Beautiful Pain (17 page)

“
Swim? Are you mad? The water must be freezing!”

“
It’s perfect, and I am going in,” he said and before Sophia could realise what he was doing he was shirtless, his muscles flexed and Sophia’s heartbeat quickened. She stopped breathing for several seconds staring at his beautiful tattoo, wanting to wrap herself around him.

Don’t even go there
, she thought.

“
You are mad. I know it is summer, but today it’s cold,” she warned him. She was hoping to distract herself from his body and his tattoos, but she was failing miserably. He took off his jeans and stood in front of her in his boxers. Harry laughed and a mad gleam started dancing in his eyes. She blushed, dismissing the lust that was building up inside her core.

“
See you in a minute,” he chuckled and started running towards the sea and screaming with excitement. The shore was empty. Sophia couldn’t believe that no one knew about this place. The waves were high, and when Harry dived in goose pimples popped up on her skin.

“
Come on, you will love it!!” he roared, drifting on the surface.

Sophia shook her head. She couldn’t strip off in public, especially in a place like this where everyone could see her scarred body. She couldn’t let Harry see that she was hopeles

Chapter Seventeen

Harry had gotten a brain freeze; the water was colder than he thought it would be. He was watching Sophia as the waves carried him. He needed to feel free again, forget about his daunting problems. He spent another five minutes before he got back on dry land. Sophia didn’t have a boyfriend and Harry was glad about that. She was the most beautiful girl that he’d ever seen and he wanted her, his body ached for her. Her eyes scanned his tattoo when he was walking towards her dripping wet. While she was looking at him with those beautiful amber eyes, trying to hide the blush, he had gotten an instant hard on.

“
You are going to freeze to death,” she said, smiling, and passed him his shirt. The cold, crispy wind blew and he shivered. He didn’t care that he was cold, he’d already had a plan worked out in his head. He quickly put his clothes back on, ignoring his numb limbs.

“
Don’t worry about it, babe. Come on, let’s walk,” he said and took her warm hand. She didn’t pull away this time and he smiled to himself, thinking that soon he would have her in his arms.

“
If you think that you will distract me from asking questions about you then you are very wrong,” she said.

“
You got me, so fine … fire away. What do you want to know?”

He was sure that she wouldn’t mention to anyone what she’d seen in that alley yesterday. If he was going to open himself up to her and tell her the whole truth, he had to know that he could trust her.

“
I read the report from court, and you were caught with a large amount of cocaine and cannabis. Just tell me why?”

God, she wasn’t going to give up on this. She went straight to the point.

“
I promised that I would explain everything, but you also need to promise me that you won’t do anything stupid with the information that I am going to reveal.”

Sophia narrowed her eyes and stopped.

“
Well, I don’t think that we agreed to that,” she reminded him.

Harry took both of her palms and squeezed them harder, staring deeply into her amber eyes.

“
Please, I have to know that I can trust you. Otherwise, I can’t tell you what is going on.”

“
You are asking for a lot, Harry, and I am still torn between what is right or wrong. So far I know that you are dealing again.”

Harry ran his hand through his hair, his pierced eyebrow twitching with impatience. Sophia was right, so far she only knew about his ill mother. He had to trust her, there wasn’t any other way.

“
I have never done drugs but I am selling them because I am trying to get money together for my mother’s operation. As you know she has cancer, but it’s in the very early stage. She is on the waiting list, but it could be months before she will even be considered to go under the knife. By then it could be too late. The cancer could have spread and there won’t be any point going through with the operation.”

Harry stopped talking and wondered if she was going to believe him. He hated himself that there was no other way, he couldn’t sit at home while his mother suffered.

Sophia’s eyes were wide-open with shock.

“
You are selling drugs because you want to finance your mother’s operation?” she repeated.

“
Yes, Sophia, that’s exactly what I am doing. I don’t expect you to understand,” he paused, sounding calm. “All of my brothers were always in trouble. They skipped school and got in with the wrong people, but me, I was never into drugs and fights. I am not saying that I was an angel, but I was never interested in that shit. I just wanted to move away from Belfast. I needed money and I thought that drugs would solve the problem. Then Mum got ill and I had to change my plans, and take care of her.”

He sounded bitter. He couldn’t believe that he’d made that decision, but that was in the past now. Sophia was quiet, but she looked pale staring at Harry with her large beautiful eyes. He wasn’t even sure why he’d told her about his secret.

“
How much is the operation?” she asked.

“
It’s around thirty-thousand Euros,” he breathed out, exhausted talking about this with her. Money has never been important to him, but he was willing to do anything to help his mother. Lennox and Maxwell couldn’t do anything. His brothers were broke and behind bars.

