Without You Here (28 page)

"Yes!"

He stopped and looked at her. "Are you insane? Do you want this to end now? Because that's what happens when a man says what's on his mind."

"Not with me. Do it. I'm ready." She was so cute with all her confidence. She sat straight and lifted her chin. She pounded her fist on her chest and gave him a nod.

He laughed. "Okay. Well, I'm disappointed. And afraid and angry and relieved that you don't want to get married. How's that?"

"Why?"

"Why? Why the hell do you think? I was getting back on my feet, starting to enjoy life again. I got to thinking, hey, I'm single. I can do whatever the hell I want. Maybe I'll go on a cruise this summer and just see how many women I can find to have sex with me. Maybe I'll go on that hiking trip in New Zealand I've always wanted to do. And see if there's any women there who want to have sex with me. And maybe I'll go to Hawaii and hang out on the beach and—“

"See how many women will have sex with you?" She smirked.

He let out a frustrated laugh. "Yeah. I guess I really only had the one goal in mind. But still, it was a start."

She smiled. There wasn't any anger in it. Or fear or hurt.

“Ettie, I wasn’t going to go after you. I wanted to. All the women in the world couldn’t make up for losing you, but I wouldn’t have sought you out.”

“Why?”

“You know why. We’d already said goodbye. I didn’t want to add more turmoil to your life when you were probably over me. You can do so much better—“

“Wyatt, don’t.”

“I’m twenty years older than you. It would have been wrong for me to come after you. I couldn’t justify it. I’ve had my life, but you’re just starting yours. You should be with someone younger. Someone just starting out, like you.”

She simply held his gaze, her lips tight. “You’re more full of life than any man I’ve ever met.”

He took a strand of her hair and let it play through his fingers. “You put that life back into me. When I saw you tonight….” He looked away and shook his head. There were no words for what he’d felt, and if he’d tried, he’d have just ended up choking.

“You were happy to see me?”

“Oh, yeah, baby.”

“But you weren’t thinking about forever?”

"I was thinking about you. And sex."

"That's okay, Wyatt."

He just stared at her. She really was crazy.

"It's okay that you're disappointed. And angry and afraid and relieved. Okay?"

He swallowed. "It's not. It's selfish."

"What would be selfish is if, a week from now, you were still expressing these feelings. But you won't be. Because you're awesome. They'll go away. And when they do, then we can talk about our plans for this baby. For now, we're just going to have dinner and then go back to your bed, right?"

He hesitated. Then he took her hand, brought her to her feet, and held her. "Ettie, I love you. And I know right now that I want to marry you."

"Well I'm not ready to say yes to that, so drop it, okay?"

He sighed. "Okay. Alright. I'll try again in a week. You're probably just stressed about graduating."

She laughed and slapped him playfully. He slid his hand down to her abdomen. Where his baby was. "Blake turned out pretty good," he said.

"Yeah. And I imagine you learned a lot from that experience."

"Let's go inside. Gotta get my lecture from Dad. Good thing is, he'll drop it and move on once it's off his chest."

Once they got settled back at the table, Wyatt had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the way his dad folded his arms over his chest and gave him that stern look.

"Wipe that smirk off your face, boy," he said.

Wyatt did laugh, then. He reached for the serving spoon. Liza had made chicken and dumplings. He served Ettie and then himself. "Mind if I eat while you yell at me, Pop? Kill two birds with one stone." He was still chuckling.

"It disturbs me that you find amusement in this situation."

"I find amusement in you. I never was afraid of that look. Don't know why you keep at it."

"When your mother and I were dating, I would never have treated her with such disrespect as to have unprotected sex with her."

Wyatt winced. "Gross. Don't talk about my mother like that."

Blake sat up and pointed at him. "Ha! See? Parental sex is weird and disgusting."

Wyatt conceded with a shrug. "Mom, dinner's amazing."

"Thank you, dear. Make sure your lovely lady friend eats plenty. It's good for keeping up her strength." Ettie smiled adoringly at Liza.

"Honey, I'm trying to dispense some wisdom, here," Charles said. He turned to Blake and Lauren. "I hope you kids look at this as an example of what can happen if you behave irresponsibly."

