Beautiful Pain (14 page)

“
So?” said her friend after a long pause, sounding bored. “One kiss and you are worried?”

Sophia widened her eyes with horror.

“
You’re not understanding what is going on here. I am his probation officer and I am responsible for him in some ways. He cannot kiss me or touch me. It’s wrong!”

But Vanessa just waved her hand away.

“
Seriously, Sophia get a grip. He kissed you, so what? You would be much happier if you would sleep with him!”

Then she got up and walked away from the room, muttering words under her breath that didn’t reach Sophia. She left her in the living room shocked and confused. Vanessa didn’t get that Sophia could be in a lot of trouble for what she had done today. She instantly decided that she had to be firmer with him, push him away if he was going to try this again. The cold shiver travelled down her spine when she even thought about his hot, well-built body pressed against hers, and she felt an ache between her legs. She could be with any other man but she was still thinking about Harry.

The next day Vanessa didn’t mention the awkward conversation with Sophia. She was acting as if nothing had happened, and deep down Sophia was glad that she didn’t have to dwell on what had happened in Harry’s house. She texted Mason later that evening and organized another date. She needed to take her mind off Harry, who was just playing his usual game to get his way. She overreacted when Mason touched her in the car. She lost control, two years of therapy helped her, but she couldn’t repeat what she’d done. She was over her beautiful pain.

The week passed quickly. Sophia’s mother didn’t try to call her again and Sophia was worried. She could only hope that they didn’t plan a surprise visit. Ramona texted her a few times, but Sophia didn’t reply. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to tell her about Mason or about what happened with Harry.

At work Sophia completed Harry’s report and got on with her usual stuff. Susan asked about her home visit during lunch time, but after Sophia assured her that everything went smoothly she only nodded. Harry was on her mind all day; she couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he was hiding something from her. She kept seeing other offenders, attended meetings, and went out running in the evening, but she couldn’t forget that kiss. The date with Mason was next week and this time Sophia was determined to let go of the past. After all, Harry kissed her and she didn’t freak out, she just had to use her strength with Mason. He was handsome, charming, and he was interested in her, nothing else mattered.

On Thursday night she came home just after five. She was starving and it was Vanessa’s turn to cook, but as usual the fridge was empty. Vanessa was always more laid back than Sophia and nothing was ever urgent to her. Today she was lying on the sofa and flipping through the channels on the TV.

“
So I guess that you won’t be making dinner today?” asked Sophia, slightly irritated.

“
Yes I will, but I didn’t have time to go shopping. I was so tired,” replied her friend with a lazy smile.

“
But it’s your turn to cook, Vanessa.”

“
All right, all right I am going now,” snapped Vanessa, getting up. Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. “I am going to go and get changed, it’s probably Kath from next door.”

Sophia sighed and turned to see who was at the door.

“
I am sorry, I think I made a mistake,” said the tall man as soon as he saw her. He scratched his head and added, “I am looking for Vanessa Clarke?”

“
Yes this is her apartment,” replied Sophia quickly, unsure of what to say or do. He obviously knew Vanessa, so she decided to let him in. He was handsome and had a strong Irish accent. His strawberry blond hair was untidy and he looked tired. Sophia gave him a point for a nice smile.

He looked tense and glanced around, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“
Who the hell is—”

Vanessa was standing at the door, but she stopped talking halfway through the sentence. Her jaw dropped and she caught the door, trying to hold her balance. The colour drained from her face.

“
Timothy,” she whispered.

Sophia glanced at the man that Vanessa had just called Timothy. He looked out of place, not like she imagined him at all. Vanessa told Sophia about Timothy a while ago. Her friend admitted that she was still in love with him. Timothy was originally from Dublin, but he came to study in Belfast. He graduated last year and Vanessa met him during a night out. They were together for two years. He asked Vanessa to move with him to Dublin, but she wasn’t prepared to leave everything for him. He was the man that Vanessa still loved, the man who left her.

Chapter Fourteen

“
Vanessa, I was in town and I thought ...” he began, but then his voice broke. His eyes went downcast before he lifted them slowly to look at Vanessa.

“
How did you enter?” barked Vanessa, folding her arms together. She was trying to sound harsh, but her voice was cracked. She didn’t look her best, but Sophia knew that her friend wasn’t worried about her clothes. She was petrified seeing her ex-boyfriend standing in front of her.

“
The neighbor let me in. I wasn’t sure if you were going to open the door for me,” he said, running his hand through his hair. Vanessa’s eyes twitched and she exhaled sharply.

“
Sophia, this is Timothy,” introduced Vanessa. “The bastard.”

Sophia only nodded, her face flushed with heat. Tim ignored Vanessa’s comment and his chest heaved slightly. Sophia thought that he obviously wasn’t sure what to expect when he decided to visit Vanessa, and now he was paying the price.

“
Can we talk?” he asked.

“
I don’t want to talk. I made it perfectly clear to you that I’ll have nothing to do with arseholes like you,” added Vanessa frowning, not blinking. Sophia needed to get out of here, she didn’t want to be caught in the middle of the riot. She knew her friend; Vanessa had a bad temper and she wasn’t going to let go of him leaving her.

