Where There's Smoke (25 page)

Either way the bet turned out, the potential for disaster was enormous.

A second week passed. Seth tossed his keys on the kitchen table before he dropped to a chair and put his head in his hands. Sandra had asked him to go with her to the lawyer, hadn't filtered her words in front of him. He'd been so blind. How could all those things gone on while he was blissfully oblivious?

Lauren had been right. He'd known nothing of his parents’ marriage, hadn't wanted to know. He wanted to call Lauren right now, tell her everything, but stopped. The bet wasn't what held him back. He wouldn't take her money even if he took the coward's way out. He wanted her. He couldn't be the man she needed. He couldn't do to Lauren what his father did to his mother.

He'd lose her one way or another. Why had she resorted to this ridiculous bet? Was she desperate, or did she have an ulterior motive? Because ever since she made the bet, he hadn't been able to get her out of his head.

He pushed to his feet. The band had a gig at a college bar, and though he had no desire to patter in front of kids, it was good money and good exposure. He'd just avoid those damned love songs.

The place was packed and the crowd enthusiastic. Ordinarily Seth would be pleased, but tonight he couldn't care less. Until he saw the blonde pressing through the crowd toward the bar. His heart did a little skip. Lauren.

His initial joy turned to anger. How could she skew the bet like this? Hadn't she promised she'd stay away from his gigs? And how had she even known about this one? He turned to glare at Rob, who looked puzzled by the hostility.

She must be tired of waiting, but damn it, this was cheating. Seth called a break and pushed through the crowd. He caught her arm just as she took possession of a Shiner Bock. She spun around hissing and spitting and he let her go.

Not Lauren. Not even close. He mumbled an apology and she started to make nice, but he beat a retreat.

Damn Lauren and her stupid bet. He couldn't think of anything else.

Seth looked up from his push-ups when his father entered the exercise room. Oscar's face had healed enough that Valerie hadn't run screaming when he proposed. Too bad only the two of them were happy. Seth went back to his push-ups.

"I wanted you to know I put in for retirement."

Seth stopped again. His father had been in the department twenty-five years, sure, but he was only in his early fifties.

"I think it's better for everyone if I leave the department, and Valerie never really liked being married to a fireman."

Funny how she'd stayed married to one for thirty years and screwed the other for decades as well. “I bet Mitch would've quit if he knew that was what she wanted."

"You know him almost as well as I do. He couldn't have quit, and she wouldn't have wanted him if he did."

Seth lifted a towel to his face, grateful for the moment of reprieve. “So he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. Great choices."

"Seth, I'm coming to you with this because you're my son, my boy. It's important to me that you understand."

"Well, I don't."

"You can't even try? Haven't you ever been in love?"

Seth hesitated. “Once."

"With Valerie's daughter."

Which you ruined, Seth wanted to say. Instead, he said, “Never underestimate the power of Stokes women on Escamilla men."

Oscar chuckled despite the intended slur. “They are something. And a lot alike."

Seth doubted that. He knew Lauren doubted it, too.

"I'm sorry you can't understand. But I needed to think about what would make me happy. No matter what I do, I can't make other people happy, only myself. And I deserve happiness. Can't you understand?"

"It sounds like one hell of a selfish philosophy, if you ask me."

"That's my point. I didn't ask you. I don't have to ask your permission. But I'm telling you I'm retiring and Valerie and I are getting married and moving to Austin.” Oscar stood to leave. “One more piece of advice, father to son. Don't wait till you're in your fifties to find your happiness. If you know what makes you happy now, grab it now, and hold onto it with both hands."

Seth hated taking his father's advice, especially now, after he'd turned everything upside down with the very advice Seth was considering.

He would never love anyone the way he loved Lauren. Any other woman would suffer the same fate as his mother—second choice—and that was fair to no one. Could he marry someone else, love her, wondering what he'd given up with Lauren? Would he remain friends with Lauren just to maintain some kind of contact, even though it would never be the same?

His father was right. Seth needed to grab Lauren and keep her. His family couldn't stand in the way of his happiness. He couldn't make the same mistake his father had.

