A Lighter Shade of Blue (Kings of Chaos Book 2) (4 page)

I reach for the light.

She grabs my hand. “Please don’t,” she says in a low whisper.

“Are you shy, baby? You don’t need to be.” I run my hand through her thick hair. It’s softer than I imagined it would be. Pulling her to me, I sample her lips. She tastes sweet, and her kisses are hesitant. I savor her inexperience, coaxing her to open her mouth as I teach her how to use her tongue. My dick is straining against my jeans. I want to strip her bare and plunge into her tight center, but I know I need to go slow. Cupping her face, I make sure she feels the words I can’t say. She moans into my mouth and I feel like I’m on top of the world. I never expected things to progress this swiftly. Her boldness is impressive.

She slowly runs her hands up my arms and wraps them around my neck.

I pull her onto my lap and deepen the kiss. As she plays with the hair at my nape I shiver. It’s everything I imagined and more. Her warm weight is a welcome addition and my cock twitches in my pants, straining to get closer to the heat I can feel through my jeans. I take my time undressing her, wishing I could turn on the light. She’s young, and probably nervous. I have to respect that.

I’m going to teach you everything I know.

We strip down, piling our clothes in small heaps around the bed.

Her skin feels silky smooth. “Are you sure about this, Blue? There’s no rush,” I ask as I kneel between her legs.

“I-I want to feel you inside me, Shadow,” her voice is still in whisper mode. “Make me forget there was ever anyone else.”

The news stuns me.
She’s not a virgin?
I’m thrown.
It doesn’t matter. I’ll make her forget about anyone else.

She sits up and reaches out to wrap her hand around my base.

Rational thought leaves my mind. I thrust forward into her hand, moaning as she squeezes me tight and finds the perfect rhythm. “You better stop that or it’ll be over before it begins.”

“You like it?” she asks shyly. Her shyness is out in full force. Her voice is whispery and huskier than usual.

Knowing I affect her this strongly makes me even harder. “
Like
doesn’t begin to cover it.” I push her hand away gently. “Lay back, baby. I want to make sure you’re ready for me.”

She lays back, and I reach between her legs. Her wet heat coats my fingers. When I slip them into her center she flexes her muscles, and I can’t help but moan.

“So hot and tight.” I pump, and she lifts her hips, following the pace I set. Her whimpers and gasps push me closer to the edge. All I can think about is being inside of her. Her body shakes, her muscles clamp down, and she screams as she flies over the edge. I stroke her through the orgasm, peppering her breasts with kisses. “Baby, are you protected?” I whisper.

“Yes. You…safe?”

“I’ve never gone bare before. But I want that with you.”

She whimpers as I grip my head and tease her with my tip. Her juice coats the head and shivers run down my spine.
This is right.
I ease inside of her and grit my teeth to keep from coming too soon. She’s warm and welcoming. Her arms and legs wrap around me in an embrace I never want to break. I spent a year fantasizing about this. When she hit seventeen, I was able to stop feeling guilty. “You feel so good, Blue. Better than I imagined.”

“You’re so big,” she whispers.

I grip her slender hips, and we move faster. The sound of skin on skin inflames me. She moves her legs higher, and I sink deeper. Her cries are a soundtrack I want to loop in my ears for the rest of my life. Her body trembles, her muscles flex, and she screams my name. I spill inside of her, experiencing completion inside of the only person I ever desired the deep connection with. We collapse together, and I fall to the side, pulling her against me. “You okay?” I whisper into her ear.

“Mmm-hmm.”

Her sleepy tone fills me with a sense of peace and belonging. A rightness I’d been missing since I took my place as an enforcer. The job is a grim one. On my darkest days, I’m a death dealer. On a good day, I deliver pain. It’ll harden a man if he allows it. I pull her close, knowing I’m the luckiest man in the world. All the people in the world and she chose me. I fall asleep wrapped up in her body, and all is right with my world.

I open my eyes to the early morning sunlight, glance at the warm body beside me, and freeze. “What the fuck?” I bark.

Calla is curled up beside me, nude and sleep worn. Her lids flicker open, and she gives me a sleepy smile. “Morning, lover.”

“What did you do, Calla?” I growl.

“Come on, we both know you’re too much man for my sister to handle.”

My fingers itch to wrap around her throat. It’s a wonder no one has decked this bitch. “You evil little whore. Get the fuck out of my room and don’t come back!”

“Oh, I’ll be seeing you real soon, Shadow. And don’t worry. I made sure Blue watched me disappear inside. I wonder how long she stared at the door before she realized I wasn’t coming back out anytime soon.”

