All Falls Down (24 page)

"I told you that you're family now," he says, grinning again. "Just say thank you, Chris."

"Thank you, Chris," I mumble, still stunned.

He laughs at my tone, shaking his head. "Seriously though, if you need to talk or anything, come find me. I promise not to judge or pry for more than you're willing to give. Just remember that you have someone other than Jared to lean on. You don't have to muddle through any of this alone. Trust me when I say you don't want that."

"I… thank you," I mumble again, tears welling. Before I can talk myself out of it, I jump up and hug him hard.

"You're welcome," he says, patting me on the back. "Just do me a favor?"

I nod, swiping at my cheeks when I step away from him.

"Stop looking at me like I'm going to step on you," he says. "I promise I'm not a bad guy."

"You aren't." I smile at him. For the first time since Jared told me that Chris knows about us, I actually think I'm okay with it.

"Just don't tell Mad that I'm awesome. I need her to live in fear of me or I may never win Mario Kart again."

"I promise," I vow solemnly, my lips twitching.

"Will you be okay on your own for a bit?" He glances down at his watch and then back at me. "Demetri's shift ends in a few minutes."

"Go," I tell him.

"I owe you," he says and waves before dashing out of the room.

Chapter Fourteen: Cocoon

The sense of peace winding through me is so foreign, so nice, that I doze off, my head against the back of the sofa. My neck cramps, but I don't want to move, so I don't. I just sit, reveling in that hypnotic place that's not quite sleep, but not quite wakefulness either.

When the house phone rings, my eyes fly open. I gasp as they immediately fall on the clock. It's a little after eleven. I've been sitting here for nearly an hour, and didn't even realize it. I climb to my feet, the piercing ring shattering the silence in the room again, and then shuffle to the entertainment center to grab the cordless.

"Hello?" I say, bringing the phone to my ear while rubbing my eyes with the back of my free hand, trying to wake myself up a little.

Static crackles on the line for a moment, but no one answers.

"Hello?" I say again, lifting the receiver away from my ear so I can see the screen. It's a private number. I frown and hold the phone to my ear again. "Hello?"

"Savannah?"

My lungs stop working the moment Toby's voice whispers through the line. Suddenly I'm in Italy all over again, lying in a pool of glass and blood while he curses at me for being so clumsy.

"Savannah, I know you're there," he says. Static crackles again.

No, no, no.

No, I'm still asleep and this is just a nightmare.

No, he isn't really calling me.

No, just no.

"Toby," I whisper, knowing this isn't some nightmare. I'm not that lucky. My hand shakes around the phone, and I think I might faint. I reach out and grasp the edge of the entertainment center to keep myself upright. A thousand different emotions course through me.

Fear pumps the hardest.

"Savannah," he sighs. His voice is so… I don't know. It's soft, like it always was after he'd throw things or yell at me. Like he's relieved to hear me on the other end of the line. Like he's about to give me some excuse for his behavior. It's so familiar, it's sickening.

"What do you want?" I was naïve to hope he would just forget about me. Of course, he isn't finished tormenting me. Laney would never let him push her around or hurt her. She'd never put up with it how I did.

God, how could I be so stupid?

I should have known that talking about, thinking about him, wouldn't end well.

"I miss you," he says, using that same sickening tone.

I used to be so relieved when he'd walk back through the door after storming out and tell me that he missed me. He always seemed so earnest, and I would convince myself that, this time, it would be different. This time, he really meant that.

Now though? Now I know better. I hear that tone in my nightmares. Those words haunt me, tormenting me.

"Where's Laney?"

"I don't want to talk about her," he says, sounding petulant. Like a little boy who lost his favorite toy.

God, how did I ever think I loved him?

"How are you?" he asks.

That question makes me angry. He has no right to ask me that. None at all.

My heart pounds so hard, it startles me.

"Why do you care now?" I snap. "You didn't care when I spent weeks in the hospital alone."

"Savannah, I messed up, baby. I'm so sorry about Laney."

"Do not call me that," I hiss at him. "You don't get to call me that anymore."

"Bab–Savannah, please," he whispers. "I miss you. Let me see you."

See me?

Oh, God, no. Please no.

"Where are you?"

Fear courses through me again, a tidal wave of terror crashing over me. I ease down onto the floor and pull my knees up to my chest, trying to make myself as small as possible. As if curling in on myself will make all of this go away. Will make
him
go away.

"I just got in."

I know what he means, but I have to ask anyway. I'm a masochist, I guess. "Where?"

"San Francisco."

Even though I knew he was going to say that, my heart literally stops beating for a second. I'm so scared, so surprised, that my heart just fails to push blood through my veins. That second seems to go on forever, blood frozen somewhere deep inside while sheer terror rages through me in its place.

And then, all of the sudden, my heart lurches into motion again.

The first beat is so hard, my whole body shakes. Anxiety slams into me, squeezing the breath from my lungs. My vision blurs. My fingers – my arms and legs – are numb, like they're no longer attached.

I'm certain it can't get any worse… and then it does.

"I came to get you," Toby says.

I shake my head back and forth as if he can actually hear the motion.

Bile burns in the back of my throat and I just want to breathe. I just want to wake up.

Why am I not waking up?

"Savannah, please come home," he says. He sounds so miserable.

I suddenly realize that I was wrong earlier. I do hate him. I hate him so much, I can't think straight.

"I love you. You know I do. I made a mistake, baby."

I think maybe he's taken my silence for defeat, that he thinks if he just keeps talking long enough, he'll wear me down. That I'll say yes. I'll forgive him, let him come see me, and then let him take me back to Italy where he can keep me locked up inside and scream at me when he needs a little pick-me up.

