A Life Restored (32 page)

Her eyes burned as the tears shoved their way forward.
 
She was guilty too.
 
She had done things she should not have and she carried around too much guilt for it.

“Oh,” Betty said.
 
“Do you need me to pray for you, dear?”

The tears ran rivers down her face as she nodded.

“Lord,” Betty started as she grabbed both of Caroline’s hands in hers.
 
“Caroline needs to know that you forgive her for her mistakes.
 
She needs to know that you still love her.
 
Help her to trust you with Thomas and with her unborn child as she turns her heart back to you.
 
She’s heard the call of your voice—I can see it in her eyes—gently beckoning her back to you.
 
She loves you even though she’s been a little lost for a while.
 
Wrap her in your loving arms and help her to look to you and let go of the shame she is hiding.
 
In Jesus’ precious name.
 
Amen.”

Silently in her heart, Caroline asked God to forgive her for letting Thomas be with her.
 
She asked him to forgive her for lying to her parents and for not waiting for Millie and her father to escort her to Prescott.
 
She poured out all of the lies and plans and mistakes of the last year and laid them at her Father’s feet.

Slowly, as she kept her eyes shut, she began to feel something within her heal.
 
Pain and brokenness were replaced with peace—a soft, gentle feeling that she hoped would never leave.
 
When she opened her eyes, Betty smiled at her.

“He loves you, dear.
 
And He will never leave you.
 
Not even when you think all is lost.”

Caroline believed Betty.
 
She even felt it deep within her heart.

Suddenly, it didn’t matter what the townsfolk said about her.
 
It didn’t matter what names they called her or what looks they gave her.
 
It didn’t matter if Thomas never returned or if he came back tomorrow.

She wasn’t alone anymore.
 
Well, she had never been alone.
 
God had been with her all the way.
 
She saw that now.
 
He had been there when she needed rescued after the stage robbery.
 
He had been there when she yielded to temptation by spending the night with Thomas.
 
He had been there through everything.
 
It was just her own stubbornness that blinded her from seeing he was always there.

Lord, I want to change.
 
I want to be different.
 
I want to always remember you are here and that you love me.
 
I don’t want this peace to leave.

She looked into Betty’s eyes—the deep glowing eyes of a woman who walked closely with the Lord.
 
I want to be like her.
 
Always putting others before myself.
 
Always close to You.

Betty reached out and patted her hand again before standing.
 
“Best get supper started for the house boarders.
 
They’ll be looking for something soon.”

Caroline smiled.

“Why don’t you stay and eat with us?”

“I’d like that.”

Chapter 33

For the first time in five months, Thomas set sight on the precious town of Prescott, though not on horseback.
 
Instead he sat on the wagon seat next to Perry with his good leg bent at the knee and his bad leg stretched out straight, throbbing with each bump and jostle.

Five long months.
 
The town had grown considerably since he left in December.
 
He had changed even more than the town.

He inhaled the fresh pine scented air, letting it fill the depths of his lungs.
 
He missed that ever-present fragrance almost as much as he missed Caroline.

The thought of her caused his gaze to drift to Hardy’s mercantile.
 
Richard McCormick, the Secretary of Territory, entered with his wife Margaret.
 
Thomas wondered briefly how they would react to seeing Caroline and if she was able to conceal her secret any longer.

Everything within him screamed at him to jump down from the wagon and run into the mercantile, sweeping her into his arms.
 
But, jumping and running were foreign acts now.
 
Walking took plenty of effort.
 
Besides, he needed to see Craig Roundtree first.

As Perry pulled the wagon to a stop in front of the livery, Thomas slowly climbed down.
 
When his left leg hit the ground, he grunted from the sharp pain that shot through it.
 
It passed soon enough.
 
Reaching over the side of the wagon, he grabbed his cane.
 
Perry came around to his side to face him.

“Thank you for all you have done for me, Perry.
 
I owe you more than I could ever repay.”