Furious, I stand and roar to release the rage. I don’t hit women, but I want to hurt the one in my bed, badly.

She rises from the bed as if she senses the anger, gathering the sheet around her body before she scuttles toward the door.

“One more word and I’m going to wring your fucking neck, regardless of your parentage,” I say.

Nodding her head, she bends to pick up her clothing, and backs out of my room, never taking her eyes off mine.

I run a hand through my hair.
How the hell can I even begin to make this right?

Present

Two months later, Calla announced her pregnancy, and our hate-hate relationship began. I tried to keep her in line, calm her enough to bring Bolton into the world without any major defects. I did my best to stomach her and stay with her for my boy, but I could never get past her betrayal long enough to make her my Old Lady.

Psycho must’ve known something was up because he never pushed for it. Then again, he knows better than most what his daughter is like. Maybe he wouldn’t wish her upon his worst enemy.

After two years of pure hell, we parted ways. I would’ve taken full custody, but with what I do, it’s impossible. Stone tells me where to be, and I’m out the door at a moment’s notice. I toyed with getting another Old Lady, but my heart was never in it. All roads led back to the one woman I knew I would never be able to have. Seeing her dote on Bolt, and be the mother-like figure in his life when Calla let him down over and over again, only made my feelings for her grow. I kept it to myself. I mean, even I know the shit is fucked up. You knock a girl up and then go after her sister? Plus, she had that preppy boy that made my skin crawl. Every time she brought him around, he was all eyes and questions. Like KOC was some fairytale come to life.

Seeing the rock on her finger when she visited made me sick to my stomach. It was a wake-up call. She wouldn’t be unattached forever. Hell, if pretty boy managed to convince her to change her no to a yes, she would be lost to me. I grind my teeth. When I get out of here, things were going to change. I would make right the biggest mishap of my life.

Blue

It’s sad that the visit with Shadow was easier than seeing my sister. My stomach aches as I walk toward the Woman’s Correctional Facility. I want to tell her personally that I’ll be taking over Bolt’s care and moving in. It’s the least I can do. I feel like I’m stepping into her life. It makes me uncomfortable because deep down, I know if I could’ve switched places with her over the years, I would’ve. Not because she’s more outgoing or classically beautiful—I never envied her that. We all shine in our way, and I’m okay being
the smart one.
Beauty fades, and I’ve seen what happens to used up women who have nothing but their looks to rely on.

What I wanted was Shadow and Bolt. It killed me watching her squander away the relationship with Shadow and a parental bond. Now here I am, feeling like a witch that sent out a wish and got what she wanted at a cost to someone else.
I didn’t force her to make these choices. She did that all on her on.
I’m so used to the guilt that comes with our relationship, it’s sickening.

My heels click over the concrete as I enter the Woman’s Correctional Facility. I’d dressed myself in bitch armor. Black jeans, black heels, a black tank top that hints at my curves without showing anything, and a black blazer. My makeup is flawless. My hair has been tamed and slicked back into a low ponytail. Being on point is a must when I’m dealing with Calla, because the crazy bitch lives to pick me apart. I can’t say when it started, but over the years it’s escalated.

Knowing the routine, I hand them my ID and get buzzed in. I endure the pat down, sign the proper papers, and let them guide me back to the visitation area. I sit on the stool and peer at the plastic that’ll be separating us. Funny, the wall we’ve built between us over the years is thicker and nontransparent. I haven’t been close to her in years, and now I don’t think I know who she is.

Like a caricature, she’s over the top, unbelievable, and fake. From the breast implants she made Shadow pay for, to the expensive makeup, acrylic nails, and the persona she never discards.

I wonder if she even knows who Calla is anymore. Soon enough, she’ll have nothing but time to think.

She comes in escorted by a guard. It’s only been a few days, and she looks gaunt. Her face is drawn. Dark circles bloom beneath her eyes like black holes. Without her war paint, she looks so vulnerable.

My heart aches. Despite my best efforts, I soften toward her.

She lowers herself onto the stool stiffly.

Images of hardened women surrounding her and laying down a beating make my stomach turn. Kings have power behind bars. They wouldn’t leave her vulnerable, but that won’t save her from everything. If she runs her mouth in here, she’ll pay.

Our gazes lock and everything else falls away. She’s my big sister. The one who let me sleep in her bed when I had nightmares, helped me learn to tie my shoe, and at one point, looked out for me. I reach for the phone first, and she follows suit. Placing the receiver to my ear I wait for her to speak.

