A Reason To Stay (6 page)

He helped her unwrap the hose and turned the spigot on. “I’ll come over and water them for you.”

She laughed and sprayed her marigolds. “You don’t even water your own. You have a gardener.”

His jaw pinched shut and he tilted his head down while flashing her a don’t-get-me-started look. “I have a gardener because I don’t have time to plant, weed,
and
maintain the outside of my house. But I am more than capable of coming over here and sprinkling your flowers so they won’t die while you’re gone.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you.” She continued spraying her appreciative flowers.

“I didn’t mean to bite your head off, either.” He stepped toward her, hugging her from the side. “I’m just cranky because you’re leaving.”

“That’s okay. I’m just going to set them out back. I don’t want you to have to worry about them. They’re just flowers.” The only thing that she looked forward to, coming to a home where no one else waited for her.

He left it alone and meandered around the yard while she finished up. Afterward, they went inside to wrestle with the awkwardness of the next couple hours. Darren rested on her bed and waited for her to shower and change into her gown. When she came out of the bathroom, he threw the magazine he’d been reading back on the nightstand.

“I have some boxer shorts if you need them after your shower.” She released her hair from the French twist she’d made to keep her hair dry.

“I don’t even want to ask who they belong to.” He started to stand up.

Elise threw a pillow at him from her bed. “They’re mine, you punk. I like to occasionally wear them to bed. They might not fit you, but we could always try.”

He moved around the bed to where she was folding the covers back and kissed her shoulder. His large hands held her firmly by her sides. “I think I’ll pass. I’ll just have to sleep in the buff tonight.” A grin appeared on his face.

Elise whipped around and stood face to face with him. “Darren, I need to wake up at five o’clock, the latest.”

Before she could finish objecting, he cupped the back of her neck and drew her in with one fell swoop. His passion ravished her, diminishing her protest. Her eyes closed as he moved from her lips to her neck, and then to the shoulder where he had pulled her gown down. Her body jolted inside from the charge he was sending her.

Darren never made it to the shower that night and Elise never made it to set her alarm for five o’clock. When the sun’s rays finally broke through the cracks in her blinds, she flew awake like the resurrection of a coma victim.

“Oh, shit! Darren, wake up! I overslept.” She jumped out of bed so quickly she didn’t realize she was still naked. She dashed to the bathroom faster than his eyes had time to focus.

He rubbed his eyes and squinted at the bedside clock. After the time it took to figure out where he was and what was happening, he jumped up and grabbed his pants that still lay by the bed. “We’ll be fine, Elise.”

He yelled through the bathroom door, over the sounds of running water and a lot of profanity spoken by her.

She swung the door open with a toothbrush hanging from her mouth and her hair strung out in several different directions. “I’m screwed,” she sputtered out, toothpaste dripping down her chin.

“Nonsense. It’s only six thirty. I can drive like a NASCAR driver to the airport.”

“I doubt I could make it with
wings
at this point.” She spit the last amount of paste from her mouth and then lassoed her hair into a band. Luckily she had picked an outfit out the night before. She slipped it on and powered blush on her cheeks at the same time. Darren carried her suitcases out to his car and came back inside, ramming his bare feet into his dress shoes. He paced back and forth before throwing the covers up over her bed. Elise threw on some comfortable flats as she grabbed her overnight case over her shoulder. She snatched the tickets and her purse before locking the house and running to the car with Darren.

On the way to the airport she closed her eyes and prayed she wouldn’t miss her flight. Darren drove with stealth and agility between the daily commuting cars. “Baby, you’re going to make it. I’m so sorry we’re late.”

“It’s not your fault. I just feel like I missed something.” She looked back, wondering what it could’ve been. He rubbed her nervous hand and flashed her a reassuring look.

They made it with seconds to spare. Darren illegally parked at the front and piled her cases onto a sky shuttle. One of the handles pinched his hand. He made no noise, his eyes wincing a little but never leaving hers. Jet noise and loud travelers polluted the space around them. Exhaust fumes from waiting taxis made it hard to breathe.

