Because of You (37 page)

I shake my head. Tears line my lashes, and I clear my throat. Forcing myself to be strong for her. “You aren’t fine. And it’s my fault. I should’ve known.” What I don’t say is that I shouldn’t have looked the other way when it came to my family. I should’ve found out what was really going on. Knowing that Maddie almost died because of me, because I chose to give my family the benefit of the doubt, is almost more than I can bear. That’s what it boils down to. How could I have been such a fool?

My biggest concern? Did my father really kill her parents? And if he did, how could she ever love me? If the tables were turned, I might not be so understanding. “Can you ever forgive me?”

“Kyle, I love you.” Maddie takes my face between her hands. “You. The man you are. Not your father. Not your family. But you.” Her voice is tender, and I can’t hold back the tears any longer.

“I love you too, Freckles.”

Maddie

find myself in an interrogation room. My psychologist, Abigail, is here, as is another psychologist from the FBI. His name is Mr. Turner. Bitchy Spears is there too. Turns out she isn’t an English professor, but is in fact an agent for the FBI. Placed undercover four years ago, when Evan started school at the University of Bellam Springs. She’s been the agent in charge since my parents died all those years ago.

I give her my statement.

“Do you know where we can find this key?” she asks.

I squeeze my hands together. “It might be somewhere in my uncle’s truck or in the DVD case for
Remember the Titans
.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Why do you say that?”

“It’s a guess. My uncle used to say it a lot at seemingly random times.” I shrug. “Other than that, I have no idea where else to look.”

“Let’s go check it out.”

“First, can you tell me about Kyle? I want to make sure he’s alright.” They took him away in handcuffs. Told me it was protocol, and that they would release him as soon as they were done questioning him. I know he’s innocent, but I’m worried about where his mind is going. I told him it wasn’t his father who killed my parents, that it was actually his uncle. The news didn’t seem to lift his spirits any.

“Kyle is fine,” Bitchy Spears says. Her real name is Smythe. She’ll always be Bitchy to me. “He hasn’t done anything wrong…surprisingly.” She grunts. “He certainly had plenty of chances.”

We pull up in front of my aunt and uncle’s house. It’s a blue two story with black shutters. The ache in my heart increases. Agent Spears pulls the tape off the front and I unlock the door.

Everything looks the same. Clean. Modern. White walls. Large bone tile in the entryway. A grouping of mirrors over a sleek black entry table. I turn right to head toward the kitchen. Green apples, lemons, and limes sit in a black wire basket atop the granite island. Clorox stings my nose. Like someone had cleaned.

I move to the garage door. Open it. Flip on the light. Uncle John’s black Titan looms large in its normal spot. Someone pushes the button to open the garage, letting in the bright light from outside.

It’s midday.

Abigail moves to stand next to me. She squeezes my arm, letting me know she’s there if I need her. I really appreciate it. Having her near has brought more comfort than I could’ve imagined.

“Search everything,” Bitchy says.

I stand back. Watch them rip through the truck like it’s a present on Christmas morning. One of the agents shouts, “Got something.”

The key turns out to belong to a safety deposit box at the Titan Federal Savings Bank. Inside is all sorts of incriminating information, tapes, and papers. Stuff that proves Kyle’s dad, Evan’s dad, and even my parents were part of a huge drug ring. In fact, the FBI uncovers what turns out to be the largest police-related drug ring ever exposed in the United States.

More than a million pounds of drugs are confiscated. Evan, his father, and twenty other employees of the Bellam Springs Police Department are arrested over the next several weeks.

It makes me sad.

Agent Bitchy and her partner drive Abigail and me back to their offices. I stare out the window, watching the houses, the trees, and the old buildings rush by. We’re in the old part of town, made to look like the Wild West. The fronts of the buildings are facades. I realize that’s how I feel about my parents. Everything I thought I knew about them was false. I can’t help but feel like my parents have died all over again. But it’s a different kind of death. I had this preconceived notion about what kind of people they were. They raised me to have values, to be good, do what’s right.

“How you holding up?” Abigail asks, patting my thigh.

I shrug, unable to look at her. Because words are too complicated right now.

“Your mom and dad were more than parents. They were people as well. And people make mistakes. That doesn’t mean the good memories you have of them should feel false. They’re real. They loved you. Hold on to that, and realize that in the end they tried to do the right thing.”

I nod, amazed how well this woman knows me. It makes me think that maybe she should talk to Kyle. He might need to hear some of the same things. I can’t even imagine how painful this must be for him, knowing his dad, his uncle, his cousin, and probably his aunt were part of this.

“I feel betrayed,” I blurt out, pressing my head against the cold glass. And realize that’s probably how Kyle feels as well.

“It’s understandable, Maddie.”

She leaves it at that and removes her hand from my thigh. I look at her. She gazes out the window, as I’d been doing. I see sadness in her features, and for the first time I wonder what kind of a life she lives. Does she have a husband? Children? We never talk about her.

I catch Bitchy regarding me in the rear view mirror and turn away. Her eyes look understanding, sympathetic, and I don’t like it. It doesn’t suit her. I prefer her bitchiness.

Kyle

The FBI questions me for hours until I decide I could fall asleep standing. My uncle and Evan are in custody, and that’s good, because if I ever seen Evan again I’ll kill him.

What he did to Maddie is inexcusable. What he and my uncle have been doing behind my back is the worst kind of treachery. Even though I’m glad I didn’t know, I feel like I should have. Reliving the past, I think deep down I knew something was off, but I wanted to believe so damn bad that my dad wasn’t what people said. Turns out he was nothing more than a pawn in a scheme that has tentacles throughout the state.

At least my dad didn’t pull the trigger and kill Maddie’s parents. But he was there, which is unforgiveable.

I hope Maddie does forgive me though, because she’s all I’ve got left.