Without Doubt (16 page)

“
You do? The kind where
you’ll still love me even when I fuck up?” he asks
quietly.

It never even dawned on me that he might not
know exactly how I feel.

“
Yes, just like that,
Declan.”

He bows his head and kisses gently at first
and then more forcefully. His long, lean, muscular body is now
completely covering mine and even though he’s holding himself up,
the pressure of his weight against my body feels amazing. He kisses
down my jaw to my neck, sending shivers down my spine. He sucks
lightly down to my chest and I practically gasp for breath.

He put me into bed wearing nothing last
night and that’s still how I am this morning. He’s been in his
tight black boxer-briefs all morning, but it’s past time for those
babies to come off. I slowly rub the arches of my feet up his legs
to the waistband of the offensive underwear. After I slide both my
index fingers into the front of the band and slid them over to the
indents of his V, where he shivers and takes in a deep breath, I
hook my toes into the sides of the waistband and begin to drag them
down. Declan stops kissing my heavy, aching breasts and looks at me
with wide eyes. My boldness surprised him. Good.

Declan helps me out once I get his briefs
down to his feet by kicking them off and losing them in the
comforter and sheets. I feel his hot, smooth length make contact
with my warm wetness and it makes the flames inside me burn
brighter than ever before. My hips jolt upwards, forcefully pushing
against him and provoking him to release a strangled gasp. Declan’s
beautiful eyes glimmer with desire while we exchange silent words
with each other. His tongue finds my tingling nipple quickly. As
Declan’s warm mouth sucks on my breast, teasing my sensitive
nipple, my lungs take in all the air they can manage before they
feel like they’re ready to burst. I press my head back into the
pillow harshly, arching my back to bring my chest closer to his
warm mouth. He lifts himself up higher so his mouth meets with mine
again and he kisses me so slowly, bringing me back to the present
and triggering my lower belly to coil and tighten even more. He’s
fiddling with something above my head, but I’m too lost to focus
completely. I feel his muscles bunching beneath my palms as I hold
onto his back tightly, my legs wrapped around his with my feet
pressing into the backs of his calves as I continuously lift myself
up off the bed to get the contact my body is craving, begging for.
I pay close attention to the way his minty mouth tastes against my
tongue and the way my body aches when his teeth clutch onto my
bottom lip. I have been wanting this for so long, I definitely
don’t want to get too lost in the moment and forget anything. I
feel him gliding against me, skin on skin at my entrance and I have
nothing but pure desire and yearning for this man. My man.

His eyes meet mine once again and after a
quick kiss he whispers across my lips, “I am so in love with you,
Sunshine. I don’t think I have ever been this happy with my life.
You and Harper mean the world to me. I love you both more than you
could possibly know.”

My body is still reeling, but the man who
owns my heart just took my breath away in a completely different
manner. Tears silently but steadily leak out of my eyes and down my
cheeks. “I love you too,” I say, my voice breathy and raspy.

Declan kisses away my tears as he eases
himself into me. Finally. I take in a sharp breath as my eyes drift
closed and my head slowly lolls to the side. Once Declan is fully
seated inside me he pauses for a minute, both of us reveling in the
feeling of one another before he gently grips my chin to guide my
face back to his. He kisses my parted lips, his tongue slipping
inside briefly.

“
Look at me, Sunshine.
I’ve waited too fucking long for this for you not to be right here
with me.”

What was just
crazy-lustful-intense-get-inside-me-now pre-sex has definitely
switched up on me. Declan changed the tempo and we’re now in a mode
of I-can’t-live-without-you-ever-again
crazy-beautiful-don’t-let-go-don’t-look-away kind of lovemaking. I
am so overwhelmed with different emotions and feelings. To hear the
man you love say that he loves your daughter as much as he loves
you…it’s indescribable. The motion of Declan moving above me and in
me is pure bliss. I don’t have a headache or an aching body
anymore; my body is in its personal paradise and quite frankly, I
don’t ever want to leave.

