When the Music Ends (The Winter Rose Chronicles) (16 page)

            He
remembered that night, how eager she had been, how tenderly they had made love.
She had given him everything she had, without reservation, even though she had
not expected him to love her back, to keep loving her. She thought that highly
of him. His remaining doubts about whether his love would ultimately satisfy
her were instantly obliterated. "Oh, Erin, sweet baby. I’m sorry. I
should have listened to you."

            "Yes,
you should have, she scolded gently, "But it was as much my fault. I
didn’t trust that you would want me long term and it kind of became a
self fulfilling prophecy. That’s why I didn’t fight for you. I
didn’t think I was good enough to hold you anyway."

            "I
always felt that you were too good for me, or at least for the kind of life we
would have together."

            She
tilted her head, considering how to phrase what she wanted to say. "It’s
sort of an issue of trust, isn’t it?"

            "What
do you mean?"

            She
elaborated. "I have to trust that you want me even though I don’t
see myself as that desirable. You say you love me, that it won’t change
or fade. I have to choose to believe it. You have to trust me too, that I love
you as much as I love my oboe, and that being with you is really what I want,
more than being a high-powered musician."

"Are you sure, Erin, that a small town life with me would be
enough for you?" He still sounded so tentative. How had they loved each
other so intensely without her realizing this? She had to reassure him

"Yes, absolutely. Are you willing to trust me on this?"

He looked at her, his eyes filled with longing, and then he nodded
slowly.

"Sean, I’ve been away for three years. I want to go
home. Will you be my home?"

She could see that he liked that. The worried look melted from his
face, and his lips pulled back into a smile, revealing those crooked front
teeth she’d always found so appealing.

"If that’s what you want, baby."

            "It
is." Her voice was calm and certain, without a hint of doubt.

            "So
we’re back together then, just like that?"

            "Just
like that. It was always meant to be, I think. I know I haven’t felt
right for one single day, since then."

            "Me
either," he said thoughtfully, "but you still have another semester
of school. You need to finish it."

            "I
will. I have to, but what are we going to do? How will we handle it?"

            "Do,
Erin?" Sean’s voice was suddenly very dark with passion. "I
have an idea about what we should do. Shall I tell you what it is?"

            "Yes."

            "First,
I’m going to take you to my hotel room right now and make love to you in
ways you can’t even imagine, all night long, and hold you until
morning."

            "Yes,
please." That put a little smile on her face.

            "Then,
tomorrow, when the stores open, I’m going to take you to a jeweler and
you can pick out a ring. I’ll put it on your finger so everyone knows for
the rest of your time here, that you’re mine. And then, this summer,
baby, we’re getting married."

            Erin shivered. "Sounds perfect. Let’s get started right now."

            "Come
on." He took her hand and led her to his car, driving quickly through the
busy city traffic to a small and unassuming hotel near the interstate. It was
clean and respectable, but certainly not fancy.

            Sean
opened the room impatiently with his key card, and pulled Erin through the
door, kissing her before he could even get it closed. She worked the buttons on
his shirt eagerly, pushing it to the geometric patterned carpet. Sean released Erin’s mouth to pull her sweater over her head. She unhooked her bra and dropped it
before throwing her arms around his neck again. Her breasts were soft against
his chest. He liked her new curves very much and took one globe in his hand,
caressing it tenderly, teasing the sensitive little nipple.

            Erin gasped as pleasure shot through her. She had always loved to have Sean touch her
breasts. Even better would be if he took her nipples in his mouth. She cupped
the little globe in her hand and raised it, pulling Sean’s head down so
he could take the tender peak. He did, sucking it into his mouth and licking,
nipping gently. Erin could feel herself going all liquid as he repeated the
process on the other side.

            "Let’s
get on the bed," he murmured, "but leave your clothes behind. You
won’t need them."

            Erin stripped off her jeans and panties eagerly and pulled back the white cotton coverlet,
stretching herself out on the sheets. Sean was on her in an instant, nude,
pressing his body hard against hers, letting her feel the strength of his
muscles, the size of his erection. He took her jaw in his hand and pressed his
mouth to hers again. She wrapped her legs around his waist.

            It
was too soon, but they were both destroyed by passion, and Sean took the
invitation thoughtlessly, finding her wet entrance with his sex and thrusting deep.

            Erin made a soft protesting sound.

            "What’s
wrong, baby?"

            "You’re
too big." She gritted through clenched teeth.

            "Did
that hurt?"

            "Yes."

            "Little
girl, have you forgotten how to take me?" he asked in mock reproof.

            "I
guess I did."

            "You’re
so tight. I can’t imagine. It’s like your first time all over
again."

            "Well
I haven’t had sex in almost three years."

            "Three
years?"

            "My
one and only, remember?"

            He
had not dared to hope that she had been chaste all that time. He would have
wanted her regardless, but to know that she was still his, all his, well that
was magnificent.

            He
didn’t want to hurt her however, so he stayed very still inside her,
giving her resisting body a chance to adjust to his size. Meanwhile he aroused
her with passionate kisses, caressing her breasts again to please her before
working his way across her belly to her intimate folds. She was so wet for him.
He found the delicate point of her clitoris, swollen with need, and began to
stroke it gently. Once she came, she should be more relaxed, better able to let
him move.