Wyatt frowned and nodded. "You should always use a condom, even if you're naked in the river and it's in your pant's pocket on top of a cliff."

Ettie snorted. "Or if you're in the kitchen and the condoms are all the way in the back bedroom."

"Or," Liza said, "If you're in the coat closet at your parent's country club and the condoms are in your glove compartment." She arched a brow at Charles.

Wyatt, Ettie, Blake, and Lauren all turned open-mouthed stares on Charles who stiffened and reddened visibly. He cleared his throat, glanced around, and suddenly grew interested in dinner. "Well. I think I've made my point."

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

That evening we all went back to Wyatt's house. I understood that that was Blake's home and he and Lauren had been staying there when they came down on weekends. But I still thought it would have been nice of them to offer to stay up at Liza's.

They didn't. So I thought it was going to be awkward when we got in. But as soon as Wyatt stepped inside, he stretched and let out an exaggerated yawn. "Whew. I'm exhausted. Time for bed. Goodnight, kids," he said to Blake and Lauren. Then he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me back to his room. Of course I was giggling the whole way. He shoved me first into the room, kicked the door closed, and then tackled me into his bed.

I wasn't sure what to expect. This had been Amberlee's room last time I was here. Was he going to take me in the bed he'd shared with his wife? Did I really want him to?

But as soon as I walked in, I saw that everything was different. The bed was bigger. And also inadequately made. He only had sheets and a couple of quilts draped over the top. And pillow cases that didn't match. I smiled. It was going to be fun, fixing up my new room some day.

He rolled off of me, sat on the edge of his bed and bent to take off his boots. He glanced over at me, nodded to my shoes, and went back to work on his. I kicked off my shoes, grinning so much my face hurt. Then I went and stood in front of him. I reached back, unzipped my dress, and let it fall off my shoulders and onto the floor. And since I wasn't wearing underwear, that left me standing there in my birthday suit.

Wyatt's head lifted and his gaze moved up my body, flooding me with heat from my toes on up. His eyes landed on me and he gave me this big, boyish grin. "God damn," he said.

I giggled and then tackled him, knocking him to his back. I straddled him and shoved his t-shirt up. He sat up so I could peel it off. I watched the glorious muscles of his abs and obliques tighten with the movement. Then I unfastened his jeans. He reached behind me and shoved them down, kicking them the rest of the way off. Then he rolled me, pinning me beneath him.

He stopped to look at me. We were both smiling, so happy to be together, so comfortable being naked together. "Say my name," he said.

I met his stare. "Wyatt." I said it straight.

He chuckled. "Say it with passion."

I squeezed my eyes shut and tossed my head side-to-side with each syllable. "Oh, Wyatt, fuck me now!"

He dropped his head to my chest and laughed. I took the opportunity to run my hands over his shoulders. He looked up at me. "You're gonna say it like you mean it here in a little while."

"I have no doubt."

He pinned my wrists over my head and looked me over. "Mmm. Where to begin." Then he took my left breast in his mouth and sucked hard. All humor vanished as my body bucked beneath him and I cried out, "Wyatt!" on a gasp of pain and pleasure.

I felt him grin against me. But he was too busy kissing and licking every inch of my body to gloat. He made his way down to my clit. He grabbed hold of my ankles and pushed my knees up. He sucked me into his mouth and I was already so hot with need that I immediately fell into that mad, thrashing state of pleasure. I'm sure I cried out. I know I had my hands fisted in his hair.

When I came down off it, he was grinning up at me, his hair standing up all over. He crawled up my body, pausing to take pleasure where he wanted it. I felt him hard against me and my body craved him so deeply. But he was going to tease me and drive me crazy if I didn't do something. So I reached down and grabbed hold of his erection. He hissed and nipped at my neck.

"Now," I groaned through my teeth.

"Let go of me you little minx, I'm not finished."

I shook my head. "Now!"

He groaned and finally gave me what I wanted. He slid into me, moving in slow thrusts, giving me a chance to adjust to his hot, thick length inside of me. Oh, and it felt like coming home. It felt like everything right in the world. I dug my nails into his back and arched into him, panting and gasping. "More! Faster! Harder!"