Elise began to turn when suddenly he grabbed her, kissing her hard, knocking away what frail defense she had left against him. Words long ago rehearsed for this moment became locked beneath her vocal chords. Her arms lacked the strength to push him back, and just like that she’d become a victim of crushes, puppy dog eyes, and drawing hearts around their joint names. His hand held the back of her head as his mouth powerfully delivered a goodbye kiss not to be forgotten. The heat from his body as it made contact felt like a searing fajita against a cast iron platter. After her eyes opened, she realized she had slipped. Slipped into some fashion of commitment brought on by departures at airports, train stations, and boat docks. Without clearance from her brain, her heart threw out, “I love you.”

It wasn’t long before she thrust herself into the crowd of travelers, destination Bowling Green, Kentucky. The place that held her troubled past.

CHAPTER SIX

Settling In

Minutes stretched into hours, as Elise stared at the headrest in front of her. How could she? Did she? It was hard to say. She hadn’t waited to see the recognition in Darren’s eyes. She’d barely made it out alive; the bottoms of her shoes had slipped on the glossy floors as she tried to run away. Surely there had been so much commotion he wouldn’t have heard anything correctly, anyway.

Not wanting to know what he thought, she concocted a plan to simply go the entire week without calling him or checking her phone. That way she’d never have to know the damage done with the words that escaped her lips like convicted felons. It was all such an out-of-body experience for her.

She woke out of her daydream when she heard the pilot announce plans for landing. After exiting the plane, her stomach somersaulting over the new dilemma that awaited her, Elise moved zombie-like to the baggage claim and stretched to retrieve her luggage. She was finally standing on Kentucky soil, miles from the crime she’d just committed. She stacked the matching red cases and pulled the long extension handle to begin rolling them, in search of her sister. She didn’t have to wander far. From out of nowhere, two kids plowed her over, hugging and grabbing her legs.

“Aunt Elise!” they shouted, as they tried their best to pull her down to their level.

Elise dropped her bags and bent over to bear-hug each of them. The little girl with freckles like her mother smiled with a full set of teeth, while the little boy pierced her with eyes like his father’s. “Hey, guys. What a perfect welcome.”

She looked up to see her dark-haired sister smiling at the two children she had unleashed to find her. A few more wrinkles sat in the corners of her eyes, but she was still able to hold title to homecoming princess, if the chance ever arose again. “I see you did make it, after all.”

Elise broke from the four tiny arms that clung to her and bent over and hugged her sister tightly. “It’s so good to see you, Melanie.”

“You, too, sister.” Melanie took a few cases and Mason and Faith hung on to Elise’s hands, talking a hundred words a minute, both being in competition for her full attention.

“Guys!” Melanie said, placing her finger to her lips. “Aunt Elise just got here. Give her a minute before you bombard her with everything you know.” She ended her command with a slight smile and a shake of the head.

The foursome stumbled out of the airport together, Elise following after Melanie, and the kids following Elise, like ducks in a line. She was starving after her seven-hour flight. Somehow the half-stale-looking sandwich she’d turned down from the flight attendant had become a sorrowfully missed opportunity in her recollection. “Is Mom all right? Why didn’t you stay with her? I told you I could rent a car.”

After locking the seatbelt for Faith in the back, Melanie got into the driver’s seat. “It went fine. She’s already back home. Aunt Hildie is sitting with her. I picked up her prescriptions and then I swung over and picked up you. We’ll go back to her house now and check on her.”

Elise stopped breathing for a few seconds after Melanie revealed the itinerary. A brief paralysis had overcome her entire body, making her involuntary muscles temporarily out of order. Thoughts of her mother often did this to her. The woman who worked hard to raise her daughters and have them want for nothing, except a father. Somehow she placed this inequity on Elise, as if it was her daughter’s fault for him leaving their home. Some nights, she could remember hearing her mother cry in the bathroom and not understanding why.

Her mother never re-married, let alone held a relationship past a few months. And she most certainly never introduced anyone she dated to her girls. Elise recalled being babysat a few evenings by the time she got into middle school. Other than that, Lyla Newton could do it all on her own, and prided herself on the fact. But there was something missing in those translucent, troubled blue eyes of her mother’s. Something Elise could see each time her mother looked at her. She was miserably unhappy. In some way, Elise felt penance for this came from denying her own self someone to love. It was either that or her mistrust that anyone would stay and commit himself to her. Her daddy left her and her mother. How could anyone else not do the same? She couldn’t go through something like that ever again.

