A Walk Through Fire (20 page)

Fortunately the hospital was less than ten minutes away. He parked in the doctors’ parking, threw his parking permit on the windshield, and jumped out of the car. The emergency room was its usual chaotic morass of patients waiting to be seen—EMS personnel, doctors, nurses, and technicians. Within moments he spotted Rachel and Mike.

“What happened?”

Rachel flung herself into his arms, sobbing. “I don’t know. It’s her heart, they said. I called and called her house, but no one answered, so I then called Mrs. Delaney. She went over, and the front door was wide open. She called the police, then me.”

Mike picked up the story as Drew continued to hold Rachel. “Keith was in Brooklyn investigating a case and said he tried to get you when he heard the call come in. He recognized your grandmother’s address.”

“I wasn’t picking up my phone. Shit.” He swore so loud, several people across the room stopped talking and stared. He didn’t give a damn. “Let me see what I can find out.”

He left Shelly with them and entered the emergency room triage area. They recognized him, as he had admitting privileges in the hospital, and one of the nurses pointed him to the curtained-off area where they said his grandmother was. There were several doctors there already, and he approached the one he recognized.

“Rob, what can you tell me?” Dr. Robert Porter was a cardiologist and one of the best. Drew’s heart rate steadied, knowing his grandmother was getting the finest care she possibly could. “She’s my grandmother.”

Rob’s eyes widened, then softened with concern. “Her heartbeat is irregular. We need to keep watch on her. I’m moving her to ICU now.” He gave orders to the two doctors standing next to him, handing the chart to the closest one. Taking Drew’s arm, he led them away, back toward Rachel. “They came in with her, so I’m presuming one or both are relatives?”

“It’s my sister and her boyfriend.” Shelly stood there as well, but he couldn’t be bothered to introduce her right now.

As Rob explained to them about the problem with her heart, Jordan and Keith showed up, concern etched on their faces. Keith came straight to him and hugged him hard. “I tried to call you, man, but you didn’t pick up.”

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s go. They’re transferring her to ICU. It’s on the fifth floor.” Like the Pied Piper, he led the line of family and friends to the elevators. They crowded in together, and he was surprised to see Shelly still there.

“I thought you had to go back to work, Shel.”

Her big brown eyes stared back at him, incredulous. “Drew, I called and said I couldn’t come in because of your grandmother. Did you expect me to leave you?”

Mercifully, the doors opened so he didn’t have to answer as Rachel took his hand. They approached the ICU and saw their grandmother’s suddenly frail-looking body in the bed, surrounded by tubes and beeping machines.

“Oh, Drew.” Rachel buried her head in his shoulder. “Please tell me she’ll be all right.”

He didn’t answer as Rob opened the door and beckoned him inside. Mike took Rachel from his arms and held her close. The door closed behind him.

“How is she really? Tell me the truth.” Drew stood by her bedside, watching the faint rise and fall of her chest. “I feel so fucking helpless.”

“We’re monitoring her carefully. Her heartbeat seems to have stabilized for now.” Rob’s lips quirked in a faint smile. “She’s tough and a fighter. That’s in her favor.”

“So she’ll be all right?” As a doctor he knew it wasn’t a question he should ask, but now he was merely a family member of a patient, grasping for answers.

“Let’s say I’m cautiously optimistic.” Rob patted his shoulder as he walked by him. “Only one visitor at a time, even for a doctor’s family.”

Drew barely heard him as he stood next to his grandmother. “Nana. It’s me, Drew. You’re going to be fine.”

But she didn’t waken. He kissed her on her cheek, and he smelled her familiar scent of rose water. For some reason that comforted him. “Rachel’s outside with Mike. Jordy and Keith too. All your boys. You didn’t have to go to this extreme to get us all together, Nana.” The tightness of his throat made it almost impossible to speak. Or breathe.

“I’ll let Rachey come in to say hi to you.” He kissed her again and left the room. Rachel ran over to him.

“How is she? Did she wake up yet?” The rest of his friends crowded around him.

“No, but she’s stabilized. You can go in, Rachel.” The stress of the night caught up with him, and he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. How could this have happened? His grandmother’s blood pressure was normal. He knew because he checked it regularly.

“Drew.”

