ALWAYS FAITHFUL (19 page)

N
ic looked down at her watch and noted the time, midnight. All she wanted was to take off her uniform, grab a cold beer, a hot shower, and not necessarily in that order. Tossing her keys on the counter, her briefcase on the couch, and her hat on the hanger she started to unbutton her uniform jacket. It had been a long forty-eight hours and she was glad to finally be home. If she had been able to see Claire, it would have been a bonus night. After hanging her jacket in the closet, Nic made her way into the tiny kitchen and opened the door. Thirst or hunger. Which pang would she feed first. Pulling a beer from the fridge, she answered that question. She could eat later. Right now, she needed to relax. She let the amber liquid slide down her throat feeling its relaxing effects almost immediately. It was time to make plans for the future and her departure from the Marine Corps was first on her agenda. The flashing red light of her answering machine caught her eye as she tossed the empty bottle into the trash.

“Major Caldwell, this is Father O’Rielly. Can you give me a call when you get in? Thanks.”

“Beep”

“Major, this is Sergeant Ross, just checking in to see how your flight was. Let me know when you’ll be in the office and I’ll have your coffee waiting.”

Nic could hear Sergeant Ross chuckling in the background as he hung up the phone.

There weren’t anymore messages. Claire hadn’t called.
Damn it.
Nic felt her heart sink. She had been wrong about Claire’s feelings for her. How could she have been so wrong about Claire? Maybe she was just transferring her feeling for Mike to Nic. It probably wasn’t unusual. They had warned her about families becoming too dependent on the person assigned to help them when their loved one died. This was different, way different.

She needed to move on with her life. But how could she do it without Claire?

T
he next few days were a blur for Claire with all the arrangements she had to make and with family members arriving from out of state. She had little time to wonder where Nic had gone. Sitting at the funeral home for the vigil, she greeted each person as they arrived to pay their respects to Mike. Officers and enlisted alike told her stories of how Mike had either helped them get through some rough patch or made them laugh with funny stories of Grace. However, there was one person that never showed and Claire wished Nic would come so she could at least explain why she hadn’t called. She thought about calling Nic but every time she made her way to the phone something always came up.

Claire watched the door and shook her head when Jordan leaned over and whispered, “Still no tall, dark and handsome?”

“No, I’m afraid not. What am I going to do, Jordan? I need to talk to her, and explain things. Surely it can’t end like this? I don’t want it to end.” Tears rolled down Claire’s face as she pleaded her case to her best friend.

“I know, sweetie, I know.”

Just then, Mike’s mom came in, walked to the casket and crossed herself. She looked at Claire and seeing that Claire was crying, she started to cry herself.

“Don’t worry, honey, it will be alright. You have lots of family that want to help. It will be all right. Trust me.” Patting Claire’s hand, she took out a tissue from between her breasts and handed it to Claire.

“Thanks, mom. I think I need to get some fresh air and freshen up. You don’t mind sitting here for a while do you?”

“No, not at all, hon. You go and I’ll sit with Mike. Besides, I need to say a few prayers. The more prayers, the quicker to heaven,” she said with a sad smile as she knelt down on the prayer bench.

“Jordan, can you come with me?”

“Sure, hon.”

Outside in the fresh, warm sun, Claire closed her eyes and waited, and waited, and waited.

“Claire, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Hear that?”

“Hear what? I don’t hear anything.”

“Exactly. It’s quiet, the only noise is those birds singing. I’m sorry, Jordan. I guess I should be thankful that so many people have come to pay their respects, but I have to be honest. I’m on overload and there is only one thing I can really think about right now. Okay two things, Grace and Nic.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. And I’m not gonna call and bother her. I figure she saw that it was me calling her the other night and she didn’t answer so that sends a pretty strong message, wouldn’t you say?”

“Maybe, but sometimes you really should talk to someone face-to-face. I mean with all the technology it’s easy to think everyone is right at your fingertips.” Jordan held her hands up as if she was going to squeeze Claire’s breast.

“Knock it off, silly.”

“Look, why don’t you wait until all of this is over and then you two can talk. I mean she went and escorted Mike all the way from the east coast to here. I can’t imagine she would tell you she loved you and then drop you like a hot potato, can you?”

“I screwed up and now I am paying for it. God, how could I have been so stupid?”

