A Hopeful Heart (10 page)

“Hi. I’m Trey Peterson. I was driving by and felt the need to come in and visit.”
Trey shook his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Bob Wingate. Welcome to Paradise Community Church. Are
you visiting the area?”

Trey shook his head. “I’m in the process of moving here from New Jersey. I’m searching
for the perfect location to open a bed and breakfast.”

“That sounds wonderful. My wife and I love to stay in bed and breakfasts instead of
hotels when we travel.”

“My wife did too.” Trey gestured around the sanctuary. “You have a lovely church here.
I was drawn in by the simplicity of the building and the cross.”

“Thank you. I’ve been the pastor here for about fifteen years, and God has blessed
me with a wonderful congregation. You should join us on a Sunday. I think you’ll feel
very welcome.”

“I’d like that. I’m looking for a new church home.” Trey looked up at the cross. “This
feels like it might be the place.”

“I felt the same way when I first visited here. There’s something about this sanctuary
that feels cozy, like you’re sitting in front of the fireplace on a cold winter’s
night.” The minister laughed. “Of course, I told my wife that, and she looked at me
as if I were crazy.”

“No, you’re not crazy at all. I felt that too. I’ve had a difficult time finding my
way lately, but somehow I think I’m finally on the right path.”

“That’s wonderful. I hope to see you Sunday morning. Service starts at ten.”

“I look forward to it.” Trey motioned toward the door. “I better get going. It was
nice meeting you.”

“You too.”

Trey started down the aisle toward the door.

“Trey,” the minister called after him.

Trey looked back at him. “Yes?”

“If you ever need anything, please let me know.” Bob approached him and handed him
a business card. “Call anytime.”

“Thank you.” He put the card in his pocket. “I appreciate that.”

Trey walked out to his car, looked up at the rainbow again, and smiled. Suddenly things
didn’t seem as grim as they had before.
No matter what, God keeps his promises.

L
ater that evening, Josh wiped his mouth and watched the twins carry the dishes to
the counter.

Hannah stood at the sink and began washing dishes. Her beautiful face had held a frown
that deepened the lines around her mouth during supper. A quiet demeanor replaced
her usual talkative personality. She listened as her children discussed their day,
but she had very little to say about hers. Something was wrong, and he had to find
out what it was.

Josh pushed his chair back from the table and crossed to the sink, where Hannah was
scrubbing a dish with such vigor that he thought it might break in half. “Hannah.”

She jumped when he spoke. “I’m sorry, Joshua. I didn’t hear you come up behind me.”

“You seem upset about something.”

“I’m fine.” She averted her eyes by studying the already clean pot she continued to
scrub.

“I’d like to talk to you alone.” He looked at the girls, who were busy talking while
cleaning the table. “
Maed
, can you take over the kitchen duties while I speak to your
mamm
in private?”

“
Ya
.” Amanda moved to the sink. “I’ll wash, and Lily can dry.”

Lillian frowned while watching Josh. “
Was iss letz?
”

Josh forced a smile. “I’m certain everything is fine.” He motioned toward the door.
“Why don’t we go talk out on the porch?”

Hannah hesitated. “I’m really fine.”

Josh raised an eyebrow and she sighed before following him outside to the porch.

“What’s going on?” He leaned against the railing. “You look really upset. Did something
happen at work? You know you don’t need to work. I think we can manage Daniel’s salary
just fine.”

“Work is fine.” Hannah folded her arms over her dress. “I don’t want to quit. I just
had a long day. It seemed everything I did went wrong.”

“You’ve had long and hard days before, and they didn’t end like this. What’s going
on, Hannah? You can talk to me.” He reached for her hand, and she stepped back. He
knew he was crossing a line, but he wanted to show her how much he cared for her.

“
Danki
, but I’m fine.” She paused, and he wondered if she was choosing her words to avoid
sharing too much. “I had to have an uncomfortable conversation today with someone.”

“What do you mean?”

She looked past him toward the barns. “You wouldn’t understand.”

The words stung, causing him to wince. “After all of these years, Hannah, why don’t
you trust me?”

“How could you say that?” She regarded him with annoyance. “I trust you. I’ve always
trusted you.”

“No, Hannah, you don’t.” He drew himself up straight and tall. “I’ve always been here,
but you continue to ignore me.”

“I don’t ignore you, Joshua. That’s not fair.”

“You’re right. It
isn’t
fair. I don’t know what else I can do to show you how much I care about you and the
kinner.
” Josh started toward the door. “I’m going to get Andrew, so we can put the horses
in for the night.” He stopped and faced her. “I forgot to tell you that Daniel King
will start working here first thing tomorrow. He checked with his parents and they
are fine with our arrangement.”

