When Parents Worry (8 page)

My son went on a roller coaster and now he’s very pale. Please call when you get a chance.

How long should we wait before we have another child?

Would mosquito netting be effective in preventing the flu?

Michael ate a bologna sandwich that was three days old, but he didn’t vomit. Naturally, we’re concerned. Please call.

My fourteen-month-old has a cold, but we’re due to have another baby this week and don’t want to come in if you’re not going to give us any medication.

My six-month-old has a cold. My Russian mother-in-law suggested I rub vodka on her chest. What do you think?

The area around my daughter’s mouth smells like cauliflower. Please call to advise.

The prescription from the pharmacy said to give the antibiotics for my daughter’s ear infection vaginally. Is that correct?

My daughter Jane mistook some cat feces for a pretzel. What should we do?

My son was playing out in the snow for a long time and now his cheeks are red. Could it be frostbite?

I was dancing with my fifteen-year-old son and he asked to be dipped. Now his neck hurts.

The eye doctor says my daughter passed her eye exam, but she wants glasses because her brother has them. What should I do?

My son had a test for tuberculosis two weeks ago, and now he has diarrhea. Please call to advise.

When I hug my daughter, I hear a humming sound.

My two-year-old shoved a banana up her nose. Is it important to get it out, or will it work its way out eventually?

My child just put a frog on his tongue.

Every time my son pushes on his nose, he vomits up mucus. Please call to advise.

My son has a cold. Which tea would help him get better faster: fennel or chamomile?

My daughter Joan failed her eye exam at the ophthalmologist. I want a second opinion.

My nine-month-old laughs hysterically sometimes. Please call.

My daughter has a cold sore in her mouth and numbness of the second toe on her left foot.

We have a few questions for you regarding our five-month-old because we haven’t seen you in a few weeks. Can we take him to Vegas?

I dropped off my son’s urine sample in a Tupperware container. Can you please give it back when you’re done?

My son’s scrotum got caught in a spring-loaded keychain. What do we do now?

My two-month-old is drooling a lot. Do you think she’s imitating our dog?

Dr. Oz said my son’s poop should be soft and shaped like a question mark, but it’s actually kind of hard and looks like a semicolon. Any thoughts?

My child’s diarrhea is a weird shade of green. Can I email you a picture?

Should our four-year-old have an iPad?

You said I should give my son mineral oil for his constipation. I found an old bottle of it around the house that I used to use on the furniture. Can I use that?

My daughter Erin is eight weeks old. My husband started vomiting yesterday. I think he has stomach flu. Do you think he should move out of the house until he’s better, or should we move out?

My son wore thrift-shop pants yesterday, and now he has an itchy rash on his legs. Do you think it’s related?

Is it okay for Danny to join a soccer team? There’s a lot of bouncing the ball on your head.

It’s too ugly outside for me to go out and buy my daughter cold medicine. Can we give her chicken soup instead?

My child ate stickers and coughed some out. Help!