All We Know Is Falling: Fall With Me: Volume One (24 page)

I sat on the bleachers with Jenna while we waited for class to start.

“Has he said anything to you?” she asked when Hale walked into the room.

“Yeah. Yeah he did,” I looked down at my feet.

“Well?”

I went over the whole conversation with her, telling her all that was said. It was burned into my head with perfect clarity. When I looked back up at her, her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were wide. “He said all that to you?”

I nodded. “And I said what I said. I wish I hadn’t but it’s already done.”

“I’m surprised that you didn’t do worse. I’ve seen you pissed off before, no one survives.”

“It was a nasty thing to say.”

She scoffed. “As opposed to what he said to you?”

“I thought he liked me. He told me he did…like all the time.” I smiled to myself, “And he kept telling me that he wanted me to love him one day.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, sweetie. He was always so nice. I can’t believe he would do something like that to you of all people.”

“Yeah, well I guess no one is what they seem. But I think I know when I figured out it wouldn’t work. We were at lunch and he started talking about me, grey haired and old and talking to our grandkids about how I fell in love with him. I knew he was kidding, but it still upset me.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t ever give anyone that. I can’t get older with someone. The most I can do is watch them get old. Watch them die. I’m not going to have kids unless their father is immortal. I can’t lose a husband and kids.”

“I understand that. That’s why your mother didn’t have any biological children. She’s strong, but not strong enough for that.”

I looked at her and tried hard to not think about how mortal she was. Soon I would stop aging and she wouldn’t. Then I’d start watching her looking older and older. And she would be gone.

“I was right all along, wasn’t I?” I said, not meaning to speak out loud. “Everyone leaves.”

“No. Not everyone leaves. But when they do, it’s not always their choice. Just because Hale made that choice, it’s no reason for you to ignore how far you’ve come.”

I stood from the bench. “How far I’ve come,” I said louder than I intended. Hale looked over at me but I ignored him. “You mean how stupid I was, and how I broke my own rule? And how I was instantly punished for it? Well guess what, I know now better than I have ever before. I know that I was doing the right thing.”

Jenna stood and moved over to me. “No you weren’t. It was unhealthy. You did a brave thing and just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean you should give up. There will be other people. You’ll love them and you’ll survive the losses.”

My fingers knotted in my hair. “I don’t think I can. Everything in my head hurts and my chest feels heavy when I think about it. I feel like I’m being crushed and I don’t know why it hurts so badly.” The strength in my voice wavered, “What’s wrong with me, Jay?”

Her arms were wrapped around me in the next second. “I know how you feel. And I’m so sorry. But this kind of pain is just something everyone has to deal with eventually.”

When she let go of me I said, “What is? What is this? How do I make it stop?”

She bit her bottom lip. “You don’t make it stop. You just let the pain go away on its own.”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t accept that. I want this gone. I wanna go back to how it used to be.”

“I know. But you can’t. Just believe me when I say that the ache will go away. A hundred years from now, you won’t remember his name.” She tried lightening the mood with a laugh, “Hey, at least you didn’t sleep with him.”

“Yeah,” I almost laughed too. “The second my hands went under his sweater, it ended.”

The humor disappeared from her eyes. “What?”

I wasn’t sure what about that made her pause. “I went to get his sweater off and he left. What about it?”

Her eyes filled with understanding and I saw cogs turning. Then she left me and went to Hale. She said something to him and they left the room. Then I was alone.

I stood off to the side while the students all talked and I waited for Jenna. I tried to not look at anything and to not think about anything. But my peace was short lived as Kenna walked by.

“Aww. All alone, Freakshow? How sad that you couldn’t even hold on to the town murderer. How’d ya blow that one? Were you just too disgusting to look at, even for him?”

My switch got flipped and every ounce of anger I was holding in was trying to claw it’s way out into the sun. “Kenna, I’m going to warn you now, leave me be.”

“Ha. I’m sooo scared.”

I rolled my eyes. “What the Hell did I ever do to you that made you decide that I needed to be your obsession? Are you just that pathetic?”

“Pathetic?!” she snapped as the doors opened again. Hale was alone and I didn’t know where Jenna was. “You have to be kidding me, Mrs. Psycho.”

“I’m really not.”

The other students started catching onto the little cat fight, including Hale. Slowly, they started moving closer to us.

“You’ve always been such a freak. Even before I knew why. It’s so annoying how you just act like you’re so much better than everyone. Never talking, always just sitting there with that holier than thou attitude.”

