When Parents Worry (7 page)

One of my twins swallowed a penny, but I’m not sure which one it was.

My child is very starchy.

My child has a white head on his penis.

My three-year-old was eating ice cream, and he bit off and swallowed part of the plastic spoon. What should I do?

My daughter has a 101˚F fever. It goes down with Motrin. She’s supposed to march tomorrow in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. What should I do?

I am concerned that some of my son’s sickness is a ploy to stay home from preschool. I’m not sure if he is that smart, but whatever your diagnosis, please tell him that school is important and he needs to go and learn. (He had an ear infection.)

My daughter screams when we get in the car. What should I do?

My son’s penis is weird. It looks like it’s hiding.

My daughter doesn’t like food.

I need a note to change my daughter’s lunch period. It’s too late in the day because she doesn’t eat breakfast.

We called 911 last night because my son had very, very bad constipation. He passed the stool before the ambulance arrived, but we need to discuss it with you.

I am due to have a baby in a few weeks. My sister has diarrhea now. Can she see the baby when it’s born?

I am painting and carpeting our new nursery. Can you please advise us on what to buy?

Can my four-month-old go to see fireworks? Also, he accidentally drank whole milk.

Can my two-week-old go outside?

My daughter ate her brother’s poop.

My daughter was playing in snow. Now her feet are red and tingly.

My son is four years old now. Can we stop using Dreft on his laundry?

My son’s nose is a different color than his face.

My son is going on a play date with someone who has had pneumonia and an ear infection since Wednesday. Is this okay? It’s a very important play date.

My child licked a black marker off the table, and now his whole mouth is black. Can you tell us how to get it off?

How can we tell if our baby is hot or cold?

Can you please tell me the adult dose for liquid Tylenol?

Our three-week-old has been forming little drool mouth bubbles. Is that okay?

We found our two-year-old in the kitchen with an open bottle of beer, but we’re not sure how much she drank. Can you give us a call?

My daughter Ricki has become so independent that if we wipe food off her face after she eats, she has a tantrum unless we put the food back on so she can wipe it off herself. Do we really need to do that?

My son’s socks make a mark on his legs when he wears them. Is that okay?

Now that my daughter has had the chicken pox, can she eat chicken?

My daughter’s nails haven’t grown in the last month. Normally, I would have had to trim them by now. Please give us a call.

Our fifteen-month-old keeps falling when she walks. My friend suggested she has “gravitational insecurity.” What do you think?

So many of our friends’ kids are receiving occupational therapy or physical therapy. My son is very coordinated, but could there be any reason he needs it?

How should I prepare my ten-month-old’s meat?

The thermometer says 98˚F, but I know it’s not right. What should we do?

My eighteen-year-old does not want to get a flu shot. Please text her to tell her she needs it.

My son will eat Beefaroni and nothing else. Is that a problem?

We just bought our daughter a sippy cup. What should we put in it?

We skipped a week of vitamins. What should we do now?

My son stuck a BB pellet in his ear, but the emergency room doctor checked and said it’s not there anymore. Could it have fallen into his brain?

What is the scientific term for boogers?

I have two mothers-in-law (my father-in-law remarried—can you imagine?). One said one thing about feeding, and the other said the opposite. Can you break the tie?

It’s early April, but it’s really warm outside. Can my son start wearing shorts?

My mother told my four-year-old daughter that her belly is big, and now she’s become paranoid about her belly. Please explain to her that it’s a nice belly.