Beautiful Illusions (13 page)

He looked me square in the eye. “This isn’t a game, Iris
. I know it’s soon, but I knew that I wanted to marry you from the moment I met you. You felt it too. I noticed you from across the bar, and I was going to go and talk to you, then you came up to me. And I knew. You’ll find out soon enough that I’m serious about this.”

Let’s just drop this, shall we?
“Where is our order?  The waitress is taking forever.” She really wasn’t, but I was desperate to change the subject.

He sighed, resigned that he wasn’t going to get more out of me on this subject
.

Changing the subject quickly, I said “So, Maximus and Brutus. How’d you pick them out?” I was impressed that he had not one, but two rescue dogs, including a pit bull mix.

“Actually, this is going to sound crazy, but I got them when everything was falling apart. I was grieving over Mia, and Alexis was just starting her ultimate crazy shit. I didn’t know about her and Paul at the time, but she was distant and pushing me away. So, I went to the shelter to try to comfort myself and I found those two mutts there. They were brought into the shelter together, and I just fell in love with both of them.”

“What were they named before you got them?”

“I didn’t change their names. They were going by those names for several weeks, so I didn’t think that it was fair to them.”

“So, they were true strays, or did somebody bring them in?”

“True strays, from what I understand. Brutus, the pit bull mix, would’ve been put down immediately in a lot of cities around here.” This was true. Some of the suburbs had active pit bull bans because of several maulings. He continued “That’s so unfair to indict an entire breed because of what shitty owners do to some dogs to make them mean.”

I nodded vigorously. “I know, it’s totally the owners. I happen to love pit bulls, but, at the same time, I feel for them when I see them around town. For some reason, I always imagine the worst, that they are a part of a dog fighting ring, even if they are just out and about with their owners.
That’s why I had to become active in a pit bull rescue group. They are the sweetest dogs, but have such a bad reputation, which is tragic and undeserved.”

“I feel the same way. And your compassion for those animals is one of the many reasons why I am in love with you.”

We chatted a little bit more throughout the meal. I deftly avoided the serious subject of us and our future, but I really wanted to find out a bit more about his background. However, I noticed earlier how his father was a sore subject, so I had a difficult time figuring out how to approach it.

I finally opted not to approach it at all.

After dinner was over, we went back to my apartment. I figured that he would leave that night, because, after all, he did have to work in the morning. I kinda also had to work in the morning, but my schedule was cleared for that day, so I really only had to get caught up on paperwork. A lot of paperwork. He surprised me, however, when he followed me into my apartment. “Do you mind if I spend the night with you again?” he asked me before coming up.

“No, no, of course not.”

“I mean, of course, I have to be at work in the morning, so we’re going to have to get some sleep tonight. I just really don’t want to leave just yet.”

“Yes, of course.”

But that night was the same as the previous night, as we made love for hours, in my bed that time. Finally, at 3 AM, I announced that we had to get some sleep, because he wasn’t going to be very productive at work when he had to go in at 8 that morning. He agreed, attempted to sleep, then made love to me again.

“You’re going to be exhausted in the morning.”

“Exhausted and happy.”

I was amazed at his libido. And the thought crossed my mind that maybe he was one of those addictive personalities, and I was just another of his addictions.

Banish the thought.

He did manage to get up and leave my apartment at 6 AM, so that he could go home and change for work and get there by 8
. I was sad to see him leave, of course, but I knew that I would be seeing him soon.

Weeks went by, and Ryan and I managed to spend every evening together
. It was somewhat difficult because both of us had animals. It was decided that, since he had two dogs, and I had one cat, that we would spend most of our time at his place, instead of mine. I took Madison over with me when I visited. This was a much better arrangement then both of us hanging out in my apartment, not just because of the animal situation, but also because his place was a palatial mansion, and mine was, of course, a tiny hovel.

However, one day, I arrived home, after being away for a few days, to a most unpleasant surprise
. There was a note on my door asking me to go to the office. The property management people wanted to see me.

I felt like I was a bad kid going to the principal’s office as I approached the clubhouse
.

“You wanted to see me?”
I asked after I arrived in the property manager’s office.

“Yes, Ms. Snowe
. Sit down.”

I took my seat across from the glaring woman. I never could stand her, and, now that she was a good nine months pregnant, she was bitchier than ever, probably because of the hormones.

“We have become aware that you have a cat in your apartment.”

I turned red. I never declared Madison, preferring not to deal with the hassle of paying a pet deposit and the extra rent for a pet
. I couldn’t deny her existence, although I didn’t really know how they found out about her. “Yes, yes, I do.”

“I’m very sorry, Ms. Snowe, but you are in violation of your lease. You will have to vacate the premises within 30 days.”

30 days? Unfuckingbelievable.
Granted, it was my fault for trying to pull a fast one, but still….

“Wait, wait, wait. Um, I’m sorry about the cat. I’d be happy to pay back rent for her and a deposit.” I calculated it in my head. It would be tough to swing the extra money, but I’d manage.

“I’m terribly sorry, but we have already found a new renter for that unit.”

I was dumbfounded. They were kicking me out? I wasn’t aware that the units were in such high demand. Then again, due to the recession, people were losing their homes right and left, or not qualifying for a home at all. Rentals probably
were
in demand.

I was shaking my head. “Isn’t there anything I can do?”

“I’m sorry Ms. Snowe.”