“
So that’s why you were caught with cocaine a few months ago?”

He nodded. Sophia exhaled and looked away. He wanted to know what she was thinking.

“
You know what is going to happen if you get caught again, right? They won’t just give you community service.”

“
I am aware of what could happen, you don’t have to tell me. I had a clean plan in my head. I was going to move away, then my brother’s mate called me up, saying that there was a chance to make some good money. There was a large undercover operation in Belfast and they caught me. My mother couldn’t believe it because I always stayed away from trouble. After I came out, she got ill. I refused to get into dealing again, but I couldn’t sit back when the doctors kept saying that we just had to wait. They told us it could be six to eight months. After her appointment in the hospital I went to a few guys. I told them that I wanted to start again. They agreed because of my brothers.”

“
You are doing this the wrong way,” she hissed, pacing around him.

“
Don’t be delusional, Sophia. I lost my job when I was caught. The judge went easy on me because it was my first offence, but my boss didn’t want to keep me on after that. The bank wouldn’t give us a loan. Mum had to stop working. No one would have that kind of cash”

“
How long are you going to carry on with drugs?”

He broke eye contact and looked at the sea. He didn’t expect her to react so calmly. He thought that she would start panicking, trying to convince him to stop.

“
Until the end of the summer, I have got a good sum of money already,” he added. “Come on, let’s walk. I want to show you my favourite spot.”

Harry smiled and started climbing the sandy dune. He wasn’t sure if Sophia understood what he was going through, but he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Right now he was with Sophia and he wanted to show her that he cared about her. They moved to another small beach, which was equally beautiful. Two ruined fishing boats were just adding to the charm of this spot. The waves were wilder and the storm was approaching. Harry rarely saw anyone here, the roads were so remote that no one was willing to abandon their car in the middle of nowhere. He’d never brought anyone else here, and he used to come here often to clear his head.

“
We are going to have a picnic here,” he announced. Sophia smiled; the breeze was tangling her blonde hair. In the dying sun Harry thought that she looked beautiful. Her golden skin was shimmering and her pupils were dilated with excitement.

“
Sounds great,” she beamed.

“
Let’s see who can get to that boat first. If I win I am going to kiss you,” he said and started running before she realised what he’d said. Harry was fast and he didn’t expect that she would catch up with him. He nearly tripped when he saw her sprinting, beating him by over a few metres.

“
I guess I won, so you won’t be kissing me,” she chuckled, breathing heavily.

“
How did you do that? Are you some kind of a superhero?” he gasped.

“
I am just a good runner. I always wanted to be an athlete, but my parents ...”

“
Well? What happened then?” he asked, putting his rucksack down. He wasn’t in shape at all. He’d skipped gym for a few weeks and he was just beaten by a girl. Sophia looked reluctant to explain.

“
Well, they were against sports. They didn’t want me to compete or train.”

“
Why not? There is nothing wrong with running.”

“
As I said before, my parents always wanted me to do well, but not in sports. They believe in a solid education and art.”

“
And you didn’t fight with them?”

“
I tried, but I am the only child, and in the end I just accepted it,” she replied.

“
Sorry, but your parents have no idea what they are talking about. You should always follow your dreams, no matter what.”

“
Have you got any dreams? If your mother wasn’t ill what would you do?” she asked.

“
I don’t know, I was good at Rugby when I was in school. My coach said that I should have gone to university.”

“
So why didn’t you go?”

“
Because my brothers went to prison and my mother couldn’t afford to pay the mortgage, so I had to help out,” he explained. “I started working in the office as a help desk assistant. You know the rest of the story.”

He always wanted to get away from Belfast, he had plans and aspirations. His mates kept telling him that he didn’t have to go to university to become someone. When Lennox got sentenced, Harry had to find a job. His plans were pushed aside.

“
Don’t give up on that dream,” she said.

“
Look who is giving me advice. You should have gone against your parents and done whatever you wanted to do.”

She didn’t reply and Harry started to unpack the rucksack. He wanted her to forget for at least today about her life. For now they were free. He put the blanket on the sand and took out his homemade sandwiches.

“
Thank you for bringing me here. This place is beautiful,” she sighed, looking at the wild sea.

“
Stop talking and eat, you must be starving,” he said and pulled her down towards him. Sophia landed on his lap.

“
Harry, I—”

“
Shh, I don’t want you to worry about anything right now. Just enjoy the moment.” He smiled. He wanted to seal his lips onto hers, but he restrained himself. This moment needed to last longer, he didn’t want to rush things.