Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties: Do Your Relationships Produce Bondage or Joy? (5 page)

I commented, “Yes, and it is highly unlikely that her children will be able to exercise a higher moral standard than that set by their mother.”

I was then struck by the thought that the spiritual children of a pastor, i.e. his congregation, will not normally be able to exceed his moral standards, either.

Likewise, when a man in a position of spiritual authority deviates from the truth of Scripture, he opens the door for his flock to be exposed to the same types of error he experiences. If he falls in a particular area of sin, those following him are also vulnerable to that same weakness or sin. This may be due to the soul-ties which can be formed between parishioners and pastor, or to a form of idolatry.

Actions speak louder than words; especially in the case of pastors. The world is little interested in hearing our theology;
they want to see our fruit!

When a pastor breaks his marriage vows, and divorces his wife, expect to see a flurry of divorces in that congregation. Lack of
faith for marriage
spreads through a congregation; then
divorce spirits
spread. The pastor has, at the very least, taught by his actions, that this command of the Lord’s is out of date, that it is not as important as has been thought in the past. Thus, the door is opened for the sheep to follow their shepherd into the same form of sin. I recognize that divorce is not the unpardonable sin, but it is frequently an unconfessed sin. This is probably because most women do not want to admit that their choice of husband was a mistake, lest that might somehow require them to return to the former husband whom they may still fear, or hate, or which might put them under judgment. Divorce, which God hates, needs to be confessed like any other sin.

If a pastor harbors erroneous attitudes, false beliefs, corrupted convictions, or distorted doctrines, the errors of these spirits can be transferred to the entire congregation. We are reminded of the warning from Ezekiel concerning the dangers of bonding with false shepherds:

Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds;
W
oe be to the shepherds of Israel
that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks? ... but ye feed not the flock. The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost...

Ezek. 34:2–4

In many churches today there is a failure to proclaim the word of God, and through the word of God, to demonstrate the power of God. This is usually a result of the pastor’s cowardice, and of his fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of loss of prestige, or fear of loss of members.

The Faith of the Pastor
Limits the Congregation

I have discovered another surprising truth: the faith of a congregation apparently cannot exceed that of the one in spiritual authority over them. This is why Paul encourages like-minded fellowship. If you are in a church that doesn’t believe in healing or deliverance, you will not be able to muster much faith for those benefits, even though you may intellectually believe completely in them. As an example, years ago, we had three men in our fellowship who believed God for the healing of their hernias. Their faith had been ignited in part by the testimony of a skeptic who’d been healed.

Jack, a man to whom I ministered more than twenty five years ago, was scheduled for a double hernia operation. The week before his surgery his friends coerced him into attending a service where I was praying for the sick. He came forward for prayer for his hernias, he related later, “sort of as a joke, not expecting anything to happen.” He was very surprised when all his pain left. And when he went the next day for a checkup, the doctor told him, “You no longer have any hernias!”

He was such a skeptic that he went to another doctor and paid for another complete examination which also showed that he no longer had either of the hernias. He came back the next week to the meeting where I was speaking and testified; “I came here last week as a skeptic and I’m still a skeptic, but I have had two different doctors tell me that the two hernias I had prayer for last week no longer exist.”

The three men from our weekly fellowship all began attending a local charismatic church on Sundays. The pastor of that church developed a hernia and had a surgical procedure to correct it. Within six months, each of the three men also had hernia surgeries. These men certainly did not sin, but apparently those who place themselves under a spiritual authority do not muster more faith than that possessed by the one to whom they submit themselves.

We have seen more serious types of problems develop among others whom we have referred to a certain local church, which formerly was charismatic in its orientation, but has since changed pastors and become virtually anti-charismatic in its theology. That church has since experienced an epidemic of various types of cancer, after losing a pastor to cancer. Subsequently, after a succeeding pastor committed suicide, numerous church members have been plagued by depression and suicidal thoughts.

Man and His Fellow Citizens

Positive bonds can develop between citizens of a particular region when they unite against some form of threat to the community. The citizens of the Allied countries during WWII made great sacrifices and joined together to help achieve victory over Fascism. Community organizations unite souls to combat a wide variety of evils: drugs, crime, and other forms of injustice. These bonds can lead to lasting friendships formed on common definitions of public good.

Sometimes this goes terribly wrong, however, when people unite to break God’s societal laws, as gangs, vigilantes, or mobs. There is tremendous potential power in the uniting of souls, either to bring life or death to a community.

