Broken (6 page)

“
C
ome on
, Aunt Bella! I want to get there in time to bob for apples!” Ethan demanded in typical seven year old style Saturday afternoon. It was time for the Harvest Festival, and he wasn’t going to be late.

“I’m coming, buddy. Chill out!” she said as she messed with her hair. She hadn’t worn it down since arriving in Madison Falls, but it was getting cold out and her ponytail wouldn’t do anymore. Wearing an emerald green, form-fitting sweater and jeans, Bella fit right into the mountain town. Thankfully, she wasn’t much bigger than Lori, so raiding her modest closet was a godsend. Bella was bigger up top, but a boob job was the reason for that. Her former job required her to look perkier than the average woman, and surgery was the only way to accomplish that. As she slid on her cowboy boots, she realized that she’d finally settled into mountain life.

Bella grabbed a coat for herself and for Ethan and opened the front door. She almost screamed when she saw Grant standing right in her face.

“You scared me to death!” she yelled, holding her chest.

“Sorry. I was about to ring the bell,” he said, laughing. His eyes went from her boots all the way up to her ample blond hair. “Wow…”

“What?” she asked as Ethan pushed past them and ran outside to climb the tree in their front yard.

“You look fantastic. I like your hair like that,” he said, reaching out and touching it. She froze in place in an effort to stay unaffected. It didn’t work.

“Thanks,” she said as she turned and pulled the door shut behind her. “What’re you doing here?”

“Aren’t you going to the Harvest Festival?”

“Yes, but I didn’t tell you that, Grant,” she said, smirking.

“Well, in this economy, it seems smarter to carpool whenever possible, don’t ya think?” he asked. She shook her head and laughed, knowing that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. With that, she and Ethan got into his car.

T
he town square
was lit up unlike anything Bella had ever seen. There were hundreds of people walking up and down the sidewalks. Country music mixed with Christmas music blared from big speakers under the pavilion where people were dancing. Ethan immediately gravitated to the apple bobbing station where he saw Howie and his mother, Sharon. As if on cue, Sharon offered to take Ethan off her hands for a while, and Bella was left alone with Grant.

They walked slowly around the square, chatting about random things. Hands firmly in her pockets, Bella vowed not to reveal any more about her past for fear that she might slip up and say something that would lead Grant to know about her porn history.

“So, what are your plans for Thanksgiving?” he asked.

“No plans. I figure I’ll try to cook something for me and Ethan maybe.”

“What’d you do out in California when Thanksgiving came around?” he asked as they stopped in front of a table with apple cider on it. He took two and handed one to Bella. The warmth was just what she needed on the cold autumn evening.

“Well, I’d usually eat a TV dinner.” As soon as she’d said it, she was sorry.

“Seriously? Why?” he asked, stopping and sitting down on a rock wall.

“No family. I think we’ve covered that, Grant.”

“What about friends?”

“I had a few friends, but I’m not one who likes to be at big family events.”

“Because you didn’t have that family experience of your own?” She could tell he was really trying to understand her.

“I guess so. I tried once or twice to hang out with friends and their families, but it always felt uncomfortable to me. I felt judged…” As soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted to reel them back in.

“Judged? For what?” he asked in confusion.

“You know, this poor girl who lost her mom at eight years old and grew up in foster care…”

“You should never be judged for that, Bella. You couldn’t help that. I think you’re too hard on yourself.”

“Oh, really? I don’t think I’m hard enough on myself.”

“Why do you want to punish yourself?” he asked.

“Who says I’m punishing myself?” It was getting way too real for Bella.

“It’s obvious, Bella. You deserve good things. A good life. People who love you…”

“I’ve made some big mistakes in my life, Grant. You have no idea who you’re talking to. I don’t deserve nearly as much as you think.”

“Have you murdered someone?”

“Of course not.”

“Stolen?”

“Nope.”

“Then you deserve whatever kind of second chance you need. End of story. Now come on…” he said as he took her empty cup and threw it away. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her down the sidewalk and into the pavilion that was blaring with music. Without warning, Grant pulled her close and started dancing with her. Thankfully, the music was fast, and she was a pretty good dancer. They laughed as they danced, and for once Bella felt like her real world was miles away.

