Back To Me (18 page)

21

Heather

              Not that I’d ever admit it to Billy because he would be an insufferable gloat, but he was right. Everyone had been very nice, treating me no differently than if we’d been friends for years. Well, with one exception….
Lauren
.

              I was taken with Sam the moment I laid eyes on her. She was a spunky little ball of fire and she obviously loved Billy very much. That alone made her smart. Her dark curls framed her chubby cheeks and her wispy bangs made her blue eyes stand out. 
She was beautiful,
but looking at Luke and Lauren there was no way to have avoided it. They were both beautiful in their own right.

              When I bent down and she pulled me to her, I was astonished. Most children were shy and played coy, afraid of meeting someone new, but not Sam. Little girls like her were the reason I had wanted to be a teacher. Her innocent personality and her witty ways were endearing, especially when she whispered in my ear.

              “Bilwy loves you, too. I know it.” I grinned from ear to ear because she thought it was our little secret. She was oblivious to the crowd we had drawn, but I was not. I felt all eyes on me, especially Billy’s.

              I met Randy and Hallie, Rose and Al, Lauren and Luke, of course, and several others. Becca and I had a chance to talk further and I learned she worked at the local bar in town. It wasn’t a bar like Tommy’s, but I still cringed inwardly. A bar of any kind was a turn off to me, I guess because I had seen the worst of the worst. Regardless, she was very sweet and I took a shine to her immediately.

              Lauren had been a different story. Sure she was nice, outwardly anyways, but I sensed that she was wary of me. Billy was important to her, that much was clear, but if Billy and I were going to be together then I was going to have to find a way to win her over.

              When Randy came to find me, I was apprehensive to leave Billy’s side, but I went anyway. I couldn’t very well refuse like an ungrateful brat. He led me inside to where the women were gathered; sitting around the island and drinking wine.

              “Here ya go, ladies. Go easy on her.”

             
What the hell did that mean?

             
I nervously walked farther into the room, situating myself on a barstool before I fainted. This was it. This is where the interrogation took place and I’d better give all the right answers in order to pass muster. Lauren, Rose, and Hallie waited on me to get comfortable before they tore into me like vultures. That’s not what
really
happened, but it sure felt like it.

              “So, dear,” Rose started. “How are things going with you and Billy?”

             
Going right for the Achilles heel, I see.

             
“Things are going good. We got off to a rocky start, but I suppose that’s only natural. It’s been years since we’ve seen each other and we had a lot to talk through.”

              “I can imagine,” Lauren murmured. I would let that her remark slide, but that was her one.

              “How long are you planning on being here?” Hallie asked next.

              I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn’t sure what information I should divulge, or what I was
allowed
to admit. I knew better than to talk about an on-going case, which I suspected my situation was because Raul was connected. He was after me, or at least Billy, and I sure didn’t plan on dragging anyone else into it.

              “I’m not sure. It all depends on how things go.” I answered as honestly as I could. “I hope to be here for a while, but I guess that’s still up for debate. Billy and I have some things to take care of.”

              Lauren huffed and aggressively set her glass down on the granite countertop. “You mean,
Billy
has things to handle for you?”

              Lauren’s tone caught me off guard, but not necessarily her question. I wasn’t exactly sure how to come back at her snarky attitude, but just as I was preparing to try, a booming voice interrupted.

              “
Dammit
, that’s enough, Lauren!”

              Billy stalked over to me, placing his hand on my back in solidarity. “She’s here because it’s where I
want
her to be. Because it’s the safest place. Anything more than that is none of your business.”

              “Billy, I……” Lauren tried to explain.

              “Pretty girl, you don’t understand what’s really going on. I think we all need to have a talk,” Luke said.

              I was shocked that Luke was intervening for me against his own wife, especially since it seemed I was the cause of the rift. 

              Billy agreed with Luke and we all moved to the living room to get more comfortable. I followed, skeptical that anything Billy said would change Lauren’s mind. She had already passed judgment on me, and that was that.

              We stood and waited while everyone found their seat. I was thankful when Billy took the reins, speaking up and addressing the group.

              “First off,” Billy began, speaking to the group as a whole. “Heather and I are together. You love me then you love her and you show her some respect. Got it?”

