Always in My Heart (19 page)

Chapter 19

C
allie had an odd sensation as her eyelids fluttered, trying to open. It was a sensation of confusion and disorientation.

Where was she?

She heard a steady beeping sound, and her heart rate began to accelerate. She knew something was wrong.

Forcing her eyes open, they slowly came into focus. White. That was what she saw. White all around her, nearly blinding in its intensity. Once again, she closed her eyes.

Then she heard the words, “Oh, thank God.”

That voice…Tamara’s voice.

Opening her eyes, Callie let them adjust to the light in the room. “Yes, that’s it,” Tamara said. “Fight to stay awake.”

Callie turned her head to the left, and Tamara came into focus. Tamara was sitting beside her, her hands clasped beneath her chin as if she’d been praying.

Again, confusion assailed her.

“I was so worried,” Tamara said. “We both were.”

Tamara turned then, looking to her right. Callie followed her line of sight, and saw that Tamara’s son, Michael was standing against a wall. That was when Callie noticed the heart monitoring machine. Her eyes tracking the steady rise and fall of the green line, alarm gripped her.

Realization hit her. She was in the hospital.

And then it all came back. Being at the house in Tallahassee. Ringing the doorbell. Patrick coming to the door. Patrick grabbing her by the neck and raising his fist.

“What happened?” Callie asked. “What did Patrick do to me?”

Clearly he had hurt her badly enough to land her in the hospital.

“Oh, God,” Tamara said, a choked sob following her words. “I’m so sorry. He called me, and I was just so afraid he would hurt someone else I cared about that I told him where I was. I know you said I shouldn’t, but I thought…I thought I could work it out. And I think he was close to figuring it out anyway, because he wasn’t more than an hour away. I know I should have called you to tell you that he was at the house, but I really didn’t think it was an issue anymore. He was acting so much differently. Calmer. Nicer. He seemed happy to be with me again, and I thought I’d made the right decision. But then he saw you…he saw you and he freaked out.”

Callie had a flash of a memory of what had happened, and she raised a hand to her forehead. She felt the bandage there. Yes—she had sustained some sort of head trauma again. But how bad it was, she didn’t know.

It was daylight outside. Callie asked, “How long have I been here?”

“Since last night,” Tamara said. And then she paused. A tear fell down her face. “I’ve never been so afraid in all of my life.”

“Where is he now?” That was what Callie was concerned about. She didn’t care if Tamara didn’t testify against him, because she would. She may not have been able to identify him as the driver who had forced her off the road, but she had him cold as the man who’d assaulted her.

Callie was tired of the Patricks of the world using and abusing people and getting away with it.

“He was arrested,” Tamara said softly.

“Really?” Callie was surprised Patrick had stayed around long enough to let the police capture him. “How?”

Tamara’s eyes went toward her son, and she smiled softly. “When Patrick attacked you, Michael came out of nowhere. He had a frying pan. And he just started hitting Patrick, hitting him until he stopped hurting you. I mean, Patrick was beating on you really bad.” Tamara gestured to Michael, whose eyes had been downcast the entire time. “Come here, son.”

“I just wanted him to stop,” Michael said as he came to stand beside his mother.

“You’re a hero,” Callie told him, hoping to help alleviate any guilt he might feel.

“That’s right,” Tamara concurred. “You’re a hero. I have no doubt that you saved Callie’s life.” She affectionately patted her son’s hand, and he smiled for the first time.

“Thank you,” Callie said. “You were very brave.”

“He won’t be hurting you again,” Tamara said. “Nor me. He won’t be hurting anyone. His bail has been revoked, so he’ll be in jail until his trial.”

“You have no reason to fear testifying against him,” Callie said. “And I’m going to testify against him, as well. This latest assault is going to guarantee that he goes away for a long, long time.”

Tamara nodded, but there was sadness in her eyes. Callie could only imagine that this was a bittersweet moment for her friend. Despite the happiness that Patrick had been apprehended, Tamara had to have some regrets. The biggest was no doubt the regret that the person she had loved had turned out to be such a monster.

Callie’s mind ventured to her own situation, to just how stark the contrast between Nigel and Patrick was. Patrick had never wanted to be separated from Tamara, in part claiming he didn’t want to be out of his son’s life, but he had hardly been an ideal father. Nigel, on the other hand, had not been involved in his son’s life through no fault of his own but had stepped up to the plate to be the father he knew Kwame needed him to be.

It was a huge part of why Callie loved him. And yet she had run from him for far less substantial reasons than Tamara had run from Patrick.

“I hope you don’t mind that I called your family in Cleveland,” Tamara said. “Nigel and Kwame are on their way.”

Callie’s eyes widened as she looked at Tamara, and her heart pounded against her chest. “You did?”

Tamara nodded. “I did. I felt they needed to know. I called your uncle, and he said he’d call Nigel and Kwame, but I asked for the number so I could do it myself. I felt I owed Kwame that.”

Good Lord, how worried her son must be. “What did Kwame say?”

“He just wanted to know if you were okay, that was the only thing he asked. I told him you were going to be fine, but that you’d been badly hurt.”

“My poor baby. To get a phone call like that.”

“He took the news better than Nigel did.”

At the mention of Nigel, Callie’s stomach fluttered. “What—what did Nigel say?”

“He was flustered, that’s for sure. Grilled me about what had happened, where Patrick was now, and of course, where you were. He even called the hospital and spoke to the physician about you.”

“He did?” Callie asked, her lips curling into a small smile. How silly she was, feeling a measure of happiness that Nigel had been so concerned.

“He said he was going to get on a flight immediately, but when I pointed out the time, he contemplated driving. Ultimately, I told him that a flight in the morning would be the best thing—faster, safer. I expect he’ll be here shortly.”

