Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? (13 page)

ARE YOUR EYEBALLS THE SIZE AT BIRTH THAT THEY WILL BE YOUR WHOLE LIFE?

Babies seem to have enormous eyes so it is not surprising that people ask this question. Newborn eyes are about 18 millimeters in diameter. Depending on the source, this is anywhere from two thirds to three quarters of the fully grown adult size. So, no, they are not the adult size at birth.

Most eye growth does occur in the first year of life, however, and by the time you are three, your eye growth is nearly complete.

DO iPODS CAUSE HEARING LOSS?

Hearing experts worry that the increasing popularity of MP3 players may lead to widespread hearing loss. The concern is that with increased sound quality, people are listening to music louder and longer.

Music and loud noise have been known to cause hearing loss for centuries. Noise exposure causes hearing loss by damaging the hair cells in the cochlea of the inner ear. The hair cells transmit sound information to your brain. Hair cells can recover from temporary damage, but loud and frequent noise can permanently damage them. A good way to understand the temporary damage is to compare it to walking on grass. If you walk on a lawn occasionally, you won’t damage it because the grass has a chance to recover. If you trample the grass constantly, it loses its ability to bounce back and becomes permanently damaged. Damage to the hair cells in the ear happens the same way.

The decibel (dB) is the unit used to measure sound levels. The cutoff for acceptable risk for workplace noise is 85dB. The level of negligible risk is considered to be 75dB or below. Many studies have looked at personal stereos and, in general, listening levels tend to be below the 85dB risk cutoff. A study in the April 2005
International Journal of Audiology
looked at noise exposure levels from personal stereo use and determined that the average continuous noise exposure level was 79.8 dB, with a statistically significant difference between males and females, of 80.6 dB and 75.3 dB respectively. Basically, most people stay within a safe range, but it is important to watch the volume, because some personal music players reportedly can produce levels as high as 120dB.

Here are some other estimates of noise levels:

So…the bottom line is that if you are driving an ambulance to the shooting range, you should use ear protection. As for the iPod, we love everything that Apple makes so we hope that they aren’t dangerous. We suggest that you keep the volume low, but even if they find out that iPods cause hearing loss, imagine the cool hearing aids that Steve Jobs will create.

4:35
P.M
.

Gberg:
Give me a call on the home phone so we can talk about the cover.

Leyner:
Maybe.

Leyner:
See you in the future.

Leyner:
And remember one thing:

Leyner:
I didn’t ask to be born.

Gberg:
Don’t leave me this way.

Leyner:
OK…I love you…I’ll never forget the time in Venice when you sang “Afternoon Delight” to me in the gondola right after my bilateral inguinal hernia repair…I’ll never forget your kindness that summer…

Leyner:
OK? Is that better?

Gberg:
Who sang “Afternoon Delight”?

Leyner:
Trini Lopez and Garth Brooks?

Gberg:
I just cheated and went onto iTunes.

Gberg:
They have a Will Ferrell version from
Anchorman.

Leyner:
I’d say buy it…but I know you’re too cheap.

Gberg:
You have hurt my feelings once again.

Gberg:
It’s the Starland Vocal Band by the way.

WHAT ARE THOSE DUST PARTICLES YOU SOMETIMES SEE FLOATING IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES?

In our last book, we called one of Billy’s smartest friends for the composition of eye boogers. This Proust-reading, NPR-listening, Ivy League-educated retina surgeon came up empty, but we decided to give him another chance. This time, not only did we get an answer, but we also got a quote from ol’ Marcel Proust:

“…we feel a veritable fever of yearning for the fallen leaves that can go so far as to keep us awake at night. Into my closed room they had been drifting already for a month, summoned there by my desire to see them, slipping between my thoughts and the object, whatever it might be, upon which I was trying to concentrate them, whirling in front of me like those brown spots that sometimes, whatever we may be looking at, will seem to be dancing or swimming before our eyes.”
—
Remembrance of Things Past: Swann’s Way,
p. 456., trans. C. K. Scott Moncrieff and Terence Kilmartin. Random House.