“Take care of her.
 
Treat her well.
 
And you will have done enough to satisfy the debt.”

The two men embraced awkwardly for a fraction of a minute.
 
Thomas wished Perry well before he turned to face the livery.

Nothing changed about the livery.
 
It still looked the same.
 
Yet, for some reason, Thomas found himself wanting to take in every detail—almost as if he didn’t trust that he would see it again for another five months.

Shaking off his trepidation, he pushed the door open and stepped in.

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” Craig’s voice boomed from elsewhere.
 
When he rounded the corner and came into full view of the entry, he stopped suddenly.
 
“Well I’ll be!
 
Thomas Anderson!”

“Craig.”

Craig closed the distance and slapped him hard on the shoulder.
 
“You’re alive.”

“And still kicking most of the time.”

“Tell me what happened.
 
Where you been?”

Thomas shuffled his feet before answering.
 
The long ride made his leg stiffer than it had been in weeks.
 
He slowly paced back and forth to get it loosened up while he told Craig about the accident that nearly took his life.

“Been at Perry Quinn’s ranch since.”

“Good to have you back and in one piece.”

Thomas nodded.

An uncomfortable silence settled between them.
 
Thomas struggled with what exactly he might say knowing his position with the express had already been filled.
 
Not that it mattered much.
 
He couldn’t mount a horse, much less ride it across miles of open desert.

“Look,” Craig started.
 
“I didn’t know if you were coming back or not.
 
Mr. Vincent was pressuring me to get the line going again.
 
Since he owns the express, I was in a rough spot.
 
Had to hire someone to take over.”

“I understand.”
 
He did.
 
It just hurt to know that he would never do the job he was made to do ever again.

“If you’re planning on staying in the area, Lount and Noyles are always looking for more men down at the sawmill.
 
It’s on the bank of Granite Creek, just a few minutes from town.”

“Thanks, Craig.
 
Can I tell them you sent me?”

“Sure.
 
Be happy to recommend you.”

He turned toward the door.

“Glad to know you’re okay,” Craig said before wishing him well.

Once outside, Thomas let out a heavy sigh.
 
He really wasn’t okay.
 
He was torn up inside.
 
He’d been trying to figure out what he would do once he got here.
 
He had no plan, so he appreciated Craig’s suggestion.

As he walked across the street to the boardinghouse, he lifted a brief prayer heavenward, asking God to show him what to do—something he had forgotten until now.

Searching the grounds, he tried to figure out where Betty might be.
 
He walked toward the house he helped Paul build, thinking that might be the best place to start.
 
As he neared the bottom of the porch stairs, Paul emerged from the building.

“Thomas!”

Bounding down the stairs, the much taller and beefier Paul swallowed Thomas in an embrace.
 
“You’re alive!”

Apparently, everyone must have thought him dead, Thomas thought.

“Yes.
 
Finally well enough to come home.”

Betty dashed out of the house.
 
“What’s all this racket—Thomas!”

It was her turn to squeeze him with a hug tighter than any he remembered from his mother.
 
She placed her hands on the side of his face as she stepped back.
 
“Let me look at you.”
 
Her gaze swept all over his face, stopping on his eyes.

“I know that look.”
 
She pulled him into a gentler embrace.
 
“Welcome to the family.”

Thomas stammered as he extracted himself from her arms.
 
“Fa—family?”

“The family of God.
 
I see it in your eyes.”

He shook his head, baffled by her astuteness.

Paul took his hand and pumped it up and down in a shake.
 
“That’s wonderful.
 
It really is.”

“Come,” Betty said as she ushered him up the stairs and into the house.
 
“Sit and tell us everything.”

He sat at the kitchen table, stretching out his bad leg.
 
He rested his cane against the nearest wall.
 
Then he started telling her and Paul everything that happened—even his strange dream about Drew.
 
Then he told them about the conversation with Craig.

“I feel a little lost now,” he admitted.
 
