Without Knowing (When You Wake Book 1) (17 page)

“There’s an inevitable factor here, Caleb. Just concentrate on seeing your family again.”

“
You
are my family. You are the only thing I need. And if there was another way, I wouldn’t be going back. I do not want to go back to them. I finally got passed it and then you came along. I didn’t accept this for them, I did this for you.” Caleb’s eyes were so youthful, pained, and needy.

He was sitting on my bed. My safe zone. My untouched-by-another sanctuary. One knee was propped up on the bed, his foot hanging off while the other leg kept his balance, his foot flat on the floor.

“I don’t want to force you into anything. If you don’t want to go, we shouldn’t go.” I looked down at my hands. I could see him reach for me and then stop midair.

“I will do anything to help you. I will go anywhere to save us.” There was texture to his voice, the pleads highlighted by them.

“Save us? Fix us? Just stop! This isn’t about us. This can’t be about us.” My words got the best of me.             

“I live for you, and if we can’t be fixed, that’s it for me.” He rushed out of the room. As if I didn’t already worry about him.

I couldn’t ignore the fact that he made me want to fix us. It was going to require a lot of something, but maybe we could be fixed. Maybe if I could trust him again - completely - we could have a nice patch up job; I couldn’t live with that either.

Fix it we shall.

I was the first to finish and have my bag in the hall when the aroma of food curled my lips and sang sweet songs to my grumbling belly. I stood at the entrance to the dining room watching as Thomas whistled to the careful placement of each dish on the dining room table. It was my new favorite meal of spaghetti with pineapple meatballs and garlic toast with Parmesan cheese.

I didn’t bother him as he danced with each plate from the cart to its proper place on the table. He was happy. He was doing something he loved. It was intoxicating to watch a person enjoy what they were doing.

The rush of hungry men announcing themselves down the hall straightened Thomas to a professional stance as he finished placing the last glass.

The men stood at their chairs as they had before, Caleb unaware of this tradition. He awkwardly stood at the head of the table and me, at Seth’s old chair. I would bare that weight.

“Well, the food is ready. If no one objects, Pint, will you say Grace for us?” Thomas asked.

We bowed our heads with no objections. Caleb followed one-step behind.

“Heavenly Father, we thank you for another day and asked that you bless our food, bless the hands that so generously made our dinner today. We also ask that you bless those we share this fest with, those who could not be here today, and those who are no longer with us. We ask that you take care of our loved ones who we cannot see, our loved ones who we cannot touch, and our loved ones that we have not yet met. We pray for your strength in these trying times and ask that you continue to watch over us…”

As Pint finished his prayer, we all said Amen and sat down. Joss assisted me with my chair and then sat in the seat to my right. We served each other; Caleb fell in suit. We assured each we were ready to eat and chowed down. I noticed Caleb watching everyone so intently and then as our plates were nearly empty from the second round of servings, we locked eyes.

I wanted to fix us. I needed to fix us. This wouldn’t be a life without him.

It was the tingling feeling that started in my chest. The tingling became a static that expanded slowly from my chest. I dropped my fork and lost control of the hand that held my wine glass. I could see their panic; the haze enveloping my vision now clouded the laughter. The pressure built up in the back of my eyes temporarily blinding me. The sensation of static intensified to electricity coursing through my entire body.

And then the masks appeared, the masks I nearly strangled myself with bed sheets to escape. The muffled laughter behind the plastic masks only became recognizable as they were removed. And then she appeared, smiling over me. I stared up, on my back, cold and wet as she clanked the metal cup against the bars. Unable to control the body I was in, I waited for me to react.

“Get up sleepy head,” she spoke sweetly.

The air was cold; the sun was bright. I could feel the snow crunching under me.

“GET UP!” Seth yelled from behind her.

I shot up only to be surrounded by thick metal bars in the middle of an open field. The tug on my neck indicated I was doing something wrong. A quick tug again and I realized I was wearing a dog collar and a leash.

“Look honey, she’s up,” Caroline spoke, smacking a wad of gum like a horse. Her Harley Quinn impression needed work.

“Great.” Seth pulled Caroline in for a rough kiss.

“Where the hell am I?” I choked.

“Well, we figured it was a matter of time before you’d convince Caleb to go back home so, let’s just call this your new home,” Caroline giggled. I half expected her to be twirling her hair around her finger.

We haven’t left, tell them we haven’t left.

“How’d you know what we had planned?”

“Do you think you’re the only one with gifts?” Seth smiled.

I could feel the static become the electricity boiling in my veins as the return of my vision placed me at the dinner table instead of my bed. “They’re coming!”

Acknowledgments

              To Amy - Oh Amy. My beta reader, my friend, that voice that tells me exactly what I need to hear. Thank you for being my oh so very honest rock I needed to keep moving and keep writing. I know that as long as I have you asking for the next book, I will always HAVE to write one.

              To My Circle - I have a very small group of people that I have always been able to count on. It took me many years to build that strong connection and I am truly grateful and lucky to have such a wonderful support system in my life.

About the Author

              Life has always made room for Ashley’s small but significant pals, Ms. Pen and Mr. Notebook. Ashley lives in Ohio with her wonderful husband whose many superhuman abilities include an extraordinary amount of patience and understanding.

              Ashley is the author of the series
When You Wake.
Her debut novel,
Without Knowing,
is the first in this series.  

You can find her online:

www.booshashable.wordpress.com

www.facebook.com/booshashable

Twitter: @Booshashable

1