I laughed. “First, you have no clue what really makes me so different from you. And if you did, I promise you that you wouldn’t be standing here right now. You’d be shaking in the corner questioning everything in your pointless and shallow life.” She’d run in terror, like any sane person would. Kenna—as much as I hated to say it—was smart enough to sense there was something wrong with me.

She shoved at my shoulder and I didn’t budge. It was like a feather hitting me. And she looked angry about it.

“FIGHT!” One of the boys in the crowd yelled.

I smiled. “Hear that? They want a fight. What do you say?” I took a step closer to her. I bet knocking her lights out can make me feel better. At the very least, it could give me a five minute break from the aching.

One of Kenna’s little followers said, “Oh come on, Kenna. You can take her.”

“Lets find out,” I raised an eyebrow.

The doors opened again and Jenna walked through. She was holding a basketball in her hands. When she saw the circle of students around us, she ran over.

“Break it up!” she said when she got inside of the circle.

“LET EM FIGHT, COACH!” A boy yelled. Several others agreed with him.

“Not happening,” she said sternly. Some of the students booed her and a few walked away now that the show was over.

Kenna crossed her arms. “Of course not. You just don’t want teachers pet to get hurt.”

Jenna laughed. “I’m not doing this to spare Aurora. Believe me. If the two of you fought, you’d be lucky to walk away after.”

A boy cupped his hands around his mouth. “Then let her do it. KICK HER ASS, FLYNN!!”

“Kenna, Aurora, go to the principals office until school is over. I don’t want you two fighting.” She tossed the ball to someone. “And the rest of you can pick teams.” The students all started moving while Hale stayed where he was.

“No way, coach,” Kenna said. “I’m not being sent away cuz the freak got me in trouble.”

“You’re the only one who got you in trouble, Kenna. You keep poking at a bear, what the Hell do you think is gonna happen.”

Kenna scoffed. “Oh, what’s the freak gonna do to me? Glare?”

“No,” I said without an ounce of doubt. “I’ll hurt you, Kenna.” And I bet there won’t be a single consequence for me. “I have nothing to lose so nothing can be taken from me. Don’t find out the hard way how right I am.” My voice wasn’t threatening. It was just dead and lifeless.

Kenna flinched back but I knew that wouldn’t last. No fear would keep her from harassing me. She walked over to the crowd and I was left with Jenna.

She poked me in the shoulder. “What were you thinking?” she almost shouted. “You know what happens if you fight?” She dropped her voice. “If people figure out that you’re stronger than any normal human being, God knows what’ll happen. And you know who might just pop up for a visit.”

“So?”

Her face scrunched up. “I know your hurt,” she turned back to glare at Hale. “And even though your friend is a dumbass who didn’t even try and stop the fight,” she turned back and lowered her voice so he couldn’t hear anymore. “That doesn’t mean you’ve got nothing to lose. There is always something to lose. Always.”

“Not for me.” I’ve already lost it.

My mom and sister were starting to catch on to my newly acquired sadness. As much as I tried to hide it, I’d see them staring at me and I just knew that they knew. But they were kind enough to not ask me about it. They weren’t the type to pry. They know that if I wanted them to know, I’d tell them.

I grabbed something quick to eat from the kitchen before I showed up in Hell. The Sage was feeding Darwin when I popped down.

“I hate you,” he said to the bird as he was tossing out seeds.

I laughed and he looked up. “I’ve just gotta ask. Why is there a bird in Hell?”

He sat up straight. “Well, we also have a couple kittens. But they’re not dead. They just live here.”

“Darwin’s dead?”

He nodded. “Wrong place at the wrong time. He met his end at the edge of a sword.”

“Still doesn’t explain why he’s in Hell.”

“The sword in question was made by your father. It’s made to send souls to Hell…long story.” He waved his hand and crossed his legs. “You’re going to be late for school.”

I wasn’t even thinking about that. “I am. I’ll see you later.”

“Not today,” he said while I was dissipating. I popped up again in the wooded area by school and I started walking. I had about five minutes to get to class.

I was running right up until the second I wasn’t. I landed on my face on the concrete. I groaned as I rolled onto my back. The sun was high in the sky and I stared at it in defeat.

“Aww,” I heard familiar laughter. Kenna entered my field of vision and I nearly went back to Hell. “Have a little accident?”

“Because you tripped me,” I said as I sat up.

She gasped. “How could you say such a thing? I would never hurt you, Freakshow. Not when you’re doing such a spectacular job in fucking up everything you care about.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t care about anything, Kenna. But maybe you should start. Get a hobby.” I looked down at my leg and I almost panicked when I saw all of the blood. But my attention was taken from it.

“I know something you might care about. Like Hale and his new girlfriend. Kinda funny that he moved on so quickly. But, Dottie is a lot prettier than you.”