His eyes remained closed. Why now, of all times, was he hearing Ash’s voice? It had been months since he’d spoken more than a dozen words to him.

“Drew.” The voice became more insistent. He opened his eyes and saw Ash standing behind everyone.

“Ash.”

Without a second thought he rushed into his arms and held on for dear life. Without shame the tears flowed, wetting the fine linen of the shirt beneath his cheek. Ash’s strong, broad arms held him tight; his quiet voice murmured soft words in his ear.

“It’ll be okay, baby. Don’t worry. She’s a strong lady.” Ash’s fingers slipped through Drew’s hair. All Drew needed was Ash holding him tight against the hard planes of his chest. A deep sigh shuddered through Drew as his body and Ash’s settled and fit together, like the last two long-lost puzzle pieces, finally found.

The heated vanilla scent of Ash’s skin, once so wonderfully familiar to Drew and almost forgotten, assailed his senses, returning him to that long-ago night of dreamy desire. There was no one else he needed at this time.

“Drew?” From somewhere in the background of his mind, a voice pricked his conscience. “What’s going on?”

Ash’s hands dropped from his body. Almost immediately he missed the all-encompassing warmth and security. His lips moved against Ash’s shoulder. “No. Make them go away.”

“Drew.” The voice grew more insistent.

“I think you should talk to her.”

“Don’t leave, though.” He clutched at Ash’s shirt, wrinkling the fabric beneath his desperate fingers. “Promise you won’t leave me?”

Ash’s mouth whispered against his ear, speaking words only meant for him to hear. “Shhh. I won’t, baby. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

Drew closed his eyes, swiping his fingers over his wet cheeks and damp lashes. When he turned around, Shelly stood there, her eyes wide with shock. Damn, he’d forgotten all about her.

“Shelly, we need to talk.”

Chapter Seventeen

Ash watched as Drew walked his girlfriend around the corner to the lounge area. Shit, he hated hospitals. He hadn’t been in one since Mr. Frank died. That sickly sweet smell of chemicals, mixed with the pungent odor of antiseptic made his skin crawl.

But when he heard what had happened to Esther, he’d almost lost control right in his office. My God, that woman was as dear to him as if she were his actual family. And, as of right now, Drew said he needed him and that was the only thing that mattered. A hand touched his shoulder, and he started. Jordan stood next to him, a curious look on his face.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t think you and Drew were even friends anymore.”

Neither did he; yet when Rachel called to tell him about Esther, there wasn’t a moment’s hesitation as to where he had to be. And for whom. The time had come to put aside all the petty bullshit of the past few months. Life crises usually brought people together, but this time Ash thought he might stay and fight for the man he couldn’t get out of his head and his heart.

“Things have a way of coming into perspective when you’re faced with an emergency. Rachel called me, and here I am.” What he really wanted to do was tell Jordan to fuck off, but out of respect for Esther, he’d hold his temper.

“Don’t mess with him, not when he’s so vulnerable.” Jordan’s attempt to scare him off was laughable.

“Listen to me carefully, Jordan, since I’m only going to say this once to you. I’m not your friend. I’m here for Drew. If you can’t deal with it, not my problem, buddy boy. Now go back to your boyfriend and leave me the hell alone.” Without waiting for an answer, he stormed off in the direction he’d seen Drew and his girlfriend walk. Rounding the corner, he stopped dead in his tracks. They were arguing, and he didn’t want to intrude, yet he couldn’t help but stand and listen.

“What the hell was that about with Ash? You’ve barely spoken to that man in months, yet he shows up and you’re hugging him like a long-lost brother.”

Ash crept up quietly and peeked around the wall. Shelly and Drew stood facing each other, but neither one could see him.

“I don’t owe you any explanation. Plus, I really don’t want to have this conversation here or now.” Ash could tell by Drew’s body language that he was holding back something.

“We’re a couple. We love each other. How can you say you don’t owe me any explanation?” Ash winced at Shelly’s strident, desperate tone.

Drew took her hand, a pained expression on his face. “Look, I’m sorry it had to come to this. I didn’t want to talk here, but you’re forcing my hand.”

For the first time, Ash felt sorry for Shelly. He could tell by the dawning expression of shock and pain on her face that she knew what was coming before Drew even spoke.

