Avian (The Dragonrider Chronicles) (18 page)

“So, what about being an academy commander?” I asked as I tried to shake those memories from my mind. “Where does that fall in the rankings?”

Felix shrugged as he wandered across our small room to flop down on his bed. “It’s the same as captain, but there’s only one academy so there’s only one commander. The king hand-chooses the new academy commander himself. He usually gives it to a dragonrider who’s shown good leadership in combat, or who’s been injured such that he can’t fight anymore. I’m actually surprised Sile didn’t get it. It’s not the most glamorous job in the world. I mean, he’s basically a glorified babysitter for all of us, right?”

I got a sour taste in my mouth. Immediately, I remembered the rumor Mr. Crookin had told me while we were in the mountains. Thinking about Sile going into Luntharda made me forget how to walk. Before I realized it, I was standing in the doorway staring into space.

“What’s wrong?” Felix was looking me over like he was concerned.

I wasn’t sure how much I should tell him. Sile had warned me about saying too much. But I needed to know if the rumor was true or not.

“I saw Sile during the interlude,” I finally admitted.

He frowned at me suspiciously. “What do you mean? He went to Mithangol?”

“No.” I shut the door behind me before I dared to say anything else. “I got a letter from Beckah. She wanted me to come visit. They’re living in Saltmarsh now. That’s where I was when this growth spurt hit.”

I started to explain as we went into our room. Our new dorm room wasn’t that much bigger than the last one. It was more like a closet with three beds crammed into it, and a skinny window on the far wall. Felix had picked the bed in the middle, and I knew why without even having to ask. He wanted to put himself between Lyon and me in case our old enemy tried anything suspicious.

But now Felix was glaring at me like he might reconsider that. “You’ve been holding out on me,” he said accusingly.

I winced and shuffled to sit on the bed next to the window. “Sile didn’t want me to tell anyone. You know how he is.” I knew that wasn’t a good excuse.

“So what’s going on?” he demanded.

It took a while for me to tell him about what had happened during the interlude. I didn’t go into too much detail about how my family had abandoned me. That didn’t even bother me that much; they’d never felt like a family to me, anyway. I was way more concerned about what had happened at the Derrick’s house.

I told him everything about Beckah and Icarus, and how Sile didn’t seem like he was wounded at all. He had been plenty capable when he sparred with me. I told him about my suspicion that someone was still after Sile. Whoever it was, Sile was running scared, and he had a lot to lose if they ever caught up to him. It had to be more than some dumb plot about an immortality ritual. I’d never even heard of a god stone, or whatever they called it.

I kept the details about what had happened with Sile’s wife to myself. I didn’t want anyone to know about how I had somehow healed her. I wasn’t sure how it happened, or if I could even do it again. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I needed answers first. I knew if I said anything now, Felix would probably give me that weird look again—like I was transforming into some kind of monster right before his eyes. I hated it when people looked at me like that, but it hurt even more when Felix did it.

I told him about what had happened in the mountains, and how I couldn’t talk to the wolves or the big mountain cat that had attacked me. I repeated everything Bren had told me about other animal attacks that were happening throughout the kingdom, but when it came time to ask him about the rumor… I choked. I didn’t know how to ask. It sounded like an accusation, and I didn’t want to be the one pointing fingers at Sile’s back.

“So,” Felix sounded overwhelmed. He paused to take a breath. “Basically Beckah’s a dragonrider, the animals are all going rabid, and Sile is still being hunted by some unknown enemy who wants to murder him and his family?”

I couldn’t answer. It was a lot to think about, even when he summed it up like that.

“And you seriously thought you could handle all that by yourself?” He laughed, but the atmosphere was still tense. “Well, I don’t know anything about crazy animals attacking people. I haven’t heard anything about it. Sile’s probably right about you getting too involved in his personal affairs. You’ll get distracted from what you should be focused on. We’re here to train. This is what’s most important now, right? Just forget everything else. If you’re constantly worrying about something a hundred miles away, you’re liable to get killed by something two feet in front of you.”

He did have a point. I already had so much on my mind. It was hard to keep my eyes on my goal when the rest of my life felt like it was spinning out of control. Somehow, I had to get it together. I had to focus.