Again, Callie’s stomach fluttered. Was Nigel simply a man who was concerned about her as a friend? Or did his concern mean something more?

Even now, she held out hope that he would love her completely, as he once had. Amazing how hard it was to let go of that dream.

Callie couldn’t help remembering Nigel’s words. He’d said to her that she had offered him no guarantees that she wouldn’t run again. She had figured that giving herself to him—body and soul—should have made her feelings clear. But suddenly she was seeing his position in a different light.

The fact that he had even opened himself up to her had shown that he
did
care. Time, distance and their complicated history had likely changed him. The Nigel she had known ten years ago wasn’t afraid to share his feelings, but could Callie blame him for guarding his heart, if that’s what he was doing? He was afraid, too. Afraid because she had left him once before.

And the fact that Callie had faced death once again—knowing that she might never have seen her son one more time, nor the man she loved—was beyond sobering.

When she saw Nigel, she would lay her heart on the line. She hadn’t really done that for him. And she knew why—having been abandoned by her mother, she didn’t trust people. She tended to close herself off before she could get hurt. To push people away before they could push her away.

Had she really been that different with Nigel this time around? Seeing him again had been about him getting to know his son, but the unexpected had happened. Her relationship with Nigel had reignited. She had allowed herself to feel what she was feeling, and the passion had been exquisite. But had anything changed on her part to assure Nigel that this time she wouldn’t leave?

The very fact that he had proposed marriage spoke volumes…but hearing him say that he loved her would still be exactly what she wanted.

She had considered heading back to Florida to resume her job, and having Kwame see Nigel regularly throughout the year. But suddenly, she wondered if that sort of part-time parenthood would be good enough. She wasn’t certain if marriage was the best answer, but having deprived Nigel of Kwame for so many years of his life, didn’t she owe it to him to relocate to Cleveland to allow Nigel to be a real father to his son?

Tamara looked toward Michael and said, “Son, do you mind going to the cafeteria and picking up a couple of orange juices or apple juice?”

“Sure,” he said.

Tamara gave him a few dollars—and a hug—and then Michael left the room. Once he was gone, Tamara looked at her friend and said, “Tell me what’s going on. I for one was shocked to call Cleveland and learn that Kwame was staying with Nigel. I see there’s a lot you haven’t filled me in on.”

“I’m not sure there’s anything to tell.”

Tamara frowned. “Uh-oh. It’s complicated, isn’t it?”

“Kinda sorta.”

“You know you can tell me anything. You’re my best friend.”

So Callie told her. Told her about how she and Nigel had reunited, how Nigel had fit into their life perfectly, that Kwame especially was elated to know his father. “And then he proposed,” Callie concluded.

Tamara’s eyes lit up. “He proposed? That’s wonderful!” She paused. “Isn’t it?”

“I told him no.”

“What?”

“I didn’t want to marry him—not if he didn’t love me. Because I asked if he loved me, and he couldn’t say that he did.”

“But this is Nigel,” Tamara said. “I know how much you loved him.”

“Which is why the decision was so hard. It would have been easier if I had no feelings for him at all. How could I marry him and bear being so close to him, knowing he didn’t return my feelings?”

“I sense a but…”

“But now I’m wondering, rethinking everything. Here I am, lying in a hospital bed. I could have been killed. And I know part of that is because I ran the moment I had a chance. You had a problem, and yes I wanted to be there for you, but your problem became a reason for me to run from Nigel once again. Damn him, he was so right to be guarded.”

“What exactly are you saying?” Tamara asked.

“He said something to me,” Callie explained. “When I asked if he loved me, he said I’d given him no guarantee that I was in it for the long haul. Of course, I was thinking why should I marry him unless he gave
me
a guarantee…but I see now that he had every reason to distrust me. I ran again—the first moment I could.”

“Did
you
tell him that you love him?” Tamara asked.

“I…” Callie’s voice trailed off as she thought of the answer. Good Lord, she hadn’t. She had hoped—expected—that Nigel would tell her that he loved her, but she hadn’t told him that herself. She had shown him, but what if that wasn’t enough? What if that wasn’t enough for a man whom she had hurt probably more than anyone could ever hurt him?

“I didn’t,” Callie said softly. “I just thought…I thought he would know.”

“Why—because he’s psychic?” Tamara challenged.

“Oh God…” Callie’s voice trailed off once again as she thought of the gravity of the situation.

“You’re not the only one who needs reassurance, now are you?” Tamara asked. “All I can say is this. If Patrick was half the man that Nigel appears to be, I wouldn’t hesitate to marry him. And if we had the kind of love you two had? Heck, it’d be a no-brainer.”

* * *

At the sound of the soft knocking, Callie looked in the direction of the door. She figured Tamara and Michael were returning from having their snack, but instead, she saw Nigel and Kwame appear as the door slowly opened.

“Mommy!” Kwame exclaimed, and ran straight toward her. Callie giggled as she thought he was about to throw himself onto her, not caring if she felt any physical pain. Just seeing her son again was the kind of medicine she needed.

But Kwame stopped short of that, and instead leaned over her and hugged her as gently as he could.

“Oh, my baby,” Callie said and kissed the top of his head. Her eyes misted at the thought that things could have played out very differently for her son. What if she had left him without a mother?

Kwame eased backward and sat in the chair beside the bed. Callie looked toward the door at Nigel, who appeared to be waiting for her and Kwame to have their moment before entering. Then, holding her gaze, he slowly entered the room.

Callie’s breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, at his strong, sexy movements. She wondered if she would ever tire of seeing him. If that rush that came with the first glimpse of him would ever get old.

She knew that it would not.