Cultic Soul-Ties

Soul-ties normally exist within cultic organizations. A linking of the people occurs through mind-control usually in mutual allegiance to a cultic leader or to cultic beliefs and doctrines, such as white supremacy, or satanic beliefs.

Unfortunately, as we have previously demonstrated, some soul-ties are ungodly, unnatural and evil. A negative soul-tie is subtle, and like a cancer, grows slowly, undetected. If you never look in a mirror, you won’t discover the smudge of dirt on your face. The perfect law of liberty is the Word of God, the mirror to discover flaws that need correcting.

Satan, through a spirit of anti-Christ, has always fervently sought to draw man’s soul after himself, and he uses self-centered individuals, cults and gurus, and the occult. Man can literally sell his soul through a conscious pledge of allegiance to a satanic religion or its representatives. The fact that man may not fully believe in Satan’s reality and power does not prevent him from bonding his soul to the devil, through ungodly spiritual activity. There is no gray area of non-commitment. Man was created to be in relationship with the invisible, the spiritual, and has to make a conscious decision to unite his soul to Christ. That is the ultimate good soul-tie and by any standard the greatest one of all.

Witchcraft

An evil soul-tie is actually a form of witchcraft. Witchcraft is spiritual. It is essentially defined as one person’s control over another person.

For example, if I were exercising witchcraft on you, I would be attempting to get you to do my will by a power that is not the Holy Spirit. The power involved is, in the best light, a form of psychic or soulish power, and is at worst satanic or demonic. Satan is the author of bondages and loves to see people restricted, tormented, helpless or hopeless. This is the subtle form of witchcraft or control practiced by one person over another.

Conscious Witchcraft

Overt witchcraft involves conscious awareness of what is being done. The source of the power is not of God but comes through an occult practitioner. The one practicing it is either himself a witch/warlock, or has employed the assistance of an actual practitioner of witchcraft to place the spell, or curse, upon the other party. There is no such thing as “white witchcraft,” there is only witchcraft.

In conjuring up such spells the practitioner may use personal items, such as hair or articles of clothing to work the spell. The spells have various effects: the individual may be unable to sleep, find himself tormented, unable to have financial success (losing jobs, etc.), unable to make friends, estranged from old friends, or unable to find any peace unless he returns to the person he or she has left. Such spells may have such wording as: “Bring Joe back to me; don’t ever let him be happy with anyone else! Don’t let him have any satisfaction until he returns. Make him come back! Give him trouble until he marries me!”

One of the most common characteristics of witchcraft is its emasculation of males. Witchcraft is traditionally matriarchal. The women wear the pants; the role of the man is either abdicated or usurped, resulting in his emasculation.

Unconscious Witchcraft

The person who simply “prays amiss” may be making the very same pronouncements, but is unaware that he or she is practicing unconscious witchcraft, and unaware that the power of Satan is being utilized. The person may not even believe in Satan or in witchcraft. However, the power is still the same.

A prayer uttered because of a need for revenge or control can create a source of harassment against the other person. If a soul-tie has existed between the two, this unconscious form of control or witchcraft practiced by one will continue to oppress the other.

Every prayer is heard, but the question is by whom? God does not honor prayers of revenge or manipulation — but we firmly believe Satan does. A believer praying in the wrong spirit can harm the other with subtle oppression. It is extremely important that we guard our prayers by praying according to the will of God. God has made it abundantly clear that we are allowed to pour out our complaints before Him, but we must divest ourselves of unforgiveness, resentment, and bitterness. A good way to pray concerning one who has offended you is:

Lord Jesus, I forgive their actions. Please draw them closer to You. If they refuse to respond to Your Spirit, then I release them to experience the consequences of their own delusions, in hope that they might again turn to you.”

Amen.

If Jesus forgave those who disregarded Him, then we should as well.

The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord.

Matt. 10:24

The concept of unconscious witchcraft, i.e. subtle control, is brought out forcefully in Jesus’ lament in Matthew 11:

But whereunto shall I liken this generation? It is like unto children sitting in the markets, and calling unto their fellows, And saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned unto you, and ye have not lamented. For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, He hath a devil. The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is justified of her children.

Matt. 11:16–19

The consideration here in Matthew 11 is not whether one fasted or ate, mourned or danced, but whether one followed the command of the leaders, those in control. Control was the real issue.