“And that goes especially for you,” Billy chided, glaring at Lauren. “You have no idea what Heather’s been through, though I suspect you’d find the two of you have a lot in common if you’d give her a chance.”

              Lauren looked questioningly at him, but he didn’t give her an opportunity to speak.

              “Second, we all remember Mark and the shit he caused. I don’t like for people to be involved in my business, but at this point it’s safer for y’all to know than for me to keep hiding the truth. It involves each of you, and I’m going to need help protecting Heather when I can’t be here.”

              He looked down at me and I nodded, urging him to continue. I didn’t know what to say and so it was best if he kept talking. As long as he did, they weren’t paying attention to me.

              “I’ve never disclosed anything about my job and I won’t now, but you all know I was shot years ago. What you don’t know is that the guy who shot me is now after Heather. Raul was after her before Blake got me involved and I brought her here,
so no
,” he directed at Lauren again, “this is not her fault. I won’t tolerate hearing otherwise. There’s a good chance this man will come to Montana, but Blake has promised to keep me in the loop should that happen. In the meantime, we all go on like usual. If you notice anyone in town that’s not familiar, or if you see anyone lurking around, asking questions they shouldn’t be, you let me know as soon as possible. Any questions?”

              I couldn’t believe the authority with which he spoke. I was mesmerized and mad as hell at the same time. These people had just met me and he’d willingly opened the door to a multitude of questions that I didn’t want to answer.

              “So, what does this guy want Heather for?” Lauren asked.

              “Because I’m supposed to be dead. That’s why. He’s after her strictly to get back at me. I’m the real target. She’s nothing more than a pawn in his sick game.”

              “How do you know him, dear?” Rose asked, genuinely intrigued. Her question held no malice whatsoever.

              “He frequented a bar I worked at,” I answered, abashed. I lowered my head and stared at the floor, afraid that all they would see was my past.

              “Oh, I see. Well, maybe he’s no longer after you. I mean, do you know for certain….”

              “Yeah,
I
do,” Billy answered for me. “Raul doesn’t give up until he gets what he wants. Look, I’m tired and I’m sure Heather is, too. We’ll talk about this later, just remember what I said.” He looked at everyone, but mainly Lauren.

              Billy was barely cordial to everyone as they stood, offering polite goodbyes and even hugs. I was as gracious as I could manage given that just a few minutes ago they were ready to burn me at the stake.

              “I meant no harm, dear, I was just curious. We’ve all been through so much,” explained Rose.

              “It’s okay. I understand.” I offered a sympathetic smile and willed my tears away. I
would not
let them see me cry.

              “Don’t hurt him,” Lauren spoke with an undertone of resentment. “He’s been through too much, and losing you was hell for him. Don’t do it again.”

              I nodded my head and promised, “I won’t leave him again.” I meant it with every fiber of my being.

              She put forth the effort to smile and I returned one of my own. It was clear that we’d never be close, but I had to at least tolerate her for Billy’s sake. I had promised to not let anyone or anything come between us again and I meant it.

              Sam had fallen asleep on her bed so we didn’t get to tell her goodbye. As we were leaving, Luke promised to call Billy later in the week and set up a dinner date. Can’t say I was necessarily looking forward to spending time with Lauren, but getting to see Sam again would be worth it.

              By the time we reached the end of the driveway, Billy was fuming. It was dark inside the cab of the truck, but I could hear his ragged breaths. I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid closer to him.

              “It’s okay, Billy.
I’m okay
.”

              “She had
no right
to treat you like that! I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into her, but it won’t happen again!” he yelled.

              I knew how difficult Billy could be when he was mad, and the best thing to do was leave him alone and let him work through it in his own way. I stayed silent for the rest of the ride home, which unfortunately only took about fifteen minutes.

              The night was pitch black when we returned, as was the house, and I was nervous upon entering.

              “It’s okay, angel. I’ve got ya.”

              Billy held my hand firmly in his and I tightened my grip.

              “We’re okay. Let me just find the light switch,” he assured.

              I heard him flip it on and then off, and then back again. Nothing happened. I panicked and broke out in a sweat, screaming in the process. “Oh my, God! Billy, someone’s here.”

