When You Least Expect It (29 page)

             
She was still not used to Ray telling her he loved her.  It always stunned her.  “Goodnight, Ray.”

             
After hanging up, Amanda thought long into the night about Ray and his supposed love for her.  Why would he feel love for her when he didn’t even know her?  What exactly did she feel for him?  She knew it was something, but would feel ridiculous admitting it was love.  But, if not love, then what?  She supposed that one day she would figure it out.                            

Chapter 21

The holidays were just around the corner, starting with Thanksgiving.  The girls were over for the weekend and were discussing the who what and where’s of it.

             
“Dad, I want to make a big ass ham.  I think I can do it.  It seems simple enough.  We can invite Grandma and have it here.” 

             
“Really Norma? You think you can pull it off?”

             
“Sure, why not?  Nikki can make some sides, and so can Glenda, and Grandma can bring something.  It’ll be a little crowded here, but I think it would make your first Thanksgiving in your new place a nice one.”

             
Ray fought back the lump forming in his throat.  “Ok…one big ass ham it is!” 

             
The doorbell rang; the pizza they’d ordered had arrived.

             
Nikki opened the door and paid the delivery boy.  “Pizza is here! Let’s pop in the movie and eat!”

             
As Ray set the table with the fine china, paper plates, he gave a prayer of thanks for his girls.  They seemed to be handling the entire mess pretty well, and were more concerned about how he was handling things.  They were amazing; he and Carrie must have done something right.

             
After the pizza was gone, and the movies were over; Ray pulled out the sleeper bed from the couch so the girls could go to bed.

             
“Good night girls.  I’m glad you are here this weekend.  It’s been fun.  Maybe tomorrow we can go mini-golfing.”

             
“That sound like fun. ‘Night, Dad!” 

             
Ray stood over them for a second, just looking.  They were so grown up now, where had the time gone? 

             
He went into his bedroom and got ready for bed.  He wanted to call Amanda, but didn’t want to take the chance of them overhearing.  He lay there and wondered what she was up to this Saturday night.  He knew she wasn’t into dating yet, and this brought a frown to his brow.  When would she be?  He tossed in his bed trying to erase this thought from his mind.  He was a couple of thousand miles away and knew he wouldn’t he be able to stop it.  He knew in his heart that he could never ask it of her, not now anyway.

~~~

              Amanda and Hilary were out shopping.  They had forgiven each other the Ray fiasco, and Hilary had promised not to be so judgmental.  They could resume their sister relationship and both were ecstatic about it.

             
They stopped at the food court to share some curly fries and Hilary decided to break the ice a bit.  “Now that Ray is on his own, do you think about a relationship with him?”

Amanda, still a little wary, said no.

              “Well, this has been going on for quite a while, and now he’s on his own.  What would it hurt to go meet him?”

             
Amanda gasped at this.  “It would hurt because he’s been on his own for, oh, two weeks?  He’s not ready for that Hil, and frankly neither am I.  What kind of relationship could we have with him so far away?  His kids are there, mine are here, it’s just not plausible.  I like talking to him.  He’s funny, he’s smart, and we have great conversations.  Something I’ve never really had in the past. It’s different, that’s all.”

             
The two sisters chatted amicably and were having a good time when the subject went back to Ray.  This time Amanda brought him up.

             
“Ray’s birthday is this month.  I was thinking of buying him a present.  Do you think that’s too forward?”

             
“Well not if it’s in friendship, Mandy.”  She smiled slyly at her sister. 

             
Amanda blushed.  “Ok, I stuck my foot in that, but I thought it would be a nice gesture because he’s away from home for the first time.”

             
Hilary laughed.  “He’s not away at camp!  I think it would be great.  Let’s go look for something.  Do you know his size?”

             
Amanda decided with the information he had given her, she’d be able to guess.  “Six feet tall and about one eighty, sounds like a Large to me!”

             
Off went the sisters in search of the perfect ‘friend’ gift.

             
“What about a nice sweatshirt?  After all, it’s cold up there in Maine.” 

             
Amanda loved this idea.  Unfortunately, she had no idea what he’d like. She finally found the perfect one!  It said, ‘Don’t mess with Texas’ with a Texas star on it.  “What do you think about this one?  Then it would remind him of me.  You know, his friend.”  She blushed.

             
Hilary had to admit this side of Amanda’s little Internet relationship was cute.  She was taking it so slow, how could it be harmful?  “I think he’d love it.  Would anyone wonder why he had a Texas sweatshirt?”

             
Amanda hadn’t thought about this.   “Well, if Ray thinks so, he won’t wear it.  It would be great just to wear around the house on those cold Maine nights, don’t you think?”

             
“I think it’s perfect, Mandy.  Buy it!”

             
Amanda was thrilled with this purchase.  She went and got a birthday card-a funny one-and some cute wrapping paper.  She was not immune to the fact that this might make their ‘relationship’ more real.  After all, right now, it was all voice and words; this was something he could touch.  She shared her hesitations with Hilary.

             
Hilary didn’t agree at all.  “There’s nothing wrong with this.  It’s a cute little gift showing him that someone he likes is thinking of him on his birthday.  You want to be his friend, and this will be a nice pick me up for him.  What do you have to lose?”

             
“You’re right.  It’s just a sweatshirt.  This will be great!” 

             
In the car, reality struck.  “Oh no!  I don’t have his address!”

             
Hilary laughed.  “You talk to him almost every day.  Ask him for it.”

             
Embarrassed, she knew she was making too big of a deal of this.  “I’m like a nervous teenager, huh?”

             
“Yes, you are! It’s cute though, Mandy.  I haven’t seen you act like this in a while.”

             
For about the hundredth time in so many days, Amanda wondered why she was.

