Broken (9 page)

For just one night, she allowed the warmth of his touch and the passion of his kisses to overwhelm her senses and guard her heart. She’d worry about everything else another day.

M
onday started
off like any other day, but Bella could not have known how her world in Madison Falls was about to be turned upside down. As she parked her car and headed into the school building after working a long day at the coffee shop, she looked around for Grant. He’d told her that he was staying for the last PTA meeting of the year so that he could present his ideas to parents for some changes to the physical fitness program.

She walked into the packed auditorium and searched for a seat. Finally, she found one right in the middle of the tenth row just in front of the stage. The principal started the meeting and introduced the PTA board members. As the gathering went on, Bella struggled to stay awake. Thankfully, Roslyn had offered to keep Ethan for a few hours after school so that Bella could go to the meeting. In reality, she knew Ros was matchmaking for her and Grant, but she really didn’t mind. Seeing Grant was becoming the highlight of every day.

Grant stepped up onto the stage to give his presentation, and Bella giggled to herself when she watched many of the mothers ogling him. He was sexy as hell, and she wanted to stand up and tell everyone how he’d found her a special tree. At least for a moment, she had Grant Brady’s attention, and she felt wanted.

“Good evening, parents and faculty. I’m Grant Brady, one of the teachers here. I’m also the physical education director for your kids. Let me start by saying…” Before Grant could finish his sentence, there was a commotion in the back of the room. Some man was yelling and walking up the aisle. Bella turned around with a look of horror on her face as she realized that Nathan had tracked her down. Now Sonya’s text message made more sense; she’d given him her new address.

“Oh, there she is!” Nathan yelled, pointing at Bella who was cowering in her seat covering her face. “Ladies and gentleman, I present to you Internet porn star, Desiree Drake!” he yelled with his yellow-toothed grin. Bella wanted to vomit as she stood up and tried to push past him. “Oh, no, Desiree… You’re not going anywhere. Is that your boyfriend up there? Hey, dude, did you know that she’s screwed dozens of guys for money? You can look her up online. Hell, I bet she’d do you right now for ten bucks!” he said, laughing. Bella could smell the alcohol on his breath as she tried to escape from his grip.

“Let me go!” she yelled as she tried to pull out of his grip.

Within seconds, Grant was by her side as his fist connected hard with Nathan’s jaw. Finally free, Bella ran as fast as she could out the back of the school and into the night while Grant continued to pummel Nathan’s face. When security finally intervened, Grant also ran out the back door of the school. Her car was still in the parking lot, but she was nowhere to be found.

Grant ran all over the school grounds looking for her, but he didn’t see anything. As he was walking back to his car, he thought he heard sobbing. He ran down the hill behind the school toward the high school campus and saw Bella sitting in the middle of the football field. She was a wreck, so he stood back for a moment before approaching her.

“Why, God? Why? I don’t understand!” she yelled as she sat on her knees and pounded her fists into the grass. “Why did you take Lori? Why the abuse? I’m so tired, God…” she sobbed. The sounds she was making were unlike anything Grant had ever heard. They sounded guttural, like she was crying from the depths of her soul for the years of torment she’d suffered. “I don’t understand, God. Please help me to understand why I’m being punished…” she said through the saddest tears he’d ever heard.

Grant walked to her slowly and knelt beside her, pulling her to him. She stared up at him with swollen red eyes as if she was shocked to see him.

“Bella, it’s okay, honey…” he said as he rocked her back and forth. “God isn’t punishing you…”

“Oh, Grant… Didn’t you hear Nathan? I’m a nasty porn star. Used up. Slut…” she mumbled as her sobs continued. She was shaking as her well-built walls crafted from years of physical and emotional abuse came crumbling down around her.

“Don’t say that! You’re not nasty or used up or a slut, Bella. You were an abused little girl trying to take care of her sister, and some sick and twisted people took advantage of you,” he said, rubbing her head.

“I don’t understand… Why don’t you seem surprised or upset?” she asked, looking at him with the most painful look he’d ever seen. All he wanted to do was wipe the memory of her agonized face out of his memory. He wanted to see her sweet smile again.

