Breaking Through (The Breaking Series Book 3) (26 page)

I shook my head.

Gui:
Pretty please.

I smiled and looked again at him. This time, his eyes were pleading.

“Hil?” Hannah called me, snapping my attention back to Bia and her. “What is it?”

“Are you coming or not?”

I took a deep breath and, even though I was shaking from head to toe, I said, “Yes. I’ll go to the club with you.”

***

I rode to the club with Leo and Hannah, but right after Leo parked and we exited his Grand Cherokee, Gui was by my side, walking with me toward the entrance.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low.

“No,” I confessed. I still shook so much I thought I would miss a step and fall flat on my face.

He inched closer to me, as much as he could without holding my hand like the other couples in our party were doing.

“I’m right here.”

I nodded, focusing on each step I had to take. However, each step became harder, heavier, and made me shake even more.

In front of the club, I paused and took a deep breath. Oh my gosh, I was doing this. I couldn’t do this. I would freak out. I was already freaking out. What if—?

Gui’s hand closed around my upper arm. “Hey.” I looked at him. There was concern in his furrowed brow and hard jaw. “Whatever is going on inside that head of yours, shut it out. Focus on us, your family and friends. You’re here with us and only us.”

I nodded, keeping his words front and center in my mind.

I am here with family and friends. They won’t let anything happen to me. I am fine.

I exhaled and let Gui, who was still holding my arm, guide me toward the VIP line. Five minutes later, we were inside the club, walking in a line to wherever Ri was taking us. The music blared from speakers, bouncing inside my head, and the lights flashed, all colors swirling in the dark, making me a little dizzy. At least, Hannah was in front of me, and Gui was behind me, his hand resting on my back, giving me strength while I stared at my sister’s head.

We went up a flight of wide concrete stairs lined with red carpet to a balcony that overlooked the dance floor. Several rooms were separated by waist-high walls made of reddish brick and glass, and leather sofas, chairs, and low tables filled the spaces. Ri took us to one of the largest of the VIP areas, and I let out a long breath once we all had made it safe inside.

Anyone who looked at me would think I had just walked through a war zone, because it was a war zone to me. As everyone got settled on the sofa or ordered drinks, I approached the silver railing and looked over the balcony to the dance floor, the DJ standing in the center, the tables and chairs around the room, and to the bar. Everywhere, guys flirted with girls; men hit on women. Couples—new or old—kissed. This, clubbing, was all a game to see who would end up with whom, even if for a night. I didn’t understand why my sister and our friends liked clubbing so much. I remembered dreaming about clubbing because I was young and single, and I wanted to flirt and be watched and desired. I wanted to find a guy to love, to love me, and what better way than a nightclub? That was my sixteen-year-old train of thought. At that age, I couldn’t get into clubs so I did all that at the parties my friends threw. But what about Hannah and the others? They were all couples. They didn’t need to find someone to love—well, except for Gui.

“Here,” Gui said, standing by my side and handing me a glass with ice. I stared at it. “It’s only coke.”

“Thanks.” I took it and the liquid sloshed to the rim. My hands still shook.

Gui glanced to my hands then looked into my eyes. “You’re fine here, okay? We’re inside this area and nobody will come in here uninvited.”

Didn’t he know that meant nothing to me? Eric had been Hannah’s boyfriend for two years before he started getting impossibly possessive and violent. He had been a part of the family. My father had loved him and welcomed him like a son. One thing I learned was that we never really knew anyone. A person could be one thing in front of us, and then completely different behind our backs.

Before I dropped it or spilled it, I set my glass on an end table to my right and returned my attention to the dance floor. Maybe, if I stared at the place and the people long enough, I would get used to it.

I doubted it.

With a deep breath, I sat down on the sofa beside Leo. Maybe if I stayed right here, immobile, time would pass. I wouldn’t see anything, feel anything, and then it would be time to leave and I would go back to the safe haven of my bed.