“What the Hell are you talking about?” I was trying to pay attention even though the smell of blood was getting overwhelming.

She smiled wide. “I might have seen Hale and Dottie going at it after school yesterday. But,” she held her hands, palms up and shrugged, “maybe I didn’t. Guess you’ll never know.” She walked away laughing.

I looked back at the wound and the blood was absolutely everywhere. When I looked closer, I saw a piece of glass in my leg. I pulled it out and mumbled, “Why the fuck is there broken glass on the ground!?”

Apparently the glass was holding in the blood, because once it was out the wound started gushing.

“RORY!” My name was called and in less than three seconds, Ethan was beside me. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Kenna tripped me. I guess I fell on glass.”

His eyes were huge as he looked at the blood on my leg and what was dripping to the ground. “I’ll help you.”

Before I could protest, he had me in his arms. When I was lifted up, I saw Hale just behind Ethan. They must have come to school together.

Ethan brought me to the steps of the school and sat me down. Hale started walking into the building and Ethan yelled at him. “Hey, your friend is hurt,” he gestured to me. “What the Hell are you doing?”

“Going to class. I suggest you do the same or you’ll be late.”

Ethan looked baffled. “Are you kidding me? She’s bleeding out. Why don’t you try not being an asshole for five minutes and help her?”

Hale’s eyes went to the puddle of blood under me, then back in front of him as he walked inside. Ethan mumbled some less than kind things about his brother as he looked me over.

“Really, I’m fine,” I said. “Don’t be late for class.”

He rolled his sleeves up and said, “I don’t care about math. And you’re still bleeding.”

He was right. It was getting slower but it was still bad. The blood soaked into my socks and shorts. Should be fun going through the day with that.

I took my shoes and socks off so I could throw them away. Before I could, Ethan grabbed the clean one and held it to my leg. “This should help.”

“I really hate Kenna,” I sighed.

“She did this?”

“She tripped me.” I finished cleaning off as much blood as I could and I stood up.

He looked at the cut on my leg. “I think that’s going to scar. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t scar easy.” Ever. But I couldn’t tell him that. “I’ll be fine.” It would be mostly healed by the time I got up in the morning. “Sorry about class. You’re going to get in trouble because of me.”

He scoffed at that. “I don’t care. I couldn’t just leave you bleeding.”

“Hale could,” my voice was bleak.

He looked angry. “He shouldn’t have done that.”

I shrugged. “It’s fine. Why should I care what he does?” I got up and my leg stung. But it was nothing that I couldn’t handle. “I’ll see you later.” We said goodbye and while he went to class, I went to the bathroom.

I couldn’t go through the day in bloody clothes. So I popped back home and showered the blood off of me before I changed into fresh clothes. I picked a red dress with thin straps. It didn’t quite cover the cut on my leg but it would need to do since I skipped laundry day again. I bandaged my leg and went back to school.

By the time I got back to school, science was almost over. I’d taken my time because, well, I just don’t care about that class. We had to cut up a fish today and I didn’t really want to participate anyway. I waited in the parking lot until the bell rang.

I almost didn’t make it to class on time, but I got in right before the bell rang. I nearly ran into Mr. Dixon. He caught me by the shoulders.

“Watch out,” he smiled. “Running late?”

“Sorry. I got hurt and had to go home real quick,” I lied about staying longer than I needed. “But I’m here and ready to work.”

“Are you? You seem to be missing something.”

I didn’t know what he was talking about. So I said, “Huh?”

“Your backpack.”

Uh oh. I must have left it in the parking lot when I got hurt. All of my stuff for class was in it. “Can I go look for it? I think I know where it is.”

He walked to his desk and handed me a pass. “Make it quick.”

I ran out of the room and to the parking lot. I went back everywhere that I’d been. I found the blood spot where I first fell and I checked under the cars to see if it slid under one. But I found nothing. I checked where Ethan brought me and it was just nowhere to be seen. I was screwed.

I went back to class empty handed. Mr. Dixon said that since I was so far into my project, I could just sit at my table and ‘reflect on the work.’

It was a little more than awkward, just sitting there next to Hale. He kept his eyes glued to his book that laid unopened on the table.

My solution was to mess around on my phone ‘til class was over. The rest of my classes for the day didn’t require my backpack, so at least I was sort of okay. Though I was missing my gym clothes. Maybe I could just sit out for the day.

I chose to check up on Walter with my free time. He sent me a picture of Bumpkin chewing on someone’s boots. I laughed when I saw it.

“Whatcha doin’?” I heard from behind me.

I sighed and turned around. “You already got me hurt today. Can’t you take a day off?”