            Erin moaned as Sean brought her higher and higher. She was so full of him, not just his sex
in her body, but full of love, overflowing with it. She had let go of this
dream, and miraculously it had just come true anyway. And the pleasure built to
an explosion, making her scream, making her body tighten even more around his.

            Sean
began to move, carefully but insistently, a gentle glide, so arousing inside
that wet, tight, wonderfully familiar sex. It didn’t take him long before
he joined her in oblivion.

            When
they surfaced from the deep beautiful place their passion had thrown them, both
Sean and Erin were a little stunned. Sean withdrew gently from Erin’s body and lay down beside her, pulling her close, cradling her head on his
shoulder.

            "I
love you, Sean," she told him softly, trailing ticklish lines across his
chest with her fingertip, "I’m so glad we found each other. Why
were you here?"

            "Danny
asked me to visit. I didn’t realize she was trying to set us up again. I
got a little mad at her."

            "I
know. She talks about you all the time. It was driving me crazy."

            "Me
too. She was right though."

            "She
usually is."

            "Erin, how is she doing, really? She says she’s better, but you see her every day. Is
she really doing all right?"

            "She
is, thankfully. I don’t think I could have handled another year like that
first one."

            "What
was it like?"

            "Freshman
year? Oh, she was a mess. It was all I could do to get her to go to class, to
do her homework, to study. She used to have nightmares, wake up screaming,
break down crying at odd moments. I didn’t want anyone to know how
destroyed she was, but it was really difficult."

            "Wow.
Poor Erin, and all without any help." He cupped her cheek in his hand. "How
did you manage?"

            "Well,
I just did my best. You know? I felt like, other freshmen were handling college
without needing to rely on anyone, but part of me wanted to call you all the
time. Like, I had to audition for the freshman woodwind ensemble. It’s a
very elite group. Only one musician per instrument gets in. I was really
nervous, and I just wanted to hear your voice, hear you tell me it would be
okay, and then, after I made it, I wanted to call you again and tell you how
happy I was."

            "Erin, you could have done that. That’s what people do when they love each
other."

            "It
just seemed so mundane, like such a bother. Later, after you stopped calling
me, I felt like I had pestered you too much. I was too dependant on you, and
you were sick of it." A little of that low self-esteem that had plagued
her through her whole life bled into the words. His arm tightened around her
for a moment.

            "No,
that isn’t what happened. I was so worried about holding you back that I
forgot how much strain you were under. Erin, I bet you none of those other
freshmen went a single week without calling their parents at least three times
to tell them how everything was going. That’s normal. I called my dad
just about every day for a while. You were doing more than any of them. How did
you stay sane?"

            "I
practiced a lot. In fact, there really wasn’t time for anything else. I
practiced, and studied and took care of Sheridan. That was it. If she
hadn’t started to heal, I think I might have cracked under it."

            "So
what happened? She was pretty bad over that first summer. You didn’t come
home then. Where were you?"

            "I
took classes and then I traveled around for summer music series in different
towns, starting in Des Moines."

            That
was interesting. "You did?"

            "Yes.
There are lots of playing jobs for young musicians in the summer. I’ve
been to the Ozarks, Omaha, New Mexico, Bismark, and Moorehead. Oh, and I
finally got to Texas too. I played a two week opera run in Fort Worth."

"Did you like it?"

She made a face. He could feel the movement of it against his chest.
"I liked the music, but the other musicians were often … difficult.
Unkind, competitive, and just kind of snarky. They were usually okay to us. We
were just kids and no threat, but to each other… it got brutal pretty
often." She shook her head. "I don’t know how they can be a
team and make music together when they’re always cutting each other down.
It made me miss that little symphony even more. The people there are so
nice."

"So you’ve played all over, have you?"

"Yes."

"And what about during the year?"

"Well I play with the university orchestra, but the symphony
doesn’t need any oboes right now."

"Their loss."

"Thank you." She kissed him gently where his shoulder
met his neck. "Wait, I think we got off topic."

"We did. I was wondering how it was that Danny suddenly got so
much better."

            "Believe
it or not, she met someone."

            "She
did? That’s surprising. Who?"

            Erin shook her head a little. "Her English professor, Dr. Burke. To this day, I
don’t understand what she sees in him. I had a class with him and I
dropped it. He must be the harshest, strictest, pickiest man in the whole
academic world. I hated his class. Somehow, though, working with him brought Sheridan back to life. Since the beginning of sophomore year, she has taken a class with
him every semester. She’s in love with him. And the more she relies on
him, the less she needs from me. It was kind of a relief."

            "Wait,
I think I saw him. Is he really tall with black hair?"

            "Yes.
Did his clothes look like they came out of the rag bag?"

            "Uh
huh."

            "That’s
the one."

            "I
wondered if there was something going on there. The way he looked at
her…protective, and even a little possessive. Are
they…involved?" Oddly, for being an overprotective big brother,
Sean sounded curious and not in the least disapproving.

            "I
don’t exactly know. They have the strangest relationship. He does these
crazy romantic things for her, and I know what you mean about the way he looks
at her. They spend huge amounts of time together, but as far as I know,
they’re not actually dating. I’m pretty sure he wants her, but he
won’t make a move, and she’s still too shy, too hurt, to approach
him. It’s like the love affair of two porcupines."