Where the Wild Rose Blooms (33 page)

"I think I'm afraid for you to know how I really feel, and I'm afraid that if you look at me too long, I won't have a secret left."

Clayton smiled gently. "You do tend to carry your emotions in your eyes.

Jackie 'had to agree. Her family always knew what she was thinking.

"Did you by any chance have angry words with your father this morning?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did it concern me?"

Jackie nodded miserably. "Danny said she'd work for me, but he said I had to come in. We fought, but then he changed his mind."

"Is it me, specifically, Jackie, or any man?"

Jackie was so stunned by this question that for a moment she sat quietly.

"I never thought about it before, but it
is
all men. I mean, Robert is a wonderful man, but Father had a terrible time when he came. He kept it covered up most of the
time, but we could tell. No, Clay, it's not you. Its Father. I think he sees all men as a threat to our family."

"Well, in some ways they are."

"I don't know what you mean."

Clayton chuckled and tossed the blade of grass he'd been holding. "Robert didn't come here to study the plant life; he came to propose to Eddie. Six months later, she was gone. And now I'm sure your mother must have told your father that I'm here to find out our feelings for each other. The man's not blind, Jackie; he can see the way I look at you."

"And how do you look at me?" The question escaped with no premeditation, but Jackie felt immediately better.

Clayton grew very serious. "It's like the letter you wrote me a long time ago about the wildflowers. For a while looking at them is enough, but then you want to touch. To really experience them, you need to hold them in your hands, smell them, and even rub them on your skin. I love looking at you, Jackie, but your father's a married man. He knows very well that I want to kiss you and hold you. "

Jackie nearly panicked, but managed to speak.

"You've never talked about that in your letters."

"I didn't want to kiss your letters."

Jackie couldn't take her eyes from him. She wanted to; she wanted to busy her hands and mind a thousand miles from here, but she had to look into his eyes.

"I'm surprised you didn't start packing the lunch again." Clay had looked back at her, but now his eyes were smiling.

"I probably should, Clay, or I'm going to be the one to kiss you."

She so shocked him with that statement that his mouth came open. Jackie found this very amusing. Her laughter bounced over the meadow, and her grin was cheeky. The intense moment was broken, and right now it was for the best.

Addy waited until Morgan was finished with his customer and then approached. She wasn't fast enough, however. One of the older ladies in town snagged her, and she was tied up showing her bolt after bolt of fabric until the woman decided to go home and think it over. It seemed like hours before she could break away, but it must not have been. Morgan was leaning against the doorframe of the back room, just watching her. She hesitated in her step but kept on. When she neared, he dropped back into the room itself and over to the window. The act gave them privacy, and the window gave them light.

Looking down at her, Morgan stood in profile to the glass, his arms crossed over his chest. For a moment Addy felt like she was the one he'd fought with. She couldn't quite meet his eye.

"I was furious with Jackie when she told me she'd had words with you."

"I thought you would be angry with me," Morgan admitted quietly.

"I was, but not furious like with Jackie."

"She was right, you know. I was being unreasonable."

'And she was being disrespectful. I won't stand for that."

Morgan nodded but did not comment. It wasn't every man whose wife stood by his side even when he was behaving like a fool.

"I want to understand, Morgan, but I don't," she said suddenly. "Why could you take me thousands of miles away from my family, but not be willing to have anyone do that to your daughters?"

Morgan's gaze shifted out the window. The back of the building looked out over the mountains. It was beautiful beyond description. He honestly couldn't understand why anyone would want to live anywhere else, but he reminded himself that he hadn't seen the rest of Colorado's territory. It could be just as beautiful. In fact, if Eddies letters could be trusted, it certainly was.

"I just take longer to adjust than you do, Addy. I'll get used to the idea of Jackie and Clay. Give me time."

"I'm glad to hear that, Morgan, but you've been simmering with anger since Robert and Eddie left. Why can't you go see them? Go see how happy Eddie is in her home, and maybe you can lay it to rest."

"Go on my own?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, yes. I thought if I suggested we all go, you'd say we couldn't afford it. If you go alone, I'll be here to watch the store."

"I can always close the store," he mumbled. Addy's heart leapt. The hope must have shown in her eyes because Morgan reached for her.

"I'll think about it. All right?"

She nodded against his chest.

"Maybe this fall. All six of us."

Addy looked into his eyes. "Thank you."

"For what? I could still say no."

"I know, but your willingness to work on it makes it so much better."

He kissed her then, a long passionate kiss that dislodged hair pins and turned her face a bright pink. Coming into the back, Danny heard their low voices and moved back out front. Father always whistled the hours away when mother made a visit to the store. Danny decided her mother should come every day.

