Bleeding Heart (4 page)

“Calix,” His name was a sob, a plea, and a prayer.

He didn’t respond. Instead, I felt him swimming us closer to the dock. His hand slipped from the bottom of my bathing suit and he pushed me to the ladder, breaking contact with my body. With the absence of his touch, I felt the chill of the water again and I almost cried.

“Climb up, love.”

Confused, I turned away from him to grip the ladder. I climbed up onto the dock, waiting for him on week knees as my body throbbed with unsatisfied desire. I watched him as he climbed the ladder behind me and when I saw the large, swollen evidence of his yearning for me beneath the dripping swim shorts, I was both further aroused and confused. He wanted me - why had he stopped?

Flashing his eyes to mine, I gasped at the heat in their depths. When he quickly stretched a towel over the surface of the dock, my heart raced. “Lie down.”

My knees locked. Standing there, as understanding lit up in my brain, I froze. Calix looked up at me from where he was kneeling on the corner of the towel and his cheek twitched. Lifting himself onto his feet, he moved toward me. Catching me around the waist, Calix physically moved me to the towel before pushing me down on my knees. When I was kneeling, he lowered himself to face me. His eyes connected with mine and I saw something in their deeps that affected not only my body - but also my heart. It leapt and ached at the same time, but then he pressed his lips to mine. Hunger for this dark man claimed my every thought as he pleaded for entrance to my mouth with his tongue. He didn’t have to plead long. Right now, in this moment - I would have given him everything he asked for - anything he wanted.

Pushing me down onto my back, he didn’t break contact with my mouth. His hands were everywhere, but they weren’t uncertain. Every path they trailed pulled a heat from so deep within my body, it didn’t take long until my entire body was burning for him. Arching my back, I pressed my chest into his - aching for more contact - deeper contact.

I wanted him.

I needed him.

I burned for him.

Moving my hands along the moist skin of his back, I tried to pull him closer to me, but he didn’t move. With one arm resting beneath my neck, holding himself up, his other searched my body where the inches of space and electricity crackled between us. I wanted my bathing suit off. I wanted his bathing suit off. I wanted him to surround me - own me - complete me - fill me. It had been six days since I’d felt his body against mine - and that was too long. Somehow, in the short time I had belonged to Calix, he had become my addiction. My body yearned for him, craved him in a way I had craved nothing before. The drug he injected into my bloodstream when he touched me, kissed me, pressed his body against mine - it was dominant over any substance this world held. He was so much more than the master of my body - the dark, haunted man was keeper of my soul. And I knew, without doubt, that he also held the key to my heart.

“Please,” I whispered against his lips.

“Tell me love.” He breathed his command.

For the first time, I didn’t shy away from telling him exactly what I wanted.

“I want to feel you. I want to feel your body against mine, Calix.”

“You do?” He sounded surprised as he kissed the corner of my lips.

I nodded. “I need this - to feel you this way. It’s been too long. Please.”

My words were choppy, but my mind was running on overdrive. I couldn’t concentrate on anything that wasn’t the man hovering above me.

Calix didn’t reply with words. His lips spread into a smile against the delicate skin of my throat beneath my ear as he kissed me. His hand moved beneath my back to the clasp of my bikini, quickly, expertly releasing it and I sighed. Then, he worked the tie of the material around my neck, freeing me entirely of my top. When he pulled the material away and gazed down at my chest, entirely exposed to him, a small moan sounded in the back of his throat.

“Fuck,” He breathed.

My heart raced.

Calix moved down my body, kissing the tip of both breasts as he moved - but he didn’t linger. Which was good. I didn’t want him to linger. I wanted him to take off my bottoms and then I wanted him to remove his own. I just wanted to feel him. I wanted this connection. I needed it. I ached for it. I felt so impossibly empty without it.

Finally, I felt his fingers hook into the band of my bottoms and I closed my eyes. I could feel him watching me, but I didn’t do anything but lie there - like he’d originally told me to do.

My heart was racing and my breaths were coming in short, fast gasps. When Calix’s lips connected with the crease of my sex, I gave a small cry of surprise and he lifted his head on a grin.

