15 Things Highly Happy Wives and Girlfriends Understand About Men That You Don't (6 page)

It is a common occurrence on televisions shows and media applications that men simply do not listen -- ever. Nothing could be further from the truth, but they have received this designation because women are always talking about things that do not concern them, their relationships or the couple's well-being.

For instance, your boyfriend or husband does not need to know about your entire day, starting from the time you left your house, until you returned and everything in between.

He does not need to hear one more time how the girl you work with is incompetent, or how your sister is seeking therapy for her emotional instability yet again.

He does not need to know that your girlfriend is being selfish, or that your mother is upset that you are not having lunch with her for the third time this week. This is why women have girlfriends.

Women can talk to other women about all of the things that they think are important throughout the day. Other women will understand, provide advice and allow you to cry without feeling like they have done something wrong.

Since men do not think like women, it is unacceptable to get upset with them because they do not get why you are mad at your mom.

So when you decide to tell him about it for the eight hundredth time, he is going to tune you out. He just is. That is how it works, and that is why men receive the "bad listener" rap.

There is always a time and a place to talk about plans you want to make, vacations you want to take, or things that genuinely upset you about the world, but they are not the minute he walks through the door.

Think of it this way: If the very moment you got home from work, you man met you at the door and started explaining his fantasy football lineup for the upcoming weekend -- even though it is only Tuesday -- and how it compares to his friends' lineups, and why he is SO much better than everyone else, you would want to die.

He would go on to say that the guy he works with knows nothing about football, and is a total moron (just like you do about the women you work with), and how he cannot believe he plays at all.

He would then follow you up the stairs, and continue this conversation while you change clothes, later following you back down the stairs, going on and on about his wide receiving core, and how he is going to outscore everyone this weekend.

Oh, and when the weekend does get here, you two have plans to enjoy it all through commitments he made without even asking you first.

And while this entire ONE SIDED conversation is taking place, you cannot interject or ask him to stop talking for a while, lest he become upset, enraged or start crying. How would that be?

No good, right?

So why should you get to do it? The answer is you don't. And it is NOT different -- not even a little bit.

Women do not seem to understand that when they start going on and on about trivial things as soon as their man comes through the door, it sounds a lot like the fantasy football scenario described above.

You are trying to have a conversation with him about things that -- in the grand scheme of things -- really do not matter, and you want him to respond to it with genuine regard for its outcome.

Would you be able to do the same?

Instead of subscribing to the same, tired allegation that your man "is not listening" try talking to him about something that concerns your relationship.

If you have genuine concerns about your relationship, or would like to discuss upcoming plans, simply make a plan to talk about them.

It does not have to happen as soon as you walk through the door, or while he is working late from his home office. Wait until everyone's schedule is clear, and their attention is focused, and then communicate.

Just because you have nothing going on at the moment, and can have all the conversations you would like, does not mean he is equally available.

The more you respect his time and commitments, the more he will supply you with clear and genuine focus when you actually do need to talk. Save the rest for your girlfriends, and allow them to do the same. It is part of having a healthy balance between your relationship and your social lives.

It cannot be stressed enough that you should treat others how you want to be treated. This is especially important in relationships.

If you want your man's attention while you are out, give him all of yours in exchange. You cannot spend the entire night talking with your friends, and later ask him why he ignored you all night.

If you want your man to tell you that you look beautiful, tell him how handsome he is. It is okay to compliment your man before he compliments you. This is not a competition, it is a relationship.

How would you like it if your man spent the majority of his time with friends talking about how terrible you are? Or saying things like, "Insert your name here is bitching at me about everything again."

Or announcing to the world that all you do is complain, spend money, and yell at him for every small thing he does wrong? You would hate it, and so would he, so do not do it.

Do not complain to other people about your relationship. It is ugly, and unbecoming.

Be supportive, and get support in return. If your man is having a tough time with work, money or family, it is not your job to solve (or criticize!) the problem.

It is your role to be supportive, and help get him through this tough time. If that means allowing him to work late without complaining about how he has not been home all week. That means using your hard-earned money to pick up the slack when necessary, because it is a partnership.

And that means not bad mouthing his family's dysfunction while they get things sorted out. You would want the same, and would be upset if he did not provide it, so act the part you want to play.

Finally, be nice. Be caring. Be loving. Enjoy your time together. Smile at your man, and tell him you love him. He truly wants you to be happy, because he knows that when you are happy, so is he.

Help him get you there by being positive instead of complaining at the drop of a hat.

Be fun instead of judgmental. Have a beer with him and his friends without being awful the entire time, or rushing him to go home. Take the initiative to create a better, trusting and devoted relationship, without being overbearing.

If you really want to be in a relationship with a man it is time to start acting like an adult, and discovering that the differences between men and women are huge, and that it is okay!

It is okay that your man wants to have a beer while he rides his lawnmower. And it is okay that he calls his friends demeaning names, while wrestling with them in public.

He is not asking you to do it, and you should not slight him for his enjoyment. Be fair, be kind, and be in love. It really is a lot simpler than women make it out to be. Just enjoy the man you fell in love with, while treating him with loyalty and respect. You will be amazed at the man you receive in return, and will spend the rest of your days wishing you would have done this earlier.

I hope you’ve learned a lot from this book, and had at least a couple “aha moments”.

If you enjoyed this book, please go back to its page on Amazon.com and leave a review- I’d really appreciate it.

Thank you for reading my book!