"Greedy girl." His voice had gone raspy, though, which meant he was almost as gone as me. He pounded into me, fast and almost too hard. I wrapped my legs around him, deepening the thrust. I tried to hang on, to not climax, but he was grinding against me and I couldn't help myself. The pleasure exploded inside of me and I sobbed, helpless against the onslaught of his fucking.

His arms were wrapped around me, under my back and waist, holding me, cradling me against him. Sweat was dripping down my sides. And then his breath hitched. "Oh, fuck, Ettie," he cried into my neck, and then he fell over the edge.

I wrapped my arms around him, comforting him and taking everything he had to give. At long last his body went relaxed. He stayed up on his elbows to keep from putting his full weight on me. But his head rested in my neck and his hips pressed mine into the mattress.

Our breathing eventually slowed. I felt hot pants of breath against my neck and realized he was chuckling. "Something funny?" I asked.

"Just an excess of happy." He rolled off of me and brought the blanket up over us both.  I turned into him and nuzzled against his chest. My body absolutely ached and I wasn't sure I'd be able to walk in the morning. I didn't want to think that the world might still be turning outside of this room. I just wanted this to be everything, everywhere, forever.

But then my stomach rumbled loudly. I felt him chuckle. "Hungry?" he asked.

"I'm starving. But I can wait."

"Didn't you just eat dinner?"

"Yeah, but I've been getting hungry a lot more often lately."

"Why's that?"

Well why did he think? "I don't know." I didn't want to say it.

"Say it. Say why you're hungry more."

I pushed back and frowned at him, trying to figure out what he was after. "Because," I said slowly. "I'm pregnant."

He grinned real big. "I like hearing it. I like you pregnant." He rubbed his hand up and down my arm, his eyes drinking me in. "There's just something about getting a woman pregnant. Some feeling. I can't explain it. Not pride, really. Just...fulfillment I guess. And possession. I guess a girl doesn't want to hear that."

"I like being possessed. I like that we have this together. You're right, it links us. I love it."

I watched him for the longest time. Watched him watching me. He was going to take care of me. And I was going to take care of him. We were going to take care of our baby. He was right, it was fulfilling. My stomach rumbled again and he laughed. "What do you want to eat?"

I bit my bottom lip and made eyes at him. "Pizza?" I asked.

He just grinned. "Frozen okay? Or should I go into town for the good stuff?"

"You'd go into town for me?"

He laughed and swung his legs out of bed and slid into some jeans.

I sat up on an elbow. "Are you seriously going into town to get me pizza?"

"Oh, it's no problem. I'll call it in. It'll be ready when I get there. You'll have sustenance in forty minutes or less or you can tie me up and do bad things to me."

"Can I do that anyway?"

"Yes. Now go to sleep so time will pass faster. I love you." He walked out of the room, shoving into his t-shirt.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Wyatt spent every moment that weekend that he wasn't working, in bed with Ettie. He fed her and talked with her and made love with her. He was nothing but euphoric the entire time. He desperately didn't want her to go, but they told themselves it was only a week. And while Blake and Lauren were waiting for Ettie out in their car, Wyatt was giving her one, last, goodbye fuck against the wall in the kitchen.

"Thank you!" she gasped, when he sat her back on her feet.

"I'm at your service, ma'am," he said. He was kissing and licking her face and neck. She'd broken into a sweat and tasted salty. His hands were in her hair, messing it up pretty badly.

"Oh, Wyatt, I have to go," she moaned.

"I know." He brought her into his arms and held her tight.

From outside a horn honked for the third time.

Ettie let out a groan of frustration. Wyatt kissed her and then took her hand, leading her outside. He let her go at the top of the porch steps and watched as she tried to smooth her skirt and her hair on the way to the back seat of the car. She turned back and gave him a smile and a wave. "Next weekend," she said.

He nodded. "I'll pre-order the pizza."

She blew him a kiss and got in. He waved as the three kids drove off, on their way to their last week of college. Then he went inside, straight to his bed, and collapsed. He didn't usually take a Sunday nap, but he sure as hell was gonna today.

Only instead of sleeping, he felt his eyes stinging. And then tears began trickling down the sides of his face. He cursed and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. But something that felt like grief was filling him up and he had nowhere to go with it. He wound up crying and cursing himself all the way.