Leo saluted me with his coke. “Kinda boring, isn’t it?”

Boring? No. Scary? Intense? Out of control? Yes.

“Don’t you like coming here?”

He wrinkled his nose. “I do, most of the time. But clubbing reminds me of a part of my past I want to forget.” When he was younger, Leo had a mishap on his path to being polo’s absolute leader. As a prodigy, he started playing at a young age and ended up missing classes and failing most of them. Because of that, his father forbade him to play tournaments until he finished high school. Jealous of seeing his brothers and cousin playing, Leo rebelled. He went down a dark path he wasn’t proud of. Thank goodness he came back around, and he always said part of it was because of his twin sister, his brothers, and his cousin, and the other part was because of Hannah. “Besides, everyone around me is drinking and I’m not, so that makes it even less fun.”

I picked up my glass of coke and raised it to him. “You’re not alone there.”

He smiled and clinked his glass on mine.

Shaking a tiny bit less, I took a sip from my drink and looked around. Hannah danced with Bia, Lauren, and Iris, while Ri and Pedro argued about polo—visible from their gestures. Garrett was focused on the plate of appetizers that had arrived, as if we didn’t have enough food before coming here, and Gui leaned against the rail, his back to the dance floor, his eyes on me.

“Ohmygosh!” a girl shrieked.

I knew that voice. My head snapped and I saw Megan standing outside our VIP area. Of course, Blaire and Andrea were with her.

With a wide smile, Hannah welcomed them in and offered them drinks.

Leo groaned when Hannah smiled at him and gestured for him to go stand with her and say hi to her friends. I held back a laugh as he stood and shot me a glare.

Bia took Leo’s place. “I don’t like them very much,” she said, her voice normal. How much could this girl drink before she was drunk?

“Why is that?”

“When we first arrived here, they were intent on getting with the guys.”

“What? I didn’t know about that.”

“Oh yeah. Megan and Leo kissed, and—”

I gasped. “No!”

“I’m serious!” Bia shook her head. “Blaire tried hooking up with Pedro, but he turned her down. And Andrea went after Gui.”

My heart skipped a beat and my throat felt dry. “And?”

“He didn’t give in right away, but I saw them together a couple of times last year. I think he slept with her once or twice.”

I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to fight back the bile rising in my throat. Despite myself, I glanced at Andrea, and she was staring at Gui. “What happened then?”

“I think he got tired of her. I’m not sure.” She paused. I shifted my gaze to Gui just in time to witness when his eyes left mine and went to Andrea. His lips pressed into a thin line and his jaw tensed. He nodded at her and she smiled at him, batting her eyelashes. Oh, crap. “You know how he is. He’s not the worst out there, but he certainly doesn’t seem to have any intention of settling down.”

Yes, I knew that. I just needed to be reminded of it. Repeatedly.

A couple of minutes passed and Bia stood to go dance in the middle of our room with Garrett. The rest of our group mingled. Then, on the prowl, Andrea walked up to Gui and leaned against the rail beside him.

I couldn’t hear them over the music, and I didn’t want to.

Gui glanced my way and heat overtook my cheeks. What the hell was I doing? I shouldn’t care.

I don’t care.

Averting my eyes, I twisted in my seat until I couldn’t see them anymore—unless I snapped my head back and I wouldn’t do that.

If I were more courageous, I would stand up and leave. But I wasn’t brave. I was a wimp. Standing up and leaving would mean I had to walk by all those people downstairs by myself and the thought of that made me almost as sick as watching Andrea flirting with Gui.

I didn’t allow myself to look back and find out if he was flirting back.

An eternity passed as our group continued being social, and all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never, ever leave again.

Why the hell had I come here?

It was all Gui’s fault. He had promised he wouldn’t leave me, that he would be by my side the entire time. And what was he doing now? Probably planning to leave with Andrea.

