Awaken (The Awaken Series Book 1) (25 page)

Jasper caught my fist in the air, his fingers gently wrapping around it. He raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not losing my hearing, you know.” He released my hand, and I let it drop to my side. “Um, come in, but I have to leave soon for that, well, you know,” he stammered.

“I have to tell you something,” I said, urgency evident in my voice.

Jasper led me upstairs to his room, music blasting from the stereo next to his bed. He shut it off and turned toward me, squinting at my face like there was something wrong with it. I looked away under his scrutiny.

“Have you been crying?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

We sat down on his bed and I explained everything to him—every last detail. Jasper brushed the tears from my face as I described my aunt’s murder. He laced his fingers through mine when I admitted to knowing he was walking into some kind of trap, and he kissed me when I told him that we were going to find a way out of Oportet—together.

“No,” I said. “No, no, no.”

“What is it? What did you remember?” Megan asked, her face contorted in pain. “You were crying and screaming, Luna.”

“It wasn’t crazy talk,” I mumbled.
 

Megan scrunched her face in confusion before remembering what I was talking about. “I’ve begun to rethink that label,” she said. “I think you know more of the truth than most people.” Megan paused, her eyes wide and incredulous. “So they really did kill Aunt May, didn’t they?”

I nodded.
 

“It’s time for me to leave.” I stared into Megan’s eyes. “Come with me,” I said, adrenaline coursing through me. This was the solution. I didn’t have to feel guilty about abandoning my sister if I took her with me.

“Luna…”

“I need to get the hell out of this place, and so do you. We could live much better lives on the Outside. We could start over, Megan.”

“No.”
 

I cringed at her rejection.
 

“I can’t go with you, Luna.”

“Why?”

“I just can’t. I don’t want to.”

“But, Megan—”

She shook her head. “It’s okay, Luna. Don’t feel guilty. I swear I’ll be fine. But you—you need to go. I want you to be happy.”

That was all I ever wanted from my family. Chills crept up my spine at the simple way Megan expressed her acceptance and love for me. It was exactly what I needed.
 

I wrapped her in a hug. “If I don’t see you again before I leave, I just want you to know that you are an amazing little sister. I love you, Megan.”

“Love you too. I hope we see each other again someday.” Megan smiled softly, looking down at her feet. “Your whole life has led to this moment, hasn’t it? It all fits together so perfectly.”

“I think you’re right. Like pieces of a puzzle.” I laughed with her for a moment, and I almost lost track of all the grief surrounding my life. “Goodbye, Megan.”

“Goodbye,” she said, wiping a tear from her face. There had been far too many tears for one day—for one life.

I ran through my newly regained memory. First that Dr. Gary Reynolds was Aunt May’s secret lover. I felt a pang of betrayal at the realization that the neurosurgeon who took my memories away was the same man who loved my aunt,
and
the same man who took me home after we watched her die.
 

Why would a man who performed such immoral procedures for the government plan an escape from Oportet? I just couldn’t believe May was in love with such a cruel man.

Seconds later I was being slammed in the gut. The room spun. I couldn’t breathe. My heart started beating dangerously fast. No air was making it to my lungs.

“Luna, stay with me.” Megan’s voice barely made it above the unbearable ringing in my ears. “I think you’re having a panic attack or something,” Megan said, peering down at me from my position on the floor.
 

I didn’t remember falling. I rushed to my feet, clutching Megan’s bedframe for support as blood rushed to my head. I wobbled for a moment, close to falling down again.

I didn’t have time to utter an explanation to my frightened sister before I was forcing my feet to move across the hardwood floor.

Throwing clothing and other essentials in a bag haphazardly, I repeated my newfound safe phrase in my head:
It will all be okay.
After a while, though, it started to morph into something like:
He will be okay.

