A Promise of Hope (18 page)

Luke shook his head despite the warmth the verse gave his soul. “No. I need to go before I cause her more pain. Will you help me get a ride to the train station tomorrow?”

Dropping his hand to his side, Eli frowned and blew out a defeated sigh. “If that’s what you want, then yes. But think about what I said.”

“Danki.”
Luke walked back to the porch with Eli.

The door opened revealing Sarah standing in a white robe tied tightly over a white nightgown. Her golden hair hung in waves touching her waist. He’d never seen her with her hair down before, and thought she resembled an angel. Her flawless beauty was so striking that his heart pounded in his chest. He’d give anything to hold her in his arms, kiss her, and tell her that he loved her.

But she was marrying another man who would hold her in his arms and love her.

He frowned, and his stomach twisted at the thought of Norman touching her.

All the more reason to go home to Ohio.

Sarah shivered as she ambled onto the porch. She looked at her father standing at the bottom of the porch stairs with Luke, and her throat dried.

“Dat?”
she asked, ignoring Luke’s stare. “What are you doing out here so late?”

Dat
turned to her, his eyes wide. “Sarah Rose! Get inside before you catch pneumonia!”

“Are you coming in?” Sarah asked. “You don’t need to be out here either.”

Dat
trotted up the stairs and opened the door. Turning back to Luke, his expression softened. “Think about what I said. Don’t make any hasty decisions.”

Luke nodded and started down the gravel drive to her former home.

“Sarah Rose?”
Dat
asked, holding the door open. “Are you coming inside?”

Her eyes darted toward Luke. She couldn’t squelch the urge to talk to him, even though she didn’t know what she wanted to say.

Dat
pulled off his coat and handed it to her. “Here. You’ll need this if you stay out here and chat.” He then placed the lantern on the small table next to the swing.

“Danki.”
She put on the coat and then stepped to the edge of the porch as the door shut behind her. She spotted Luke’s tall, slim silhouette stalking through the dark to her former home. “Luke!” she called. “Luke! Wait!”

Luke stopped and faced her, and she wished she could read his expression through the dark. For a moment he hesitated, and she was certain he was going to go back to the house without talking to her.

Holding her breath, she prayed he’d come back and talk to her. However, considering the way she’d treated him the last two times she’d seen him, she couldn’t blame him if he decided to continue back to the house.

When he started back toward the porch, her heart turned over in her chest. He came to the bottom step of the porch. His dark eyes shimmered in the low light of the kerosene lamp as they studied hers.

“Ya?”
he asked, his voice soft but intense.

She cleared her throat and wracked her brain, trying to think of something to say. She’d called him back to her, but now she was dumbstruck, unsure of how to open a conversation with him. The sight of his chiseled features rendered her speechless.

He folded his arms. “What is it, Sarah Rose?”

“What were you discussing with my
dat?
” she asked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. She realized she was clad in her father’s coat over her robe and nightgown, and she suddenly felt exposed. Only a woman’s husband should see her hair, and she wished for her prayer
kapp
or a shawl to cover her head. Yet there she stood exposed in the late February night with her brother-in-law’s intense eyes probing her.

He frowned. “It was nothing you need to worry about.
Gut nacht,
Sarah Rose.” He started for the house again.

“Wait!” She hurried down the porch stairs, holding onto the banister for balance. She couldn’t let him go, but she had no idea why she was so panicked at the thought of his leaving.

He stopped. Facing her, he sighed with frustration. “It’s late, and it’s cold. Your pop’s right, and you should go inside before you catch pneumonia. There’s nothing left for us to discuss.
Gut nacht.”
He gestured toward the door. “Go in where it’s warm.”

“Don’t dismiss me like some child!” She frowned with her hands on her hips. “I wasn’t finished talking to you.”

“What on earth could you possibly have to say to me? You already told me our friendship is over and I’m a liar like my brother.” His eyes flashed with anger. “I know where I stand in your life.”

“Do you?” She held her breath in anticipation of his answer.

“Ya.
I’m somewhere around that annoying gum that gets stuck on the bottom of your shoe.”

