A Life of Joy (6 page)
To her surprise, Jessica’s face turned crimson before she spun back around to the sink.
Lindsay was silent for a moment while she waited for Jessica to elaborate. When she didn’t speak, Lindsay racked her brain for something to say. “Haven’t Junior and Emma gotten big? Emma spoke her first sentence yesterday. She spoke in
Dietsch
of course. When
Aenti
Rebecca asked her if she wanted a —”
“I went to see Jake before I came here.” Jessica suddenly blurted out the words. “I couldn’t wait to see him, and I thought maybe he’d be happy for me.” Her voice trembled. “But he was really hurt. I don’t think he’ll ever speak to me again.” She faced Lindsay, and tears streamed down her pink cheeks.
“It’s okay.” Lindsay rushed over to Jessica and handed her a napkin. “I’m sure he’ll get over it.” She rubbed Jessica’s arm as she wiped her face.
“I doubt it.” Jessica shook her head. “He said that everything is all about me and he’s been waiting for me for years. Jake doesn’t understand how this is the biggest and most exciting opportunity of my life. He pretty much told me off and left me standing on the sidewalk, so I drove around for a while and tried to figure out what to do.” Jessica threw her hands up with defeat. “I don’t think there’s anything I can do except let it go. I mean, this internship isn’t going to come around again, so if he really cares about me, he’ll have to get over it.”
Lindsay frowned. “Have you thought about apologizing to him?”
“Apologize for what?” Jessica frowned. “It’s my life, Linds. I’m doing the best I can without Mom and Dad. I know that they would want me to work hard and be independent. If he can’t understand that, then I guess he doesn’t understand me.”
Lindsay opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by her little cousins running and shrieking their way around the kitchen table and then back out to the family room.
Rebecca followed slowly behind them with a smile on her face. “I wish I had just a tiny portion of their boundless energy.” Her gaze met Jessica’s and she gave a concerned look. “Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah.” Jessica waved off the question. “I was just sharing a story with Lindsay.” She turned back to the sink. “Supper was delicious, by the way.”
“I did all of the cooking.” Lindsay grabbed a towel and began drying the dishes in the rack.
“Wow,” Jessica said while she scrubbed a pot. “You’re little Miss Suzy Homemaker, huh?”
Lindsay glowered. Why did her sister always have to make sarcastic comments about her domestic skills? She glanced at Rebecca who gave her an expression that told her to let it go.
“I’ll wipe off the table,” Rebecca offered.
“No,” Lindsay said with a shake of her head. “You go rest. You look exhausted.”
Rebecca sighed. “I hate to admit you’re right, but you are. I’ll be in the
schtupp
.” She slowly moved from the kitchen toward the family room.
“Is she all right?” Jessica asked softly once Rebecca was gone.
“I don’t know.” Lindsay shook her head as worry filled her. “She’s been really tired lately. But you remember what a hard worker she is. It’s difficult to get her to slow down at all.”
“I hope she’s not coming down with something.” Suddenly Jessica’s expression brightened. “Tell me all about your life. How’s the bakery? How’s that handsome Matthew doing? Has he asked to give you a ride home yet?”
Lindsay swatted her sister with the towel. “Matthew is just a friend.”
Jessica gave her a look of disbelief. “Yeah. Sure! And I’m the Queen of Sheba.”
Lindsay laughed and couldn’t help but think how good it was to have her sister back, even if it was only for a short weekend.
Rebecca stood in the doorway of Emma’s room and watched while Jessica rocked Emma in the chair and quietly read her a story. Emma yawned and soon her eyes closed while the chair slowly moved back and forth and her older cousin’s voice whispered the words to Emma’s favorite book.
Rebecca’s heart filled with warmth as she thought of her two nieces and how much they’d grown since they’d come to live with her and Daniel four years ago. Although it had broken Rebecca’s heart when she’d allowed Jessica to move back to Virginia and live with friends, she’d known that it was God’s will for the girl.