Claire wondered if she would even get a chance to talk to the officer before Nic left, assuming that was what Nic was referring to in the message she had left. For all she knew, Nic might have shipped out already. Claire fervently hoped that wasn’t true. She needed to talk to Nic, even if it didn’t change anything. Nic deserved to know how she really felt about her.

“Claire, Jordan, how are you ladies holding up?” Father O’Reilly approached the two women and gave them both a warm embrace. Turning towards Claire he said, “How is Grace, my dear?”

“She’s fine Father, a little overwhelmed I think, but it will all be over soon. Then the adjustment starts.”

“Well, she has a fine mother who I know will help her through it all. I just stopped by to make sure everything was in order for tomorrow’s funeral. So if you will excuse me.” Kissing Claire on the cheek, Father O’Reilly turned to go into the church.

“Uh Father, can I talk to you for a minute? Jordan you don’t mind, do you?”

“No. I need to freshen up myself. See you inside. Bye Father, see you tomorrow.”

“What’s wrong, Claire? I can see you seem troubled. Is it Michael’s mother? Would you like me to talk to her?”

“No Father. It’s Nic. Have you seen her?” Claire looked down at her hands that were twisting a handkerchief. “I haven’t seen her since before she left to pick up Mike.”

“I spoke to her briefly once after she returned but that’s been all. Odd she hasn’t been by to see you. Well, perhaps she knows you have lots of family and the last thing you need is someone else hanging around.” Father O’Reilly smiled warmly as he grasped Claire’s hands. “What is really bothering you, Claire?”

“Thank God! Sorry Father, I was afraid she’d been shipped out.”

Claire began to cry as Father O’Reilly led her to a nearby bench and sat down with her, putting a strong arm around her shoulders.

“There, there Claire. Whatever has happened between you two surely can’t be that bad. Perhaps it’s a simple misunderstanding,” the priest said.

Claire began to tell the priest about the conversation she had had with Nic just before she left for the airport, about the missed message Nic had left and about the fact that she hadn’t called Nic back until it was too late. Now Nic thought she didn’t want to talk to her because Nic didn’t answer her phone when she called.

“Claire, what makes you think it is too late? Sometimes things happen for a reason and perhaps this has helped you to understand how you really feel about Nic. Before Nic left perhaps you weren’t ready to think of a life that included her, because of Nic’s career in the military, or perhaps because of what Mike’s death really means to you. You can finally live your own life, if you choose.” Claire looked up into the wrinkled face that seemed to smile when no smile was there. “But shouldn’t you let Nic decide what is good for her, if she loves you like she said she does? Nic will make the right choices. If not, then God has other plans for you two. But, I think you owe it to Nic to tell her how you really feel, don’t you?

“Yes but…”

“No, Claire, no buts. Promise me that you will talk to her. Promise?” Now the priest was smiling and his eyes twinkled.

“I will, Father. I promise.”

“Good. Now if you will excuse me, I need to take care of something for tomorrow.” Reaching down he kissed Claire’s cheek and left her to sit in the sun.

Claire closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair, the warmth of the day feeling good to her tired body. She thought about Nic and wondered where she was. She needed to talk to her, to set everything straight and get on with her life one way or the other.

N
ic sat at her desk finishing a stack of paperwork that had accumulated while she was gone. Forty-eight hours and someone would think all hell broke loose while she was gone. She knew she would be glad when she was done with this job and out of the Marine Corps. But for now she had a job to do and, until she had a date leaving military service, nothing was a guarantee. She had spent a good portion of the last couple of days talking to her friend at the Naval Post Graduate School in Monterey. To her surprise, they still needed an anti-terrorism expert. After quizzing him about the surrounding area and the cost of living, she told him she would need a day or two to think about it but if the offer was still open he could expect to see her resume, which she had faxed to him that morning.

Nic sat at her desk thinking about Claire and how she was doing. She missed her, missed her a lot, and it was all she could do not to call her, but Claire had decided for them when she didn’t call Nic back. Nic did a lot of things when she was interested in a woman but chase her wasn’t one of them. Although if she
was
going to chase, Claire would be worth it.

Nic’s phone buzzed. “Major, Father O’Reilly is here to see you. Shall I send him in?”

“Of course Sergeant. Please send him in.”

Nic stood up and waited for the priest to come in.

“Good Afternoon, Father. Shouldn’t you be at the church or with Mike’s family or something? I mean, not that I’m not glad to see you but I figured you would be needed somewhere else right now.” She motioned to the seat in front of her desk as she spoke.

