Back To Me (17 page)

              “We’ll be there in about twenty minutes, angel. Just take a deep breath.”

              I did as he suggested, and took a couple hundred more for good measure. Before long Billy turned onto a gravel lane that seemed to last forever. We had already passed two houses and I wondered how many were there.

              A large stone house came into view as we topped the next hill.
Wow!
It was amazing
. Like a dream home in a magazine, the landscaping was immaculate and the large windows showcased every view possible. Pink balloons and streamers decorated the outside and cars lined the drive.
Oh no, I thought I was going to be sick
!

20

Billy

              I was thankful we’d run into Becca.
One person down and about fifteen more to go.
I had hoped it would help take the edge off and calm Heather’s nerves, but putting the shoe on the other foot, I could see exactly why she’d be nervous.             

              I couldn’t wait to see Sam dancing around in the tutu that Heather had found for her. It was girly-girl and any four year old would wear it with pride. When we split up in the shop, Heather was intense; fiercely searching for the perfect item to match the tutu. She thought I was looking for a gift, too, but in fact I’d spent my time watching her. I was mesmerized with her every movement. When something caught Heather’s attention, my curiosity peaked. I knew the little shop like the back of my hand and I knew exactly what she was looking at.

              Mattie, the owner’s daughter was working today. I motioned for her and she scurried over to where I was hiding, obscured by racks of fluffy dresses.

              “Can you see what that lady over there is looking at? I think she might need help with something.”

              “Sure thing,” she answered, giving me a flirtatious smile. I didn’t pay her any attention as
no one
was worthy of that when Heather was around.

              I watched the two of them carefully, miffed when Heather scurried away hastily. Maybe Mattie had said something to her, but there didn’t seem to be enough conversation for that to have been the case. Mattie discreetly made eye contact with me and shrugged her shoulders.

              I was across the store in three strides, questioning Heather. She wasn’t getting off the hook so easily.

              She hemmed and hawed, stalling and buying time, but I was on to her game of distraction. Her cheeks flushed with mortification, but there was no need. I knew one day, and not too far in the distant future if I had my way, that I would ask her to be my wife.

              We found what we needed and I snickered to myself when Mattie’s face distorted with disdain.
Keep dreaming!
I thought to myself
.
She couldn’t hold a candle to Heather. No one could.

              “See you soon,” she crooned. Our backs were to her and I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of turning around. I held my hand up, offering only a half-hearted wave.

              Meeting Becca and all the fun we’d had shopping hadn’t done much to ease Heather’s trepidation, but I was confident she’d relax once we got past the introductions. I just knew everyone was going to love her. I sang to her, letting my deep voice settle in the cab of the truck and wrap around her like a warm blanket. My fingers rubbed circles on her leg and when she laid her head over, I knew I had her. I felt her melt into me and I smiled, mentally patting myself on the back.

              I hadn’t told her anything about Luke’s place. I figured it was best to let her see it for herself. There was so much to explain, but baby steps were best. I didn’t want to overload her with too much information. I was sure she’d have questions later, but right now I just wanted her to enjoy herself. She looked puzzled as I drove along the winding road.

              When we pulled up and I saw all the pink decorations, I smiled. I hadn’t been here in so long and it was like stepping back in time. Everything had changed and yet it hadn’t. I felt at home, just like always.

              “We’re here, angel. C’mon.” I took her hand in mine and led her to the side of the house where all the guests were gathering, noticing her palm was sticky with sweat. I gave her a reassuring squeeze, communicating that it was going to be fun.

              “Billy!” Luke yelled and waved us over.

              I directed Heather his way and she followed timidly.

              “Good to see ya, man. Glad y’all could make it!” I shook Luke’s hand and then turned to introduce my angel.

              “Luke, this is Heather. Heather, this is Luke. One of my best friends, and Sam’s father.”

              I watched as she took a hesitant step. “Nice to meet you.” Her voice quivered as she spoke.

              “Well, it’s nice to meet ya, too, darlin’. C’mere.” Luke handed me his beer and lifted her up, clutching her in a tight hug.

              Heather laughed, surprised at his forwardness, but I expected nothing less. That’s just how Luke was; immediately putting someone he’d just met at ease. I stood there, beaming like an idiot as I watched their exchange.

              “We’ve heard a lot of nice things about you,” Luke continued. “Good to finally see that you really
do
exist. Thought this ol’ guy here was just yankin’ our chain!”

              “Yep, I’m real!” Heather retorted with a chuckle.

              “C’mon, I want you to meet my wife, Lauren. She’s been dying to size you up!” I knew Luke was kidding, but I gave him a good backhand across the chest in warning.

              “He’s just teasing, angel. Lauren’s great,” I assured.

              “Okay.”

              I took Heather’s hand in mine and we followed Luke into the house. Lauren was in the kitchen, fretting over the food and making sure everything was impeccable.

              “Hey, pretty girl. Look who’s here,” Luke announced.

              “Billy!” she exclaimed, flying towards me like greased lightning.

              “Hey, baby girl. How’s it going?”

              “Good. Good. Hectic, but good.” She put her hand on her hip and waited for me to make the proper introductions.

              “Lauren, this is Heather.”

              “How do you do?” Lauren smiled, but it was forced.

              Heather peered at me over Lauren’s shoulder and I gave her an encouraging wink.