“You look tired. Why was your flight delayed?”

“Engine trouble.” Elise searched in her bag for her phone. She knew it was in there. She kept rubbing the edges of it with her fingers on the flight, unable to pull it out and check to see if Darren had texted or called. She’d worn a ridge on her thumb, pressing hard against the cover of it. When she found it, her stomach dropped like a rock off a cliff, echoing Darren’s face in her mind.

“Are you hungry?” Melanie asked.

“I’m famished.” Elise dropped the phone back among the other things in her purse and tried putting the image of the screen out of her mind. One problem at a time, she thought. Lyla Newton’s house was closer than California at this very second. She’d think about Darren after she’d tamed the tiger in the state she was presently in.

“I bought groceries for Mom’s house. I’m going to make some teriyaki chicken skewers and steamed rice.”

“I came home for some down-home comfort food. Like some fried chicken and white gravy. What’s this with teriyaki?” She pushed her sister’s arm, poking fun and trying to resume normalcy in her brain. But seriously, teriyaki?

“Well, you can help yourself tomorrow to whatever your stomach desires, when I’m working, dear one.” She hit every green light with precision, on the way home. Where were all the red ones when you needed them?

The downtown of Bowling Green had changed very little since Elise had last been home. Still the same landmarks and sidewalks. Of course, they’d never change. They just seemed smaller than she remembered, less grandiose than her childhood brain could recall. The fountain that stood in the middle of the square looked like it had a new coat of paint. Oh, how many times she recalled throwing coins into that thing, praying for answers on what to do about her future. Just went to show you, wishes didn’t come from throwing money into a cement well. Nor did they come from anywhere else, either.

The bank on the corner of Chestnut and Franklin had a sign staked in the yard, advertising a high school car wash to support a trip to Paris for the French class. The farthest she’d gone on a field trip was to the nearby amusement park to sing with her chorus group. It was the only reason she signed up for the class. Her mother never would take her and Melanie to any places like that growing up. You either found a friend whose family was normal and did those kinds of things and took you along, or you joined chorus.

The lit up Dairy Queen did seem to have added seating on the right side of the modest building. Maybe to better accommodate the Sunday crowd. After all, it was the only hang-out in town when Elise was growing up. Probably still was. Families sat under the red canopies waiting for their food. Her stomach grumbled with the thought of salty fries on her tongue.

“All right, I suppose I’ll wait until tomorrow to get me some real southern food, then.” Elise needed an excuse to get out the house she knew she’d be trapped in with her mother for the next week. Fried chicken and white gravy might just help in the cause.

“So?” Melanie tilted her head, waiting for Elise to catch on to the vague question that could’ve addressed anything from what time it was to what’s been going on for the last month with her.

“So, what?” Elise looked in the backseat, wondering why the kids weren’t louder than they were. She looked to the ceiling and saw a movie playing on a tiny screen that hung there. Wow, entertainment in a car, too? She marveled how times had changed from when she was younger. A car ride, back then, meant staring out the window and counting how many red cars had passed by versus blue ones.

“So, what about your love life? Did he take you to the airport?”

It was nice having a sister around. Elise missed the midnight giggles about boys and discussing how their tongues could manage to choke you with one bad kiss. So much had happened between them, though, she just wasn’t sure she was ready to confide all her secrets. “He did. But we arrived very late and I wasn’t sure we’d make it. I’m not even sure I packed my makeup bag, hairbrush, and toothpaste. It was all such a blur.”

Melanie laughed. “Last night was that good? You couldn’t manage to wake up on time, huh?”

Elise looked in the back seat, making sure the kids were not receptive to their mother’s innuendoes. “Melanie!” Elise said, giving her a sideways glance to keep her voice down.

“They have no clue what we’re talking about. Now, spill it.”

“He’s the same guy I told you about a few months ago. No biggie.” Elise shrugged her shoulders and searched for red cars going by.

A light caught Melanie and she shot a look to Elise. “Get out! That serious?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s nothing.” She avoided eye contact, hoping her sister would stop her interrogation. It wasn’t an easy subject, seeing she was having a difficult time identifying exactly what
it
was. “We date a few times a week. You’re making it sound as though it’s something big.”

“And if I asked him, would he say the same thing?” The SUV picked up speed as Melanie turned her attention back to the road.