And now Jessica was all grown up. She was a beautiful young lady and about to embark on an exciting and challenging journey. Rebecca prayed that God would be with her and guide her this summer in the big city.
“You’re asleep,” Jessica whispered to Emma. “I guess I should put you in your bed, huh?” She glanced up at Rebecca and smiled.
Rebecca crossed the room and took Emma in her arms. After whispering good night in her ear, she placed her baby in her crib and covered her with a small quilt. “She’s worn out from a busy day of play.”
Jessica grinned. “I can see that.” She followed Rebecca out of the room.
Rebecca closed the door behind them. “I think the children enjoyed having you read their stories tonight.”
“Oh, it was fun.” Jessica nodded toward Junior’s room. “I can’t get over how big he is. Emma too. They grow so fast.”
“
Ya
, they do. Sometimes it seems like it’s too fast.” Rebecca motioned toward Lindsay’s room across the hall. “Lindsay insisted that you take her room and she’ll sleep in with Emma.”
“She didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it.” Jessica stepped into Lindsay’s room and yawned. “I think I may turn in early. I’m worn out from the drive.”
Rebecca leaned in the doorway and watched her niece fish through her duffel bag and pull out a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. “How are you, Jessica?”
“Fine.” Jessica continued to dig, revealing a bottle of shampoo, a toothbrush, and toothpaste.
“Are you certain?” Rebecca stepped into the room and sank into a chair in front of the bed. “You seemed upset earlier. You know you can talk to me, ya?”
Jessica sat on the bed, hugging her sweatpants to her chest. “On my way here today, I stopped to see Jake at the store.”
“Oh?” Rebecca smoothed the skirt of her dress. “How is he?”
Looking frustrated, Jessica shook her head. “Upset with me. He didn’t take my news about going to New York well at all.”
“He’s hurt that you’re going?”
“Yes, he is.” Jessica sniffed and cleared her throat. “He said
that it’s always all about me, and he’s been waiting for me for four years.”
“It’s not easy for him to let you go.” Rebecca smiled. “Maybe he’s afraid you’ll stay in New York, and he’ll lose you.”
“I wish he could see that this isn’t about trying to be independent or breaking away from something that’s holding me back.” Jessica shook her head. “Well, maybe I am trying to be independent. Anyway, this is an opportunity for me to earn college credit and build up my résumé, but he doesn’t see that side of it. All he chooses to understand is that I’m abandoning him.”
“Or breaking a promise.”
Jessica’s eyes widened. “Breaking a promise?” Her voice rose and shook with resentment. “I’m just spending a summer in New York City. Besides, we’ve never even officially declared ourselves a couple. We’re just close friends. I’ve never promised him more than that.”
Rebecca leaned over and patted Jessica’s knee. “I know you don’t mean to hurt him, but he was really looking forward to seeing you this summer. He asks about you all the time.”
“He does?” Jessica looked surprised.
“Don’t act so shocked, Jessica.” Rebecca wagged a finger at her. “You know how he feels about you. It’s written all over his face. You need to see beyond your own wants and needs and just consider how much this is hurting him. Come to a compromise.”
Looking defeated, Jessica nodded. “I guess you’re right.”
Rebecca stood and cupped her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. “Excuse me. I think I’m going to go to bed.”
“Are you feeling okay?”
“
Ya
, I’m fine. I’m just getting old.” She started for the door. “You go ahead and take your shower. You remember where everything is.”
“Thanks,” Jessica said. As Rebecca moved out the door, Jessica called to her. “Aunt Rebecca. Wait.”
Rebecca faced her.
“Do you think I should stay here and work for Yoder’s this summer?” Her eyes implored Rebecca, as if begging Rebecca to give her blessing for Jessica’s plans.
Rebecca paused, carefully choosing her words. “You’re a very brave and driven young woman. I admire your courage, and I know that your mother would be very proud of you. I think you know what you want, and you’re going after it with a tenacity that I never had.”
