Bound by Honor Bound by Love (15 page)

Citlali’s gaze went to Chogan as he
disappeared into the darkness. Chogan was happy. Julia was happy.
Woape was happy. Gary was happy. Onawa’s father was happy with
Julia’s aunt. He returned his attention to the fire and wrapped the
robe tighter around his body. He’d like for Onawa to be happy, and
if possible, he’d like to be happy, too. He just didn’t know how
that was going to happen.

***

Onawa couldn’t believe it. Citlali
left without saying a word to her. Granted, he hadn’t said a word
to anyone else either, but word had spread quickly through the
tribe that he left right after striking Chogan. She wondered what
Chogan said to him to make him angry enough to do that. In all the
time she’d known him, he’d never acted out in such a way. As she
thought about it, he never showed any emotions.

She sat in Citlali’s lodge, not
listening to what the others around her were saying. They were
talking about Citlali, of course, and the events that transpired.
Citlali’s mother and aunts were concerned but also relieved that
Chogan had come by for Citlali’s things and would see to it that
Citlali had them. Even if the days were warm, the nights were still
too cool to sleep without something to warm him up.

As they continued to talk about the
day’s events, she was beginning to feel sick to her stomach. In all
the excitement, she’d forgotten to take some ground ginger to ease
the nausea that came with expecting a child. Before the sickness
could get worse, she went to the room she and Citlali shared and
grabbed the sack of ginger from the small table. She dabbed it
under her tongue and sat on the bed while she waited for it to
work.

She glanced behind her, her gaze
resting on the side of the bed where Citlali slept. Except he
wouldn’t be sleeping here tonight, and who knew if he’d come back
to sleep here again. She brushed away the tear that trickled down
her cheek. Citlali hadn’t come for her to take her with him, and
that was the part that hurt the most. He didn’t care for her at
all. He married her because the chief wanted him to and did his
duty to make sure another Mandan child would be born in the
tribe.

She leaned forward and rested her
forehead on her knees. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to
throw up. She needed to relax. Even as the stark reality of her
marriage came crashing down upon her, she needed to keep her
strength up. This wasn’t just Citlali’s baby; it was hers, too. She
needed to think of what was best for the child. Days of hoping for
Citlali’s love were over. There was no point in pining for someone
who didn’t want her. He’d made it very clear that day how he
felt.

From this point, she needed to do what
was best for her and the baby. She squeezed her eyes and fought
back the rest of her tears. She didn’t want to cry over him. She
was tired of caring about him and what he wanted her to do or not
do. She’d played the devoted wife, even willing to stay with him
when he stood by the chief’s decision to force people she loved out
of the tribe.

As she thought of Woape, Gary, her
nieces, her father, Erin, Julia, and Chogan, her tears dried up and
an unfamiliar determined resolve came over her. She couldn’t recall
a time when she felt her heart harden toward anything or anyone,
but as she thought of all she’d been willing to give up to be with
Citlali, a bitterness started seeping in. He would never give up
anyone or anything to be with her. All along, she’d been the one to
go along with him and whatever he wanted. She’d done everything she
could think of to make him happy. But when she asked him to let her
family stay in the tribe, he wouldn’t do it. And now he’d run off
without her.

She straightened up and took a deep
cleansing breath. She didn’t need to stay here. There was no reason
to wait for him. Her fears had proven true. She meant nothing to
him. She was merely a means to an end. But as much as he and the
chief wanted to control her, she wouldn’t let them. Her child
wouldn’t be controlled either. She knew the tribal customs, and
they couldn’t tell her what she could or couldn’t do with her
child. She refused to let her child grow up the way Citlali turned
out to be. She would teach her child to care about people—not based
on the color of their skin but on their compassion for
others.

Decision made, she stood up and
collected her things. Her child would be free to make his own
choices. No chief would tell him what to do. If he wanted to marry
a white person, he could, and she’d be there to support him. If he
wanted to marry another Mandan, she’d let him do that, too. And if
the chief and Citlali were determined to force everyone out who was
sympathetic to the white man, then that meant she and her child
would be leaving. She refused to live under their laws
anymore.

She picked up her leather travel bag.
Straightening her back, she left the room and walked over to
Citlali’s family. They’d always been kind to her, and they deserved
to know the truth. She wouldn’t leave without telling them, which
was more than what Citlali had done for her.

She cleared her throat and waited
until they looked in her direction before she spoke. “I’m returning
to my lodge.” Noting the mixture of worry and shock on their faces,
she added, “I’m sorry.” Then, so no one would talk her out of it,
she ran out of the lodge.

Chapter Twelve

“
I’m leaving with my
children,” Cole told the Mandan who stood in front of the tribal
entrance. He glanced at a scared Penelope and their two children
who huddled next to her. Turning back to the tall Indian, he added,
“Please step aside so we can go.”

“
I can’t.” He crossed his
arms. “I am under the chief’s orders, and he has forbidden you to
take Etu and Yepa out of the tribe. You and your wife may leave,
but Motega and Takchawee’s children stay.”

Cole gritted his teeth. “Motega and
Takchawee’s children? They aren’t Motega and Takchawee’s children.
They’re Penelope’s and my children!”

“
That is how you see
it.”

“
That’s how it
is!”

“
Papa,” Etu cried as he ran
over to Cole and held his arms out to him.

Cole lifted him and glared at the
Mandan. “See what I mean? He’s my child. Yepa’s also my
child.”

Penelope lifted her up, and she
wrapped her arms around Penelope’s neck. “Cole…” Penelope shot him
a worried look that tore through his heart.

“
I must obey the chief. I
am sorry,” the Mandan said.

“
We don’t have to obey the
chief,” Cole replied. “We’re not under his authority.”

