Where I Found You (13 page)

Maggie clenched her teeth but she had no idea if the smile she painted on her face deceived Judith or not. ‘This is my friend Elsie. Elsie, this is my mother-in-law, Judith.’

‘It’s lovely to meet you,’ Judith said, surprisingly kindly.

‘And you too. Your grandsons have been real gentlemen, putting up with a silly old lady like me,’ she said. ‘And Maggie here is a godsend. You’re lucky to have such a lovely family.’

‘Thank you,’ replied Judith, less convinced than Elsie.

‘I’m new to the area and managed to get myself lost,’ Elsie said by way of an explanation. ‘Have you lived in Sedgefield long, Judith?’

‘Oh, I don’t live here,’ Judith said. ‘My son moved here a couple of years ago and a friend of mine has been here for over thirty years so I should know Sedgefield fairly well – but I’d probably get lost too given half the chance.’

‘Judith’s friend is Kathy. You met her the other day at the salon, do you remember?’ Maggie said then regretted putting Elsie’s failing memory to the test. She waited for Mrs Milton’s response, which was only the vaguest acknowledgement before turning back to Judith. ‘You really didn’t have to come over.’

‘It’s no bother.’ Her tone suggested there wasn’t a choice. ‘What did you have planned for the rest of the day?’

Maggie was about to reply that they were going to have a picnic but Liam interrupted. ‘I want to go back to your house, Nan.’

‘No, Liam,’ Maggie said quickly. ‘I think your dad wanted you to stay with us.’

‘But he’s not here, is he?’

There was a harshness to Liam’s voice that unsettled Maggie. ‘But Liam …’

‘Nana Judith said there’s a bird’s nest in her garden. I want to see the baby chicks,’ Sam added.

‘Oh, why not let them? Ken can bring them back later and I know he’s desperate to see them too.’

‘Yes!’ shouted the boys in unison as if it had already been decided.

Elsie blew her nose and returned her belongings to her bag as she too prepared to leave. Maggie didn’t want to let her wander off on her own. She could hear the gentle lapping of water, a reminder of how close to the lake they were. She tried to weigh up her options, which were narrowing by the second. She should stand firm and say no to Judith, but instead she sat where she was, paralysed by indecision.

‘I’ll leave you to it. Ted will be looking for me,’ Elsie said, hoisting herself to her feet and shocking Maggie into action.

‘Harvey, come,’ she said and stood up too. The decision she was being forced to make broke her heart but she made sure she salvaged at least some self-respect. ‘OK boys, you can go as long as you promise to behave yourselves or you’ll have me to answer to.’

‘We will,’ they chorused.

‘That’s decided then,’ Judith said, barely able to disguise her sense of victory.

Even as she made the arrangements for returning her grandsons later, Judith was gathering them up and all too soon Liam and Sam’s goodbyes were receding into the distance. Harvey whined after them but remained steadfastly by Maggie’s side. Rather than pick up his harness immediately, she reached for Elsie’s arm. ‘We’ll help you home.’

‘I don’t suppose there’s any point in arguing,’ Elsie said but no sooner had they prepared to leave than another problem presented itself. ‘Doesn’t that toy boat belong to you?’

Maggie sighed. ‘I pride myself on doing most things but steering a remote control boat to shore isn’t one of them.’

Elsie took a step towards the lake but Maggie pulled her back instinctively. ‘It doesn’t matter. Leave it.’

The old lady patted Maggie’s hand, which was tightly gripping her arm. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t lead you straight into the water,’ she said but the laughter caught in her throat as she realised that Maggie knew her of old. ‘I was inconsolable back then. Would it be so bad if I had the courage of my convictions sixty years on? Wouldn’t that bring an end to all of this suffering?’ She sighed in resignation. ‘Oh, don’t look at me like that and don’t worry! The lake isn’t that deep anyway.’

Maggie was about to ask how she knew but Elsie was determined to move forwards, not return to the past. ‘Come on, let’s have a go at getting this boat back.’

The toy boat was a pleasant distraction and the two women were soon laughing as they struggled to retrieve it. Maggie did her best to show Elsie how to use the remote control but she had to confess that she was a complete novice too. The boat seemed to head further away the more they tried to turn it around.

‘Would you like me to help?’

The voice was deep and although it wasn’t familiar to Maggie, the distinctive Liverpool accent meant an introduction wasn’t exactly necessary.