We tend to be the most vulnerable to those closest to us. We are rarely subject even to the subtle domination of a stranger. The key to avoiding such bondages is to know the truth about soul-ties and thus to be forewarned, and forearmed, to be able to willfully resist them.

Witchcraft can operate in one of two ways: through aggression (forcefully demanding submission to one’s will), and through weakness and need (submission through guilt). Either way, ungodly “strings” can become attached to one’s soul.

Controlling people are very selfish and want their needs met. This is the opposite of the Christian who is
to serve, like Jesus
, who came not to be served, but to serve.

Ye know that they that... rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them... But so
shall it not be among you
: but whosoever will be great among you... shall be servant of all.

Mark 10:42–44

The one attempting to control you or others around him usually is motivated himself by some type of fear, often a fear of rejection. This fear frequently is rooted in abandonment experienced during childhood. Thus the goal of the one who is abusing you is to exercise control over his circumstances so that no one can hurt or reject him again.

The need for love and acceptance is far too great for anyone to fill. Because it is often a void or need rooted in abandonment from childhood,
1
it can only be filled by the love of an earthly father or resolved by the supernatural ministry of the Spirit through lovingly administered deliverance.

Although the controlling person may be a professing Christian, he or she has not fully yielded to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit doesn’t coerce; He gently and lovingly leads, following the pattern set by the Good Shepherd.

Parents may attempt to manipulate married children into spending the holidays with them. The daughter for example may have to tell her mother that she has to go to her husband’s family for Christmas. The reaction may be quite emotional with tears and exclamations such as, “You don’t love us anymore!” Another response may be anger, which catches newlyweds by surprise. It may even include name calling or threats, implied or actually stated.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue...

Prov. 18:21a

Words can hurt, even when we are adults. Veiled or non-veiled threats can hurt. “If you don’t come here for Christmas, don’t bother coming back later.” “If you don’t come here for Thanksgiving, you’ll no longer be my son [or my daughter].” “Don’t expect me to help with your college bills any longer.” “If you don’t honor your family, you’ll never succeed.”

Another devious ploy is “giving the silent treatment;” to stop talking to the offending person, to cut off all communication. This is ungodly, and hurtful. A single strand of string won’t prevent you from pulling away, but if you allow someone to tie you with twelve strands of string, you are just as bound as if you had been bound with a twelve-stranded rope.

When you realize that there are “strings” attached to something that someone offers to you, or offers to do for you, this should cause an immediate check. The key to maintaining freedom is to resist the first string as soon as you discern it, even if it is only slightly restrictive of your freedom. There is an applicable principle in the Scriptures concerning spiritual warfare which I love to quote:

The roaring of the lion, and the voice of the fierce lion, and the teeth of the young lions,
are broken
.

Job 4:10

Many of us would feel inadequate to go up against a full-grown lion in his strength, but feel we could handle a young lion cub. We can kill the young lions, or
pull their teeth
. We can remove today the fangs that might later kill us, by dealing with them in advance.

The useful principle here is this:
fight the battle while your enemies are still small
; do not let your enemies grow up. Do not let them become strongly entrenched.

This is especially true in regard to ungodly soul-ties. If you begin to feel that there is something unhealthy about a relationship, nip it in the bud! Withdraw yourself, pull back to safety, and regroup. While involved in a controlling relationship, it is very difficult to even get a good perspective upon your own situation!

Christian Witchcraft
& Christian Soul-Ties

This may require explanation as the terms seem to be contradictory. Unfortunately, it is a reality. There is a form of witchcraft that exists within churches. Many churches have one family or one person who runs the show, who is the power behind the throne. He may be the individual who is most wealthy, or the largest contributor, who says, “I’ll buy the church a new organ,
but
we must have a new choir director,
first
!” “I’ll buy the new carpet,
but
it must be blue!”

These demands may seem relatively insignificant, but that individual has usurped the prerogative of either the pastor, or the church’s board, to vote upon such expenditures. These are obvious examples of control. More frequently, the control is subtle, being exercised merely as an opinion, “I don’t think Brother Jones is capable of handling the duties of a deacon.” However, that opinion carries the weight of the one who is the major financial supporter of the church, and carries an implied threat of “Take my opinion seriously, or run the risk of losing my support.”