Surprising me, Gui sat down by my side. I gaped at him, then on instinct, looked for Andrea. She was back with Megan, Blaire, and Hannah, and her eyes were shooting daggers at Gui.

“I guess you know about Andrea,” he said.

I took a long breath and looked back at him. “I heard some things, yes.”

“I … there’s nothing going on with her. Not for almost a year now.”

Why was he telling me this? He had no obligations toward me. He could do whatever he wanted. The feelings inside my chest—jealousy and disappointment—were mine and mine alone. He didn’t need to know about them.

I forced a fake bravado. “It’s okay. You do whatever you want to.” He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at me, as if trying to spot my lie. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Before he could say anything else, I attempted to smile. “So, I guess I can scratch another item off my list.”

“Not yet.” He had a glass of water in his hand. I had noticed that he drank, but he kept pausing, drinking water or coke between each glass of whiskey.

“Why not?”

“You’re at a club, but you aren’t clubbing,” he said. I frowned at him, confused. Was he trying to trick me with a riddle or something? “You haven’t danced.”

I turned my gaze to the girls in our room. All of them dancing right there, including Megan, Blaire, and Andrea. This time, even Garrett and Ri had joined in, while Leo and Pedro hovered close by, pretending to dance.

“It seems a little weird to dance in here,” I said, gesturing to them.

He shook his head. “Not in here. That doesn’t count.”

I stared at him, his eyes serious. Understanding hit me and I gasped. “You want me to dance down there?” I pointed to the sea of people grinding their bodies together. His silence was a loud answer. I shook my head. “No way.”

“Why not?”

“Because …” My cheeks burned with embarrassment. Anger? Frustration? I wasn’t sure. “I just can’t.”

Gui reached over and held my hand between his. “I’ll go with you and I promise that I won’t let anything happen to you.” He kept saying that, and I wanted to believe it was true, that he could shield me from anything. “Have I ever done something for you to doubt me?” he asked. My thoughts flew to moments ago when he was talking to Andrea and jealousy flared in me. I had no right to be jealous. Besides, he had left her standing alone to sit by me.

“People will bump into me and I’ll freak out. I just know it.”

He squeezed my hand. “People bumping into you is part of clubbing. You have to let that happen sometime. What better time than now, when your family and friends are right here with you? While I’ll be right by your side the entire time?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

“I’ll give you a minute to let this sink in, but I’m not taking no for an answer. You’re here. You’re so close to getting this done, to overcoming this fear. I won’t let you go home with it half done.”

Gui was right. Damn, he was always right when it came to my fears. And he had helped me through so many of them. He had walked me through, held my hand, and never once came close to disappointing me. I was ninety-nine percent sure he wouldn’t disappoint me now—the other one percent was my insecurity talking—so why not trust him and let him guide me once more?

Before I gave in to my fear, I nodded. “Okay.”

He beamed at me for a second. Then he forced his expression to a blank state and stood, tugging my hand. “Let’s go, then.”

Taking a deep breath, I stood and my legs felt wobbly.

Nobody noticed as we slipped from the VIP room—except for Andrea—and descended the staircase to the first floor. The entire time, Gui kept me in front of him, his body a wall behind mine, even though we weren’t touching. Only his hand was firm on mine. Attentive, he extended his arms around me each time someone stepped back and almost bumped into me. So far, he kept me protected as he said he would.

Regardless of that, my hands sweated, my breathing came in hard gasps, and my heart beat so fast, I thought it would take flight and jump out my chest.

At the edge of the dance floor, I froze. Inches from my back, Gui leaned forward and slid his hands on my arms. “It’s all right, Hil. You can do this.”

I can do this.

People danced, smiled, screamed, twerked, kissed, grounded against each other as if they were ready to have sex, right there, right then. Some guys circled around groups of girls, waiting for the right moment to attack. Some girls looked eager to have the guys’ attention; some looked disgusted. All that mixed with the loud
tud tud
of the electronic song and the colored lights coming from all sides was enough to make me feel sick again.