He had to make up to Lauren for his foolish behavior, and he had to do it subtly. He didn't mind losing the bet, he just didn't want her to be too smug about it.

"Seth, I'm so glad you came by,” Sandra said when he dropped by for lunch to check on her. “There are a few questions I forgot to ask the lawyer and I hoped you could take me back on your next day off."

Seth took a deep breath. He hated saying no to his mother, did it rarely, but now he had to, for her sake as well as his. “I can't."

"Well, maybe next week—” She turned away, probably to hide her shock at his response.

"No, Mom. I love you, but this is none of my business."

She looked over her shoulder at him. “What are you talking about?"

"The divorce. I want to be supportive, but I can't—I can't go to the lawyer with you anymore."

She was silent for a moment, and her eyes reflected her hurt and disappointment. “I can't do this alone."

He softened a bit. “I understand, and I'll be here for you in any way I can. But I don't think we—any of us—should be the ones to go to the lawyer with you. It's—you're our parents.” He spread his hands helplessly. “I just—it feels wrong to hear about your marriage. It seems that that should be something private, you know."

Her shoulders slumped. “Of course you're right. I wasn't thinking about you. I was only thinking about myself. I guess both your parents are selfish."

Well, that made him feel like crap, even though she hadn't meant to. Was he being selfish by refusing to help her out? If he was, it led to his purpose for being here. He took a deep breath. He was going to say the words, make it real. “I've decided to get married."

The rush of emotions over Sandra's face was too fast to catch. Shock, curiosity, sorrow, joy. The last stayed long enough, and she embraced him. “Seth, that's wonderful. I was so afraid after all this, you'd never get married.” Realization struck and she pulled back to look. “That's why you don't want to go with me to the lawyer, and you're right. Of course you shouldn't be hearing that ugliness. I'm so sorry."

Seth took her fluttering hands and leaned forward. “Mom. Don't you want to know who it is?"

He saw in her eyes that she knew, that she didn't want to hear.

"It's Lauren, Mother. I'm going to marry Lauren."

She dropped her head, as if she couldn't look at him another minute. “For years, that was all we wanted. Now it's the last thing I want."

"Why?"

She looked up, eyes filled with tears as her hand fell against the table with a smack. “Looking at her, seeing Valerie, the woman I thought was my best friend who lied to me for thirty years, knowing I'd be related to her. What if you have a child? We'll both be grandmothers to the same poor child. I want you to be happy, Seth, but I can't bear to see you with Lauren."

He had to make her understand. He would marry Lauren in any case, but he didn't want to fragment the family further. “What about us? The girls, Rey and me? What about the grandchildren you have now? Do you not want to see us?"

She frowned. “What? Why?"

"Well, Dad lied to you for thirty years, too. He shares our blood, you're grandparents together. Do we remind you of him? Do you regret the grandchildren you share?"

She waved a dismissive hand. “Of course not. You're all your own people. Oscar gave you to me for I'll always be grateful to him for that. No, you don't remind me of him. I see each of you and just see—you."

"Can't you do the same for Lauren, for me? I've never loved anyone like I love her, and I don't think I will again. I don't—” He took a deep breath, knowing his next words would hurt, but needing to make her see. “I don't want to pass her up and regret it the rest of my life."

Sandra jerked as if he'd punched her. He squeezed her hands but she pulled away. Damn, he hadn't wanted her to withdraw. He had to keep the rest of the family together and here he was driving a wedge right down the middle of it. He'd hoped she would see things his way, but she was still emotional. He could understand that. Maybe in time...

"No, you're right, you're right.” She dabbed her eyes. His mother was a lady, even when she cried. “I've always wanted my children to be happy, and I know Lauren is a good girl, and she's capable of making you happy. I just—” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “It might take me some time to get used to the idea, but I'll do everything I can to make her feel a part of the family."

Seth grinned. “I'm glad you said that. Here's what I want you to do."