“I’ve known for a while now… about your past. Since we had dinner with my college friends. Red told me.”

“That’s why you argued with him and threw him against the wall?” she asked, putting her hand on her heart.

“Yes.”

“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry. See? I even ruined a friendship you’ve had since college. You must have been so embarrassed.”

“No, Bella. He ruined it. I wasn’t going to put up with what he said about you. Because I care about you. A lot…” Grant said, kissing the top of her head.

“But don’t you see that this can never work? People are always going to talk about me. It’s ruined Madison Falls for me now. I’m going to have to take Ethan to another school.”

“No, you won’t. We will work through this, Bella. I promise.”

“I’m not worth it, Grant. Poor Ethan is stuck with me by default, but you aren’t. Find someone worthy of you, because I’m not it.”

“Never say that to me again, okay? It’s a lie. You are so worth it, Bella. You’re worth every blade of grass on this football field. You’re worth every climbing tree in that forest over there. You’re worth every star in the sky. You
are
worth
everything
,” he said as he knelt between her legs facing her. “I love you, Bella. And I don’t care what anyone has to say about it,” he said as he pressed his lips to hers.

His words shocked her, but she couldn’t let on. “Well, I care,” she said as she pulled away from him and stood up. “I will not ruin your life, too. My life has been ruined since I was eight years old,” she said as she turned and started walking away.

“Your life is just beginning, Bella. You cannot allow these men who have used you all these years to win. You have a chance at happiness right now. With me,” he called to her.

“Let me ask you one thing, Grant,” she said as she stopped and turned around.

“Anything.”

“How could you ever be with me knowing how many guys I’ve been with in my short life? Guys who are on film kissing me and touching me and pressing themselves into me? I’m no different than a dirty prostitute, and a guy like you isn’t meant to be with a woman like me. You deserve better.”

“Have you ever made love with a man, Bella?” he asked.

“What? You know the answer to that, Grant.”

“Let me rephrase it then. I know you’ve had sex with men. That’s just a physical act. It means nothing. Monkeys and dogs do it, too. What I am asking is if you’ve ever made
love
with a man?”

Bella stood there for a moment before answering. “If you are asking me if I have ever slept with a man that I loved, then the answer is no.”

“Then that’s all I need to know, Bella. Everything else was just physical. No different than brushing your teeth. It doesn’t make me think of you as dirty or used up. All I know is that if you walk away from me now, I’ll never get over it, and I don’t think you will either.”

Bella stared at him for moment before running her fingers through her hair. “You’re an amazing man, Grant Brady,” she said with a half-hearted smile. “Either that, or you’re a glutton for punishment.”

“Maybe a little of both,” he said, smiling as he walked toward her. “I love you, Bella. The only question now is whether or not you love me enough to move forward. Do you love me enough to let me help you start over?”

“I do love you, Grant. It terrifies me to say it, but it terrifies me more to think that you would walk away from me.”

“I will never walk away from you, Bella. Never,” he said as he scooped her up in his arms and covered her mouth with his. Their tongues danced with the heat of passion as Bella struggled not to rip his shirt off right there on the football field. Of course, she knew that if anyone saw them, it would definitely play into the idea that she was a slut. “Bella?” he said after a few moments as he tried to catch his breath.

“Yes?” she answered with his lips reverberating against hers.

“We need to deal with a few things back up there,” he said, pointing at the school.

“Now?” she said in a whining tone as she pulled back from him.

“I think so, honey,” he said. “First, I’ll probably need to explain myself to the principal…”

“Why?”

“Because I clocked that guy several times in the jaw before security could get there.”

“Grant! Oh, gosh, I hope you don’t lose your job over this!”

He put his finger over her lips to quiet her. “Bella, listen to me. I’m a grown man capable of making my own decisions. I will protect those I love, and you and Ethan are at the top of that list now. You never have to worry about that jackass again, okay? Whatever it takes. You let me worry about it, okay?” Bella nodded. She had never had someone assure her like Grant did, and it just made her love him even more.