              “Shhh,” he rebuked. “Calm down. Take my keys and get in the truck. Lock the doors and don’t move until I come for you, got it?”

              I nodded my head profusely as my mouth failed to work. I wanted to argue with him; to refuse and demand that I stay with him, but I couldn’t get the words out. Billy watched until I was safely in the truck and then he disappeared back into the blackness of the house. My pulse raced and my breathing accelerated, so much so that I became light headed. I ducked down in the floorboard and buried my head. I prayed, asking God to keep Billy safe. I couldn’t bear the thought of him being shot again, or even worse, Raul actually succeeding in killing him this time.

              The longer I stayed hunched down, the more worried I became. It felt like hours since I’d left Billy to hide out here. It then hit me that he wasn’t the only one who was alone.
I was alone
. Outside…by myself. What if they found me? I had no protection whatsoever. Truck windows could be shattered easily.

              I had watched plenty of crime shows on the Discovery channel and I knew how these things usually turned out. The thought caused me to shake and shiver, and my stomach lurched.
Air. I needed air!

             
I cracked the window, but it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do, but I would hyperventilate otherwise. I opened the door and stepped out, bending over and grabbing my knees for support as I inhaled as much fresh air as I could. You know the idiots you scream at in a horror film that you know damn well can’t hear you, but you do it anyway simply because they’re just
so
stupid? Yeah, well that was me. My brain was yelling, ‘turn and retreat to the safety of the truck’, but my heart kept telling me to go and help Billy.

              As the thought lingered and I tried to push myself to assist him, Billy appeared on the porch. He was staring at me with a perturbed look on his face. I also noticed he was talking on the phone and he didn’t look happy.

              “What the hell are you doing?” he asked as he made his way over. “Thought I told you to stay in the truck.”              
Shit!

22

Billy

              The birthday party was going great until Lauren decided to interject her two cents. I don’t know what gave her the right, or why she thought it was even
remotely
acceptable to talk down to Heather the way she did. I could take or leave Lauren’s friendship, but I
couldn’t
live without my angel.

              When Randy returned from having escorted Heather inside for girl talk, I took the opportunity to speak with the guys; sounding a lot like Luke when he had come to me about Mark, Lauren’s first husband.
The bastard
. Now it was Raul and the danger we might
all
be facing because he would hurt anyone who stood in his way of finding Heather and
me
.  I especially wanted to fill Luke in because he had Lauren and Sam to protect. I’d die if anything happened to that little girl because of me.

              “Guys, I’ve got some stuff I gotta say and none of it’s gonna be easy, so just bear with me,” I started. I rocked back and forth on my heels in an uncomfortable manner, knowing I couldn’t stall any longer.

              “As you may or may not know, Heather is here so I can keep an eye on her. Raul, the man that shot me, is out for blood and he has set his sights on her. Blake, my old partner contacted me. Actually, he came by my house. Hadn’t seen him in years and suddenly, there he was, waiting for me the other day.”

              “How bad is this guy Raul?” Randy asked. “I mean, are we talkin’ Mark kinda bad?”

              I shook my head. “No. I wish I was.”

              There was a brief silence as the guys looked to each other, wondering how there could be anyone worse than Mark Raines. He had been a wife beating, cheating, murderer who had hidden behind a police badge while carrying out heinous crimes in order to support his drug habit.               

              “Trust me. Raul’s worse.
Much worse
in fact, and Blake said things have gotten a lot crazier since I left. What all that entails,” I shrugged, “I don’t know. He can’t tell me anything specific because the case is ongoing.”

              “Well, you know we’ve got your back,” Luke chimed in. “Lauren wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for you, and I’ll never be able to repay you for that. And, I think I speak for the rest of the guys. You don’t even have to ask, man. Just tell us what we need to do and we’ll do it.”

             
No one voiced an objection. Instead I saw nothing but heads nodding in agreement with Luke. These guys were the best.

              “Hang on just a minute,” Al chimed in. “Is there somethin’ else you want to tell us, Billy? Seems like you and Heather are a little cozy, if ya know what I mean,” he joked.