These floating spots are very common and arise because our eyes are filled with a clear gel, called vitreous humor, which, as time goes by, can partially liquefy to form small condensations, opacities, and debris. These opacities float through the vitreous as the eye moves, casting shadows on the retina (the light-sensing neural tissue lining the back of the eye). We perceive these shadows as “floaters.” In medical speak, they are called vitreous floaters or migratory scotomata. They resemble cobwebs or gnats or even tiny paisleys that slowly drift through the field of vision.

Most of the time floaters are benign, but in rare cases they can signal a serious problem such as retinal tear or detachment. If you are concerned and are in San Francisco, look up Billy’s friend, and you can get a consultation and perhaps a lecture on French literature.

1:25
P.M
.

Gberg:
Leyner. Are you out there?

Gberg:
Hello.

Gberg:
Won’t you light my candle?

Leyner:
What? You buttwad…

1:30
P.M
.

Gberg:
Just got your TV question.

Leyner:
I’m getting great at this!! I’ve finally found my true métier.

Leyner:
Should we put it in puberty?

Gberg:
I think it is great. What about sitting too close and being bad for the eyes.

Leyner:
Good separate question. Let’s keep that one in our bag of tricks…and if we need more later, we’ll take that one on too.

Leyner:
How about this? My mom asked me last night…

Gberg:
Yes.

Leyner:
Why do we see shapes and patterns and colors when we close our eyes?

Leyner:
Interesting, boring??

Leyner:
Can’t decide.

Leyner:
Let’s put that aside too, yes?

Gberg:
We have a question about floaters. That might satisfy Mama’s curiosity.

Leyner:
I love that TV one, though.

Leyner:
OK, let’s stick with the floaters.

Gberg:
Yeah, baby. We are getting there.

Leyner:
I think we’re going to be very proud of this book.

Leyner:
I really think it’s better.

Gberg:
We got another bad Amazon review criticizing the IMs.

Leyner:
I’m going to the gym…I’ll call you on the way and we’ll talk about the IMs…

Gberg:
Make that 2.

1:35
P.M
.

Leyner:
2 about the IMs?

Gberg:
“Disappointing application of an excellent premise” and “Boring and uncouth.”

Gberg:
I think we should dedicate the book to these armchair critics.

1:40
P.M
.

Gberg:
Did I lose you?

Leyner:
I’m back

Leyner:
Stop reading all that shit. THAT will certainly rot your brain.

Leyner:
Are you reassessing the IMing…? Let’s talk about it.

Leyner:
I’ll call you in a few minutes…are you going to sleep soon?

1:45
P.M
.

Gberg:
Call my cell. I am going over to Bar Pitti.

Gberg:
Drown my sorrow in rigatoni and red wine.

Leyner:
OK…I’ll call your cell. Fuck those idiots at Amazon…Why do you read that garbage? Bye.

WHEN WATER IS STUCK IN YOUR EARS, WHERE IS IT? HOW DO YOU GET IT OUT?

People have this strange idea that if water gets in your ear it will somehow find its way to the inside of your skull. The truth is that if your eardrum is intact, the water will remain in your outer ear canal. But, besides being uncomfortable, this water creates an environment where infections can develop.

Swimmer’s ear or otitis externa is an infection of the lining of the external ear canal that begins when water gets stuck in the outer ear. This is different from a regular or middle ear infection, which is an infection behind the eardrum. There also is a condition called surfer’s ear or exostosis of the external auditory canal. Surfer’s ear is caused by repeated exposure to cold water and wind. This cooling of the ear canal causes bone growth that eventually blocks the ear canal.

If your ear is kept dry, it is unlikely to become infected. You can opt for earplugs or rely on the old jump-up-and-down-on-one-leg-and-bang-the-side-of-your-head-with-your-hand-with-your-bad-ear-toward-the-floor trick. Cotton swabs should be avoided because they can push material deep into the canal or scratch the skin, making infection more likely.

Other options include ear-drying drops to evaporate excess water or a hair dryer to dry them out. There even are products like the Sahara Dry Ear rechargeable ear dryer that is specially designed for this purpose.