“I need to find a job so I can provide for Caroline.”

“Do you plan to marry her?”
 
Paul asked.

“Yes.
 
If she will still have me.”

Betty smiled knowingly, yet said nothing.

“I could use some help around here for a few days.
 
Maybe even a week,” Paul said.
 
“Got a lot of odd jobs that need taking care of.
 
Interested?”

“I suppose.
 
I need to take some time to find something permanent.”

“Great.”

Betty said, “I’ll ready one of the lower bunks in the Mother Lode for you.”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“When are you going to see Caroline?” she asked.

“Soon as possible.”

“So the rumors
are
true,” Margaret McCormick said as she approached the display Caroline was working on.

Thinking Margaret was referring to her condition, as everyone seemed intent on doing these days, she moved to the side.
 
She lowered her head and her voice.
 
“Yes.”

“You do have a shipment of hats from San Francisco!”

Caroline’s head snapped up.
 
Margaret wasn’t looking at her at all.
 
Instead, she grabbed her husband’s hand and pulled him close to the display of hats.

“Just look at these, Richard.
 
Very fashionable.”

Caroline stepped away and ran to hide her protruding belly behind the counter before anyone really made a comment about her.
 
Heat flamed her cheeks.
 
She should have known Margaret would not participate in idle gossip.
 
She was much too kind for that.

Being forgiven by God and being forgiven by the townsfolk seemed to be two entirely different matters.
 
As she approached the fifth month of her pregnancy, her body changed.
 
It seemed the little one wanted more and more room.
 
It was getting more difficult to hide.

“Caroline,” Margaret called her name as Richard moved to the other side of the store.
 
“Would you be so kind as to help me?”

She nodded and hurried to Margaret’s side.

Margaret spoke softly.
 
“I apologize for my double meaning earlier.
 
It was not my intent to embarrass you.
 
I wanted to see how you are faring.
 
You have become quite dear to me.”

“I am faring well enough.”
 
She kept her voice low.

“And the father?
 
Will he do the right thing?”

Caroline looked away.
 
“I don’t know where he is.”

“Ah.
 
But you love him very much.”

She nodded, trying to choke back her tears.
 
She loved him.
 
She missed him.
 
She ached for him to return.

“I shall keep you in my prayers.”

“Thank you.”

Margaret’s next statement was said much louder, for all the customers to hear.
 
“Don’t you think this hat is just perfect for me?”

Caroline smiled.
 
“It suits you well.”

“Then I must have it.
 
Tell me, are you accomplished with a needle?”

She nodded.

“Perhaps, if I left you something extra, you would be able to sew me a matching reticule?”

“I would be delighted to,” Caroline answered, knowing full well that Margaret had skill enough of her own.

Lowering her voice again, Margaret said, “Something for you to put away for the future.”

A humbled smile stretched across Caroline’s lips.
 
Margaret was truly generous, thinking of her needs.
 
She wondered if a matching reticule were even that important to Margaret.

“Are you ready, my dear?” Richard McCormick asked, coming alongside his wife.

“Yes, dear husband.”

Slipping her hand into the crook of her husband’s arm, Margaret wished Caroline a good day.

She waved farewell.
 
Just as she started to turn, a familiar face appeared in the doorway that the McCormicks just vacated.

She blinked—not certain she wasn’t dreaming of those blue eyes and sandy brown hair and that infectious grin that stole her heart long ago.

“Thomas.”
 
The name fell from her lips like a soft downy feather.

She broke her eyes from his intense gaze, dropping hers to the cane in his hand.
 
His left leg curved oddly to one side, the damage visible despite being shrouded in trousers.
 
A wound like that must have taken a long time to heal.

Then it dawned on her.
 
None of the rumors were true.
 
He hadn’t stayed away because he wanted to.
 
He was not able to return before now.

She looked back up into those perfect blue eyes.
 
They told her what she hoped to hear.
 
He loved her and he came back for her.