“
I just want to talk to you, that’s all I am asking. I don’t want to fight,” he pressed, moving forward.

“
There is nothing to talk about. You left and we are done,” snarled Vanessa, flushed. “Do you think you can come here after all this time and demand to speak to me?”

“
Vanessa, please,” pleaded Tim. Sophia brushed her hair away and stepped towards her friend.

“
I am going to get something to eat.”

Vanessa didn’t react, so Sophia moved back to her room. She wasn’t going to stay in the apartment. They obviously still had feelings for each other. She knew Vanessa well. She wanted to throw herself into Tim’s arms and forget about everything, but she had her pride.

Sophia vanished into her room and slipped into more comfortable clothes. She left the apartment as quickly as possible and exhaled with relief once she was outside. She was planning to go out and get some take away. The evening was already ruined, Vanessa was with Tim and Sophia didn’t expect that their conversation was going to be short. She had got to know the neighborhood in the past few weeks, but she still had to walk for a bit to find her favourite take away. She could only hope that Vanessa would listen to what Tim had to say to her. He had left her, but now he obviously wanted her back.

The sky was cloudy but it was still warm. The streets were quiet and deserted. Sophia slowly got used to this enigmatic Irish atmosphere, feeling that she could see herself living away from London. After about a fifteen minutes’ walk she reached the unknown street with a few take away shops. She must have taken a wrong turn because she didn’t recognise this street. She bought chips and curry sauce and ate inside the shop. She was going to do some grocery shopping as well. Vanessa would have texted her if she got rid of Timothy. She was probably hungry herself.

She stopped a young local girl and asked her if there was a supermarket around. She was directed to a few streets over. Following the instructions from the teenager, she turned into a back alley, entering a quiet neighborhood. It was one of the back streets, but after a ten minutes’ walk, Sophia was certain that she was lost. The young girl probably played a prank on her. Then she heard voices further away. She reversed back behind the bins, trying not to bring anyone’s attention. Her heartbeat quickened. She shouldn’t even be here, away from the main street, alone with a group of suspicious looking men. Her stomach lurched as she saw a few blokes that were laughing out loud. She was just about to turn around when she recognized one of the men. The heat rushed to her ears when she saw Harry O’Donaghue. She widened her eyes, trying to see what he was doing. Waiting anxiously, she watched as he passed something to a shorter dark haired bloke. Then the same bloke handed him some money. She was close enough to notice it.

Her heart pounded in her chest. She turned around in panic. Harry couldn’t possibly see her, he was busy still dealing. She rushed away, hoping that no one noticed her, walking back where she came from.

Dread crawled through her chest to her stomach realising what she’d just seen. Harry was back, dealing drugs. She didn’t know what she was thinking, but she crossed the street and decided to hide in the corner and see what else he was planning to do today. Her breathing was irregular and the muscles in her whole body were oddly numb. Fifteen minutes later she saw the same group of men walking away. The view of the street was clear, but she looked odd hiding behind the car. Her mouth went dry and the nervous hit rushed through her body watching Harry emerge from the alley. He glanced around, not noticing her walking away fast. She didn’t want to listen to whatever voice in her head told her to keep away from him. She left her safe spot and rushed after him.

“
Harry!” she yelled.

He turned around and frowned, staring at her with disbelief.

“
Sophia, what are you doing here?” he asked, glancing around and parting his lips. She didn’t have time to play games; her confidence grew.

“
I saw you in that alley a moment ago,” she said, scanning his posture and the amazing tattoo on his arm. She felt physically sick, and unable to believe that he was so stupid to be doing this where anyone could see him.

“
What exactly did you see, Sophia?” he asked, approaching her, dangerously close. Sophia was slowly losing her confidence as those beautiful brown eyes were piercing through her. She didn’t know what to do when he was staring so intensely at her, sensing her uneasiness. She caught the scent of his aftershave and inhaled. It was like his lips rustic and sweet

“
You were selling something, probably drugs,” she hissed, unable to move.

He smirked and opened his mouth to say something, but instead he cupped Sophia’s face and kissed her before she could come to her senses and react. Sophia felt the earth open up beneath her and it was pulling her in. His kiss wasn’t soft, but violent and deprived. Her mind screamed to pull away, but her body screamed to respond. His tongue was teasing her. The violent tremor passed through her body, awakening the warmth and need for him.

When he finally stopped, Sophia’s breathing was ragged and she was shaking. She felt cold, then hot as she finally met his eyes.

“
You can’t even imagine how much I wanted to do this again,” he said after a long moment, his chest falling and rising.

“
You know that you will be going back to prison. As soon as I report what I saw, they are going to lock you up,” she whispered.

“
I haven’t done anything wrong. I am just doing what I have to do to keep my mother alive,” he said, sounding annoyed. The air around them was heavy, infused by the lust that they both felt. The warmth between her legs was driving all of her senses crazy. She was flushed and aroused, but the moment wasn’t right at all.