“
Gut.
” Hannah nodded but didn’t smile. “I know you need the help, and he’s a
gut bu.
”

“
Ya
, he is.” He gripped the doorknob and studied her, wishing he could find out why she
was so upset. “I’ll finish the chores and then head home.”

“That sounds
gut.
”

Josh studied her and his thoughts turned to Trey Peterson. “Does this have to do with
your
Englisher freind
?”

Hannah hesitated. She didn’t respond.

Jealousy and frustration consumed him. He’d thought he and Hannah had reached a deeper
friendship after he’d given her the gift last night. He’d believed that maybe, just
maybe, she’d see him as a suitor instead of just a friend and business partner. Yet
now he found himself right back where he was on Saturday—fighting a tug of war with
that
Englisher
to win her attention. Joshua wished Hannah had never met that man. If their paths
hadn’t crossed, then the stranger wouldn’t have had the chance to toy with her emotions
and ruin any chance he may have had with Hannah.

“I had a feeling it had something to do with that man. I don’t understand why you’ve
gotten so emotionally involved with someone you met while cleaning at the hotel.”
He shook
his head. “I wish you would quit that job. The business is doing fine. I keep telling
you there’s no reason why you have to keep working.”

“I want to work.” She said the words slowly, enunciating them.

“Fine.” He leaned in close to her, close enough to inhale the sweet scent of her lilac
shampoo. “Just remember that your fancy
Englisher freind
can’t give you the life I can. If you choose him, you’ll lose everything you have
here.” He gestured widely. “You’ll lose your farm and your place in the community.
If you choose him, you’ll have to walk away from everything you’ve ever loved, which
will create a mess for your
kinner.
Is that what you really want, Hannah?”

She stared at him wide-eyed, and then blinked her beautiful green eyes.

“I don’t think that’s what you really want. I can give you love and stability. If
you give me a chance, I can give you everything.” Josh pushed the door open. “Andrew!
Let’s go take care of the animals.”

Andrew rushed to the mudroom, where he pulled on his boots. He then hurried out the
back door to the porch. “I’m ready!” He stomped down the steps toward the barns.

“
Gut nacht.
” Josh followed his nephew down the steps while anger and frustration boiled through
his veins. He wondered how he was going to make Hannah forget the
Englisher
from the hotel. What did he need to do to get her attention?

“What’s wrong with
Mamm
?” Andrew slowed and fell into step with Josh. “She looked upset.”

“She’s fine.” Josh kept his eyes on the pasture. “She’s just upset about something
that happened at work, but it’s okay. Nothing to worry about.”

Andrew climbed up on the split-rail fence and whistled. “Come here, Huckleberry! Come
here,
bu
!” The horse trotted over, and Andrew rubbed his blaze and his neck. “You’re a
gut bu. Ya
, you are.”

Josh smiled. Regret filled him as he thought about his conversation with Hannah. Maybe
he was too rough on her. He missed Gideon every day, but he had no idea what kind
of grief Hannah had experienced after losing him. He needed to be her uplifter instead
of her castigator. He looked up at the clear sky, and silently asked God to guide
his relationship with Hannah. Even if he never won her heart, he hoped to keep her
friendship close.

Andrew smiled over at Josh while patting the horse. “Isn’t he the best horse,
Onkel
? I love him so much.”

“
Ya
, he is.” Josh started for the gate. “Let’s get these horses in the stable so we can
feed them.”

Andrew trotted behind him. “Okay.”

“Daniel King is going to start working with us tomorrow. Is that okay with you?” Josh
opened the gate.

“Oh,
ya.
” Andrew grinned. “Lillian will be
froh
since she has a crush on his
bruder.
”

Josh chuckled. “I guess she will be
froh.
”

Andrew started toward Huckleberry and then suddenly stopped and faced Josh. “I love
working on the farm with you,
Onkel.
I hope I can work on the farm with you and Daniel when I’m finished with school.”

“I love working here with you too, Andrew.” Josh smiled. “This is my favorite thing
to do.”

Hannah watched Joshua make his way down the porch steps behind Andrew. She wished
she could tell him the truth—that she’d been upset ever since she told Trey that they
couldn’t be friends. But she knew Joshua would only become agitated when he heard
she was still thinking about Trey.

She didn’t even understand why she was so upset. After all, she’d only known Trey
a couple of weeks and had only spoken to him a handful of times, but she still couldn’t
deny that it hurt. She couldn’t deny she missed their talks and the feeling of his
hand holding hers. She missed everything about him—his smile, his voice, and the smell
of his aftershave. She had fallen for him, and she knew she was doomed to live with
a broken heart after telling him that she couldn’t be his friend.