Once such control begins, and is allowed to exist by either the church or the pastor, God is no longer in control of that church. Rather, the power-wielding individual is in control. Thus, the pastor and fellow members come into soul-bondage to the wealthy member.

Other soul bondages can develop within a church or group when one member seems more spiritual than others. If not carefully discerned, one’s prophetic “gift” may become a powerful source of manipulation and control.

Recently we have seen some in a Christian context abuse and control those under them, such as Jim Jones at Jonestown, David Koresch outside Waco, and the tragedy involving the Heaven’s Gate suicides. In these instances, the pastors involved apparently operated with a counterfeit anointing, or a demonic anointing, with which they held people under their spell.

Jim Jones started out with a mighty anointing of God upon his life. A fellow pastor told me that in the early days of his ministry, Jones had conducted a healing service in his church. At one point he walked up to a woman who had a large, purple cancerous growth upon her cheek and placed his handkerchief over the growth and it came off in the handkerchief. Unfortunately, the ability to work miracles does not preclude an individual from misusing his or her gift to control the lives of others. Such subtle witchcraft is surely “lawlessness” in God’s eyes.

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Matt. 7:21–23

Control Attempted Through Prophecy

Another case of attempted control, which I encountered personally, came in connection with a prophecy. At the close of a large charismatic meeting in the early seventies, a man I did not know came to me and announced with great excitement, “My wife received a prophecy during tonight’s meeting. The Lord told her that ‘If you and I go into the book business together, He would bless us with tremendous success!’ What do you think of that?” He asked, breathless with excitement.

I should point out that at the time I was already in the book business, he was not.

I responded bluntly, “Brother, I don’t witness to it, for three reasons. My first check is: if it was a valid prophecy, then why didn’t your wife give it publicly and let the Body judge it, as the Scripture instructs, (
Let the prophets speak two or three and let the other judge
. [1 Cor. 14:29]). Secondly, since I am already in the business, it would have been more logical for the Lord to give me the message about taking you on as a partner. Third, I have absolutely no agreement in my spirit with the prophecy. I believe that if God had indeed spoken that message to your wife, then He would have prepared agreement, or receptivity, in my heart to receive His message. Since there is none, I must assume that it was not from Him.”

Needless to say, the young man did not agree with my assessment and stomped off in a huff.

I do not believe this was necessarily a demonically-inspired message. There are three possible sources of prophecy: the Holy Spirit, an evil spirit, or a misguided human spirit. This was, I suspect, simply the fruit of the woman’s own desire to be involved in a Christian business and ministry. It came from
her head
, rather than from the Holy Spirit, for at least the reasons outlined above.

Prophecy can easily be misused to place someone in bondage to “a prophet.” A true prophet of God will strive to prevent people from becoming dependent upon him! (see Acts 14:14).

Many Christians are so hungry for a true word from God that they will follow willingly after prophets, due to their desire to hear a private word. There are some ministries which are built upon the practice of giving personal words of prophecy.

Although it is certainly true that God does, upon occasion, speak words of direction to individuals, much of this seeking is misdirected. In some cases, it reflects laziness or an unwillingness to put forth enough effort to seek God personally. Such seeking can also have a selfish motivation, which added to the expectation of receiving personal direction, makes the hearer extremely vulnerable to abuses of prophecy, control, and a soul-tie to the “prophet.”

Another form of self-elevation which leads to soul-ties of control and dependency is often found among leaders of cults, and even some churches (large or small). The source of control is having the latest, unique “revelation.” God certainly grants revelations in his Word, to His people, to His servants, and to His teachers. However, those revelations are also confirmable, or verifiable, to any believer by simply checking the Scriptures.

...no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.

2 Pet. 1:20

It is the anxious individual who constantly feels the need to know the future who most often forms unhealthy soul-ties with fortune-tellers and prophets.

As we have seen, God intended man to experience a oneness not only with Himself, but also with his fellow man. In this we may enjoy His blessings and the world may recognize His working.

That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

John 17:21

However, as is the case with all of God’s plans, Satan brings his own perversions and counterfeits to bear, in an attempt not only to damage our souls, but also to harm others with a ripple effect.

In the following chapter, we will see how these counterfeits may enter our lives.

First, consider the contrasts between the righteous and unrighteous effects of good and evil soul-ties indicated in the chart on the two following pages.

The following chart summarizes

at a glance the resulting effects of

both healthy and unhealthy soul types.