“I guess Dad is pretty pissed if he sent you.” Her voice is raspy, and her eyes are red rimmed. Scarlet veins stand out.

“No, I asked to be the one to come here. Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay, Bluebell? I’m behind fucking bars and my family won’t even post bail.”

“I had nothing to do with that, Cal. That was Dad.”

Her face falls. She looks like a kicked puppy.

“I’m sorry, Cal—”

“I just bet you are. What did you come here for? Hmmm? To tell me you told me so?”

“What? No, why the hell would I do that?” I ask, stunned.

“Because you think you’re better than me,” she hisses.

I glance at the guard standing behind her, but he doesn’t seem inclined to break up the catty bickering.

“I didn’t come here for this,” I say. I refuse to engage or encourage her. I came here to tell her what was going on with Bolt and leave.

“Why are you here?”

“To let you know what’s going to happen to Bolt. Your son. You do remember him, right?”

“Fuck you, bitch. You’ve always been jealous that I have a son. Maybe if you weren’t so damn stuck up, you’d have a man by now and child of your own.”

I count to ten to keep from losing my cool. “Like I was saying, this is about Bolt. Now that you’re here and Shadow has six more months, it leaves Bolt in the wind. We need to tie up loose ends until Shadow gets out.”

“Let Dad take him,” she says.

“You know he won’t, not on paper, and you know why.” I glare at her.

She huffs. “So what? You just want me to sign him off to you? That’s rich. You’ve been trying to steal him from me since the minute he was born.”

“What are you talking about, Calla? All I ever did was help you. When you needed a babysitter, when he was sick, and you had to work. Whatever you needed, I’ve been there.”

“Right, ’cause you’re the perfect one.” She rolls her eyes.

“No one’s ever said that.”

“They didn’t have to. We’ve both had our roles and played them well.”

I scowl. I want to cut her down to size. It’s been a long time coming. The resentment in me is boiling up inside. I swallow it down. My beautiful nephew deserves the very best I can do for him. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I have the paperwork here. They’ll bring it to you to sign. I can’t tell you what to do. But we both know Bolt needs to be covered.”

“And you’ll what? Move him into your swanky apartment, and keep him away from the family?”

“No, I’ll move into your place, and give up my swanky apartment.”

“But you love that place.”

I shrug. “Family first.”

A wicked laugh erupts from her lips. “Give me the papers, I’ll sign them.”

It’s more to spite me than anything else. But it’s a means to an end, so I take it. I’ll be the whipping girl if it gets me what I want.

“How will it feel to be in my home with my son and my ex, and know neither of them will ever be yours?” she asks, taunting me.

I clench my jaw. Times like this I know one-hundred percent that she knew about my forever crush on Shadow. The slick smile on her lips makes me want to slam her face into the metal table she’s seated in front of. Calla has always had the magical ability to pull out the worst in me. I bite my tongue so hard I taste the unmistakable metallic tinge of blood. Gripping the edge of my chair I take deep breaths.

Silence falls as the papers are delivered. She signs and my tension eases. Once the papers reach my desk, I let out a sigh of relief. “You want to know how it’ll feel, Calla?” I whisper.

She nods.

“About the same way it’ll feel for you to be in here while I help Bolt grow, watch him graduate, and send him off to adulthood. All while living with the one man you procreated with who hates your guts.”

Her jaw drops.

I smirk. “We’re done here. Oh, and you’re welcome for the clean up on aisle
Calla
. If anything good can come out of this, it’s the fact you’ll be forced to get clean and hopefully, get your shit straight. I don’t feel competition, how could I? You’re a child in an adult’s body doing a piss poor job of managing her life. I don’t know where we went wrong, but I know it’s not on me. I think you woke up one day and decided to hate me. It used to bother me. Now, I’m just numb.” I push away, wave the paper at her, and stalk out with my head high. It feels good to be the one with the last word for once.

A weight lifts off my shoulders. I can’t worry about Calla, tiptoe around her feelings, take her abuse, and run a household with an angry teenager. It was time to let this go. When doubt creeps in, I remember what’s at stake and wrap Shadow’s words around me like a shield. I had at least one person behind me. Maybe that was all I ever needed.

This was my chance to fix all the things not working in my life. I deserve to be happy.
Maybe if I tell myself that enough, I’ll begin to believe it.
I welcome the sunshine on my face as I step from the beige building, inhaling the fragrant air and rejoicing in my freedom. The thing most of us take for granted, others pray for. I walk to my car with an extra sway to my step. I’m going to rock this moment, because I feel like a superhero walking into the sunset after winning a battle.