She'd lost the bet. The month was up and Lauren got the message loud and clear. Seth didn't want her. She didn't know why she was so hurt. His feelings had been clear before she ever learned about his father and her mother. She'd just thought a month apart would be as hard for him as it had been for her.

She'd bet everything.

Now she had to find a way to pay the debt and save face. She could mail the money, but selfishly, she wanted to look in his eyes when she handed it over, when she ended their lifelong friendship. Conversely, she couldn't face him alone. She considered confronting him at work. Of course, that left room open for public humiliation, but she didn't think she could trust herself to be rational if she was alone with him.

Why hadn't she thought about this ahead of time, when week after week passed with no word from him? Because she'd always harbored the hope that he'd come through at the last minute with a grand gesture, that he'd been waiting till the very last minute to see her sweat.

She had to let go. The month was up. His chance was up. She wouldn't have him now for a million bucks.

"Lauren, this is Sandra."

Lauren took a moment to recover from the shock. She took the phone over near the window, looked out with her arms crossed over her chest. Sandra was calling her, why? And why now? “Hi, um—” She'd never called the older woman by her first name, couldn't do it now. “Um, hi."

"Listen, I want to apologize for how I treated you the last time you were here."

"No, you know, really, I don't blame you.” She couldn't. Her mother had done a damn good job of wiping out hope in the past few months. Lauren didn't even want to be reminded of her.

"Well, you should. I put blame on you that I had no business doing. Seth helped me see that."

Lauren's heart did a little skip at his name. How long would it take before that no longer happened?

"I want to make it up to you,” Sandra went on.

"No, no, there's no need.” She couldn't go to that house with all its happy memories.

"Yes, there is. There's something I want to give you. Please come, or I'll think you don't forgive me."

Such blatant bribery, pure mother guilt. Lauren smiled to herself. “When do you want me?"

Lauren firmly tamped down any hope that Seth would be at the house. She needed to kill that hope. Even seeing the house was painful. Would she ever come back? She couldn't blame her parents for this rift. She was completely responsible for pushing Seth away.

His truck wasn't around. No, she had to remember it was enough to make peace with Sandra. After today, she'd have nothing more to do with the Escamillas. She'd go from having two families to having none.

She was already weepy when she walked to the door. Sandra answered it immediately. She'd probably wondered what was taking Lauren so long to get out of the car. Sandra's smile could have been reluctant apology or embarrassed strain. No joy. Okay, so why had Sandra asked her to come?

"Come in,” Sandra said, not her usual exuberant self. “I made some coffee cake. Would you like some?"

Lauren nodded, not trusting her voice. She'd probably never have Sandra's cooking again.

Sandra almost looked sorry she offered. Maybe she didn't want Lauren to have an excuse to linger. Lauren smelled the cinnamon of the freshly made coffee cake as she walked into the kitchen. Sandra must have made it for her visit, so why did she seem reluctant to share?

"Coffee?” Sandra asked as Lauren sat at the table in awkward silence. They'd always spoken easily before. Sandra had been more of a mother figure to Lauren than Valerie.

"Diet Coke, if you have it."

This time Sandra's smile was genuine. “I always keep some for you. It's been so long since you've been over...” Her voice trailed off.

Sandra set the snack before Lauren and sat beside her. Despite the knot in her throat, Lauren took a tiny bite of cake. She couldn't even savor the cinnamon flavor as she waited for Sandra to speak.

Sandra fiddled with her coffee cup. “I should never have asked you to leave the house."

"I understand why you did."

Surprise colored Sandra's voice. “Really?"

Lauren shrugged and forked off another bite. “You don't need any reminders."

"But you aren't—I realized later that you aren't. I've known you since you were a baby. I should have looked at you as your own person."

Lauren swallowed hard. “I'm sorry she hurt you."

Sandra gave a little laugh and teared up. “Yeah, me too. But that doesn't mean we still can't be close. You're always welcome here."

Lauren smiled, pleased as a little girl as the earlier tension faded away. “You still love me?"

Sandra covered Lauren's hand with both of her own. “Like a daughter."