He will be okay. He will be okay. He will be okay.

~~~~~

“Luna?” Lilly asked, letting me in and staring at me with growing curiosity.

“Can I please stay here?”
 

Lilly hesitated for a moment before putting a warm smile and nodding her head. “Yes. Of course, dear.”

She led me to the kitchen and gestured for me to sit across from her at the table. I sat my bag down next to me, taking in a deep breath to prepare for Lilly’s inevitable questioning.

“Are you alright? Has something happened?” she began.

“I’m okay.”
Physically
, I added in my head. “I can’t sleep under the same roof as my parents. They did something…unforgivable.” I almost cringed at my own harsh language.

Lilly opened her mouth then closed it. She placed her hand over mine and squeezed.

“Honey, you have to cut us parents some slack. We all want what’s best for our children, and sometimes that desire clouds our judgment.”

I ignored her. “Where is Jasper? I need to talk to him.”
 

Lilly pulled her hand away and clucked her tongue. She peered at the wall clock that hung in the kitchen. “He should’ve been home fifteen minutes ago. He had another meeting with Tomlinson about his—departure,” she faltered. “I still can’t believe he’ll be on the Outside soon.” Lilly put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay? Your face is so pale. You look sick.”

Lilly’s voice barely penetrated my mind. It was like a buzz in the distance, or a static television screen. How did she not know that Jasper was going to be executed?

The sound of the front door shutting pierced the room’s tension. With shaking hands, I stood up from the table.

“There he is,” Lilly said behind me, clearly relieved.
 

I focused on moving each foot forward, coming around the corner and into the foyer. Jasper had his back to me, shrugging off a dark jacket. I moved closer, my feet now audible as they moved from the carpeted area of the living room to the wood flooring of the foyer.

Jasper cast a glance over his shoulder. He fumbled with the jacket, letting it fall to the floor next to him as he turned to face me.

There was no time for thinking; there was only time for movement. Soon I was standing in front of him, noticing the deliberately disheveled hair and dark eyes so familiar to me.

I reared back and slapped the left side of his face with my open hand as hard as I could. The crack reverberated through the room like the sharp clap of thunder that follows a close lightning strike. Jasper’s head snapped to the side, his cheek flushing crimson.

“You lied to me,” I said, struggling to keep my shaking voice under control. “You knew this whole time that you were under a death sentence.”
 

Jasper stared at me expressionlessly.
 

“You messed with my head and then left me. You knew I would eventually remember everything,” I accused, my voice cracking. I took a breath and moved on. I needed to finish. “This whole time you’ve made me feel guilty for something beyond my control, when you were really the cruel one. You were the selfish, unfeeling one,” I said, getting louder. “You were the one acting so bipolar that I couldn’t tell if I was just deluding myself or if you actually wanted things to return to how they were between us.

“You kissed me knowing that soon you would be—gone, dead, whatever. Then you cut me out. What were you hoping for, Jasper?” I practically screamed. “Were you thinking that by the time I remembered how Aunt May died you would already be dead, so you wouldn’t have to face me?”
 

Jasper’s jaw was trembling. He looked away briefly, emotion finally breaking through the walls he’d built for himself. Then he met my gaze again.

“Or was this some kind of revenge for what you went through this summer? Do you really hate me that much?”

“Of course not!” Jasper exploded. “What was I supposed to do? Did you want my death sentence to be the first thing you heard from me? You would have tortured yourself for months. There was nothing you could do about it. The cruel thing would have been
to
tell you.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re right, leading you on was a really shitty thing to do, but I just missed you so much. I thought I was finally doing the right thing when I made the break, but maybe it wasn’t…hell, I don’t know. This shouldn’t be something an eighteen-year-old should have to deal with,” he said, his eyes flashing me fear and dread in their purest forms. Jasper had known this whole time that he was
destined to die
.

I had been plotting my next words—my next digs and insults to hurl at him—but they were gone.
Jasper was going to die
.

No… No, he wasn’t. I had never been surer of anything in my entire life. We would make it out. We would live.

I wrapped my arms around him, and he hugged me back. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart thud in my ear. We both realized how pointless it was to argue over the past. The past was nonexistent, but here—now—was teeming with life. It was teeming with hope.

“I have a plan,” I said after pulling away.

 
Jasper took in a breath. “Let’s hear it.”