* * * * * *

We didn’t make it down to the little crepe
shop I had originally wanted breakfast from. Instead, Declan
ordered a whole slew of items from room service. We stayed in bed,
ate, talked and had lots of sex. Let’s face it, we had some
catching up to do while taking advantage of the alone time also.
Who knows when the next time is that we’ll get some of that.

I learned a lot about Declan during our time
in bed. One thing being that Declan James is a complete and utter
clean freak. I knew he liked things neat and organized, but he’s
borderline over the top, possibly OCD, in my opinion. I seriously
think he may need some therapy. We’re in a hotel and he wipes out
the water droplets left behind in the sink after washing his hands
and even after I wash mine. I find this hilarious. I brush my teeth
after our brunch and he’s standing there in his boxer briefs
watching me and talking about Harper’s daycare.

“
I was just thinking that
if she starts the preschool program after summer, then maybe we can
look into schools closer to my place,” he suggests calmly, as
though he’s not infiltrating himself completely into our
lives.

I swish out my mouth, shut off the tap and
wipe my face and hands. “I don’t see how that makes any sense.” I’m
not trying to argue with him, but I don’t get why he thinks that
would be okay if it’s completely out of the way from my school and
apartment. I place the towel so it’s draped over the front of the
sink basin and the counter and reach up to brush out my hair.

Declan sneaks a sly hand in to grab the
towel and wipe out the sink and faucet. He gingerly folds the hand
towel and places it next to the sink as he talks to me. “Well, I’ve
been thinking about that, too. We should talk about you girls
moving in with me.”

I know I should be having
an intelligent and mature conversation with him about this, but I
can’t. Not right now while he’s completely oblivious to the fact
that he just cleaned up after me; that he just
dried
the hotel sink. My hair falls
across my face and I double over in laughter. When I can stand up
straight, I see an amused smirk on his face and his eyebrow raised.
His arms are folded over his muscled chest and he’s simply waiting
for me to pull it together.

“
You don’t even realize
what you just did do you?” I ask him, calming myself
down.

“
What?” he replies,
thoroughly confused.

“
Declan, you just dried
the sink and refolded the towel I just set down. I’m pretty sure if
you had a handheld vacuum, you would have searched for crumbs in
the bed! You’re crazy! We’re on vacation, relax a little
bit.”

“
First of all, you left
your toothpaste spit in the sink along with strands of your hair.
It’s gross. As far as the bed goes, you are the messiest eater I
have ever known. I was being nice not saying anything but since
you’re going to be an ass about my cleanliness, I’ll be one about
your messiness.” He’s smiling my smile, the smile that’s reserved
for me and I love it. I love him.

“
I’ll try to be cleaner
and eat nicer.” I smirk, turning to wrap my arms around his neck
and press my nakedness against him.

“
I like you dirty.” He
winks and slaps my backside, leaving me in the bathroom and walking
out to get dressed. “Macie’s going to be here soon so you girls can
go down to the pool. Grey and I have some business to take care of
real quick and then I’ll be back to take you to dinner in Paris.
How does that sound?”

“
Sounds like a dream.
Where are we eating?” I can’t believe this is my life.

“
The Eiffel Tower
restaurant. It’s pretty nice; jeans are allowed but not too many
people wear them, so dress up since I actually have the chance to
take you somewhere fancy. And Ava?”

It makes me a little nervous when he uses my
name like that, so I don’t verbally respond. I just raise my
eyebrows in question as I pull on my swimsuit.

“
We will be revisiting the
moving conversation over dinner.”

I’m not ready to confirm or deny that I’m
ready to move in with him, so I appreciate that I have the
afternoon to think about it. Declan’s wearing his signature outfit:
jeans with his chunky silver belt, a black t-shirt with a UFC logo
across the chest and a backwards black and grey hat, piercings in
place. I watch him as he walks over to me and lifts me up so I can
wrap my legs around him.