‘This is my husband … Teddie,’ Elsie said.

‘Ted,’ he corrected and then set about piloting the boat to shore. When he handed it to Maggie he was unable to hide his disbelief. ‘Is it yours?’

Maggie realised how it must look and the same thought crossed Elsie’s mind too. They collapsed into a fit of girlish giggles again. ‘It belongs to my stepsons but they’ve rushed off and left it behind,’ Maggie explained once she could draw breath.

Ted hadn’t shared the joke. ‘Kids are far too spoilt these days,’ he said flatly.

‘I was about to walk Elsie home but now you’re here, would you like to share a picnic with me? It’ll go to waste otherwise.’

‘Elsie spends too much time here as it is. Thank you, but we have our own lunch waiting at home which is where we’d be now if she hadn’t done another disappearing act.’

Maggie found herself wondering how this man measured up to the hero Elsa had been waiting for. ‘That’s a shame, maybe another time,’ she said.

‘Not in the park,’ he said quickly. ‘If it was up to me, I’d have the gates chained up. We were out shopping on the High Street. I turned my back for two seconds and she was gone. You shouldn’t come in here, Elsie,’ Ted said, turning to his wife.

Maggie knew he was right. Elsie’s illness had resurrected painful times and the old lady had already let slip how she would lay Elsa’s ghost to rest but Maggie now believed there was another way. She had a growing conviction that if they could spend enough time sitting together on the bench and unravelling the secrets of 1953 then Elsie might be able to let go of the past before her illness took everything else. ‘Your wife has an affinity to this spot by the lake,’ she said.

‘We came to Sedgefield because I thought she would settle,’ Ted answered. ‘She hasn’t. Now come on, Elsie, the sooner I get you back home the better.’

Elsie ignored him. ‘Why don’t you come over to ours for lunch one day, Maggie? It’s the least I can do to thank you for all your help. Maybe by that time my husband will remember his manners and stop being such an old grouch.’

Maggie smiled. There had been genuine affection in Elsie’s voice despite her harsh words to her husband. ‘Only if Harvey can come too,’ she said.

‘Oh, he would be our honoured guest. Wouldn’t he, Ted? What about Monday?’ she suggested.

‘You have an appointment on Monday,’ Ted reminded her.

‘Ah, so I do,’ Elsie said. ‘Typical. I make an appointment to see the doctor about my memory and then I go and forget it. Can we make it Tuesday?’

‘I’m at the salon in the morning so I could call around straight afterwards, say about one o’clock?’

Maggie used her phone to store the Miltons’ address and phone number, its automated voice repeating the buttons as she pressed them.

‘I could do with one of those for myself,’ Ted marvelled. ‘I can’t see past my nose some days.’

With the arrangements made, and in the knowledge that Elsie was in safe hands, Maggie began to relax as she set off for home with Harvey but her sense of achievement didn’t last. She had helped Elsie but at what cost? She had no idea how the events at the park had affected the boys or how she was going to justify to James why she had handed them over to Judith. The only thing she was sure of was that the day was going to end as badly as it had begun.

9

Maggie was standing in the hallway facing the front door as she listened to the sound of James’s car pulling into the drive. Her restless fingers explored the smooth contours of the wooden balustrade at the foot of the stairs as she waited. She hadn’t phoned to forewarn James. News that his mum had taken the boys with Maggie’s apparent blessing would have been a distraction, she had told herself. He needed to be left in peace to finish what he was doing if they were to stand any chance of salvaging the rest of the week.

It was only when James was stepping over the threshold that Maggie blurted out her confession. ‘Your mum turned up today and she’s taken the boys back home with her.’

‘What? You just let her take them?’

The accusation stung but it was deserved. ‘We were in the park. I’d taken them to play with the boat and then … and then …’ Maggie’s words caught in her throat.

‘Hey, it’s OK,’ James added quickly. ‘I’m surprised, that’s all.’

She allowed him to wrap her in his arms even though she knew she didn’t deserve his sympathy. He didn’t know the full story yet. The smell of dust and sweat tickled her nostrils as she inhaled one last breath to steel herself. ‘We met Elsa by the lake,’ she began.

James pulled away slightly. ‘I thought she didn’t exist?’

‘Yes, of course – I mean
Elsie
,’ she said. ‘But she was confused again and worse than before. She was really upset.’