              My cheeks flushed, but there was no denying it. “Yeah, we huh, we talked through some things and I think there might be a chance that we can make it work, ya know? It’s what I’m hoping for anyway.
I love her. I never stopped
.” There. I’d admitted it.

              “Even after what she did?” Luke’s exclaimed.

That pissed me off royally. Since when did I have to justify myself to anyone? At that moment I wished I had never told anyone about Heather and how she had left me, ‘cause now I was gonna have to change the hard feelings everyone had towards her. That meant outing the secret that I’d just found out myself.  

              “Luke,” I huffed. “You don’t know the whole story.”

              “I don’t have to know the whole story to know she left you when you needed her the most. When you were laid up in a hospital bed----”

              Without thinking I grabbed Luke by his shirt, pulling him roughly towards me. “You don’t know shit!” I yelled.

              The guys were taken so off guard that they just stood with their mouths agape, watching the dispute between us unfold. They were smart enough not to step between us.  

              “You know what happened, Luke? She was pregnant with my child I didn’t even know about! Then she lost the baby because she was so distraught over me! That’s why she left!” I screamed in anguish.

              I turned him loose and shoved him backwards. “
What did you just say
?” he questioned.

              “You heard me. I just found out yesterday. Heather kept it from me because she thought I’d hate her.” I chuckled, but there was nothing funny about it. I just didn’t want to break down and cry in front of them like a big baby.

              “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t-----“

              “I know you didn’t.”

              “That’s awful, man. Sorry,” Randy said. “Wanna talk about it?”

              I answered honestly. “What’s there to talk about? It’s over. It’s just that I never realized how badly I wanted a child until I found out I could have been a dad. That the chance was literally ripped away. I don’t know how to deal with it, but I’ll figure it out somehow.”

              “What about Heather? How’s she?” Luke quizzed.

              I shrugged. “She’s okay I guess. She’s had a long time to come to terms with it. Not saying it doesn’t hurt her, because I know better. I’m not sure you ever really get over something like that.”

              “You don’t,” Luke interjected. “Lauren still deals with the loss, even after having Sam. The ‘
what-ifs
’ are the hardest. She’s better than she was, but it’s still a struggle, and frankly I think it always will be. Just be there for her, man. Listen when she needs to talk. That’s all you can do.”

              “You know, Luke. I have watched you with Sam and I gotta be honest, I’ve always been jealous. Still am. That’s part of the reason I walked away from you. Don’t make it right, I know, but I couldn’t stand being here. You and Lauren were
finally
happy, and I just didn’t feel like I fit in. It was even harder after Sam was born. I didn’t want to drag you guys down with me so I kept my distance. I felt sorry for myself and what I’d become; what I’d let my career take from me, but now I have a chance to make up for all that. I have Heather and life feels good again. I just want to keep her safe. I want to love her and protect her, just like you wanted to do for Lauren. I’d really appreciate it if you guys would cut her some slack. Try to get along, for my sake.”

              They must have been stunned at my admissions because it was several moments before any of them said a word. They were used to me being
strong Billy
and not the mushy wimp I’d just professed to be.

              Al clasped me on the back. “I’m happy for ya, son. I really am. She’s a pretty thing, too,” he chuckled.

              We spent the next few minutes doing the awkward-guy-back-slap thing and smiling like a bunch of goofs. Now we
all
had women in our lives that we would move heaven and earth for. Even Chad and Walker had lucked up. Chad was engaged to a girl who worked at the beauty shop, and Walker had just celebrated his first wedding anniversary.
That was the irony of all this
. Life wasn’t supposed to be this good, and I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

              “We better go check on the ladies. They’ll think we’ve forgotten all about them,” Al offered.

              We filed into the house laughing, but that was cut short when I heard the women giving Heather a hard time. That shit didn’t fly with me, and I was putting a stop to it right then!

              “
Dammit!
That’s enough, Lauren.” I shouted, louder than was necessary, but it did the trick. No one moved to challenge me, not even Luke.

              I didn’t give Lauren a chance to try and back-peddle her way out of the situation. Heather looked defeated; like a witness on the stand whose story had been ripped to shreds by an intimidating prosecutor. But
my angel
hadn’t done anything and there was absolutely no excuse that Lauren, or anyone else could give that would make this right. I’d set the guys straight and now it was time to tell the women the truth, too.