She smiled. “Nope. Who’s got you laughing like that? Gotta say, I knew you were desperate, but I wouldn’t have guessed that you’d be screwing someone so soon after Psycho dumped you. Does the new guy mind your mutation?”

“I’m texting my brother. Not that it’s your business.”

She rolled her eyes. “Lying? That’s interesting. I know you don’t have a brother.”

I laughed. She had no idea how many brothers I really had. “I do have a brother. You know it’s actually possible to have men in your life that you’re not fucking, right?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I know all about that motley crew of rejects you call a family. My older brother knew your sister when she was in high school. Maybe you oughta be judging that whore on who she sleeps with.”

“Sister?” I heard Hale mumble to himself. But I was too distracted to care.

I was too angry to correct her with the new story of her being my aunt. Some people, only the ones who messed with me through out the years, knew about Hadley. But they didn’t pay attention to when I started calling her my aunt. They care enough to try and hurt me. But not enough to pay attention. “Don’t say a goddamm word about Hadley. If she knew a thing about what you do, I promise you that she wouldn’t have the restraint I have.”

The joy in her face didn’t waver. “And your disgusting dad. What kind of a pig marries someone so young? Worse, how gross is your mom for marrying him? I guess whore just runs in your family. I bet your dad swallowed a handful of pills just to get away from you all.”

Hale stood up and turned to her. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was looking to do damage. But he didn’t get the chance.

Mr. Dixon stormed over to her and slapped down a red piece of paper. “I’ve got this under control, Mr. Wyatt. Sit down.” He put his hand on Hale’s shoulder and forced him down onto his seat. Then he turned to Kenna. “You know that bullying is grounds for expulsion?”

She looked angry. “What about the shit she was saying to me?”

He glanced back at me. I couldn’t muster up a facial expression. I was thinking about my dad.

“I think what she said was nothing compared to what I’ve heard you say to her over the years. And I know miss Flynn well enough to know that if you leave her be, she doesn’t attack unprovoked. Take this note,” he pointed to the red paper, “and go to the office. You’re going to have a little talk with the principal. Don’t think about leaving. I’m going to call him as soon as you leave this room.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he crossed his arms and it silenced her. She grabbed her stuff, staring me down the whole time. Then she stormed out of the room.

“Are you alright, Aurora?” Mr. Dixon asked.

I looked up at him. “I’m fine.”

He cleared his throat. “About your father…he was—”

“I know what people thought of my mom and dad. And I don’t care. They don’t know anything about us.”

“Aurora—” I didn’t stay in the room long enough to hear the rest of what he had to say.

When I got to the hall, I had no clue what I was doing. I just needed to not be there anymore. Today was the day from Hell and I just wanted to go home. But that wouldn’t solve anything. Kenna would win if I just rolled over and died. I needed to take every hit and come back smiling.

I started walking, having no clue where I was going.

It wasn’t true. I knew it wasn’t. Mom and Dad loved each other more than anything. Everyone saw what they wanted to see. An old man married to a woman that looked less than half his age. But it wasn’t the case. I knew that. No one else did. And I couldn’t explain it to anyone. I had to deal with the judgmental eyes from everyone around me.

I wish I could be more like Hadley. She didn’t give a damn about anything that people thought about her. She lived how she wanted to and never thought twice about it.

But I wasn’t her. I was insecure—like Hale said. I couldn’t just let myself be happy and forget everything else. I was trapped in my own head.

When I got to the other side of the school I was hardly even aware. I only snapped to attention when I heard my name.

“Aurora?” It was Dottie. She looked surprised to see me. I guess she should be. I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

She was staring at me with a handful of papers. “Are you okay? You look a little spacey?”

I blinked. “Um. I’m okay. What are you doing?”

She smiled and held up the papers. “I’m a T.A. I was sent to make copies. You?”

I shuffled on my feet. “I kinda took off in the middle of class. Someone was…saying some things and I just needed to get out of there.”

“Aww,” she rushed me and held me tightly. “What happened?”

I wasn’t a hugger, so I was mildly alarmed by the sudden affection. But I didn’t want to offend her, so I hugged back. “It was Kenna. You know her?”

She moved back from me. “Yeah. She’s a little mean.”

I laughed. “A little…”

“What did she say that upset you so much?”

I looked at the floor. “Stuff about my family. My dad.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. Just ignore her. It’ll take away the power. She’s nothing without an audience.”

She might have a point. But it was a lot harder to ignore that girl that she might think. It was like her mission in life was to torture me.

“I’ve gotta go,” she said. “But I hope you feel better,” she started walking fast down the hall before she turned in a different direction.