              “I’m doing well, thank you. And thank you for having me. I hope I’m not intruding.”

              Lauren scoffed. “Not at all! The more the merrier. But I could use some help.”

              “I’d be happy to help. What can I do?” Heather asked, jumping at the chance to be included in the group. 

              “Well, you can start by getting out the food in the fridge. It should be easy enough for you to figure it out,” she snapped, catching her tone immediately. She tried her best to recover. “Things can get really ugly when these guys are hungry!”

              Heather laughed the remark off and moved quickly to the sink to wash her hands.

              “Bilwy! Bilwy!” a little voice shouted. “You came!”

              The next thing I knew, the prettiest princess anyone
ever did see
was pulling on my jeans, garnering my attention.

              “Sam!” I exclaimed. I bent down and picked her up, tossing her over my head and then catching her. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much!” I plastered kisses and blew raspberries all over her chubby face.

              “I missed you, too!”

              Her sweet voice took me by surprise. She talked like such a big girl, proof that she was no longer a baby, though she still had the dimples and roundness to suggest otherwise.
Four years old
. I could hardly believe it.

              “Thanks for making that special invitation for me, princess.  I’m gonna keep it forever!”

              Sam grinned wide and showed me her tiny little teeth.

              “Who is that?” she pointed.

              “That is my
very special friend
. Her name is Heather. Would you like to meet her?”

              I observed as Heather halted in her tracks. I understood how she felt. Like I said, sometimes kids could assess a situation and put things together better than grown adults.

              Sam wiggled her little body until I put her down. She went running towards Heather and stared up until she had gotten her full attention. Heather bent down to Sam’s level.

              “Hello, Sam. My name is Heather. Thank you for letting me come to your party.”

             
Sam was silent
. Completely out of character for the little chatter-box. Finally, after what seemed like several minutes, she spoke.

              “You pwetty.”

              Heather grinned, taken aback. “Thank you, Sam. You’re very pretty, too.”

              “Are you uncle Bilwy’s special fwiend?”             

              “I am,” Heather answered.

              “Do you love’s him?” Sam questioned, innocently.

              Aware that everyone was watching and waiting for her response to Sam’s on-the-spot question, Heather gulped for air, but recovered like a champ without anyone noticing.

              “He’s very special to me, and yes, I do love him. Very much.” Heather’s eyes began to water and Sam took her little finger and wiped away a tear that managed to escape.

We were even more stunned when Sam leaned closer and whispered something in Heather’s ear. When Heather stood back up from her slumped positon, it was obvious that the big secret was a good one. Heather was on cloud-nine. Seems the little princess could bring someone besides me to their knees!  

Appearing to almost be irritated that so much attention had focused around Heather, Lauren bellowed, “Okay! Let’s get this party going!”

              It was a joyous occasion and everyone was having fun, including Heather. She’d fit right in, just as I knew she would. She and Sam had become new best friends; you didn’t see one without the other as Sam didn’t want to let loose of her hand. Rose had taken to Heather right off, too, not that I was surprised. Rose was one of a kind. I didn’t know what they’d talked about, but I didn’t need to. I could see that Heather was doing well; even venturing off on her own sometimes, which was a far cry from the woman I had brought to the party.

            
 
“Cake! Cake! I want cake!” Sam proclaimed.

              “Let me get the candles lit and we’ll sing happy birthday.
Then
you can have cake,” Luke explained to her.

             
I watched Luke and Sam closely, speculating what it would have been like to have my child here with me today. For our children to have grown up together, as friends. This was not the time to dwell on what was never to be, but I couldn’t help myself. I was still reeling from learning about Heather losing our baby. I’d always been jealous of Luke and his family. I’d always wanted
what he had
. To know I’d been so close, and had it taken away was devastating.

              “You okay?” Heather asked, breaking me out of my trance.

              “Yeah, I’m okay. You? You seem to be having a good time.”

              “I am,” she agreed. “They’re all so wonderful. And that Sam? She’s really something. I can see why you’re so fond of her.”

              “She’s amazing, right?”

              Heather nodded, verifying my words. We watched as Sam made a wish and blew out her candles. Everyone clapped when Luke put her on his shoulders and paraded her around, causing the sweetest giggle I’d ever heard.

              Luke sat Sam down and brought her presents over one at a time so she could open them. Lauren snapped pictures of every gift and Sam was truly a little princess, giving wet kisses and thank yous to each one of us. She had a lot of things to play with of course, but it made my day when her favorite seemed to be the ballerina tutu that Heather and I had purchased.

              “He’s a good dad, isn’t he?”

              “Yeah, he is,” I agreed.

              Heather sensed my heartbreak. “Billy, I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me. You would have made an amazing father. I have no doubt in my mind.” Heather put her arm around my neck and drew me closer to her.

              “I mean it, Billy. You would have been the
greatest
dad this world’s ever seen. And who knows. Maybe it’ll happen again one day.”

              Just hearing her say that…..to hear her clearly say those words; it gave me hope and my heart swelled.

              “One day,” I whispered back. I sealed my lips over hers, but then quickly pulled away. I wanted our first
real
kiss to be in private. 

              “Enough of that,” Randy cried. “C’mon sweet thang, the girls are lookin’ for ya.”

              He led Heather away, but not before turning around and throwing a wink in my direction. What were they up to?