~~~~~

We stayed up all night ironing out the details of my intricate escape plan. We were high on the idea of resistance, of having someone—
something
—to fight for, the abstract idea I’d grasped watching Aunt May die. We were fighting for
something more
.

Determination clouded our doubt until it vanished, the fire of our passion for life and each other engulfed the pain we had become so accustomed to. We were falling in love again, and this time we wouldn’t let it fall apart.

When I woke up the next morning my head was on Jasper’s chest. We were both sprawled out on his bedroom floor, never having made it to the bed before sleep temporarily squelched our fire.

Wads of paper were scattered around us, and I thought I felt a notebook under my left knee. I stretched and rolled over, cringing when a pencil scraped my side.

“Ow,” I moaned. I glanced over at Jasper, who was still fast asleep.

After using the bathroom, I crept back to Jasper’s room as quietly as possible. I didn’t want to disturb Lilly.

Just as I reached the door, a delicate hand fell on my shoulder. I jumped, spinning around.

Lilly laughed softly. “Sorry, dear. You really are jumpy, aren’t you?”
 

I smiled. “Pretty much, yeah,” I laughed.
 

Silence hung over us awkwardly, and I fiddled with my sleeve waiting for Lilly to speak.

“You guys are going to make it this time,” Lilly whispered.
 

I nodded.

“Jasper finally confessed what the Council was really planning. It was also hard not to hear the truth in all that screaming earlier,” Lilly said, giving me a look. She swallowed, shaking her head. “I still can’t believe he would keep that from me. We got the news last week that the Council voted against him. They set the date for next Friday.” Lilly shuddered. “He’s known for an entire week that he was set to be executed.”

“Jasper told me that he tried to get you to come with us, but you refused,” I said slowly. “Why?”

“That just isn’t how my life is supposed to play out. Jasper often forgets this,” she explained.

“I don’t understand. How can you stay here knowing what you do?”
 

“I came here for a reason, Luna. I knew what I was walking into.” She glanced down at her feet. “My husband was shot. My child became fatherless, and I became so haunted by fear that I couldn’t leave the house. I’m not haunted here.”

I understood Lilly’s reasons, but I could never understand why she would choose to stay in Oportet alone rather than face her demons and be free on the Outside. The thought of such a gentle, kind woman abandoned by the only person she had left to love tore me apart inside.

“You shouldn’t worry about me. Actually, I won’t allow it. You and Jasper were always meant to leave, and I was always meant to stay. That is just something you will have to accept. Jasper too.”
 

I was more than frustrated at her vague attempts at blaming fate.
 

“I have to stay for the same reason you have to go: I’m happy here. I have found my purpose.”

“I’m really going to miss you,” I whispered, sighing in defeat.

“And I will miss you, my dear. I’ve always secretly wanted a daughter,” Lilly murmured. “Take care of him, okay?”

“Always.”

~~~~~

“You ready?” Jasper asked, handing me the laptop.
 

I nodded. Phase one of our master plan was starting, and knowing that we could be caught at any second was both exhilarating and terrifying.

Hacking into my father’s email account was the easy part. He only used one password for all of his accounts, and I had been trusted with it on many occasions. The ten-digit number was forever etched in my brain.

The hard part was sorting through all of the pieces of Expansion Project information I had been overhearing the past few weeks. I knew that the first day of construction began tonight, and that shifts of guards and technicians were scheduled to work on it in four-hour increments.
 

This meant that if I posed as my father, the leader of the committee in charge of the endeavor, I could email the first shift of guards and tell them that they were being switched with the second shift. I could make up an excuse about some kind of conflict among the technicians scheduled for the second shift, like an important meeting.
 

The current walls will be scheduled to go down at the same time as before, but now there won’t be any guards positioned by the new wall—the wall with an opening for a gate.