“Well, actually Nic, I am on a mission, so to speak.” Smiling, the priest declined the coffee Nic offered.

Nic sat back in her seat and steepled her hands in front of her.

“Okay, so what brings you to my neck of the woods, Father?”

“Claire Monroe.”

“Claire? Is something wrong? Is she okay?” Nic began to rise from her seat but the priest motioned her down and back into it.

“Yes, but it seems she is having a problem, Nic, and perhaps you can help her?”

“Well, I’ll do what I can Father, but at this point I don’t think she needs my help anymore.”

“On the contrary, it seems there was some miscommunication recently and she is rather upset over it.”

“Father, I don’t think I follow you,” Nic said, hoping this conversation wasn’t going where she thought it was going.

“Nic, I think you do. I had a rather long conversation with Claire today. She was very distraught—”

“Father, she just lost her husband so she is going to be distraught….”

“Nic, do you remember when I told you that you and Claire had more in common than you might think? Well, I knew about Mike and Claire’s relationship.” Father O’Reilly waited while his words sunk in.

“Let me get this straight. You knew about the Monroe’s marriage?” Nic couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Father O’Reilly had known all along that Mike and Claire were gay.

“Yes.”

“But you’re an officer and …”

Cutting Nic off again, he said, “I wore a collar long before I wore camouflage Nic, and what is said in the sanctity of the church beats any “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.”

Stunned, Nic sat staring at the priest. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Never had she been in a situation like this where a high ranking officer choose to overlook something so…so egregious.

“Nic, if I didn’t keep the sanctity of the church what use would I be to my parishioners? I love my country, I love my parishioners, but most of all, I love my God and I don’t judge my flock. That isn’t my job. When Mike came to me and confessed in confessional, I couldn’t judge him. He told me he had left that lifestyle behind, and I chose to believe him.”

Nic thought about the picture she had found in Mike’s possessions. She would never be the one to tell the priest that Mike might have lied, or maybe he didn’t lie. Maybe he thought he had, but it was just too hard. Either way, it wasn’t her job. Like the priest she had a duty, too, and that was to keep an old friend’s secrets.

“I understand. So why are you here?”

“On behalf of a friend. You.”

“Okay, now I am confused. I didn’t call you, Father.”

“As I said earlier, I spoke with a very distraught Claire. I hope you don’t mind, but she confided in me.”

“Father, I am not sure I like where this is going. Didn’t you just say that you’re under some sort of order not to divulge private matters discussed with you?”

“Well yes and no. Claire isn’t Catholic and it wasn’t said in the church.”

“But you’re a man of the cloth, right?”

“Minor technicality, but yes.”

Nic needed to stop the conversation. If he told her what she thought he was going to say, she could be court-martialed at worst, or be given a dishonorable discharge at best.

“Look, Father I can explain…” Nic got up and closed the door that led to Sergeant Ross’s desk and turned to face Father O’Reilly. “I’m not sure how to say this but…”

“Stop, Nic. I’m not here to accuse you of anything so before you say anything else, please sit down and listen to me.”

Nic felt a cold sweat break out across her body. Sitting down, she took a deep breath and held it as she tried to stop from blacking out. Never before had she imagined being caught and never by a Chaplain or another officer. She had always been discreet and now her whole career was flashing before her eyes.

“Nic, deep breaths. Trust me on this okay? Good, nice deep breaths Nic. Relax. Are you okay?”

Nodding, Nic looked down at her hands and wished she was anywhere else but there.

“Nic, I had a long conversation with Claire, and before you say anything, remember I am here as a friend. It seems that you two have had some miscommunication in the past few days. All I am going to say is that I think you need to go and see her now. She is at the church until around eight tonight. I have asked her to come to the office right after that to talk about tomorrow. I want you to be there. That’s an order. You don’t have to say anything but I want you to listen. You owe her that.”

Without another word Father O’Reilly got up and turned to leave. “See you tomorrow at the funeral.”

Nic sat at her desk, her hands covering her mouth. Did Father O’Reilly just give her a pass on what he knew about her and Claire? Wait, did he just plan a clandestine meeting for her with Claire? Nic slumped back against her chair, suddenly spent. One minute she was watching her career pass before her eyes, and the next she was being ordered to meet another woman at the church rectory.