While they were dancing, Sharon came to ask if Ethan could spend the night. He and Howie wanted to leave already and go to the diner for dinner. Reluctantly, Bella agreed. She knew that meant she was on her own with Grant. She kissed Ethan goodbye just as the song changed to Garth Brooks’ “The Dance”.

As she turned to walk off the dance floor, Grant reached down and lightly took her hand, pulling her close. He slid his hands around her waist and started swaying to the music. Everything in her said to run, but she couldn’t. It was at that point that she realized she was in trouble. Big trouble.

She slowly slid her hands up his firm chest and around his neck. She could feel every inch of him pressed against her, and it ignited feelings in her that she never could have imagined. His eyes pierced through her as she broke his gaze and put her head against his chest. Grant’s heart was beating hard and fast, and she was thankful that he couldn’t feel the erratic way hers was beating.

Bella had never felt so safe, so secure, so wanted. She didn’t know what to do with any of those emotions, and with her ADD-addled mind, she felt like a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. Why couldn’t she just let go and be at peace for a few minutes? Why did security and kindness feel more dangerous to her than abuse?

“Bella?” he whispered into her ear. She could feel the heat of his breath against her ear, and it sent shockwaves through her body.

“Yes?”

“You okay?” he asked. Just the fact that he asked made her want to cry. What was he doing to her?

“I’m okay,” she said softly without looking up. Instead of taking her word for it, he reached in and tipped her chin up with his finger. Looking her in the eyes, he leaned in slowly and kissed her gently on her forehead as if she was glass that might shatter into a million pieces if he touched her too hard. She smiled up at him, unable to say thank you with words. She wanted to thank him for every single moment he’d spent with her, and she wanted to tell him that he had been her saving grace - the thing that kept her sane since losing Lori and becoming a stand-in mother to Ethan. Instead, she put her cheek back on his chest and absorbed the masculine scent of his cologne as if she was transporting herself to another world a million miles away.

When the song was over, the speakers blared “Joy to the World” and ruined the romantic mood. Laughing, they walked out from under the pavilion, but Grant didn’t release Bella’s hand as they walked toward the truck. As he opened the door for her, she went up on her tip toes and kissed his cheek softly.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“Just for being you,” she said as she slid into the vehicle and buckled up.

A few minutes later, they were in Bella’s driveway. The thought of going into her house alone was daunting to her. She’d gotten used to Ethan being there, and there would be a void tonight.

“Would you like to come in?” she asked, surprising the hell out of Grant.

“You want me to come in?” he asked in complete shock.

“Well, I need a favor, actually.”

“A favor?” he said, squinting his eyes.

“You’re going to laugh, but Lori’s mattress is kind of worn out. She must have slept in the middle, and I sort of slide into this canyon every night.” By this time, Grant was chuckling at her description. “Anyway, I tried to flip the mattress the other day and almost threw my back out!”

“Ah, I see. So you want me to help you flip your mattress?” he asked.

“Yes. If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all. But, I will warn you that if this is a ploy to get me into your bedroom, it might work,” he said, poking her in the side as he got out of the car. Before she could get out, he was right there opening her door. Oh, how she was starting to love chivalry.

Bella unlocked the front door and turned on a lamp in the living room. Lori’s house was very modest with just two bedrooms and one bathroom, but it was plenty of room for her and Ethan.

“Come on in,” she said as she took off her coat and put her purse on the kitchen counter. “Glass of wine or coffee?”

“Wine, of course,” he said as he walked around the living room looking at pictures of Lori and Ethan. “You and Lori looked a lot alike.”

“Yeah. We looked like our mother,” she said with heartache in her voice. “See this one? That’s the only one we had of our mother.” She pointed to a picture with Lori, Bella and a beautiful woman with waist length blond hair and stunning green eyes.

“She was a lovely woman. That explains your beauty,” he said, smiling over at her as she handed him a glass of wine. “Do you remember much about her?” he asked as he sat on an ottoman.

