You Are a Medium: Discover Your Natural Abilities to Communicate With the Other Side (17 page)

is needed. The soul is demanding a radical departure from the old

and a new vision for the future. This is not a message to end one’s physical life. Instead the deeper soul message is actually a call for transformation.

When an individual feels overwhelmed, depressed, despondent,

and believes that they do not know how or cannot deal with their

present life circumstances the soul and the personality are discon-

nected from one another. The soul constantly sends us direction

and messages to keep us on track with our life plan. When an in-

dividual gets to the point of severe desperation and contemplates

suicide they have not been listening within for a long time. They

have missed the earlier cues and signs from their soul trying to alter their path.

Many of those in the spirit realm that I have communicated

with tell me that from their renewed heavenly perspective they can

now see the people and help that could have changed their lives. At the time they dismissed these opportunities and continued to will-fully and even stubbornly remain on their path.

I recently worked with a woman whose son committed suicide.

His first message to his mother in our session was that there was

nothing anyone could have done to alter his decision. He knew that

his life needed to change but he felt that he lacked the strength and ability to know what to do and how to begin. Although there were

people who could have helped him, he resisted their efforts. Now,

from the spirit realm he had gratitude for the people and positive

112 ~ Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being

opportunities that had been available to him. He now understood

that love was always present.

On school house earth we confront the lesson of suicide to learn

how to accept a new vision of life and to engage in the process of

change. It seems simple, but we humans resist and fear change of

any kind. Letting go of who we believe ourselves to be and mak-

ing choices and decisions to care and love ourselves can feel like an overwhelming challenge. Yet, even though physical life can be demanding, painful and difficult it holds the raw energy of potential and all possibilities. Accepting the need for radical change in your life and putting energy into manifesting this new self is as significant and powerful as physical death.

Suicide on the Other Side

When an individual ends his or her physical life, they soon discover they have made a critical mistake. The soul goes into retrograde.

Instead of advancing on their soul path they must backtrack and

revisit and re-experience the conditions that led to their decision.

Years ago I realized that communicating with those in spirit

who left though suicide was a bit different than connecting with

people who left through illness or accidents. Because the life plan for people who commit suicide has not been completed their transition differs from others who pass from natural causes. Once in

the heavenly light of the other side they are not among the “general population’. It is a bit like someone who quits school before graduating. They may no longer go to school every day, but to advance

they still need to learn and complete some form on education or

training. When we complete our life plan here on earth, even if we

feel as if we have made “bad” decisions or made a general mess of

our lives, we still graduate and celebrate on the other side. We are given an expansive freedom that allows us to create and experience the bliss and comfort that may have eluded us in the physical

world. Once on the other side, a soul that has committed suicide

Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being ~ 113

does not experience this kind of freedom. Instead they enter special angelic centers where they are cared for, loved and participate in

their healing. They become aware of what led to their decision to

end their life and understand other actions they may have taken.

Their life plan is reviewed and they become aware of the oppor-

tunities and possibilities for change that they refused. Empathy is developed and they feel the anguish and pain of those who were

affected by their passing. Unlike the physical realm where we can

play video games, over eat and drink, watch television and gener-

ally deny our soul needs, this is a focused environment. There is no denial and no place to hide. At the same time it is an atmosphere

of overwhelming love. Kindness and compassion are the air that we

breathe. It is everywhere.

People who commit suicide need your help. Maybe more than

any other type of passing, you are essential to their healing. If you have a loved one who has passed in this way, they are most likely

close and learning from you. The following session is an example of the healing affects that our actions on earth can have on a soul who left through suicide.

Accepting Self

Austin was sent to me by a psychotherapist who often refers peo-

ple to me. Some people in therapy who have unresolved feelings

after the loss of a loved one often benefit from a medium session.

Right on time, but looking a little nervous, Austin came into my office and set up his iPhone to record the session. I said my prayer to begin the session and gave him some messages from his angel. Austin’s mother and an Aunt then came in. They talked about his fam-

ily, shared a few funny memories and provided some interesting

information about upcoming changes in his career. Austin’s mother

had unexpectedly died of a brain aneurism a few years prior. His

emotional response after hearing from her was touching. Know-

ing that she was at peace in the spirit realm and close to her sister
114 ~ Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being

seemed to relax him. As my time with him came to a close, I had an

uneasy feeling that there was someone present in spirit that I could not clearly connect with.

“Is there someone else you want me to communicate with?” I

asked him. “I can feel someone here, but they seem a little distant.”

“Yes, there is.” He said. I scanned the energy vibration where I

connect with loved ones. I still felt someone’s presence. But, it felt fuzzy and I was unable to clearly connect. I began to suspect that

this might be someone who had committed suicide. Quite often

they are not in the same energy vibration as other loved ones.

I turned to Austin and explained to him. “When someone passes

over through suicide, I have to tune into a bit of a different vibration. Unless they are far along in their healing, they are not among the “general population’”.

As I was talking to Austin I realized that as I suspected, the soul who was present passed over from suicide. This awareness was

enough to draw the spirit closer to me.

“Okay,” I told him. “I am connecting with him now. This is a

male who died young. I am not getting a family connection. Is this

a friend of yours?”

“Yes,” he quietly said.