They held hands as they walked back up the hill and over to the elementary school. A crowd of people were gathered out front, and their faces were all focused on Bella holding Grant’s hand as they walked into the school. After a long talk with the principal and security, Grant drove them home and left Bella’s car in the parking lot.

Grant called Roslyn to see if Ethan could spend the night, which of course was perfectly fine. As they pulled into Grant’s driveway, Bella felt conflicted about the evening. A wonderful man that she could trust had professed his love to her, but she felt so guilty for keeping something from him that could end his career.

“Grant? Before we go in, I need to say something.”

“Okay. What is it?” he asked, smiling at her as he caressed her cheek.

“I need to apologize to you for keeping my recent past a secret. I just didn’t want you to look at me differently. I was hoping it would never come up.”

“Bella, it’s okay,” he said.

“No, it’s not. I knew I loved you, and yet I was willing to keep something so important from you. It’s just that I have never been in a real, loving, committed relationship, and I had no idea how to act. I’ve spent my whole life acting like a tough girl, but you made me feel vulnerable.”

“You’re right. People who are in love should never keep secrets. That’s why I brought you here to my house, Bella, because I’ve been keeping a big secret too. And I hope you don’t change your mind about me when I tell you,” he said taking a big breath in as he opened his door and came around to open hers. Bella didn’t say anything as he unlocked the door to the house and turned on the lights. She was more than terrified that he would tell her something so horrible she’d have no choice but to leave him already. Her stomach churned as he walked over to his desk and opened the drawer to retrieve some papers and an old newspaper.

“Grant, you’re scaring me,” she said softly as she stood across the living room looking at him.

“You might want to sit down,” he said. She sat on the sofa as he sat across from her on the coffee table. “I guess the best way to do this is just to let you look at it yourself.” He handed her the stack of papers, and she began to look through them. The first thing she noticed was that the newspaper was a story on her mother’s death. A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at the picture of her mother that was taken the Christmas before she was killed in the accident.

Next, she noticed some legal paperwork with Scott Crawford’s name on it. She looked up at Grant. “I don’t understand. Scott Crawford was the drunk driver who killed my mother. Why do you have this paperwork? What is this?”

“That is appeal paperwork from a case against him about four years ago.”

“Why do you have it?” she asked, cocking her head in confusion.

“Because he’s my brother.”

“What?” she asked as her mouth dropped open.

“Well, he’s my half-brother…”

“How could you keep that from me, Grant?” she asked before catching herself in the most hypocritical thing she’d ever said. “Sorry. I guess I have no room to talk.”

“No, you have every right to be mad, Bella. I just didn’t want to hurt you even more. I had no idea who you were when we first met, but when I saw a picture of your mother and put the pieces together, I realized that Scott was the driver.”

“Why do you have different last names?”

“Same mother, different fathers. He was raised by his Dad, though. We didn’t grow up together. Scott was always in trouble. He had a bad drinking problem as a teenager, and he was in and out of rehab, juvy, all of it. Finally, it culminated in your mother’s death. I’m so sorry, Bella,” he said hanging his head.

“Does Ros know?” she asked quietly.

“She does now. I told her a few days ago.”

“Does she know about my porn past too?”

“No, but I think we should tell her before she hears it through the grapevine.”

“Of course. So where is this Scott Crawford now? I mean, I know he’s not still in prison for my mother’s death.”

“He got out in his mid-twenties, but got into the wrong crowd and ended up driving the getaway car in a gas station robbery in Clayton Springs. He’s in prison again, this time for ten years. He sent me a copy of his appeal paperwork a couple of years ago asking for help to get out of it, but I refused because I know he did it. Bella, I’m sorry I kept it from you. I promise that I have no relationship with Scott, but I can tell you that he’s never been okay since he killed your mother. I don’t think he ever will be… The question is where does this leave us?”

Bella stood up and looked down at the man she loved as she took his hand and pulled him up to face her.

“I’ll tell you where this leaves us, Grant Brady. It leaves us as two flawed people who love each other so much that they will never keep a secret again,” she said as she went up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

“You forgive me?” he asked with his dimpled smile in full effect.