Clayton leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Jackie's brow. When he moved away she looked into his eyes and admitted, "I've wanted you to do that for the longest time."

Claytons eyes burned into hers, and a moment later, he lowered his head. Jackie back-pedaled as fast as she could go, a hand to his chest as she moved her head back.

"I don't think I meant to say that." Her voice was in a panic.

Clayton didn't push the point, but his eyes were eating up every inch of her face.

"Why can't I kiss you?" he finally managed.

"Because you can't know if you love me in five days' time."

"How much do you want to bet?"

She really wanted to run then, but he caught her and held her by the upper arms.

So much had happened in the last few days. Jackie had worked at the store some, but Clayton was with her even there. They'd talked of everything under the sun, and Clayton had finally come to realize that the only thing he could be feeling for this woman was love.

After the picnic the first day, they'd walked home talking all the way. With the passion of the moment behind them, they were able to discuss the possibility of kissing. Clayton told Jackie before they reached her house that he would not kiss her unless he was certain he loved her. Jackie had thanked him, knowing it was going to be hard, but very grateful for his honor in the situation.

And now they were outside after dinner. It was still quite light, but they could feel evening descending. They had walked around the side of the barn and stood talking. Clayton had surprised Jackie when he turned and kissed her brow, but she enjoyed it.

Now the hands that held her upper arms went around her back. Clayton pulled her into an undemanding embrace, and Jackie laid her head on his shoulder. How long had she dreamed of being held by him? But nothing could have prepared her for the real thing.

Claytons shoulders were broad, and his chest was hard. He didn't press his advantage in any way, but Jackie felt cherished and desired. It was a lovely time for the two of them, interrupted only by his next statement.

"I need to leave in a few days."

Jackie raised her head. "So soon?"

"Yes. I'll miss a little class time as it is."

"When will I see you again?"

Clayton sighed. "I won't be done with school until next spring, and I know your father would never agree to your coming and finding a place to live in Denver now."

"But you will come back?"

"Jackie," Clayton sounded stunned. "If you can doubt that, then I haven't told you how I really feel."

The sun was setting just behind Claytons shoulder now, and he had a perfect view of her face. She looked utterly vulnerable at that moment and he asked God to help him be the husband she needed. He didn't think that now was the time to propose, but he could tell Jackie that he loved her.

"I love you, Jackie, and if you'll have me, I'll return in the spring and show you how much I mean it."

"Oh, Clayton, I've loved you forever."

She
sounded young and ardent, and Claytons heart felt very tender. He did kiss her then, but it was a gentle kiss, a kiss of promise for things to come.

"I've got to discuss this with your parents."

"Yes. I'll go with you."

But when the time came later that evening, Clayton was honest with Jackie and told her he'd rather she wait in the other room. She agreed, but it wasn't easy.

"I haven't asked Jackie to be my wife," Clayton told her parents, "but I have told her that I love her. We plan to continue our letters to each other, and when I do propose, it probably will be by mail. I'd like to come next year for a spring wedding, but it all depends on whether I get work.

"I haven't told you all of this in complete disregard of your wishes, but now that you know what I'd
like
to do, I'd like you to tell me if you think I'll suit. In other words, may I court your daughter, Jackie?"

"Yes, Clay, you may," Morgan answered immediately and surprised Addy into staring at him. "I've already given it great thought. It would please me beyond all reason to see you settle here, but whether or not you do, 1 know Jackie loves you, and I know you'll take care of her."

"Thank you, sir." Clayton was a bit choked up, but he managed the words. Not long afterward he joined Jackie in the kitchen.

"Well, I didn't ask for your hand in marriage, but I did tell them that I hoped it would come to that. The only thing I really requested was to court you."

"What did Father say?"

"Yes."

"Yes? Just like that?"

"He didn't even hesitate."

Jackie threw her arms around him for just an instant, and then they sat at the table, heads close and talking.

"Father's been more gentle in the last few days than I've seen him in a long time."

"Months ago now Eddie told me that she prayed for his salvation every day. I've prayed for him as well, Jackie. I wanted you to know that."

Jackie's face looked troubled. "It's funny you should mention it, Clay. Mother came to my room just two nights ago to kiss me good-night and questioned me for a long time. I must have said something to make her worry about my going to heaven."

"Did you clear things up?"

"I think so, at least /feel all right about it."

"Good. When
did you
come to Christ, Jackie? Were you a child?"

Jackie shrugged. "I've just always been, Clayton. For as long as I can remember."