Awaken (The Awaken Series Book 1) (2 page)

I wasn’t quite sure when I had started breaking the rule against obscenities, but I noticed that most of the kids in high school also ignored the rule. I had even heard some adults defy it. My parents blamed any sort of corruption like this on the Outsiders—the people who lived beyond our walls before deciding to become citizens of Oportet.

“What is it?” Jasper snatched the paper from my hands, smirking once more when I shot him a death glare. His eyes scanned the page, and I watched as the corners of his mouth tipped upward like there was something humorous about a research prompt. “You know what this means, don’t you?” he said finally. I quickly removed my gaze from his mouth and looked out the classroom window.

“What?” I asked. He was now drumming his fingers on the table, and I refrained from smacking them quiet.

“That we have a date. Since it was assigned by a teacher, I’m sure you will attend,” he mocked.
 

I suppressed a smile, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I found his clever insult amusing. “Whatever. It just can’t be tonight.”

Jasper glanced up at the clock, and then started to pack up his backpack, mere seconds left before the bell rang. “Of course not. We wouldn’t want to interfere with the princess’s agenda.”
 

I rolled my eyes and stood from my seat. I did not enjoy being called a princess. The rest of the class was catching on now, collecting their things as they wrapped up planning with research partners.

“Would you be able to meet me Saturday? At noon?” I asked in a less than interested tone.
 

Jasper looked up at me and seemed to mentally scan through his weekend plans. “Yeah, that will work. I just need your phone number in case something comes up.”
 

That was actually a good idea—in case we needed to do some of the project over the phone. Oportet only allowed certain modes of technology, but home phones were permitted. I had once overheard an Outsider describe what he called cell phones, which were personal, portable telephones, and it made me wonder why the Council would ban such a convenient tool.

Jasper and I exchanged house numbers as the bell rang, and I swore it looked like he was enjoying this assignment more than he should have been.

I woke up in my bed drenched in sweat, with an awful headache and nausea. I hated being sick more than anything. It made me feel so useless and weak.

I remembered my dream in a startling level of vivid detail. It actually didn’t feel like a dream at all… and the lab partner—Jasper—was the boy I had seen yesterday. I wished I could have stayed in my dream world longer. It was familiar and comforting to just be with this strange and fascinating boy. It actually felt a little
too
familiar…

I sat up, stunned: It was a memory.
 

The neurosurgeons had all said that any memory I had lost to my accident was gone for good. Why would they tell my parents something so extreme if it had the possibility of not being true? I was both relieved and scared that I might regain my memories.
 

What if I remembered something about my rebellious year that I didn’t want to remember? In a way, my accident had helped me recover from my acts of disobedience. Not recalling the dark things I had said and thought sped up my counseling sessions with the Council and my road back into the standards of Oportet. I had to admit that it was a shame that my senior year was an empty canvass, especially since I took a lot of classes pertaining to occupational exploration.

So that was where I knew Jasper from—we had classes together my senior year of high school. Though, that didn’t exactly help me figure out why he was acting so strange in the parking lot. Maybe I would get to see him again so he could explain. That is what I was trying to convince myself: that I needed to see Jasper again only because he could help me with my cloudy memories, and not because of this internal longing for his presence that felt both foreign and natural to me at the same time. Something odd was going on with my memories, and somehow this boy I thought I had never seen before had everything to do with it.

It took me a while to pull myself out of bed and slip on some comfortable clothing. By the time I had reached the kitchen, Mother was the only one still home. She was sitting at our quaint kitchen table sipping her usual dose of green tea. She looked up from her paperwork when she heard me approach, her eyes softening.

“Oh, honey, you look terrible!” She set down her tea and hurried to the medicine cabinet, presumably for flu medicine.

“I
feel
worse,” I mumbled as I plopped down in a chair in front of her. I swallowed down the pills and thought of how to tell her about the miracle of my remembrance.

“How did you sleep last night?” She sat and continued her work.

“Well, something very strange happened.”
 

Mother knitted her brows as she looked up to meet my eyes, but remained silent.
 

“I kind of remembered something from before the accident.”
 

Something flashed in her eyes—excitement, maybe—and her hand tightened ever-so-slightly around her mug. “Really?” She raised a brow, waiting for me to elaborate.

I opened my mouth, about to tell her the entire memory, but something stopped me. “It was just a random memory from one of my first days of senior year.”

“And you’re sure it wasn’t just a dream?”
 

“Yes, of course. It felt so real. And a lot lined up with what I know happened—like my teacher Mrs. Lawrence, and my last block being science.” Why wasn’t I mentioning Jasper? It was like someone had locked that section of my mind and hidden the key from my mouth.

“It is absolutely impossible for you to have remembered something that you lost from the accident. The neurosurgeons expressly told us that it just couldn’t happen. You must have just imagined it, or it wasn’t a memory that you had lost. The human mind works in unexplainable ways sometimes.” Mother nodded and smiled like she was proud to have made sense of the situation.

Was it possible? It seemed unlikely that something so vivid could have been a dream, but even more unlikely that what I dreamt last night could’ve been a memory I had never lost. It just didn’t add up. I would have recognized Jasper in the parking lot or backstage, wouldn’t I have? But after that dream—
memory
—I felt like I had uncovered something I thought was lost forever.

But what did I know? I should believe what the neurosurgeons and my parents were telling me and write off any thoughts of my own. I wouldn’t want to seem disobedient or untrusting of Mother’s superiority. I had broken far too many of Oportet’s rules in my lifetime, and they were all broken within the memories I had lost. I had to remember: My accident was a
blessing
.

“I guess you’re right. It must have been my mind playing tricks on me.”