“Besides,” he said. I could hear the mischievous grin in his voice without ever having to look at him. “You were holding out on the most important detail of all. How long did you think you could hide it from me?”

“Hide what?”

He chuckled wickedly. “That you’re in love with Beckah.”

I wanted to deny it. I also wanted to punch his lights out. But I couldn’t do anything except look away with my ears burning like they were on fire.

Felix saw my reaction, and it made his eyes gleam dangerously. “You’re not even denying it!”

“What’s the point?” I tried to deflect. “You’ll tease me about it no matter what I say.”

He wasn’t listening. He’d already launched into harassing me, and I knew nothing would stop him now. “You know, I kind of feel bad for telling everyone you weren’t stupid. You should know better than to go after an instructor’s daughter. Do you have a death wish?”

“I’m not going after her,” I snapped. It wasn’t a lie, but I wasn’t necessarily proud of that. I kind of wished it had been.

“Yeah, right.” Felix rolled his eyes. “Take a little advice from someone who actually has experience with girls, okay? Stay away from her. Sile will literally kill you if he ever catches you two together. And considering how many friends you have in the world, it’d probably be best not to lose the one who’s paying for all your stuff.”

I still couldn’t figure out how to ask Felix about the rumor. After he fell asleep, I couldn’t stand to stay cooped up in our room either. I was restless, and listening to him snore wasn’t helping at all. So I laced up my boots and went down to the dining hall to swipe a few spare beef bones from the trash bins. Then I started for the Roost.

The night air was cold, and the moon was so bright it put shadows on the ground. All the other students and instructors were closed up in their rooms, resting for the next day. The craftsmen had already put away their tools and shut down their work for the night. I caught a glimpse of the red-hot coals still smoldering in a few of the forges as I passed the armory. It made me wonder if Mr. Crookin and the others had ever made it here.

When I arrived at the Roost, a few avians were still doing the cleaning detail rounds. As fledglings, we’d gotten away with not having to do much in the way of care when it came to our dragons. But according to Felix, this year would be different. We would have to take turns cleaning all the stalls and lugging around big buckets of raw meat to feed the hungry dragons. We would have to oil our own saddles, and clean our own weapons.

None of the other avians paid me any attention as I made my way to Mavrik’s stall. It wasn’t a very large room, but it was just big enough for a dragon to nest in. The floor was covered with soft hay, and there was a trough of water along one of the walls. The Roost was built like a giant honeycomb, with no walls on one side so the dragons could fly in and out. Through the opening in Mavrik’s stall, I could see the whole academy shimmering in the night. I could see the moonlight shining off the snowy mountain peaks in the distance, and thousands of stars.

Mavrik was curled up like a mound of blue scales. His wings were folded up tight, and his snout was resting on the tip of his tail. When I came in, he opened one of his big yellow eyes and studied me. I saw an image of myself sleeping in my bed flash through my mind.

I smirked and gave him a shrug. “I tried. I can’t sleep. You know how Felix snores. It’s like listening to a bear try to cough up a hairball.”

He made a grumbling sound and closed his eye again.

I tossed the cow bones right in front of his nose as I sat down in the straw next to him. Immediately, his big nostrils puffed open wide as he smelled the scraps of meat and cartilage still left on the bones. He opened his mouth lazily, snaking out his long black tongue to twist it around one of the bones and drag it into his jaws. The sound of his teeth crunching the big bone into splinters made me cringe.

“You’re welcome.” I shuddered and looked away.

Leaning against his scaly neck, I could feel him breathing and moving as he chewed. It made me feel calmer, like I could finally hear myself think, and I didn’t have to hide anything anymore. Mavrik knew all these secrets and rumors were beginning to smother me. I couldn’t hide anything from him.

“Being back here like this reminds me of when we met,” I murmured.

Mavrik made a few low, clicking sounds as he crunched on another bone. The image of our meeting, of when I first came into the breaking dome and saw him, came into my mind. It was bizarre to see myself from his perspective. I had looked so terrified, small, and pathetic. My face was covered in bruises from the beatings I’d taken. But for whatever reason, Mavrik had chosen me.

