Beautifully Broken (12 page)

I drifted in and out of
consciousness most of the day. When I finally came to, it was dark outside.
Hannah was nowhere to be seen and I had to pee like never before.

“Hannah?” My voice cracked
from how dry it was. I reached over and took a sip of water and some of he pink
pills, when I heard Hannah’s faint voice in the background. I could hear her
starting to get really mad. I pulled myself into a sitting position on the
couch, instantly regretting it. Oh man, there was so much pain and I had no
idea where it was all coming from. I finally sat myself up enough to get off
the couch.

I shuffled my feet across
the tile floor, holding onto the wall for support. She was back in my bedroom
and I could hear her getting more pissed off, the closer I got. I stopped a few
feet away from the door to listen.

“How do you think she feels?
No you idiot, she is not okay. I don’t have a clue as to what is going through
her mind. Of course I tried to talk her out of it. Well Gray, maybe YOU should
have been here then.”

I gasped and Hannah quickly
turned around, seeing me in the doorway. A look of pure horror slapped across
her face. I could see the color slowly start to leave her already pale face and
I knew she knew she fucked up.

“You fucking told him? You
lying, BITCH! You promised me. I can’t bel-” I doubled over in pain, falling to
my knees. My ears were ringing and I could feel the sensation of needing to
pass out, running through my limbs.

“Gray, hold on.” Hannah
threw the phone down on the bed and ran to my side. “Oh my GOD Bennett, are you
okay? Holy shit there is blood
everywhere
.”

She tried to grab my arms to
help me stand, but I was livid. “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” Between my anger and
the excruciating pain I was in, I ended up screaming into her face.

“Bennett please just let me
help you. There’s too much blood. I don’t think that’s normal.” She ran over to
the bed picking up her phone. “Gray I have to call you back. No you asshole,
there is blood everywhere. I’m calling 911.” Hang in there Hon; I’m going to
get you help. Don’t move.” I could feel the fear radiating off of her.

The phone was back against
her ear, listening intently as the operator instructed her to lay me flat on my
back, and prop up my knees until the ambulance could arrive. I could feel
myself falling unconscious, when I heard a loud booming voice in my ear.

“Miss do you know your
name?” He was SO loud.

I strained, trying to say
anything intelligible. My eyes kept fluttering open and closed and all I wanted
to do was sleep.

“Okay, Miss, my name is Theo
and I am a paramedic. We are going to get you onto the gurney and take you to
the hospital. Shake your head for me, if you understand.”

I must have shaken my head
because I was soon being wheeled out my front door. Everything passed by in a
blur. One minute I was in my house, then in an ambulance and now the hospital.
Everything began to dim. The bright lights above me no longer shone at their 80
watts or more. I could feel myself going under, and the only thing I could
think about was my little peanut. I clutched at my belly, praying that this was
all a dream. The last image to flash through my mind before I succumbed to the
darkness was Gray, and he looked pissed.

My eyes were heavy and hazy
as I tried to open them. The sunlight shining through the window next to my
bed, felt as though it was burning my corneas. I snapped my eyes shut and
turned my head in the other direction. I blinked my eyes, trying to get them
too focus. I lifted my hand to wipe them clear. I noticed a small IV in the top
part of my right hand. I followed the tubing, up towards the ceiling to see a
bag of IV fluid slowly dripping into my line down into my veins.

I could see the sunlight
leaving the room, as I looked out the window and saw a large gray cloud passing
right through the rays. I scanned the room thoroughly to try to understand
where exactly I was. What the hell happened? My roaming eyes came to a halt,
when I saw his figure standing in the doorway. He was not who I expected to
see, but a familiar face was what I needed at this moment.

I tugged through my unruly
hair to make myself more presentable. It was a loss cause; I had more tangles
than a young child. I felt a smile flash across my face and it was comforting
to not have to fake it. He was holding a beautiful bunch of wildflowers in a
crystal vase.

Expensive!

Oh, he looked even better
than I had remembered. His buzz cut had grown out a few inches since the last
time I saw him, but still sat fairly short on top of his head. His deep brown
eyes danced as he stared at me, without saying a word and I could feel mine
doing the same. His uniform consisted of a tight fitting navy shirt, which
hugged every muscle that covered his torso. His navy cargo pants that sat nice
and low on his hips and hugged him in all the right places. My eyes scanned
back up over his chest and landed on the half sleeve of tattoos on his right
arm. How had I never noticed that before?

My hands flew up to cover my
face with extreme embarrassment. “Oh shit! Please tell me you weren’t one of
the paramedics that came to my house?” I couldn’t tear my hands from my face. I
couldn’t stand to be this mortified in front of someone I barely knew.

His warm gentle hands were
suddenly pulling mine from my face. “Hey, don’t hide from me.” A small chuckle
escaped his throat. At least he found this amusing. “I wasn’t one of the
paramedics at your house. Don’t worry.” My eyes slowly moved up to meet his
gaze. His beautiful smile was only inches away from me. His lips looked so
tempting. I let my tongue swipe out and lick my bottom lip in response.

I finally tore myself away
from his mesmerizing gaze long enough, to ask him a question. “If you weren’t
there, then how did you know I was here? Wait…. you never told me that you were
a paramedic.” My brow furrowed in confusion.