She gasped at his biting tone. “How could you say that?”

“How could I say that?” He gave a sarcastic laugh. “You didn’t even have the decency to speak to me earlier tonight when I saw you on the porch with Norman. That told me how important I was to you. I’m not worth your breath. Our friendship means nothing to you anymore.”

“Luke, that’s not true.” Her voice quavered, betraying her attempt to appear cool and collected.

He shook his head and grimaced. “Don’t worry, Sarah Rose. I won’t butt into your business anymore.”

“What do you mean?” She wiped at the tears that had appeared without her knowledge.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” He jammed his hands into the pockets of his coat. “I’m going home to Ohio. That’s where I belong.”

“What?” She stepped toward him, feeling as if she’d been punched in the stomach. “You’re leaving?”

“I am. I’ll be in touch.” His expression softened. “I’ll want to see the
zwillingbopplin.”

“If you cared so much about them you’d stay.” She glared at him.

He shook his head. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

“What don’t I get?” She sniffed. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Forget it, Sarah Rose.” He nodded toward the house. “Go inside before you get sick.”

“Fine.” She slapped her hands to her sides. “Just walk out of my life. Walk out of the
zwillingbopplin’s
life. That’s what you Troyers do best, right? Peter walked away from his son, and you’re walking away from Peter’s
kinner.”

His eyes flashed with fury. “Don’t compare me to my brother,” he said, seething. “I never would’ve lied to you, and I never would’ve walked away from you. But you wouldn’t give me the chance.”

She gasped as more tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Good-bye, Sarah Rose. May God bless you and your
zwillingbopplin.”
He turned and stomped toward the house.

Hugging her arms to her chest, she sobbed while he left her standing in the bitter cold.

19

L
uke sank back in the seat and closed his eyes in an attempt to shut off his brain and sleep to the monotonous click-clack of the train. He’d spent a restless night tossing and turning in bed and then pacing around the room.

His heart ached when he thought of Sarah. He wished he could take back the words he’d said to her, but the hurt had boiled over from his soul after carrying it for so long. She was wrong, so wrong, to run after him and act like she cared for him after the way she’d treated him. Perhaps she was the liar instead of Luke.

To make matters worse, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shut off the echo of Eli’s words in his head. He kept pondering what Eli meant when he said Luke was running. Was Luke running back to Ohio out of fear of his love for Sarah?

Was going back to Ohio a mistake?

But Luke kept coming to the same conclusion: if Sarah loved Luke, then she wouldn’t marry Norman. It was a simple assessment. Being with her felt so right, yet it was so wrong. It was a sin, and she was marrying another man. It made more sense for Luke to forget her.

Luke imagined Sarah’s beautiful face—her ivory skin, skyblue eyes, and pink lips. She would be a beautiful bride. Norman was the luckiest man on the planet.

Yet he couldn’t deny the affection for her that surged through his heart and his soul.

And then there were the twins. When they were born, Luke had made a vow to be the uncle they needed and deserved. Yet here he was retreating to Ohio with his tail between his legs because he couldn’t face Sarah marrying another man. He was breaking his promise to Peter’s children, but he couldn’t stand the idea of seeing Sarah with Norman.

How on earth would Luke be able to let the twins and Sarah go and move on with his life?

Staring out the window at a wide-open field rushing by, Luke opened his heart to prayer, asking God to lead him down the right path. He hoped he could arrive back in Ohio thankful for his days in Bird-in-Hand and, somehow, through a miracle only God could provide, with his heart and soul glued back together.

After getting the twins settled in their cradles, Sarah joined
Mamm
at the breakfast table and lowered her head in silent prayer. Lifting her gaze, she scooped scrambled eggs from a bowl onto her plate and then handed the bowl to
Mamm.
“Where’s
Dat?”
she asked.

“He had to run an errand. He should be back shortly.”
Mamm
passed the plate of rolls to Sarah. “How did you sleep last night?”

Sarah shrugged, studying the contents of her plate.
“Gut.
The
zwillingbopplin
only had me up twice.”