“I’m not sure what he’d say.” Too much information for the East Coast. Keep the West Coast west and the East Coast east. “And you? Are you seeing anyone new?” She asked but figured the answer to be the same as every time she had asked in the past. Nothing new, here.

Melanie’s eyeballs grew wide and circled around in her head. “Actually, there is someone.”

Elise pushed her sister’s shoulder. “Get out! Who? How long? Oh, my gosh.”

Melanie pulled into the driveway of their childhood home and parked. The kids began pulling at their safety belts in a fit to get out as though it had just caught on fire. “I will have to tell you about him later,” her sister said, trying to stay one step ahead of her quick little tikes.

“No fair,” Elise said, pouting her lips a little. 

Melanie opened the back door of the vehicle as the children poured out and ran to the front door of their grandmother’s house. Elise popped the back hatch and pulled all her cases out, trying to squander more time before she had to go inside. Her hands shook as she took the cases. Melanie took a few and they carried them up the walk that seemed shorter now than in Elise’s mind. Her eyes reached the pitch of the roof where she remembered thinking it was as tall as the clouds. Now, the wooden gingerbread that stood in the front peak was weathered and the white paint was all but erased from it.

As Elise crossed the threshold, she zeroed in on her mother who was sitting, propped up in the chaise lounge by the large picture window. A peacock wouldn’t have sat more erect displaying a new fan of feathers. Her blond hair was pulled back into barrettes, and a fluffy pink chenille throw cascaded down her legs and puddled on the floor in front of her. Elise noticed her blouse. She’d obviously picked lavender to wear for the occasion of being cut and sutured. She always said it highlighted and complemented her pale eye color, softened her features. If anyone knew her well enough, like Elise did, the thought of anything softening her was ironical. How did one soften a rock?

Aunt Hildie raised from the worn yellow chair and hugged Elise, the top of her head reaching her niece’s shoulder. She smelled like perm solution and a hint of baby powder.

“It’s good to see you, Aunt Hildie. You look so young.” Elise spoke loudly to compensate for her aunt’s older age.

Aunt Hildie’s chubby cheeks lifted as the corners of her mouth spread wide. “Thank you, dear. You look so skinny. Are you eating out there in California? What are they feeding you?”

As if ‘they’ existed. Aunt Hildie was always either blaming ‘them’ for the way the government was being run, or questioning what ‘they’ were doing to you if you stayed away too long and came back missing a few pounds. Elise rubbed her taut stomach. It had shrunk since living among all the lard and carbs.

“Yes. I certainly eat enough. But I think the plane ride took a few of the extra inches off my waist. They must’ve dropped off somewhere over Colorado. I somehow felt lighter after flying over that one.” She winked and gave her aunt back the hand she’d been rubbing.

She looked past Hildie to her mother. The glasses she had perched on her head told Elise she’d fallen asleep recently. She went and knelt down to hug her mother. It would be weird to do anything less. Although embracing an inanimate object might’ve been more welcoming. Lyla Newton crooked her head a smidge and patted her daughter’s back in three rapid beats. A snare drum would’ve benefited from the precision.

“It’s good to see you, Mother.” She pulled the comment out of the neutral box she had mentally packed in her mind, just for this trip back home.

Lyla tucked her hand back on her coverlet. Her arthritic knuckles kneaded the fibers like a cat. One thing was for sure, her mother’s face didn’t look its age, but her hands told a different timeline. Perhaps too much time in the garden without the use of gloves. Her nails and cuticles would forever be permanently stained by the dirt. And surprisingly it didn’t bother her pretentious mother. She wore the evidence of gardening more like a badge than a flaw.

“Did you have a good flight?” Her mother had also reserved pleasant conversation for the occasion.

The kids ran past them, fighting over who was right about whatever. “It was fine. I slept most of it.”

Melanie came from the kitchen to yell at her children. She was swinging a large spoon in one hand and a small box of something else in the other one. “Go in the den and play. I told you that Grandma needs to rest.”

Lyla yelled back to Melanie, who was already in the kitchen. “Melanie, I told you that you don’t have to cook. We can order out.”

“Ma, I’m not going to order junk. I’m sure that’s all Elise gets in California, anyway. I’m cooking for my kids, too.”