“I don’t believe I ever got
the chance to tell you what I did for a living. You left my party rather
quickly, if you don’t remember.” He gave me a half-cocked grin and I couldn’t
help but smile back.

Guilt finally swept over me
as I started to remember why, I was even here in the first place. I choked down
the lump that in my throat. There was no way I was going to let myself break
down in front of him.

“Do you want me to go? I’m
sorry I didn’t mean to intrude, honest. I was just getting ready to leave for
the night, when they brought you in. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,
that’s all.”

He started to lift himself
off of the corner of my bed when I grabbed his wrist. “Please, don’t go. It’s
not you. Thank you for the flowers.” I blushed, feeling like an asshole for not
saying thank you to begin with.

“Oh these?” He held up the
vase full of flowers. “Oh, these aren’t for you. There for the little old lady
next door.”

For a second I thought he
was completely serious, until that cocky little grin of his decided to make
another appearance. “Gotcha.” He let out a loud amused laugh and I laughed
right along with him. Once our laughter died down, I heard Hannah clearing her
throat in the doorway.

Raylon got up off the bed
and set the flowers on the small nightstand, between my bed and bathroom. “I
better go. I didn’t mean to impose. Bye Bennett. Bye Hannah.” He turned on his
heel and headed towards the doorway. I don’t know what came over me, but I
couldn’t let him leave. Especially, not knowing when I would ever see him
again.

“Wait, Raylon?” He turned
with one arm pushing against the doorframe. Every muscle was enlarged and I
completely forgot what I was going to say.

“Yes?” He looked intense and
serious.

I twisted my hands together,
trying to find the right words to say. “Could you just give Hannah and me a
little bit, then could you…. umm… could you come back?” I could feel me cheeks
turning ruby red. I tried to hide my face with my greasy-unwashed-hospital-bed
hair, but to no avail.

“Sure. I’ll be back, around
nine o’clock, when my shift ends. Sound good?” His eyes were peering straight
into me. Something about this guy made my heart beat elevate. I yearned for him
to touch me again.

“Yeah, that sounds good.
I’ll see you then. Oh and thanks again for my flowers, they’re beautiful.” I
smiled a wide smile as he winked and turned to leave.

“What the hell was that all
about?” Hannah was giggling as she playfully smacked my knee.

“Honestly, I have no idea. I
was waking up, trying to remember where I was and then he was just there in the
doorway, looking all good and shit.” I let out a small giggle.

“Well honey, he has got it
bad for you.” She smirked.

I play punched her in her
shoulder. “Hannah, knock it off. I’m with Gray. I shouldn’t even be talking to
Raylon.” I lowered my eyes in shame.

Her hand grabbed me by the
chin and forced me to look up at her. “And just so you know, I’m not too happy
with your boyfriend at the moment.”

“Speaking of which, why did
you tell him Han? You promised me.” I had to bite back the angry tears
threatening to betray me.

Her head fell, knowing how
disappointed I was. “I’m
really
sorry Bennett but he had a right to
know. Although now I wish I would’ve just listened to you. You were right
Bennett, he is
so
not ready to be a dad.” I swear I heard her whisper
‘asshole’ under her breath, but I ignored it.

“Is he flying out to see me
at least?” My heart filled with hope.

“No,” she whispered.

And just like that, my heart
broke into a million pieces. This time I let the tears flow freely, I wasn’t
holding anything back anymore. Her arms wrapped around me, but I pushed her
off. I wiped the tears with the palms of my hands and sat up a little bit
straighter.

“What the hell is wrong with
him? You know what? I don’t care. There is no excuse in this world that would
even come close to making me feel bad for
him.
” I grabbed a tissue from the box next to my bed and
dabbed away the last falling tear. I refused to cry over someone who couldn’t
be man enough to be by my side through this.

“Bennett?”

“Yeah Han?” She looked
worried. I reached out to comfort her but she sat up, pacing around the small
all white hospital room.

“When I told him…. When I
told Gray that you were pregnant he was ecstatic. He asked me a million times
if I was joking. He was telling everyone he ran into, on his way to class. I
don’t think I have ever heard him that happy. When I started to cry, he got
very serious very fast. I didn’t want to tell him what you did. I couldn’t, but
he forced me to. When I told him that you ‘took care of it’ because you thought
he wouldn’t want this, well, let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.”

I couldn’t look at Hannah as
she told me about Gray’s reaction. My heart began breaking all over again. He
did
want this baby and I selfishly took that away from him. I stared out the window
at the overcast sky.

“Bennett?” Her voice cut
through my revelry like a knife.

“When I told him you were
bleeding and I needed to call 911, he told me to just let you be. He said that
you should have to pay for taking his child’s life.”

Hannah threw herself onto
the corner of my bed, balling. “Oh Hannah, this isn’t your fault. Gray is who
he is. I knew what I was doing.” I ran my fingers through her hair trying to
get her to calm down.

“But...if I never would have
told him, you guys would be fine.” She barely got the words out between sobs.

“Hannah, this is not your
fault. I
did
this. How could I have been so stupid? I should have
known that he would’ve wanted to keep it. He’s never going to speak to me
again, is he?” I already knew the answer, but I needed to hear her say it. Of
course he wasn’t. Who would want to be with someone who could do something like
that?