A Life Restored (33 page)

Thomas’s mouth went completely dry at the sight of her.
 
Her rosy cheeks glowed with an alluring iridescence.
 
Her lips were more pink than he remembered.
 
Her flashing green eyes sent his pulse pounding vigorously through his veins.

As her gaze traveled down to his injured leg, he let his travel down to her swollen waist line.
 
It was bigger than he remembered, confirming the rumor Perry heard.
 
She was with child.

His child.

His heart felt overwhelmed with the burden he placed on her.
 
He hobbled as quickly as he could to stand directly in front of her.

“Caroline,” he whispered, taking her left hand in his right.
 
“I came as soon as I could.
 
I’m sorry it was too long.”

Her eyes darted away from his but not before he noticed the light sheen.
 
“I must tell you—”

“I want to speak to you first.
 
Can you leave for a while?
 
Come take a walk with me.”

“I—”

Abraham’s voice drowned hers out.
 
“Go.”

Thomas offered her his arm and carefully led her out of the mercantile.
 
There were a few wooden benches randomly dotting the brilliant green of the town square.
 
He picked the closest one and helped her sit down before he took a seat next to her.
 
Though he wanted to see her eyes as he spoke, his leg begged him to rest.

“It has hurt me more than I could explain—having been away from you for so long.
 
I know how it must have looked to you and I am sorry.”

“Where have you been?”

“On Perry Quinn’s ranch, getting well after a horrible accident.
 
When I last saw you…”
 
He noted the red splotching her cheeks.
 
“I was wrong for what I did, Caroline.
 
All I could think of was returning as quickly as I could to marry you—to make things right.

“I was so eager to return that I acted foolishly.
 
I took off and tried to head up the mountain even though a snow storm blew in.
 
I just had to get back to you and I wasn’t thinking.

“Then, my horse spooked.
 
I couldn’t control her and she went over the side of the mountain.
 
I fell a good ways too.

“Perry cared for me better than a brother.
 
He did the best he could to mend my leg.
 
Unfortunately, the snow storm kept him from getting to a doctor when I needed one the most.
 
By the time I saw a doctor, my leg was already forming into the shape it is now.”

Thomas paused, staring at her profile.
 
She looked straight ahead.
 
Then she turned glistening eyes toward him.
 
His heart broke at the pain there.

“I didn’t think you were coming back.”

“Oh, Caroline.
 
I wanted nothing more.”

He shifted sideways, propping his good leg on the bench.
 
Then he took both her hands in his.
 
He wanted to get down on one knee, but that would be far too difficult.

“I know I have nothing to offer you right now—nothing more than my name—but I willingly offer it to you and to our child.”

She gasped.
 
“What are you saying?”

“I have no job.
 
I can’t ride anymore.
 
But, I will find something, some way to support us.
 
Will you be my wife?”

Caroline’s tongue felt like dead weight inside her mouth.
 
He was offering her exactly what she hoped.
 
He was offering her marriage.
 
Though it sounded like that was all he offered.

What about love?
 
Did he care for her?

Old fears clawed at her, forcing her to listen.
 
He didn’t share the same faith.
 
They would be unequally yoked.
 
But, it was his child.
 
He would give her the security of marriage.
 
He would be by her side to raise their child.

“You own my heart.
 
You carry my child.
 
Please, share my life.”

He did love her.
 
Weren’t those things enough?

“Tell me, what is holding you back?”

She couldn’t understand her own reasoning at this point. She doubted he would understand.
 
If she were wise, she would keep her fears to herself and gleefully accept his offer.
 
But she couldn’t.
 
Would it be better to raise her child alone than to be married to someone who didn’t believe what she did?
 
It was her mistake that put her in this position.
 
Making a second mistake would not make it right.

“What about faith?
 
We don’t share the same faith.”
 
She looked down at her hands.

Thomas placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face.
 
“But we do.”

She searched his eyes.
 
Could it be true?

“We do,” he said again.

“Then, yes.
 
I’ll marry you!”

He pulled her to him, lightly sweeping his lips across hers.
 
The sweet touch sent fire burning from her lips to her stomach.
 
She sensed he was holding back.

“I’ll speak with Reverend Page tomorrow.
 
Given the circumstances, would you prefer a quick wedding?”

She nodded.