“Not a whole lot. Her name was Sarah. She had us very young, so she never went to college. When she died, she was working as a waitress and doing some side jobs as a house cleaner like Lori.”

“Any good memories?”

“A few. I remember that she loved Christmas time. She was all we had, but she made everything about Christmas special,” Bella looked off in the distance as if she was re-visiting that time in her life. “One thing I remember was that she loved to climb trees.”

“Climb trees?” he asked, laughing.

“Yep. Remember she was young, so she was still pretty spry. There was this huge tree over in Clayton Springs right by the river, and she would take us there every Saturday to climb it. It’s one of those big, old trees that’s been there over a hundred years. Wow, I can’t believe I just remembered that. I haven’t thought about it in years…”

“So you’re a tree climber, huh? I’ll have to remember that…” he said with a laugh.

“Ready to help me flip that mattress?” she asked, changing the subject from anything personal.

“Sure,” he said as he put his wine glass down on the coffee table.

They walked into Bella’s room, which was perfectly clean. If there was one thing she did inherit from her mother, it was her cleanliness.

“Do you even live in here?” he asked, looking around.

“Yes. Why?”

“It’s so… clean.”

“I don’t like chaos,” she said simply. “Okay, can you grab that side?”

They started to maneuver the enormous mattress. “Jeez! Where did Lori get this thing?” he asked as his face turned red. It was heavier than any mattress he’d flipped. Adding to that was the fact that the room was not very big, and the bed took up most of it.

“Hang on, let me try this…” Bella said, growling and turning red herself. As she maneuvered, she lost her footing and went over the mattress head first and toward Grant. Like a sliding board, she flew down his side and right into his lap as he hit the floor. Before they knew it, she was firmly laying on top of him as the mattress covered both of their lower bodies.

“Yeah, that didn’t work,” he said, grinning. She was so amused, all she could do was press her face into his chest and laugh. His hand came up and touched the back of her head as she raised her face to look at him.

“Are you okay? Did you hit your head?” she asked.

“I’m great,” he whispered as he pulled her face in and kissed her nose.

“Why did you do that?” she asked, fully understanding that they were still pinned by a mattress.

“Because I know you, Bella. You need time. So, I started with your forehead, then your nose. Maybe one day I will get a chance at your beautiful lips,” he said with a smile as he let go of her head and kicked to free them of the mattress. She sat up as he pushed the mattress back onto the bed. “I think we need a new plan.”

“This room is just so small,” she said, getting to her feet. Hands on her hips, she stood there trying to figure out what to do next. “Maybe we could flip it up and lean it against the wall and then…” she started to explain. But Grant was mesmerized by her hair, her eyes and those unobtainable lips. “Earth to Grant…” she said, waving her hand in front of his face. This time, he blushed.

“Sorry. I was thinking…”

“About?”

“Nevermind. Not important,” he said, shaking his head.

They pushed the mattress against the wall, and Bella gasped.

“What’s wrong?” Grant asked.

“Lori’s journal,” Bella said reaching down and picking up a red leather notebook. “I bought her a new one every year. She always kept them. Since we were kids.”

“Oh, wow…” Grant said, eying Bella for a reaction. Instead, she just stood there rubbing the front cover of it with her thumb. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked as he backed toward the door.

“No! Please don’t.” She was surprised at just how much she wanted him to stay.

“Are you going to read it?” he asked.

“I think I need to. Maybe it will help me know what she wanted for Ethan…” Bella said as she walked back out into the living room. Grant quietly followed her and sat down on the sofa next to her as she opened the journal.

Grant left her alone while she stared at the pages of the journal. He didn’t want to pry or look over her shoulder, so he focused on his glass of wine, refilling hers a couple of times.

Suddenly, Bella broke down into sobs that she couldn’t control or stop. She dropped the journal onto the floor and put her face into her hands, unable to catch her breath.

“Bella, what’s wrong? Breathe, honey…” he said, trying to calm her down. “Can I get you some water?”