“Calix - please.” I lifted my hands to him and his eyes glowed with desire at my obvious need for him.

He didn’t hesitate to remove his shorts then. I watched, with a wildly beating heart, as he bared his long, impressively thick length to me. Again, like every time I saw him, I felt a little flutter of fear in my belly. I knew he planned on fucking me - eventually - but I didn’t know how he figured
it
would fit. Hell, even the thought of him pushing the width of his fingers inside me had my mind reeling with fear.

Trying to steady my breath, I looked up and found Calix’s eyes. He was staring into my face, watching me take him in. His expression was hungry - his eyes a brilliant shade of cobalt. Behind him was the backdrop of a starry night sky with a deep, solid silhouette of a peaked mountain. He looked beautiful now - and I could only hope I looked just as wonderful in his eyes. Thinking of the wanton way my body was laying before him, I felt a blush of pink warm my cheeks. My legs were spread, my knees lifted, and he sat between them, posing on his knees. The head of his cock was moist and dark. It looked both foreboding and enticing.

“Do you like what you see, love?” He asked gruffly.

I caught my breath, countering. “Do you?”

He sighed, lowering himself to plant both hands on either side of my head. I felt the tip of his penis press against my lower stomach as he hovered over me, keeping space I longed to abolish between us. My entire body trembled in anticipation for his touch.

“For two years, Nova, I’ve watched you and wanted you. For two years, I fantasized about the day you would be like this, beneath me, looking up at me with those big brown eyes.” He made a growling sound in the back of his throat. “You better believe I like what I see.”

My breath caught, but before I could speak, he’d claimed my mouth with his. His kiss wasn’t soft and gentle. It was determined, hungry, and commanding. He was claiming me, I realized, as he slammed his body against mine, covering me, surrounding me. I felt his swollen desire press against my pussy, sliding through my wet need for him.

He groaned against my mouth as he rocked his hips forward, the width of his large body forcing my thighs further apart as he dragged his length against my throbbing center. “You’re so wet, love.” He spoke through nibbles to my lips. “So fucking hot for me.”

“Yes,” I wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my ankles at his back. “For you.”

My words seemed to fill Calix with life, because his rocking against me quickened. I wanted him to take this to the next step. Feeling his chest against mine, pressing his weight into my body, was wonderful, but I wanted more. I wanted him not only around me, but inside of me. I wanted this claiming of his to be official.

My thought was only further encouraged as he pulled his hips back, pressing the tip of his hot cock against my swollen clit, before pressing it slowly down against me - almost at my opening - but never pushing past my innocence. I wanted him to. So badly, I wanted him to own me this way - to be the man that had this part of me - the man that gave me this memory to keep.

In that moment, my decision had been made. I wanted Calix McKnight - completely.

“Make love to me.” I whispered into his mouth.

Calix swallowed my plea and stiffened in my arms. He didn’t say anything as he dropped his face into the crook of my neck, doing nothing more than breathing me in.

It felt like his silence lasted for eternity.

Chapter 4

Calix breathed me in for what felt like hours as I lay beneath him trying not to allow appearance to the tears I suddenly, so desperately, wanted to cry. I felt his body against mine and between my legs, he was still throbbing and hard - so I didn’t understand why he wasn’t moving. Why wasn’t he acting on my plea? This is what he had been pushing for since he’d taken me. This was what he wanted. Why wasn’t he moving?

“Love,” Calix’s voice rumbled against my throat before seeping through my skin and swimming through my blood. I felt him - everywhere.

I bit my lip as he lifted himself onto his palms, looking down into my face. I knew my eyes were pleading, hopeful, and afraid. I knew my heart was pounding because I could hear and I could feel it. My entire body trembled.

Calix looked tortured as he studied me. And then he shook his head and he choked out. “No.”

I stiffened. Actually, I froze.
What?

“Why?” I finally found the ability to utter the single syllabled word on a pained, whispered breath.

Calix bowed his head, looking for a moment like he might change his mind - but then I saw resolution and I knew that wouldn’t happen. Calix was rejecting me. Of all the things I expected from this night, this hadn’t even been in the realm of possibility.