“Next Saturday you and I will start our life together.”

One week.
 
Just one week and she would have what she had been begging God for.
 
She would marry Thomas.
 
Everything would work out just fine.

Chapter 34

A week later, Caroline stood next to Thomas in front of Reverend Page and a small group of family and friends.
 
As the reverend spoke of the importance of love, she let her mind wander.
 
The only part of this scene that matched what she dreamed of since childhood was that Julia stood by her side.
 
Nothing else turned out the way she expected.

She was in a town in the middle of the vast Arizona wilderness.
 
She glanced at the man who was to become her husband in just a few minutes.
 
She still knew so little about him.
 
But, she carried his child.

Her only family present was Adam.
 
He sat in the front, looking none too pleased about the situation.
 
Mama and Papa were hundreds of miles away in Texas.
 
They would be so disappointed in her.

Blinking rapidly, she tried to keep her melancholy thoughts away.
 
This was her wedding day.
 
Despite the odd way it arrived, she loved Thomas.
 
She wanted to be his wife.
 
They would make a fine home together and share a happy life.

A cool breeze tickled the back of her neck.
 
Since there were only a few guests—the Lancasters, Larsons, and Abraham Conrad—Betty offered the grassy area between the dining hall and house for the ceremony.
 
The weather was perfect in the shade.

Reverend Page started the part of the ceremony where she would agree to love and cherish her husband—an easy promise to make.
 
The words came from her mouth, yet she felt as if she were watching the scene unfold as if she was not a part of it.
 
Thomas smiled at her as he spoke his words of commitment.

Then, quicker than she imagined, Reverend Page introduced them as Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Anderson.
 
She smiled and glanced over at Thomas.
 
He wore a smile masked over concern.
 
Perhaps this wasn’t what he imagined his wedding day would be like either.

Betty ushered the small gathering into the dining room in the house.
 
She instructed Thomas and Caroline to sit on one side.
 
Julia and Adam sat across from them.
 
Paul sat at the head of the table, Betty at the foot.
 
Abraham Conrad wished them well, returning to the mercantile instead of staying for the meal.

After Paul led them in a beautiful blessing, he asked Thomas, “Any luck finding a more permanent job?”

Thomas nodded.
 
“I start at the saw mill on Monday.”

Though she didn’t know her husband very well yet, she did pick up on the edge of concern in his voice.
 
Paul must have as well.

“Worried your leg will bother you?”

“Yes.
 
It was hard enough to help you around here last week with some of the repairs to the bunkhouses.
 
I’m not sure how standing most of the day will affect me.
 
Hopefully, I’ll adjust quickly.”

She reached for his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.
 
She loved how comfortable he seemed talking to Paul about his fears.
 
Perhaps they were even better friends than she realized.

“Where will you live?” Julia asked.

Caroline answered, “Above the mercantile for now.
 
Abraham said we can stay there until I stop working.
 
We thought it would be best for me to keep my job until the baby comes.”

“That’s good.
 
Are you finding time to start making things for the baby?”

Caroline sighed.
 
“Not as much as I would like.
 
I’m so tired when I finish working at the store at the end of the day that I haven’t sewn much.”

“Dear, we’ll make sure you have everything you need,” Betty said.
 
“Sometimes it seems like forever before a child arrives, but then it is gone before you know it.
 
I’ve been working on items for both you and Julia.
 
Oh, and one item for Hannah, even though she should have plenty from James’s birth.”

“I heard that Mrs. Avery may have some baby things,” Paul added.
 
“Maybe she would be willing to loan you a few items?”

“That’s a wonderful idea!” Betty exclaimed.
 
“I’ll speak to her for you.”

Caroline nodded.
 
As the conversation moved on to other topics, some of her sadness returned.
 
She doubted very many brides spoke of similar things on their wedding day.

Once the meal finished, she and Thomas walked to their small room above the mercantile—their home.
 
Paul greeted them at the bottom of the stairs.

“I took all of your things up already,” he said to Thomas before wishing them both a good evening.

“Shall we?” Thomas asked.

Caroline inched up the stairs next to him as he braced one hand against the outside wall next to the stairs.
 
His other hand clutched his cane with a tight grip.
 
He stepped up with his right leg, then brought his left leg up to the same stair before moving on to the next.
 