I sighed. My mind went blank.
Well, this is a fine how do you do. Now you have a forcible eviction on your record, and a cat. Plus, your credit is generally shitty because of the Yellow Page ad default –
I had taken out a full page ad in the Yellow Pages that I was unable to pay
.

Who’s going to rent to you now?

I imagined myself homeless.

I could always move in with my mother. My nephew had recently moved out of that house, so there was an extra bedroom.

I went back up my apartment. It was an off night from Ryan, because he had a fund-raiser to attend, as he frequently does. I had found out over the course of the last few weeks that he sat on the board of several charities, so doing fund-raisers was one of his job descriptions. I was pleased to learn that one of the charities was one close to my heart, the Humane Society. But the fund-raiser tonight was for the Rose Brooks House, a battered woman’s shelter. It was being held downtown in one of the large hotels.

My phone rang. It was Ryan. “Hello, beautiful,” he said. This was his standard greeting for me.

“Hey. I thought you were at a fundraiser?”

“I am. They’re getting ready to start the silent auction, so I had a minute, and just wanted to call and say hello.”

“That’s sweet.” I wasn’t in the mood to be talkative.

“So, what’re you doing?”

Contemplating living on the streets with my cat.
“Nothing, just watching a little television.” My viewing habits were classed up a bit, as I was getting ready to watch
Mad Men
on Netflix
.

“I wish you were here.” We’d actually discussed my going as his date
. He wanted me to, I didn’t. I wasn’t ready for that just yet.

“Yeah, me too.” This actually wasn’t a lie. Those things could be boring, but they could sometimes be fun
. And the food was generally passable, if not great. At any rate, the food was better than what I had in my fridge. I was spending so much time at Ryan’s house that my fridge was more threadbare than ever. As I spoke to Ryan, I contemplated getting a Hardee’s turkey burger for dinner. I loved those things.

“Well, honey, the auction is going to start, so I’ll talk to you later.”

“Later.”

I did end up getting Hardee’s that evening, picking up a newspaper at the gas station
.
I better look at the rooms for rent or anything I can find. Hopefully somebody who won’t do a credit check.

I went to bed around 10 PM, and the door was knocking at 11
.

“Hey,” I greeted Ryan.

“Uh, I was in the neighborhood?” He looked sheepish.

Yeah, right. Your fundraiser was downtown, a good thirty minutes away. If you were in the neighborhood, it was because you drove to it.
I found that humorous.

“Ah, you’re here for your booty call,” I said, walking back towards the bedroom.

“Well, yes, but I missed you tonight.” He grabbed me and spun me around, and kissed me passionately, his tongue hungrily exploring my mouth. He tasted of red wine and dark chocolate.

We parted, as I started walking back to the bedroom. I expected him to follow me.

I turned around, and saw him looking at the newspaper that was folded on the coffee table. I had circled several ads for rooms for rent in red.

“What’s this?”
he asked.

Oh, geez, this is embarrassing
.
I still got embarrassed when I was caught up doing stupid things. “Uh, actually, Madison is here illegally.” “Illegally” was not quite the right word, but it was all that I could come up with just then. “I mean illicitly,” I corrected myself when I thought of the right word.

“And?”

“And I have to move out. In thirty days.”

He looked happy about this.

“Exactly why are you smiling?”

“Sit down.”

I sat down, and he sat down next to me on the couch. “Um, uh…well, you know, you could move in with me.”

Oh, hell no
. Hell to the no.

“That is very sweet of you to offer, but I can handle this on my own,” I lied.

He looked crushed. “Won’t you at least consider it?”

I shook my head
. “Impossible. It’s too soon.” Then I realized that I was telling a guy who told me that he was in love with me on the second date (or was it the first?) that something is too soon. My words were falling on deaf ears.

“See, I don’t think so. We get along. Things are going really well.”

I was dumbfounded. “You see how I live. Do you really want that in your house?”

“Actually, yes, as long as you come with your lifestyle.”
That makes a lot of sense. Of course I would be coming with my lifestyle. Why would my lifestyle be coming without me?
I was thinking about that phrase entirely too literally.

“No. The answer is no. Now come to bed, if you want.”

But of course, moving in with him was exactly what I did. I put in applications for leases all over town, but, just as I thought, my forcible eviction and lousy credit put the kibosh on all of them. I knew that Ryan was secretly rooting against all of the apartment complexes. I wouldn’t be surprised if he paid them all off, one by one, to deny me.

Of course, it wouldn’t take something that nefarious to get me denied at these places. My history did that all on its own.

Finally, I called uncle. But first, he had to meet my family.

At his house, when I finally confessed that I was going to take him up on his offer, I put the stipulation of meeting my family. There was no way that I would move in with him, making such a serious step, without them first meeting him
. Ryan readily agreed.

I figured that this was a good time to see if there was some reciprocity in this
.

“So, you’re finally going to meet the fam.”

“Yes, and I am excited!”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well, is your family ok with some strange woman living in your house?”

His mood darkened. “I don’t know.”

This was a reaction I expected, yet didn’t expect
. I knew that there was something going on with the dad, and I had a pretty good suspicion about what. However, my suspicion was so horrible that it couldn’t be imagined. Yet, the proof was there – at least one night a week, Ryan talked in his sleep, begging his father to stop something. I wished that Ryan would open up, but, apparently he wasn’t ready for that just yet.