“
I think I should walk you
down to the pool, that way whatever guys are there will know you’re
with me.” He kisses me and I don’t argue. For one, he’ll get his
way if he really wants it. And for two, I really don’t care if he
feels the need to ward off other guys. I’m his, hopefully
forever.

“
Yeah, let’s do that. Let
me put a cover up or something on you and then we’ll go get Grey
and Macie and head out.”

I’m awarded another heart melting kiss. “I
love you, Sunshine.”

My smile is ridiculously wide, I’m sure of
it. “I love you too.”

* * * * * *

Apparently Macie’s totally prepared to dress
me this weekend. Once again, she had the perfect dress and shoes
for me to where to do dinner tonight. It’s a simple silk gown,
black and long and plain with a deep V at my chest and my back. It
barely brushes the tops of my feet, which happen to be adorned with
cherry red patent peep toes. I really feel like a million
bucks.

When we arrived, the hostess knew who Declan
was and we were seated at the back of the restaurant in front of
the huge windows. We’ve been talking and laughing and holding
hands, looking into each other’s eyes while saying nothing at all.
Cheesy romance movie scene? Definitely. Something that I will
remember forever? Absolutely. Declan is my forever and I will do
what’s necessary to make that happen. We just watched the water
show that the Bellagio hotel puts on. The water and lights display
is incredible and I really want to walk down to see it in
person.

“
Ava, uh, you’ve mentioned
once or twice that you won’t ever get married. They had always been
flippant comments and you never went into detail. Care to now?” he
asks expectantly.

I’m sure I have given more
of an explanation than he’s suggesting I have, but I’ll go over it
again. It’s not common for girls my age to be dead set against
marriage, so I think he’s having a hard time wrapping his head
around it. “Sure,” I reply with a knowing smile. “It’s not the
commitment I’m against if that’s what you’re concerned about,” he
shakes his head a couple times letting me know it’s not, “I have
just never understood why two people would need the law to have a
say in their relationship. Whatever happens between committed
couples should be worked out, resolved or celebrated between that
couple and that couple alone. Judge Jones shouldn’t determine crap
if husband X decides he wants to be unfaithful. Let the wife
resolve his fate since it was his decision to get into a committed
relationship with her, not Judge Jones’. I shouldn’t have to have a
piece of paper with witnesses’ signatures, who think they know all
about my relationship on it, because I guarantee you they don’t. I
don’t need to be in a system where I am forever changed and judged
and filed under all sorts of things just because I fell in love, I
had a ring put on my finger and a judge or pastor or a man off the
street who took an online class sign a document saying I’m now
married.” I take a deep breath and prepare for Declan’s rebuttal.
That’s only a portion of my reason behind not wanting to get
married, but I’ll just give him that for now. It’s enough. Jackson
used to argue my point all the time. He was raised by a lawyer and
is on his way to becoming one himself, so arguing was fun for
him,
is
fun for
him, but he will never win this argument with me.

“
So those weren’t just
flippant comments then?” Dec asks nonchalantly, the left side of
his lips turning up in a smirk.

I bring my linen napkin quickly up to my
mouth to hopefully catch my outburst of laughter. I wasn’t prepared
for that. After regrouping myself, I decide now is as good a time
as any to see if staying with me is something he can do now that he
knows how serious I am about not ever getting married. Can he
handle that?

“
Do you want to revisit
the moving conversation now?” I ask right after our dinner plates
are removed and our desserts are ordered.

“
I do.”

“
All right then, let’s
revisit.” I lean back in my seat and fold my hands in my lap to
give this conversation my full attention. “I just want to say first
that I don’t think I could’ve created a more perfect boyfriend to
allow into Harper’s and my lives. You are more than I ever expected
and I am completely in love with you.”

“
I am completely in love
with you too, Sunshine. I hear a ‘but’ coming, so before you say
it, hear me out.”

Sly man. I’m not going to say “but.” There
is no “but” here. I was getting ready to make sure he knew what he
was getting into and then say hell yes I want to move in with him.
I want every waking minute I have to spare to be with him and
Harper both. I’m tired of trying to balance them.