“I’ll keep my promise,” I told him. “When this is over, maybe we’ll both be free to find our own peace somewhere.”

Mavrik started to push his big snout up against my arm, insisting that I rub him. He purred as I scratched at his snout and ears, resting his big head on my leg. It was so heavy it started to cut off the circulation, but I didn’t want him to move. Being so close to him made me feel safe.

I took out Beckah’s handkerchief and rubbed my thumb over the embroidery of the two dragons. I wondered where she was. Maybe she was standing on the beach with Icarus again, or talking to some grocer about how well she could stitch.

“A girl gave that to you, right?” An angry voice hissed at me suddenly.

When I looked up, I was shocked and a little relieved to see Katty was standing in the stall’s doorway. After what had happened with the wolves and the mountain cat, I was concerned about what would happen if they got attacked again.

Katty didn’t look happy at all to see me, though. Her arms were crossed, and she looked every bit as furious as the last time she’d caught me staring at that handkerchief. I quickly put it in my pocket.

“You look at it a lot.” Her nose wrinkled up like she had smelled something terrible.

Behind me, I felt Mavrik’s side vibrate as he growled. He lifted his head off my leg to look at her, showing his teeth and twitching the end of his tail. Apparently, he still hadn’t forgiven her.

I put a hand against his snout to try to calm him before I answered her, “Yeah. Why does that matter to you?”

She blinked like someone had spat in her face. I saw her cheeks start to get red, and she dropped her hands to her sides. The rage on her face finally broke, and she started to look sad. Tears welled in her eyes. I wasn’t expecting that.

“I made a mistake,” she whispered. It sounded like she was clenching her teeth. “You’re not like a brother to me. I don’t know why I said that. It’s not true.”

I was starting to get uncomfortable. “Katty, it’s fine. I lost my temper, too. But everything’s okay now. We can still be friends.”

She started to get angry again. Her hands curled up into fists. “That’s not what I mean,” she snapped.

Before I could ask her what she was talking about, Katty came stomping across the stall and dropped down onto her knees in front of me. She grabbed my face in both of her hands, and glared at me like she was expecting me to do something. When I didn’t move, she made an annoyed huffing sound and started leaning toward me.

Alarm bells were ringing in my head like crazy. Nothing about this was right. I couldn’t go through with it. Before she could kiss me, I put a hand against her shoulder to stop her. Our noses were only a few inches apart.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

Her eyes popped open like she was stunned. I could feel her breath on my face. “Don’t you want to kiss me? It feels good. You’ll like it, I promise.”

“No.” I slowly pushed her back away from me. “You know this isn’t right. What about Bren? I thought you liked him?”

She scowled. Her chin started trembling. “How can you reject me like this? Like I’m nothing!” Her voice was shaking, and her eyes were glaring right into mine. It felt like I was staring into a churning black abyss. It felt like chaos. “You think just because you’re some big shot dragonrider now, you can toss me aside and have any girl you want? You think the girl who gave you that handkerchief cares about you?”

“What are you talking about?”

I didn’t understand where all this anger was coming from. I was so bewildered by what she was saying; I didn’t notice she was rearing back to hit me until it was too late. She slapped me hard across the face. “You’re wrong! I’m the only one who will ever care anything about you. It doesn’t matter what job you get, what you look like, or where you go. You’ll always be a halfbreed. No girl will ever love you like I do. You’ll never have anyone. It’s me or no one.”

She started to slap me again, but I caught her wrist. Behind me, Mavrik was snarling again. His ears were slicked back, and he was sending me mental images of how he wanted to bite her head off—literally. I wasn’t sure how long his patience was going to last.

“Katty, stop it!” I held onto her wrist tightly as she started to fight me.

She was strong because of her work as a blacksmith’s apprentice, and it didn’t take long for her to pry herself away from me. She stood up and started trying to hit me again. I had to use a few sparring moves to hold her off so I could get to my feet.

I didn’t want to fight her, but this had to stop. When she started to attack me again, I spun her around into a grappling hold with her arms pinned behind her back. I made sure I did everything I could to hold her still without hurting her. She started cursing at me as I forced her to walk out of the stall. Once we were in the hallway, I let her go and took a step back.