He made a move to shove past the
intimidating man, but the man blocked him once again. “You are not
on white man’s land. You are on Mandan land. You will abide by
Mandan laws here.”

Cole’s face turned red. “And if I
don’t?”

By now a group of Mandans had gathered
around them, watching the exchange and whispering amongst
themselves. Cole didn’t care. Let them watch. He refused to back
down. Maybe that’s what they needed to see. Maybe they needed to
know that not everyone was going to do whatever the chief wanted.
Maybe then they’d have enough courage to stand up for their
rights.

The Mandan pulled himself to his full
height and looked down at Cole. “That’s not an option. While you’re
in the tribe, the chief must be obeyed.”

“
Not by me.”

“
White man’s laws don’t
work here.”

Another Mandan made a move to take the
children, so Cole pulled out his gun. As he hoped, the Mandans
backed up. Good. He glanced at Penelope who had tears in her eyes.
Etu and Yepa were openly crying and begged Cole to take them home,
and he knew they meant the home he and Penelope belonged to—not the
home the chief wanted them to be at in this tribe. He steeled his
determination and tightened his grip on the gun. He had every right
to keep his family together. No one was going to tell him that he
couldn’t have children who were Indian.

“
Put that thing down,” the
Mandan insisted.

“
I’ll put it down once my
family and I are heading back home. Until then, you have to deal
with it.” Cole glared at him. “Now move.”

He pulled out a knife and met Cole’s
eyes. “I don’t want to fight.”

“
Neither do I.”

“
Then take the children to
their lodge.”

Someone moved toward Yepa and tried to
remove her from Penelope’s arms. Without thinking, Cole shot the
Mandan. He didn’t know where the bullet went, but he grabbed
Penelope’s hand and pushed past the man standing guard at the
entrance of the tribe. He and Penelope ran as fast as they could
toward a wagon before an arrow pierced his shoulder.

Grunting, he stumbled forward and
tripped over a large rock in his path. Still holding onto Etu, he
rolled onto his back so the boy wouldn’t suffer from the brunt of
the fall. A couple Mandan males caught up to them and pinned Cole
down. He fired another shot in an effort to get them away from him,
but one of the men took the gun out of his hand.

“
Get your hands off my
children,” Cole snapped, swinging his fist at them in an effort to
get them to back off.

But it was useless. There were too
many of them, and before he knew it, they were hauling Etu and Yepa
away from him and Penelope. Penelope let out a bitter wail and
rushed for them, but two men held her back. Cole knew it was
pointless to fight anymore, so he didn’t make a move. One of the
men grabbed him by the elbow and brought him to his feet. Cole
winced at the pain jabbing his shoulder.

“
The medicine man will
remove the arrow and heal your wound,” the man told him, his grip
hard on his elbow. “Too bad I can’t say the same for the man you
shot. He’s dead. You’re not going anywhere until we decide what to
do with you.”

Cole winced. He hadn’t meant to kill
anyone. He just wanted to get his family safely away from them.
“I’m sorry.”

The man ignored him but continued to
lead him to the medicine man’s lodge.

***

Onawa looked up from where she was
helping Woape finish her quilt. She didn’t want her sister to
finish it because once it was complete, Woape and her family would
leave the tribe. Onawa brushed a tear from her eye.

Her life was a mess. First, she
learned that Citlali didn’t love her as she thought he did. Second,
she left his lodge, thereby divorcing him. It’d been the most
painful decision she’d ever made, but how could she remain in his
lodge knowing how little he valued her? She brushed another tear
from her eye. Third, with the exception of her good friend Amata
and her aunts, everyone she was closest to was leaving the tribe by
the end of the month.

How ironic that earlier that year,
she’d been so happy she couldn’t think her life could be any more
perfect. The elation she’d experienced the day after she got
married was a bitter reminder of how wrong she’d been about
Citlali. He not only didn’t love her but he was willing to break
her heart further by aiding the chief in forcing her loved ones to
leave.

Even now from where her father talked
to Erin on the other side of the fire pit, they were making plans
to marry and live in a cabin Chogan and Gary were building for
them.

“
Are you sure you’d rather
be here than with Citlali?” Woape asked in a low voice so the
others wouldn’t overhear.

After a long moment to think it
through, Onawa whispered, “Yes. There is nothing for me with
him.”

Woape stopped sewing and placed her
side of the quilt in her lap. Onawa refused to look at her. She
already knew what the thoughtful expression on Woape’s face meant.
It meant she was about to take Citlali’s side.

“
Please don’t,” Onawa said
before her sister could speak.

“
Don’t what?”

“
You know very well what. I
don’t want you to tell me I should talk to Citlali. There’s no
point in talking to him. He left the tribe without telling me where
he was going or asking if I wanted to go along,” and she would have
if he’d asked, “and even if he just came back, I have nothing to
say to him.”

Blinking back more tears, she focused
on the quilt in front of her, still refusing to look at
Woape.

Finally, Woape ventured, “If you’re
insistent that you won’t return to Citlali, then maybe you should
leave with us.”

“
Leave with
you?”

“
That is unless you’d
rather stay here with our aunts. You also have Amata to stay
for.”

Onawa bit her lower lip and glanced at
Woape, her father, and her nieces. “Where would I stay?”

“
With me and Gary, of
course.”

She glanced at their aunts. One of
them was due to marry in a month, and the man she was betrothed to
was noted for being a good hunter.

As if she could read her mind, Woape
added, “Not only will our aunt marry soon, but our brother’s wife
has agreed to move with him back here in this lodge. Our aunts will
get along fine without us.”

Onawa turned her gaze back to her
sister and nodded. “I’d like to. But are you sure it wouldn’t be an
imposition?”