“But you think I should forget my plans to go to New York and stay here instead,” Jessica said simply.
“No, I didn’t say that.” Rebecca placed her hand on the doorknob as a wave of exhaustion overwhelmed her. “I think that you’re making the right choice for you, given the circumstances. You have a place to stay and a friend who will help look after you. But I think you need to remember that your choices affect those who are close to you.”
“Like Jake,” Jessica whispered.
1 – 4 oz. pkg. ground pecans
3 reg. boxes instant butterscotch or chocolate pudding
1 large container whipped topping
1 – 8 oz. cream cheese
1 stick butter
1 cup flour
1 cup 10x sugar
1 can coconut
First layer:
½ pkg. ground pecans mixed with flour and butter. Press on bottom of 9x13 inch pan. Bake 350° for 20 minutes. Cool.
Second layer:
Mix cream cheese, 10x sugar, and ½ of whipped topping. Spread over crust. Then sprinkle with ½ can coconut and ½ chopped nuts.
Third layer:
Mix pudding with 5 cups cold milk. Spread over 2nd layer. Top with remaining topping. Sprinkle remaining coconut and nuts. Freeze. Remove 1 hour before serving. Cut while frozen.
L
indsay weaved through the knot of friends and family members milling about in Rebecca’s family room the following evening. Saturday night was a night for the Kauffmans to visit, and Rebecca had suggested that they host the gathering and make it a party for Jessica.
Stepping into the kitchen, Lindsay surveyed the counter full of covered dishes and desserts, making certain there was enough food for the crowd. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find Jessica standing behind her.
“Hey,” Jessica said over the conversations circling around them.
“Hi,” Lindsay said. “Having fun?”
Jessica shrugged. “Yeah. Sure. Listen, I wanted to talk to you. We haven’t had a chance to really sit down and talk since I’ve been here. I fell asleep early last night, and we did nothing but cook and bake today.”
Lindsay gestured toward the back door. “You want to go out on the back porch?”
“Sounds good,” Jessica said.
Lindsay stepped out onto the porch and spotted the younger Kauffman children running in the pasture and playing tag. She searched the group of children for Katie and Nancy but didn’t see them. Aunt Sadie said that they would be coming along shortly, and Lindsay hoped that they would. Lizzie Anne hadn’t
arrived yet either, and Lindsay wanted her best friends to see her sister before she headed to New York.
“I haven’t been hugged so much in a long time,” Jessica said as she dropped into the swing while holding a plate full of desserts. “It took me nearly twenty minutes just to cross the family room because I kept getting pulled into a hug or a handshake.”
Jessica bit into a whoopie pie, causing Lindsay to think of her visit with Matthew a week ago. Lindsay idly wondered if Matthew would come to the party with Samuel and his sisters.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Jessica said between bites of the whoopie pie. “Mmmm. This is delicious. Can I pack some of these to go?”
“Sure,” Lindsay said, swatting the ties of her prayer covering back behind her shoulders. “You can take any of the leftover food. I’ll pack it up for you.”
“Kim would love these.” Jessica finished the little cake and licked her fingers. “So, where’s your boyfriend?”
Lindsay glowered with exasperation. “He’s not my boyfriend.” She faced her sister. “You really should go see Jake before you leave. I don’t think you left things very well with him.”
Jessica opened her mouth to speak and then her expression softened. “You’re right. I should.”
Lindsay gave her a look of disbelief. “You’re not going to argue with me?”
Jessica chuckled. “Am I really that bad?”
“Well …” Lindsay let her thought trail off, and Jessica shook her head in response.
“Rebecca said something similar to me last night, so I know you’re right.”
Stunned, Lindsay blinked.
Jessica’s listening to
Aenti
Rebecca? How did this happen?
“Don’t look so surprised.” Jessica glanced out toward the pasture and the children. “They look like they’re having fun.”
“Ya, they get along well.”
“You don’t have to talk Dutch to me.” Jessica lifted a chocolate chip cookie from the plate. “You want anything?”