“I have to tell you he seems a little reluctant to speak. He is

showing me an image of buildings, quite a few of them. It looks like a school campus. I feel as if you were friends in college.”

“We were room-mates all four years, the best of friends.” Austin

confirms the images.

“I see an image of you both. It looks like you two had fun. I see

you doing the normal kinds of things that friends do, playing Fris-

bee and going to parties.”

Despite the positive memories, Austin has a serious look on his

face. “Some of my best memories are with Matt. I could not have

asked for a better friend.”

Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being ~ 115

Even though I am aware of the drinking and drug use that goes

on at college, I do not feel as if Matt had a problem in this area. I was curious, though to know what happened. Usually when I connect to people who passed over as a result of suicide I feel much

stronger feelings of depression and angst. I do not initially feel this with Matt. I am drawn back to him. He may have been picking up

on my thoughts, as the energy begins to feel a more somber.

“Matt is showing me the image of a blonde haired woman. She

is attractive and slim. I feel this was someone close to him, maybe a girlfriend. I feel a lot of confusion and sorrow.”

“Yes,” Austin interrupts me. “This was his fiancé. They were

planning on getting married a few weeks before he passed. Why did

he die? No one knows what happened? Would you please ask him?

“

I turn to Matt and the images grow stronger and more intense.

“I see a small terrace. Did Matt hang himself ? I feel overwhelming stress and anxiety here.”

“Yes, and I found him, early one morning. We had been talk-

ing about his upcoming wedding the night before. I was his best

man. We were making plans for his bachelor party. He never said

anything. Why didn’t he talk to me? I didn’t even know he was de-

pressed. This has plagued me for years. What could I of done different? ’Austin pleads with me.

Despite the reluctance on Matt’s part in the beginning of the

session, his response is clear and strong.”

“Matt was gay.” I tell Austin. “He didn’t want anyone to know.

He was ashamed.”

Brian sits in silence. I know that he is struggling with this information. He looks at me and asks. “Why didn’t he just tell me?”

“He felt like he could not tell anyone. I feel as if he was involved with a few different men. But, he still considered himself to be a

straight man. There was however someone else. I get the impres-

sion that he developed feelings of love for a man. This scared him

116 ~ Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being

and he became very anxious.” I try my best to relay Matt’s thoughts and feelings to Austin who is clearly bewildered.

“Who,” Austin asks me. “Was it Will? They were hanging out

quite a bit. I heard that after college he came out as gay.”

Matt further tries to explain what he was experiencing to Aus-

tin. “I get the impression from Matt that he grew up in a religious household. I feel as if he had a loving family. But, he was afraid that they would not understand him. He knew they would reject him if

he was gay. I feel like being gay would have been considered a sin

in his family. Was his father involved in the church? Maybe even a

minister. I keep getting an image of what feels like his father with a clerical collar around his neck.”

“Yes, his father was a Baptist minister and a business man. A

no-nonsense kind of man, he wanted Matt to become a minister

also.” Austin explains. “I guess it would have been hard for him. He met his soon to be wife in the church. They knew each other since

high-school. They were both involved on campus with student

ministries. I wish I would have known. Maybe I could have helped

him. But to be honest, I know that back then I may not have been

too supportive. I didn’t know any gay people. On our campus it

wouldn’t have been accepted. This was over twenty-five years ago.

How is he? Please tell him I miss him.”

“I feel a strong angelic presence close to Matt.” I share with Aus-

tin. “He is being loved and helped. Matt tells me that it took a long time for him to accept the healing and love that was being offered

to him. He went to a dark place after his death. Sure that he had

sinned by loving a man and committing suicide he imagined that

he would go to hell. When there was no hell, Matt tells me that he

created his own. Now it is better. The angels wouldn’t stop trying, he says. He is feeling so much peace now … Do you have a son?” I

ask Austin. “Matt is showing me a young man who looks somewhat

like you.”

Suicide and Transformation to New Ways of Being ~ 117

“I have two sons “Brian tells me. “But I think he might be talk-

ing about Jeff.”

“Yes, Matt feels a strong connection to him.” I share with Aus-

tin. “It’s funny. I get so much love coming from Matt to you. It has something to do with your son. I get the feeling from Matt that you have helped Jeff in some way. Matt has been watching and close to

you both. He tells me that he is being helped through your parent-

ing your son. This may sound odd. I don’t know? Does it make any

sense to you?”

Brian nods his head in agreement. “My son struggled, like Matt.

I didn’t know how much angst he was going through. His older

brother is a real jock, good at sports. He was on the football and

baseball team in high school. Jeff was never very athletic. He started to fail in school and had problems with friendships. We had him go

to counseling. One day his mother and I went into his session with

him. Jeff told us he was gay. I will be honest. It wasn’t easy at first.

But, I love my son. I did everything that I could do to support him.

Even if that meant, having some uncomfortable family reunions,

not everyone has been so accepting.”

“I feel like in the process of helping your son you also helped

Matt. He thanks you for being a good father. The love you feel for

your son, helped him to know what acceptance feels like. Leaving

like he did was a mistake. He knows this now.” I look over at Austin and he is slightly misty eyed. “Matt tells me that Jeff is a funny guy.

I get the impression from Matt that he is watching over him, help-

ing him out when he can. Before we end, Matt wants me to tell you