“Oh my God, you’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” She pulled her hand from Drew’s as if it were singed by fire. “But I love you.” Her face screwed up as tears coursed down her cheeks.

“Oh, Shel, I’m sorry. But this all happened too fast. You don’t really love me. We barely know each other.” He took her hands in his. “It has nothing to do with you, please believe me. You’re a great person.”

She gave a shaky laugh. “The ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, huh?” A shudder rolled through her slight frame. “I think it’s more than that.”

“What do you mean? I’m not ready for a serious relationship right now.” Drew turned away from her to walk over to the window. Ash could see the tension in his back and, strangely enough, itched to hold him.

“You’re fooling yourself, and I should’ve seen it. It’s Ash, isn’t it?” She joined him at the window, putting her hand on his arm. “I saw it for a moment the first time I met him at your apartment, but tonight it was blatantly obvious.”

Drew stared at her, his face pale. “What are you saying?”

“When you saw him tonight, you needed him. It showed on your face. You never looked at me the way you looked at him.” Her voice caught on the hiccup of a sob. She passed her hand over her eyes, then shook her head. “You’ve never needed me.”

She picked up her purse from the chair and turned to leave. Ash stepped in front of her. “I owe you an apology. I was wrong about you.”

For a moment she studied his face. “No, you weren’t. If I thought there was a chance, I would fight for him. But I’m not who he wants.” She walked away, back straight, head high.

A classy woman.

“Ash.” Drew’s voice drove all thoughts of Shelly from his mind.

“Hey, baby. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I wanted to make sure you were all right.” His gaze raked down Drew’s body with a hungry intensity, taking in his lean, sinewy frame. “Was she right? Do you need me?” He advanced on Drew until they stood so close their breaths mingled. The green of Drew’s eyes darkened until they looked almost black.

“I think I do, yeah.” Drew tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling, but all Ash could think of was licking his Adam’s apple and biting that beautifully pale skin down his neck.

“That’s good, because I need you too.” The words slipped out before he could stop them. Need. He’d never needed anyone. Wanted, yes. Desired, certainly. But need? Staring into Drew’s eyes, he sensed the decades-old wall he’d built around himself begin to crumble. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad person after all, if someone like Drew could care about him. Maybe Mr. Frank was right.

He took Drew’s hand and pressed a quick kiss to his palm. “Let’s go back now and see how your grandmother is doing.”

Drew held on to his hand for a moment, then squeezed it. “Yes. Then I think we need to talk.” Their eyes locked, and Ash nodded.

“Agreed.”

They returned to the ICU area. Mike had his arms wrapped around Rachel while Jordan sat, talking quietly with Keith. Rachel broke away from Mike’s embrace.

“They told us to go home now and come back in the morning. If anything happens, they’ll call us immediately.” Her gaze returned to the windowed room where Ash saw Esther being attended to by several nurses. “I hate leaving her here all alone, though.” Her eyes welled with tears, and her lip quivered. At that moment she looked like a lost little girl.

Drew hugged her. “She’s getting the best care possible, and I’m only ten minutes away. We won’t be any good to her tomorrow if we can’t stay awake because we were up all night watching her sleep.”

Rachel nodded. “You’re right. Then we should go. It’s already after midnight.”

They traipsed to the elevator, and it whisked them down to the main level. The doors opened to the sultry night air, and surprisingly, the avenue still buzzed with activity. Strains of jazz music drifted out of the doorway of the bar across the street, its winking neon lights announcing that twenty different kinds of beer were to be found within. A crowd of rowdy teens spilled onto the sidewalk outside the diner on the corner.

Rachel and Mike hurried away to their car. Jordan looked as though he had something to say, but Keith pulled him away, leaving him and Drew standing on the sidewalk.

“Come on. My car is this way.” Drew started walking up the block.

Ash hurried after him, thoughts bumping furiously around in his mind. What next? He’d never had this happen before; sex was always easy to find. This had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with his mind and his heart. Shit. He was in way over his head.

They climbed into the car, and Drew began to drive. Ash studied Drew’s long-fingered hands on the steering wheel and thought how they would feel wrapped around his cock. He shifted in his seat. Damn, he couldn’t ever remember being this desperate to have a man. “Will you come home with me?” His voice croaked, rusty and dry.