Mother let out a breath and took a sip of her tea. “Of course, darling. Remember to come to me if you have any other questions, okay?” She searched my eyes for a moment, and then her shoulders relaxed as she sat back in her chair.

“I will.”

Mother’s face calmed slightly as she scribbled down notes. Her body language was enough to let me know that this conversation was both over and a waste of her time. She worked as a secretary for the Council, and was constantly filing paperwork—even on the weekends. I was disappointed in myself for bothering her first thing in the morning, drawing her away from her work. I gave my head a little shake. This case of the flu was screwing with my mind.

~~~~~

The medicine kicked in about halfway through the book I was reading about the founding of Oportet, and I immediately felt my body cooling. As I turned the pages, I became more and more disinterested. My mind floated elsewhere, and no matter how hard I tried, I could not stop thinking about the mysterious boy who now haunted my dreams.
 

Jasper
.

Even with my brain running at full capacity, I simply couldn’t figure out what was so important about him. I traced buried memories from the summer before senior year, which produced a wave of strong emotions: despair and this unmistakable feeling of dread that weighed me down, suffocating me anytime I tried to remember the events of last year.
 

And still, when it came to Jasper? Nothing.

Every single file in my mind was completely void of Jasper. Was that even his name? Or did my subconscious mind just make that up, along with the rest of the dream? There was only one way to find out, and it scared the hell out of me.

I had to somehow track this boy down and ask him. There were a great many problems to this plan. Like the fact that the last time he saw me he looked at me like I did something to royally piss him off. Or he may not be a part of my past at all. Yet, even with all of the difficulties presented, the internal forces that needed me to find him and get the truth were not letting up, and I almost didn’t want them to.

~~~~~

“Jenna would like you to call her,” Father announced. At the verge of sleep, I jolted up at the sudden burst of noise.

“Okay,” I responded after letting out a loud yawn. After a few more moments of resting, I groggily struggled out from beneath my cozy blankets and shuffled to the upstairs phone.

The hallway was surprisingly dark for that early in the day. I battled with the multitude of switches on the wall until I found the right one. I squinted as the entire hallway was illuminated with a blinding light. I groaned as I continued down the hall, stopping to notice the time on the grandfather clock.

It was 10:40 PM. That explained my growling stomach and quiet home. I must have fallen back asleep after Father came in. I retreated back down the hall, and then paused when I heard strained, frantic voices from my parent’s room. I knew better than to eavesdrop, but something about the tone of Mother’s voice made me freeze in my tracks.

“I just didn’t know what to do, or how to handle it! I know you talked with him and he confirmed everything we already knew, but…oh, I don’t know, David! It just seemed different, so concerning…what if—”

“Jennifer. You know that’s impossible.” My father’s insistent voice made me cringe from the other side of the door. Whatever they were discussing was private, and I was definitely intruding. I scurried back to my room, wondering for the fifth time today what was wrong with my common sense.

Everything felt different as I lay in the warmth of my bed. My mind fully alert, all I could do was absently trace my fingers over the intricate patterns woven into my comforter. Even in the dark, I envisioned the familiar floral designs etched into the fabric: the patterns that had been consistent since I could barely talk. It was nice to have something, even something as insignificant as a piece of fabric, that didn’t change.
 

I had always been afraid of change. It haunted me, tested me, and made me question things I had never thought to question before. Maybe the reason it had always frightened me was because change was full of the unknown. I never knew how things were going to change, I just knew that they would, and that scared me more than anything else in the world.

I knew that change was necessary in order to evolve, but in Oportet, too much was frowned upon. There were standards that had to be met, standards that made Oportet what it was. Oportet gave lives meaning. Change screwed me over when I went from being a model citizen, never questioning authority and always doing as I was told, to a disobedient nightmare.
Change almost ruined my life
.

As I continued to trace my comforter and stare at the moon through my open curtains, the thought of change seemed nothing short of appalling. Change was dangerous, a pathway that only led to destruction.

“It’s Luna’s turn to wash the dishes,” Megan announced as she stood from the table.

“And where are you going, young lady?” Father asked. Megan pointed to her textbooks lying idly on the coffee table and sighed. Father nodded in approval. “Sounds like a great idea. If I get any negative emails about your grades again, you’ll be forbidden from seeing your friends for the rest of the school year.”

“What? Dad! It’s the second week of school.” Megan threw her arms up in protest. Mother and I exchanged glances as we watched this father-daughter scene unfold.

“Megan, you had a major problem last year, and I don’t want it repeating. What is Rule Fifty-Seven?” This was one of Father’s favorites when dealing with Megan.

“Students will put forth the utmost effort in anything pertaining to his or her education; nothing short of academic excellence…” Megan faded out, deciding she’d said enough. Father nodded and let her stalk off to study.

“So how are your classes going, Luna?”
 

I had just stuffed my mouth with a bite of salad. After some furious chewing and swallowing I could finally talk without flashing my parents with half-chewed greens. “Fine. I’m not so excited about my science research project, though. I have to go to the Science Museum tomorrow.” I cleverly avoided referring to Jasper. I did not know how my parents would react to me having to spend time with someone like him. They were more closed-minded than others in our society.

“Sounds like fun. So do you think you might like to do something with science later in life?” Mother hinted not so subtly.
 

Just thinking about being some sort of scientist for the rest of my life made me cringe. So wasn’t happening. “No, not really. I don’t think science is my…calling.” That was the most courteous way I knew how to say it.
 

Father’s eyes narrowed. “And what is it you are leaning toward?”

I stared down at my plate and fiddled with the tassels on my placemat. “I like writing,” I blurted. Mother and Father traded glances. Father opened his mouth as if to say something, shook his head, and then closed it.