~~~

             
Ray dropped the girl’s off at home without incident.  Carrie had not talked to him at all since the day the he had served her.  He knew it was better this way, more peaceful. 

             
He hated to admit it, but he couldn’t wait to get home and call Amanda.  He had taken the girls out to play mini-golf as promised, but the whole time he had thought about her.  He was so distracted! 

             
When he got home, he put on some music and picked up the phone. 

             
A male’s voice answered the phone.  “Hello?”

             
Ray hesitated for a second.  Who could this be?  “Is Amanda there?”

             
“Who’s this?” 

             
Ray was getting uncomfortable.  This voice sounded possessive.

             
“Ray.”

             
“I’ll get her.  MOM!”

             
Ray laughed at himself.  It was Alex.  Of course, he sounded possessive; he was a strange man calling his mother.  He heard him telling his mom it was ‘some guy named Ray’.

             
“Hi Ray.”

             
“Hi there.  Wow, your son sounds old!”

             
Amanda laughed.  “Oh, were you worried he was my boyfriend?”

             
Ray laughed with her.  “I think I’ll plead the fifth on that.  How are you?  I’ve been thinking about you all weekend.”

             
Amanda smiled.  Why did she react like that?  “Really?  You’ve popped into my mind a time or two, too.”

             
Ray beamed.  “Good stuff, I hope.”

             
“Actually I was wondering what your address is.  You know mine; it seems only fair I should know yours.”

             
Without even a second’s hesitation, Ray rattled it off.

             
“Thanks.”

             
“Any particular reason why?”  Ray’s curiosity got the best of him.

             
“No.” She replied coyly. 

             
“Fair enough.  Now tell me every minute of your weekend.”  The two talked about everything that had happened, enjoying every minute of each other’s company.  They were getting to know each other more and more every day.

             
Two hours later, Ray settled himself in bed, exhausted, but happy.  Amanda made him feel so good.  She made him feel like no one ever had; as if he could just be himself.  He loved the way she laughed, the way she let him finish his stories, always interjecting in just the right places.  She always asked so many questions, it exhausted him because he wasn’t used to it.  He always answered as honestly as he could.  She never judged.  She never condemned.  She just let him talk.  No one had ever let him do that.  It was intoxicating, addicting; he couldn’t get enough.  He drifted off to sleep, knowing she would join him in his dreams.

             
~~~

             
Amanda flicked the channels of her television, not really watching anything.  She was thinking about Ray.  Not about Ray per se, but about how she felt about him.  He seemed to be always on her mind.  What she liked most about him was how he could make her laugh.  He had such a quick wit about him.  He could always make her feel happy.  After talking to him, she felt as if she were glowing.  She laughed at this analogy.  Why would she be glowing?  She shook her head.  She knew the answer to this question.  She was falling in love.  As much as she had tried to avoid this, it seemed to be happening to her again.  Only this time, it felt different.  It felt right.  Just like she always imagined it should be, but never had for her. 

             
Amanda flicked off the TV.  That was ridiculous! Why was she thinking that? This is how she always got herself into these bizarre relationships. This was her typical M-O. She alluded herself into believing the person she was falling for; that wrong man, was the right man.  This man, the one who lived in Maine, the one who was only days separated after a twenty year marriage, the one she met on the Internet, was not the right man.  Hilary, Blossom and every other person she had told this twisted story to was right.  She needed to get a life. 

Chapter 22

Amanda had been feeling melancholy tonight and had cut her phone call to Ray short. She didn’t really feel like chitchat, and was still feeling unsettled about him. She had felt if he had asked her just one more time what was wrong she would implode. 

              After finding nothing on the tube, and lacking a good trashy novel to read, she turned on the web.  She had been pleasantly surprised to find Hawaiianlover surfing the web as well.

             
“Hey Lady, long time no see. Where’ve you been?”

             
“
Here, and nowhere, Lover…just hanging around; what’s new with you?”

             
“Well, I’ve been dating up a storm!  I’ve been living it up with some very nice gentlemen; Dinners and dancing, mostly.  It’s given me a chance to get out of the house and off this thing.”
  Hawaiianlover was referring to the computer.  Sometimes, they both felt that the Internet was habit forming, and had discussed it in the past.

             
“
Where are you finding all these dates?  I want to know where a woman our age goes
.”  Amanda wasn’t interested in dating, but she had been wondering about this for a while.