing it. What should I watch for?

I’m worried that my son’s weightlifting could stunt his growth. He is six-foot-two, but he could be six-foot-four.

My five-year-old is getting re-circumcised on Friday. How should I tell him?

Rachel was in the office yesterday for a viral illness, and today she can’t stop burping.

Michelle would like her own apartment with a kitchen in college. The only way she can get it is if a doctor writes a note saying that school food makes her sick. Could you?

My son’s testicles disappeared.

Jessica has pain in her leg. Can she still go to the dentist?

My son has had belly pain for three days. Can we have a note to get him out of traffic court?

(A call that was received at 4:45 A.M. ) My two-month-old daughter didn’t sleep well during the day. Now she has been sleeping for seven hours. What should we do?

I would like to discuss our potential babysitter’s qualifications.

When my son Bart watches TV, he tilts his head to the side. Is there something wrong with him?

I think my son stuck a button up his nose three months ago. We never found it, but now he keeps picking his nose.

My son has a 104˚F fever, but I want to send him to school to keep his mind off his illness. What do you think?

Can my three-week-old go to Atlantic City for the weekend? (I told them yes, but no Blackjack.)

My son bit another boy. The school nurse said that he needs to see the doctor. Isn’t it usually the child who gets bitten who needs to be seen?

My son keeps complaining his penis is hard.

My husband wants to buy a Porsche. I’m concerned about the risk of whiplash for our son. Please call.

(Apparently, the mother was trying to use this as leverage to talk her husband out of buying a sports car.)

Can my six-year-old run a five-kilometer race with me?

My thirteen-year-old daughter is very emotional.

My baby fell out of her crib last night. Now I’m at Sleepy’s shopping for a toddler bed. Which one should I get?

Allen started sleeping through the night. Now he’s missing two feedings.

I would like to discuss my daughter’s parent-teacher conference with you.

Sometimes my son’s stool looks like a baked potato.