Was it because I’d asked him to make love to me? Should I have asked him to fuck me instead? Was there really even a difference?

“Love,” Calix sounded pained. “I can’t.”

“Why?” I asked again.

“Because this isn’t how you imagined it.” His reply was so quiet I’d had to strain to hear him.

“What?” I frowned, searching the blue of his eyes for answers.

“You said you imagined a bed, candles and wine.”

“Who cares?”

“I do.” He growled, his eyes flashing brilliantly. “I care, Nova.”

“Why?”

“I’ve told you repeatedly, that I want to give you everything you desire. Everything I hold the power to give to you, love, I want to give you.” He sighed. “You wanted your first time to be in a bed with candles and wine - that is what you will have.” He promised. “I can give that to you.”

It’s times like these, when Calix McKnight, my kidnapper, touches my heart. It’s times like this, that through his faults, I see a glimpse of a beautiful, wonderful, kind man. And I think to myself,
I really could love him.

Determinedly, I reply. “Then take me to bed.”

Again, he shook his head. “No, love.”

Again, I felt the bitter sting of rejection. “Why?”

“Because you also told me you wanted your first time to be with your husband, love.” Calix wiped my hair away from my face, looking down at me gently. “I won’t take you until then.”

Suddenly frustrated, I shook my head. “I’m ready now. Why won’t you just do it?”

His eyes darkened. “Why are you in such a hurry?”

I turned my head away from him, blinking back my tears. I was frustrated and hurt and angry. My body was open to him, and even though he had rejected me - I still wanted him. For the first time, I was truly ready to lose myself in a man and he had rejected me. What kind of screwed up crap was that?

Calix lowered his head once more to my throat. He inhaled deeply and I felt my stomach clench. “Nova, I’m trying to be someone you want. I’m trying, in the only why I know how, to make you happy - to give you something you want.”

My heart ached. I wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt me so many times.

I said coldly, “If you want to make me happy, fuck me.”

He shook his head, lifting his head from the nook of my neck to glare down at me once again. “I will, love.” There was a darkness to his tone that gave me chills. “As soon as you’re legally my wife, I will.”

I stared up at him in defiance. “I think you should get off me now. I want to go inside and take a shower where I can wash you from my body - and then I want to go to sleep.”

“You’re angry.” He nodded. “But you’ll never wash me from your body, love. You can try, but I’ll always be there.”

I pressed my hands to his shoulders. “Get off!”

He pushed his still solid length against my core and I gasped, instantly aroused, and instantly angry for his action. My mouth opened to tell him off, but he caught my chin in his hand. “Don’t pretend you don’t want me, Nova.” He growled. “Don’t think for even a moment, that because I won’t fuck you, that I won’t take your pleasure in other ways.”

“Don’t do this.” I shook my head, feeling exhausted and confused. “I’m tired.”

“Have you forgotten that I know your body better than you know it, Nova?” He asked darkly. “Have you forgotten the ways I can make you melt in my mouth - make you plead and moan beneath me? Have you forgotten?”

Images of his head between my legs flared in my mind and I blushed scarlet. “No.”

He lowered his face to mine until only an inch of space existed between us. “Don’t think, that because my dick is hard for you, and I want to make you happy, that I don’t have complete fucking control of you. Don’t allow yourself, for a fucking minute, to entertain the illusion that you have power over me. You don’t.” Tears filled my eyes - but in this minute, he was immune to their glistening. “In four days you will be my wife. In four days I will fuck you senseless - I will have your body in every way that I’ve wanted it for two fucking years and you will accept me, love, because if you don’t, you’ll fucking regret it.” His tone was so cold that I couldn’t stop myself from shivering beneath him. “Do you understand?”

“Yes.” I whispered. “I understand.”

And I did. I understood his words, but what I didn’t understand was how he could wear the face of someone my heart was convinced I could love and then transform so quickly into a monster I could do nothing but loathe. It was this Calix that made me feel hopeless. It was this Calix that broke my heart and ruined my fantasies that maybe something beautiful could bloom from within this very horrible situation I was trapped in.