It was painful to watch how he struggled.
 
And he would have to do this daily.

At the top he paused to catch his breath.
 
Then he held the door open for her.
 
Once inside, she turned to face him.

The look in his eyes sent her heart fluttering.
 
He closed the door and leaned his cane against the wall.
 
Then he pulled her to him.

“You look amazing, wife.”

He lowered his head to her lips and hungrily kissed her sending waves of heat through her body.
 
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed close.
 
She returned his kiss with fervor.
 
He broke his lips from hers and began trailing kisses along her neck as he lodged his hand in her hair.

“Help me with these blasted hair pins,” he whispered near her ear.

She reached up and unpinned her hair faster than ever before.
 
Once it was free, Thomas ran his hands through her hair.
 
His lips covered hers again as he started shuffling her towards the bed.

The next morning, Thomas woke to Caroline’s light touch on his bare chest.

“So many scars,” she murmured.

“So many brushes with death.”

“From the war?”

He rolled onto his side to face her.
 
“Yes.”

“You were a Union soldier?”

Thomas frowned.
 
Had he never told her about his time in the war?

“For a while.
 
Then I became a dispatch rider, carrying messages from colonel to colonel.
 
Eventually, I rode for generals.”

She pointed toward his scars.
 
“Was it painful?”

“Each one was, yes.
 
Some healed quickly.
 
Some took longer.”

Not as long as my invisible scars.
 
Those were still healing.

Her green eyes softened.
 
Then they lit with mischief.
 
“Hungry?”

“Ravenous.
 
I don’t recall my wife serving me supper last night.”

Pink colored her cheeks.
 
“I don’t recall my husband complaining either.”

He grinned at their light banter and this new side to Caroline he hadn’t seen before.

She rolled her eyes and made a great labored show of leaving the bed.
 
“I suppose I’d best feed you, then.”

He watched as she readied herself for the day.
 
As she moved toward the kitchen, he hurriedly slid from the bed, trying to keep his bad leg from her sight in case she happened to turn around.
 
He managed to hide it from her last night.
 
The long ugly scar on his leg shamed him.
 
For as long as he could, he wanted to shield her from it.

Once he was dressed, he took a seat at the table.
 
Caroline placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him.
 
Then she sat across from him and bowed her head.
 
He bowed his head as well, waiting several uncomfortable seconds for her to pray.

“Thomas?”

He opened his eyes and glanced at her.
 
Her head remained bowed and her eyes closed.
 
She expected him to say grace.
 
Clearing his throat he tried not to panic.
 
What had his pa always said at meal times?
 
He had no idea.

Lamely, he offered up what he hoped was an acceptable prayer.
 
At his “amen,” Caroline looked up and smiled at him.

After breakfast, they attended Sunday services, still being held at Lancaster’s.
 
Several of the church members congratulated Thomas and Caroline on their wedding.
 
Hannah was one of them, though her offer was couched in warning—that he should take good care of Caroline.
 
Other church members snubbed them, probably because of the circumstance surrounding the rushed wedding.

Thomas shrugged it off as he and Caroline returned to their home.

Taking a seat in one of the rocking chairs, Caroline chatted as she sewed some tiny garment.
 
“Tell me about your life before the war.
 
I know so little about it.”

His heart picked up pace at her innocent question.
 
He was not sure how much he wanted to tell her about that life or if she would understand.

“I lived in Cincinnati, Ohio.
 
My mother passed when I was very young.
 
My father owned a mercantile.
 
I went to school like every good lad.
 
There’s not much to tell.”
 
Liar.

“What about your brother?
 
Did you get along?”

Thomas snorted before he could catch himself.
 
“There was a time that we did and a time that we did not.”

The silence stretched uncomfortably.
 
When he glanced at Caroline, he noted her wrinkled brow.
 
Somehow his answers upset her.

Hoping to change that look on her face, he asked, “What about you?
 
Do you get along with your brother?”

That did the trick.
 
She talked for the next half hour about her large family—two older brothers and three younger sisters.
 
She told him how she and Adam and Julia spent a great deal of time together growing up.
 
On and on she went, until it was time to prepare supper.

He didn’t mind her long conversation.
 
He actually enjoyed hearing about her family.
 
They were his family now.
 
And it kept her from asking more about his past.