              I told them
only
the bare minimum. Strictly what they
needed
to know. Things were a bit awkward afterwards, but everyone managed to say goodbye without any harsh words. When I climbed behind the wheel of my truck, I was fuming! Thankfully, Heather knew exactly what I needed and she left me alone. By the time we arrived back home, I was much calmer and in a much better mood, but there was still something I needed to take care of.

              I put the truck in park and turned towards Heather. “I’m sorry, angel. I had no idea what the girls were planning and I’m pretty sure the guys didn’t either. Lauren had no right to talk to you like that, but it won’t happen again. They really are good people, just a little overprotective I guess. I hope you’ll give them another chance.”

              “It’s okay, Billy. I’m a big girl and I know they were just looking out for you.”

              She looked sad as she spoke and I didn’t blame her. She already felt like an outsider and Lauren hadn’t done much to make her feel otherwise.

              “They’ll come around,” I offered. “C’mon. Let’s get some rest.” I took her hand in mine and placed a soft kiss her palm. She gave me a smile before climbing out.

              I didn’t realize how dark it was until I’d cut the engine. The clouds had moved in and the usual glow of the moonlight was nowhere to be found. Heather shivered and moved closer to me. The dark had always bothered her, but I imagined it did even more so now. With Raul on the loose, even I was on edge.

              I unlocked the door and flipped the switch on the wall to turn on the lights.
Nothing happened
. I tried again and again with the same result. Something wasn’t right; I could feel it in my gut. My training and experience kicked in immediately and I ordered Heather to the safety of my truck.

              “Take the keys, get in the truck, and keep the doors locked until I come for you. Got it?”

              Heather looked at me like a deer caught in headlights as she vehemently shook her head no. She never was one for taking orders.

              “Angel, I don’t have time to argue with you about this.
Please
, just do as I said. I’ll come get you in a few minutes.”

              I placed my keys in her hand and then folded her fingers around them. Giving her a slight nudge, I guided her out the front door and down the steps, watching until she was locked safely away. I turned and reentered the house with chills running up my spine.

              I used the light on my cell phone to guide me through the pitch-black house. I was careful to make as little noise as possible, but the creaks from the wooden floor were inevitable as I felt my way along the wall. I reached around to my back for my gun, but it wasn’t there.
Dammit!
I had forgotten that I’d left it here. For some reason it just didn’t seem appropriate to take it to a child’s birthday party, and so I’d opted to forgo it this time. See what I meant about letting my guard down? This is what I’d been afraid of; my head wasn’t clear, and I shouldn’t
ever
be without my gun. I silently cursed myself, but kept plugging along. At this point, being pissed off wasn’t going to solve anything.

              I was worried for myself, but I was even more worried about Heather who was still outside;
alone
and undoubtedly scared to death. I checked the hall closet, guest room, and bathroom. There was no one there. The kitchen, living room and my bedroom were also clear. That only left the upstairs to check and I hated going up there.
I never went up there.
Not because I was a scaredy-cat, but because that was Grams place. Her sewing room and her personal belongings were still strewn about and it had never felt right to displace them.

              For right now, I had to make sure no one was hiding up there. Taking a deep breath, I took the first step and then the second. When I was halfway up, my phone rang loudly, scaring the shit outta me. I answered it quickly, not even bothering to check the caller ID.

              “Yeah,” I whispered.

              “Billy? You okay?” Blake asked.

              “Yeah. Just got home. No lights. Just checking things out.”

              “Get. Out. Now!” he ordered.

              I froze mid step and my face went white.
Heather! I’d left her outside….by herself. Shit!!!

             
I took off running, no longer worried about anyone hearing me. “Heather,” I gritted, “I left her alone, Blake. What the hell’s going on?”

              “Raul’s here, Billy. It’s not him. But look, I got a call from George.”

              That halted me in my tracks.
George
? I hadn’t seen or heard from George since Lauren’s ordeal years ago. He’d been the guy who had fed me the information I’d needed, but what in the world did he have to do with any of this now?