‘And the kids? They were still with you at that point?’

Maggie bit her lip. She felt like a child herself and fought the impulse to run away. ‘Yes.’

‘Why do I get the feeling you’re going to tell me that’s when Mum turned up? Was that why she took the boys away?’

For the first time in a long time, Maggie couldn’t read James’s voice. It was devoid of emotion as if he hadn’t quite decided how he should be feeling.

‘Elsie was sobbing, James. She was on her own and I couldn’t leave her.’

‘You weren’t on your own, though. You were in charge of a seven- and nine-year-old.’

‘I was watching over them too. They were playing with the boat and they were lovely; they even helped Elsie collect up some of the things she’d dropped,’ Maggie said. ‘I’m not saying they weren’t scared but I think they were more worried about me than anything.’

‘And I bet Mum loved coming to the rescue.’

‘If I could have split myself into two I would have done. I know the boys needed me but Judith was there by then,’ Maggie said as she tried to defend the indefensible.

‘And doesn’t this Elsie have family of her own? Where were they? Why should you be expected to come to the rescue all the time?’

‘Her husband did turn up eventually,’ she said. ‘But I’m not sure about him, James. I can’t help wondering why she would rather jump in the lake than face the prospect of her husband caring for her.’

James wasn’t listening. ‘I don’t want to seem heartless, but we’ve got enough going on in our own lives as it is. This could have been your chance to prove to Mum exactly how capable you are at looking after the boys.’

‘It’s not like I haven’t looked after them before,’ Maggie said but then a spark of anger caught her off-guard. ‘And why do I have to prove myself anyway? What gives her the right to make me feel like I’m auditioning for a role in her family every time I see her?’

‘I’m not even getting into that argument now. The point is we were meant to spend as much time as we could together as a family this week.’

‘Really? So where have you been all day?’ Maggie reminded him.

‘OK, I know. I let them down too,’ James said, ready as always to back down from an argument but the gentleness in his voice was forced. ‘So now all I have to do is prise the kids back from their nan’s clutches. I’ll give her a ring.’

‘Sorry,’ Maggie said, although she wasn’t sure what she was apologising for any more. She wasn’t the only one at fault and she hoped James wouldn’t lose sight of that when he spoke to his mother.

‘I know you want to help this old lady of yours, but you should have put the kids first,’ he said as he moved towards the living room. His footsteps sounded heavy but Maggie thought better than to remind him to take off his boots.

Maggie sat down on the stairs and buried her head in her hands as she listened to James’s conversation with his mum. With each response, his voice grew more and more distant.

‘I suppose,’ he was saying. ‘If that’s what they want.’ A pause, then a sigh. ‘OK, Mum. Tell them to behave. I’ll pick them up first thing tomorrow.’

When James returned to the hall, he was in his stocking feet. He didn’t so much drop his boots onto the shoe rack as he did launch them at it and a waterfall of shoes tumbled to the floor. ‘They’re shattered and ready for bed so I said I’d pick them up tomorrow. And, surprise, surprise, they’ve just got back from the zoo.’

Maggie’s body tensed as she held back her annoyance. ‘We’ll find something else to do with them, something extra special,’ she promised but James wasn’t listening. He swept past her and up the stairs, closing the bathroom door before she had finished the sentence.

Alone, Maggie was forced to accept that she was no match for her mother-in-law and she could almost admire her. Not only had Judith got her own way with the boys but she had demonstrated quite succinctly how Maggie wasn’t up to the job of wife and mother. She certainly had Maggie convinced.

The sense of unease that had settled over the Carter household had been impossible to dispel and Maggie felt no less alone while James was in the house than she did when he left to collect his sons the next morning. She was standing in the hallway, listening to his car speeding off, when another sound caught her attention. It was the creak of iron gates as Victoria Park welcomed in another visitor.

Five minutes later, the gates creaked again when Maggie opened them. Her jacket was thin but warm enough for a spring morning. The rain was a fine mist that didn’t so much fall as float around her, sneaking under her hood and soaking her face and neck. If Harvey was objecting to the damp weather then he was hiding it well and didn’t complain when she stopped at the side of the lake.

The bench was soaking wet but Maggie was too absorbed in what was going on inside her head to react to the cold shock of wet jeans pressing against the back of her legs as she sat down.