"Savannah?" Another voice says as he keeps whispering in my ear about how he's sorry. How he doesn't love Laney. How he was so wrong and so stupid. How he'll never forgive himself for letting me go. Not once does he say he's sorry for hurting me. Not once does he apologize for the two years of hell, or for leaving me in that hospital alone.

I glance up to find Jared and Lexi standing in the doorway to the living room. They're both watching me with matching concerned expressions. I wonder what they see on my face that causes them both to rush toward me. Or maybe the fact that I'm rocking back and forth causes them race toward me. I don't know, but they do.

"What's wrong?" Lexi demands, her voice full of fear. She drops to her knees beside me.

Toby continues to go on and on in my ear.

I open my mouth to tell her what's wrong, but before I can get the words out, Jared is there.

He takes one glance at my face, and then gently pries the phone from my hand.

I can't seem to straighten my fingers.

"Toby," I finally whisper. His name shakes on my lips. I can't breathe. I can't think. I'm numb. "He's here. He's… he's here."

Lexi cries out. She puts her arm around me, trying to physically shield me from him.

A savage growl tears from Jared's throat. He holds the phone to his ear. I'm not sure what Toby says on the other end, but Jared's expression twists. He doesn't look angry. He looks lethal. An avenging angel ready to murder in the name of God.

Lexi hugs me, shushing me while I gasp and shake.

"Toby?" Jared says. His voice is calm. Not that nice calm, but that scary calm-before-the-storm kind of calm.

For a second, all I hear are my gasps, the hammering of my heart, and the tick of the clock on the wall.

It doesn't last.

I bury my head in Lexi's shoulder when Toby asks who the fuck he's talking to and why the fuck he's with me. He's loud, and it reminds me of every other time he lost his temper in the blink of an eye and started yelling. He hasn't changed at all since he dropped me off at the hospital and walked away.

I hadn't really expected that he had.

"My name is Jared Corbit," Jared says in that scary-calm voice again. "And if you come anywhere near Savannah, I'll kill you."

I can't hear Toby's response – I'm not sure I want to know what he has to say – but whatever it is causes Jared to laugh. The sound is cold, devoid of humor.

"No, she does not," he says. "Do not call her again. Do not come here. If I find you within half a mile of her, I will kill you." The phone beeps once as he depresses the
End
button.

Silence rings through the room again.

"Breathe, Savannah," Lexi says then, rubbing her hand up and down my back.

I can't stop shaking, and I still can't breathe. I'm not crying though. Everything feels so far away, but part of me wants to cheer over the fact that I'm not crying. I take a deep breath and then another and another. My head is stuffed with wool and my chest hurts. It's tight and every hard thump of my heart makes my lungs ache like I have bronchitis. I want to curl up in Jared's arms.

The fact that I can't burns.

"Where is he, Savannah?" Jared asks. His voice is soft again. Not how it was when he threatened Toby, but how it always is when he talks to me now. Like I'm a frightened kitten he wants to soothe and he's physically incapable of raising his voice to me.

Fear begins to loosen its hold little by little.

"His parents' house, I think," I say. The words shake uncontrollably. My teeth chatter.

Jared curses.

For a long time, we just sit there. Jared's on his knees beside me, and Lexi has her arms around me. I feel completely eviscerated, struggling to get my anxiety under control again. I tell myself over and over that Toby won't come here. That Jared's warning will keep him away. But I know better. Eventually, he will come. He'll arrive at the gate and demand to be let in to see me. He won't go away until they let him… and I'll have to face him.

My past has caught up with me, demanding I face it, and I don't want to do it.

Maybe that makes me a coward, but it's true.

I don't want to see Toby. I don't want to listen to him. I don't want to be anywhere near him. I hate him for doing this to me. Just when things were starting to hurt less – just when I started to think that maybe I would be okay – he shows up to prove me wrong.

"We should get her in bed," Jared says softly. "She needs to warm up and rest before she goes into shock."

"I don't want her out there alone." Pure steel rings in Lexi's tone. "If he's here, I don't want her going anywhere alone."

A hysterical half-laugh, half-sob catches in my throat. I want to tell Lexi that there is no if about it. He
is
here. The world is crashing at my feet. Even knowing what's going on with Lexi, I've felt safe here. Like everything Toby put me through was really over and I could relax a little. No one would smash glasses against the wall and scream at me. No one would slam doors and call me names or curse at me.

That sense of safety feels so far away right now.

Another half-laugh, half-sob bubbles up.

My jaw is clenched so tightly it comes out in a keening whimper.

"You can't leave Madeline here by herself," Jared says to Lexi. "You know she'll need you in the middle of the night."

"I'm not letting Savannah stay alone," Lexi says. Her hold on me tightens, as if she's afraid Jared will try to pull me from her arms.

"I'll stay with her." Jared's soft words slice through the turmoil in my mind.

For just a moment, everything inside of me falls silent again. He's forced the demons out with nothing but those four little words. Hope courses through me. And then I remember exactly why he can't stay with me all night and those demons dig their claws in again, clinging tightly.

Exhaustion hits me hard. I'm emotionally, mentally, and physically spent.

There's nothing left to give.

Nothing.

Lexi hasn't said anything and I'm too tired to lift my head to see why, so I try to tell her I'll stay by myself. "I–I'll b–be f–f–fine," I say. The words don't even sound convincing to me. My teeth still chatter, and I'm rocking back and forth, trying desperately to hold myself together.