She spotted Andrew and Joshua talking near the pasture and she smiled. She loved seeing
her children interact with Joshua, and she wished she shared the same romantic feelings
he seemed to have for her. Yet she couldn’t force those feelings any more than she
couldn’t stop yearning for a relationship with Trey.

Perhaps I need to pray for God to guide my heart according to his plans.

She walked through the mudroom and entered the kitchen, where Amanda was sweeping
and Lillian was wiping the counter.

Lillian met her gaze, and her eyebrows knitted together. “Is everything all right,
Mamm
?”

“
Ya
, everything is fine. I just have a lot on my mind.” Hannah sat at the table. “I have
news about the farm. Why don’t you sit down with me, so we can talk?”

The girls sat across from her. Amanda smiled, and Lillian continued to frown. Her
girls often illustrated their stark differences through their expressions. Gideon
had summed their
differences up by saying Amanda was as positive as the morning sunshine while Lillian
was as worrisome as storm clouds brewing in the afternoon.

“Are we losing the farm,
Mamm
?” Lillian placed her hands flat on the table. “Please tell us everything. We can
handle it, right, Amanda?”

Amanda nodded, her smile fading. “
Ya
, we’re here for you,
Mamm.
”

Hannah smiled. “
Maed
, we’re not losing the farm. I just wanted to tell you that Daniel King is going to
start working here tomorrow. Your
onkel
spoke with him, and he’s agreed to take the job.”

“Oh.” Amanda glanced at Lillian and raised her eyebrows. “Maybe Leroy really
will
wind up working here too.”

Lillian’s cheeks burned a bright red while she avoided her sister’s look. “Was that
all you wanted to tell us?”

“
Ya
, that’s it.” Hannah nodded.

Lillian pushed her glasses up farther on her nose and stood. “May I go read a few
more pages before devotions? I’m really enjoying this
gut
mystery.”

“
Ya.
Go on and enjoy the quiet.” Hannah waved off the question. “I’ll call you when your
bruder
comes in.”

“
Danki.
” Lillian disappeared toward the staircase.

Hannah studied her blond daughter and smiled. “Did you have a
gut
day, Amanda?”

Amanda cupped her hand over her mouth to stifle a yawn. “I did.” She tilted her head.
“Are you upset that Daniel is going to start working here?”

Hannah shook her head. “No, I’m not upset about Daniel. I’m glad Joshua will finally
have some help.”

“Are you upset with
Onkel
Josh?”

“No.”

“Is there something else bothering you? Are you angry with Lily, Andrew, or me?”

Hannah frowned. She knew her daughter wouldn’t stop asking questions until she told
her what was burdening her. “I’m not really upset. I’m disappointed, but not with
anyone here in this
haus.
”

“Oh.” Amanda paused and nodded slowly, as if trying to understand her words. “I hope
whatever it is that’s bothering you gets better.”

“I do too,
mei liewe.
” Hannah touched Amanda’s hands. “I think it will.”

Amanda studied her mother. “May I ask you something?”

“Of course. You know you can ask me anything.”

Amanda hesitated before continuing. “Do you ever worry you’re feeling something you’re
not supposed to?”

Hannah studied Amanda’s questioning eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me because I’m not interested
in dating any of the
buwe
in our community. Nancy and Lillian are always talking about
buwe
and dating, but I’m not really worried about dating. It’s just not important to me
right now.”

“You mean you haven’t found the right
bu
yet?”

Amanda scrunched her nose. “That’s sort of what I mean.”

“Amanda, you’re only sixteen. You’ll meet the right
bu
when the time is right, and you don’t need to rush dating. You aren’t even baptized
yet. Don’t rush God’s plan for you. It will happen when it’s meant to happen.”

“Right.” Amanda forced a smile, which she always seemed to do when something was bothering
her—something she was afraid to share.

Hannah leaned forward. “Is something wrong, Amanda? You seem to have something on
your mind too.”

Amanda shrugged. “No, I’m okay. Nancy was teasing me about not liking anyone on Sunday,
and it’s been bugging me.”

Hannah smiled. “Does Nancy tease you like you tease Lily?”

Amanda smirked. “
Ya
, she does. I don’t mean to upset Lily when I tease her. I’m just joking, but I guess
I know how Lily feels now.”

“Don’t let Nancy bother you. You’ll find the right person someday. My
freind
Irma married a
bu
from another district and moved there. Maybe you’ll meet someone from another district
too.”

“
Ya
, maybe I will meet someone from another district. I have time.” Amanda pushed her
chair back from the table and stood. “I’m going to go see if
Onkel
Josh and Andrew need help. They always tell me I don’t need to help them, but I love
working with the horses. They don’t understand my love of animals. I’ll be back in
soon.”