It was a bold-faced lie, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth.
Mamm
would worry if she knew Sarah had been up praying and crying between feedings. She’d spent the night drowning in guilt for yelling at Luke. She’d deserved the cruel words he’d spat at her.

She remembered how he’d stalked off. The anger in his eyes had split her heart in two, and she had to face the fact that he hated her.

She’d prayed most of the night, begging God to convince Luke to stay. Yet she feared the inevitable—that he would go back home to Ohio to forget her and the twins forever.

Sarah tried to smile but worried her lips formed a grimace instead. She buttered her roll while
Mamm
yammered on about her plans for the day. Sarah nodded at the appropriate times.

The door opened and slammed, and
Dat
slipped into the chair next to
Mamm.
“Smells
appeditlich!
” He reached across the table aiming for a roll.

“Eli Kauffman,”
Mamm
scolded, slapping his hand. “Wash your hands!”

“Ack,
my hands are clean.” He rolled his eyes and schlepped to the sink. After scrubbing, rinsing, and drying his hands, he returned to the table and then bowed his head in silent prayer.

Finishing, he looked up and smiled. “How are you this morning?” he asked Sarah while loading his plate.

“Gut.”
She forked some egg from her plate. “Where did you have to run to so early?”

“I had to meet Mike Gray to get someone to the train station.” He buttered a roll. “What do you ladies have planned for today?”

“Train station?” Sarah’s stomach plummeted. “Mike Gray gave someone a ride there? Who had to take a train?” She knew the answer before he reported it.

“Luke went home.” He said the words as if they were mundane, but something in his eyes revealed more. It was as if he knew how she felt. How could he know? Had Luke told him about their argument last night?

Speechless, Sarah stopped chewing and studied her father. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted
Mamm
watching her, a curious expression clouding her face.

“He asked me to arrange for a ride, so I took him to Mike’s early this morning.”
Dat
shrugged, but his eyes were more honest—they were filled with hurt. “He said he felt like it was time to go.” He brightened. “But he’ll keep in touch and wants to come visit the
zwillingbopplin.”

Sarah’s stomach twisted.

Luke was gone. Gone for good.

And she had pushed him away.

And he hated her.

Her throat dried and her eyes stung. Setting her fork next to her plate, she pushed back her chair.

“Sarah Rose,”
Mamm
said. “You must finish eating and keep your strength up so you can care for the
zwillingbopplin.”

“I’m not as hungry as I thought.” Standing, she took her dishes to the sink. “I need to go lie down for a bit. I’ll finish the dishes later.”

Mamm
rose and took Sarah’s arm. “Please sit. You must eat.”

“Maybe later.” Sarah gently pulled her arm back. “I need to go rest.” She headed for the stairs, avoiding her parents’ stares.

“I thought you wanted to go to the market with me,”
Mamm
called after her. “Your
dat
can watch the
kinner.”

“Later,” Sarah called back, her voice thick. She hurried up the stairs, reaching her room just as the tears began to splatter.

Flopping onto her back on the bed, she sobbed, silently scolding herself for pushing Luke away. Would she ever see him again? Did she even deserve to see him again?

No, she didn’t, after the way she’d treated him.

Covering her face with her hands, Sarah wished she could turn back time to the day of the fire. If only she’d convinced Peter to stay home with her that day and talk, then maybe, just maybe, he’d still be alive. If she hadn’t lost him, she’d never have wound up in the mess she was in now—alone and confused, raising two babies without a husband.

She never would’ve met Luke.

And she never would’ve loved Luke either.

Applesauce Cake

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup shortening

2 tsp baking soda

3 cups flour

1 cup raisins

1-1/4 cups nuts

1-1/2 cups sweetened applesauce

Pinch of cream of tartar

1 Tbsp cooking sherry

1/4 tsp salt

1 – 1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp cloves

1/2 tsp allspice

1/2 tsp ginger

Cream sugar and shortening. Sift in baking soda and flour. Add raisins and nuts, then add remaining ingredients. Bake in a greased 9-inch square pan at 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes.