Without Doubt (19 page)

Ava turns in my arms and grabs my face
gently. She brushes a finger near the cut on my cheekbone just
under my eye. “Can we just go home, please? I’ll tell you all about
my experience tonight. Ashton was just showing me how to get back
here to you, that’s all.”

I want to believe her but I’m not sure that
I do when she says “that’s all” and Ashton is looking like he’s
staring death in the face.

“
Tell me what the fuck is
going on, Ava,” I say harshly, trying to keep my voice down. I know
she hates it when I yell, so I try not to do that, but if I don’t
start getting answers real soon there won’t be any controlling
this.

“
Mr. James, really I—”
Ashton begins in his typical business tone, always the smooth
talker trying to get things his way.

Ava cuts him off with her downcast eyes and
whispering, but she’s not sad, she looks irritated. “I hate when
you call me Ava.”

I grab her hand and pull her to the door,
thankful she doesn’t protest. “Greyden, get my shit, I’ll meet you
at the house.”

Greyden nods once and with everyone else in
the room, he watches me pull Ava out into the hallway. There are
fans out in the hall, so I place Ava against the door and tell her
not to move a muscle while I take care of this. She listens,
surprisingly enough. I take pictures and sign whatever they hand me
until we’re down to the last two fans. Rachel and Marissa. I
release the sigh that is bottled up inside of me. “I know you girls
don’t need an autograph.” I offer them a smile; they’ve been
friends with the guys and me for a long time. While the girls
laugh, I shift my eyes back to Ava and Rachel takes a step forward.
Ava folds her arms against her chest and lets out a huff of air
before focusing on a distant wall.

Rachel closes the distance between us and
wraps her arms around my neck and whispers across my mouth before I
can push her back. “Great fight tonight, baby,” she coos and I see
Ava stalk away.

“
Dammit, Rachel.” I shake
my head and take off to get Ava. “Sunshine, stop!” I say in the
sternest voice I can muster. Once again, she listens. I grasp her
hand and pull her along with me all the way to her car. I open the
passenger door and let her in before I go to the driver’s seat.
We’re halfway home when I hear her sniffle and see her wipe quickly
at her face. Clearly we both have things to say, but I’m not
interested in hashing it out in the dark car. I reach over and wipe
away another tear then rest my hand on her thigh. For the first
time since we got in the car, she shifts her body towards me
instead of away. Progress—I’ll take it.

Thirty minutes later I’m pulling into our
driveway. “Aubrey’s here?” I ask, breaking the silence at the sight
of Harper’s nanny’s car over by the garage.

“
Yes, I didn’t think it
would be a good idea to take Harper with me. Now that I’m aware of
what your fights are like, she will never even know what you do for
a living. From now on, as far as she’s concerned, you’re the
protector of the king of her castle. That’s it.” She swipes at her
face a little more, sniffles again and the grabs for her
purse.

“
I
am
the king of her castle.” I smile,
hoping we can get off the rocky ass road we’ve been on tonight. I
get a small smile before she shakes her head and goes
inside.

We check in with Aubrey and peek at a
sleeping Harper, then Ava gets in the shower. She hasn’t showered
alone in my house before, ever, but tonight she needs this, I
think. I turn down the bed, change my clothes, and lay out a
nightie for her. I’m in bed trying to figure out my words when she
comes in the room with only a towel on her head.

Ava takes the towel off and slips the
nightie on before crawling into bed with me. She doesn’t face away
like I expected, instead she lays her head on my chest and curls
into my side.

“
I’m sorry, Sunshine.
Sometimes it’s difficult for me to control temper where you’re
concerned. I’m working on it.”

She sniffles and wipes her face and my chest
with her small, soft hand.

“
Why are you crying,
baby?”

Ava sits up and straddles her legs on either
side of my waist and takes a deep breath. “I hated everything about
tonight.”

“
About my fight?” I ask
because I’m not sure I’m following her. Is she upset about Ashton
or my reaction to them being together at the fight? She nods her
head without looking at me so I sit up and wrap my arms around her.
“I’m fine, babe. I’m really good at what I do, the chances of me
getting really hurt are slim.”

She pops her head up quickly and narrows her
eyes at me. “There is nothing funny about this, Declan! You scared
the shit out of me!!” she exclaims just before punching me in the
arm.

“
Ow! What was that for?” I
rub out the little sting on my bicep while mostly holding back a
laugh, but I can’t hide my smile.

She quiets down but her eyes are terrified.
“He kicked you in the head,” she whispers so softly I can hardly
hear her. I have to laugh; I can’t help it.

“
He kicked me in my head?”
Did this surprise her?

“
YES! Do you not remember
that?” Her response is pure fear and I hate that I put that look on
her face and that feeling in her heart.

“
Yeah, I remember,
Sunshine.” I smooth her hair away from her face and kiss her
soundly. “I should have explained things to you, on how the fights
work, what to expect. I would have if I knew you were going to show
up, but I honestly thought that you were dead set against ever
coming to one.”

Ava sighs. “I was, but then I felt like I
wasn’t supporting you by not being there for you and I didn’t want
you thinking that.”

I guide her backwards so she’s lying down
with her head at the foot of the bed. I lean forward and slip my
hands up her smooth thighs, placing small, lingering kisses along
the way. My hands reach her hips and I’m reminded that she’s only
wearing a nightie. “Hmmm, I love you so much. You are the sexiest
woman I have ever known, Sunshine.” My hot breath whispers across
her hip bones and over the skin just above her panty line (if she
were wearing any). “I love the way you care about things other
people don’t even take the time to think about.” My tongue draws a
line up her abdomen, following her rising nightie. Her breathing
has changed; it’s harsher and more rapid and I can’t get enough of
it. My tongue swirls around her navel. “You make me so happy,” I
kiss along her rib cage, “no matter what,” my tongue runs
underneath her breast, “you don’t ever have to see another fight,”
I kiss between her cleavage and slip her nightie off as I drag the
tip of my nose to her ear, “just please don’t be upset over what I
do. Don’t worry. Please? I need you, Ava, I need you like the air I
breathe.” My tongue slides on the outer rim of her ear and I place
a delicate kiss to her temple. I’m on top of her in a second, my
elbows on either side of her head. My mouth connects with hers and
although she has tears streaming down her face, there is no
hesitation in her kiss.

Ava makes me feel like the
word “love” was established just for us. Her and I. Me and her. I
know that I would do anything for her, even become a damn
accountant if that’s what she wished for on a bright, shining star.
I would. It would be the toughest thing to possibly imagine but it
wouldn’t be impossible. Surviving the loss of my relationship with
her?
That
would
be impossible.

* * * * * *

I wake up to a darkened room and complete
silence. Macie had blackout shades installed in a few of the
bedrooms, including mine, but I never use them. One push of a
button and it’s like midnight in the middle of the afternoon, but
I’m an early riser, always have been. I get up and run and eat
whatever my trainer has on the menu then get my day started before
most CEOs are even hitting snooze. But this morning, I know I have
overslept and I know my stubborn woman has something to do with
it.

Throwing the covers back and stretching out
to a standing position, I can definitely feel the effects of my
fight and then I’m flooded with thoughts of the makeup session with
Ava last night. I feel like a prick for overreacting about Ashton,
but sometimes being a prick is unavoidable.

After a quick shower and dressing, I head
down to see a house full of people. I’m not sure what’s going on,
but it smells good and everyone’s laughing and talking and just
generally having a good time. I really wanted to spend the day with
Ava and Harper but it looks like everyone else does too.

“
Hey, good morning, babe,”
Ava says with a small smile as she stands over a griddle flipping
pancakes.

Harper is sitting at the breakfast bar
eating her puffies while Greyden makes a game out of stealing them
away and Macie fusses over her like she’s the most precious thing
on this planet (which she is, right next to Ava). I dip down and
kiss Harper on the top of the head and then walk straight over to
Ava, take the spatula out of her hand, and wrap her up in my arms,
giving her a deep, intense kiss. She pulls back, a bit breathless
and blinking rapidly.

“
Good morning, Sunshine.
You don’t happen to know how the blackout shades got drawn and my
alarm turned off, do you?” I ask and she just gently shrugs her
shoulders and tries to move out of my embrace.

“
Told you it wasn’t a good
idea,” Greyden mumbles as though he tried to talk her out of it,
which he probably didn’t.

My mom finishes pouring orange juice into a
sippy for the little girl that she has fallen head over heels for
and has since unofficially adopted her as her grandchild. She’s
dubbed herself as NiNi and my dad as Papo and Harper obliged
immediately. “Declan, this is new for her. Let her dote on you,
it’s important,” my mother reminds me and then starts messing with
Harper’s hair.

Ava needs to “dote” on me after last night?
What am I missing? “Sunshine?”

Nothing. She just continues flipping those
pancakes, over and over. I slide her hair over towards her right
shoulder and kiss the exposed skin on the other side as my hands
snake back around her waist. I feel her exhale and relax a little
into me.

“
Are you doting on me,
Sunshine?” I whisper in her ear and she shivers. Fuck, I love when
I make her shiver. She still doesn’t verbally reply. “I like it,
baby; I could get used to this.”

“
You better not get used
to this, sleeping in and eating like this—you’re going to become a
fat ass!” Greyden says loudly and everyone, including my dad,
admonishes him for cussing in front of Harper. “Crap, sorry, baby
girl” he says softly to Harper, who laughs and says, “Crap! Crap!
Crap!” He groans and starts handing her puffies to stuff in her
mouth.

“
Ava, the pancakes are
finished. Take them off the griddle and look at me please,” I
demand.

She does as I ask and everyone else pretends
that they’re not paying any attention to us, but I know
differently. She stacks them on the serving dish and then turns
around to face me. Her eyes are glassy and I can tell she’s trying
like hell to control her emotions.

“
What happened?” I ask
quietly, watching a few tears trickle down her cheeks. She sniffles
and bats them away quickly.

“
I needed you to rest and
now I need to see you eat something other than a protein shake this
morning. Please.”

“
All right, I can do that.
Do you want to tell me what has you so upset this morning? I
thought we fixed this last night.” I really am confused. We spent
hours making things right last night. She was laughing and teasing
with me by the time we fell asleep, so this change of heart and
concern is worrying me.

Ava swallows and kisses me softly, then
turns back around and begins to make me a plate full of several
pancakes, linguica, and some potato, pepper and eggs mixture. I
just stand there, confused as hell. She hands me my plate with a
fork and napkin before asking what I want to drink and telling me
to sit. I sit and ask for coffee and orange juice. After setting my
drinks next to my plate, she kisses my cheek and hurries out of the
room. Nobody says anything; even Harper is being quiet.

“
Will someone please tell
me what the hell is going on?” I say, dropping my fork on my plate
and looking at everyone’s pity-filled faces.

My mom walks over to me and rests her hand
on my shoulder. “Declan, watch your mouth, darling. Ava just needs
a minute to compose herself.”

Still not answering my question!

Macie sits down at the bar and Keegan takes
Harper out back. Macie clears her throat before speaking. “You have
some pretty nasty bruises this morning?”

“
Yeah, he got me pretty
good in the second round along my ribs and torso on my right side.
Why do you ask?”

Macie asked as though she already knows the
answer but still seemed too concerned about it. “Well, I’m guessing
you don’t sleep with a shirt on.”

Why the hell is she talking about the way I
sleep with Ava in my bed in front of our parents? I’m just about to
get pissed and tell her to shut up when her line of questioning
starts to make sense. Ava had seen the bruises this morning. She’s
seen me after fights before, but this was a good one, probably some
of the worst bruising I’ve seen in a few years. I drop my head into
my hands and rub vigorously. I’ve never had to deal with this
before and I’m not sure how to go about it. I can’t just quit
fighting because of a few bruises or because my girlfriend doesn’t
want me to get kicked in the head again. Which I may or may not
have agreed to not let happen again in the midst of some heavy
kissing last night.