Broken Survivor (26 page)

“Yesss,” she hissed and hunched over when a particularly strong contraction hit. “We should get going real soon.”

Thankfully, his brother arrived about five minutes after he called them. It only took another ten minutes or so to get to triage, and a few minutes more to confirm and register for the delivery. Her new room was a little different from the last. The bed faced a different direction, and it seemed a bit smaller. Not that she cared much. “When can I get an epidural?”

Zander walked back in as she asked her doctor. “We’ve only been here forty-five minutes, Hol, I’m sure we’ve got lots of time.”

“I’ll have to disagree,” the doctor said. “When I last checked, you were close to nine centimeters dilated, and I imagine you’ll be pushing soon.”

Well, fuck me! Come on, kid, give Momma a break here. What’s the rush?

“Big mouth,” she growled, because at that moment her water broke and she could already feel him coming. Another contraction hit, and she pushed with all of her might. “
Argh!
”

“You’re doing well, give me another good one.”

She took a deep breath and pushed so hard she could feel her face flame. This natural shit hurt like a bitch.

“I can see his head, babe. He’s got more dark hair than Ashton did.”

“
Gah!
” She kept at it and could feel her infant slowly sliding out. Once the shoulders passed it was one more, and five minutes after starting, a brand-new cry filled the room.

“He’s got a good set of lungs.” Zander laughed and bent down to give her a kiss while they checked their baby out.

“I’m so tired. How is he?”

“He’s doing great, Mommy.” A nurse handed her a small bundle and laid him on her chest. “He’s a healthy six pounds, eleven ounces. Do you have a name?”

“Not yet.” She smiled when a tiny hand clasped her finger and tried to suck on it. Suddenly nobody mattered but this adorable piece of heaven on earth. “Do you have any ideas?”

“I figured I got to name Ashton, so this time I’d let you pick.” She looked up when Zander shrugged, and her heart expanded with ever-growing love.

“I was thinking Nolan Richard,
after your dad.”

“Nolan Richard Harrison?” He tested the name for himself and smiled. “I love it almost as much as I love you.”

Two days early at 4:10 a.m., their little bundle decided he couldn’t wait any longer to arrive. He did a number on Mommy, but the most important thing was that he arrived healthy and happy to expand their loving family. Holly had gone from having everything to absolutely nothing and now to having it all. They were blessed with two incredible sons.

“Ditto.”

***

August of 2007

“Aw shit, babe, I was so into it I forgot the condom.” Zander ran his hands through his thinning hair as if worried.

“That’s okay, I doubt I’ll get pregnant anyway. I don’t think I’m ovulating, and look how long it took us to conceive Nolan. We’ve been careful every other time, and I’m on the pill, remember?”

“Thank fucking God. Can you imagine having a third one so close to the second? He’s only seven months old, for Christ’s sakes.”

“Well, I doubt it. It’s a one-shot deal, so don’t worry about it.”

***

Boy was she ever wrong. She remembered that night clearly, it was that good. The week before she was sick as a dog and had to take special antibiotics. The kids were in bed and Zander was feeling frisky. He surprised her after she threw a load of laundry into the wash and took her right there on the table downstairs. It turned out that the antibiotics might have interfered with the birth control she was taking, and now she stood alone in the bathroom staring at another pregnancy test, with Hubby Dearest none the wiser. Nolan was down for a nap, and Ashton was at a play date across the street.

“Here goes nothing.”

After peeing on the stick she left it on the counter and fled, too afraid to look. For five minutes she continually paced and chewed on her nails.
Come on, Hol, pull up those big-girl panties again and look already. It is what it is. Too late to take it back now.

Without thinking further she opened the door, took a deep breath, and saw the result with mixed emotions. It was positive and unplanned. Feeling excited, and happy, she also was a little worried to spill the beans. How would Zander take it? She’d soon find out.

The phone rang, startling her, and she dropped the test before running into the other room to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe, whatcha doing?”

“Uh, nothing, why?”

“No reason. Can’t a man call and check on his family while he’s at work? What’s Nolan up to?”

“He’s napping.” She cleared her throat.

“What about Ash? How was his morning?”

“He was good.”

“Is everything okay? You sound funny.”

“Do I?” Her voice went squeaky before she cleared her throat. “I’m a little stressed, I guess.”

“About?”

“You promise you won’t get mad?” She cringed. This was Zander, for Christ’s sake. Why was she so nervous?

“Uh-oh.” He chuckled. “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”

“I hope not, but here goes, because you asked for it.” She sighed. “You remember that one-shot deal?”

“Y-yeah, why?”

“Well, those antibiotics tampered with the effects of my pill, and I’m late, and I’ve got symptoms…”

“Oh fuck me, no way,” he interrupted, but she continued on to get it out there.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what went down already. I took a test today, and it looks like you’re going to be a daddy for a third time.”

“C-come again?”

“I’m pregnant, Zander. Knocked up, preggo, got a bun in the oven…”

“Yeah, I heard you. We’ll talk when I get home.”
Click!

She stared at the receiver in shock, because for the first time ever he’d actually hung up on her.

Chapter Twenty
-
Three

“How was your day?”

“Not great.” He gave her a pointed stare.

“Wanna to talk about it?” His feelings had to get out at some point, and she was a bit taken aback by his attitude.

“No.” He brushed by her when his boots were off and went into the kitchen to the cheers of “Dad!” from Ashton. She watched him bend down and give both boys a kiss.

“We’ll have to at one point, you know?”

“Are you keeping it?” he asked, and her eyes bulged in surprise.

“It?” Okay, now she was starting to get mad. “Um, yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I thought we already discussed it. Nolan is still a baby himself, for Christ’s sake. Can we really afford another one right now?”

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” Her raised voice caught the attention of her oldest, so she lowered it. “I didn’t plan this either, but it’s obviously meant to be.”

“Right,” he snorted, and before he could say any more, the damn phone rang again, interrupting them. Zander reached for it.

“Hello!”

Still angry, she watched him through narrow eyes as he gripped the phone tightly. Whoever was on the other end, the conversation was a short one, and she could see his frustration dissipate and turn into a look of shock and then into one of worry when he hung up.

“What’s the matter?” She took a step forward out of concern.

“T-that was my mother. My dad had a heart attack, and they just got to the hospital. She’s a wreck. I gotta go.” His hands lifted and his fingers landed on his temples to massage them before he made a move to leave.

“Of course. Give her my love.”

He nodded and hurried to put on his shoes.

“And Zander?”

“What?” He turned around to look at her, gripping the open door tightly.

“I’m sorry about your dad.”

“Yeah, thanks!” She flinched when the door slammed shut, and her heart sank. If it wasn’t one thing it was another. Poor Richard.

“Hey, where is Dad going?” Ashton stood beside her in confusion.

“Me-mere needed him for something, but he’ll be back later.” She shuffled his hair. “Are you hungry?”

He nodded. “What’s a heart attack?”

“It’s when you’re heart gets sick, honey. Why?” She bit her lip to keep from crying.

“So Pappy’s sick?” His big brown eyes stared at her and he waited for an answer.

“Yes, I guess he is.” Good God, she loved her inquisitive child.

“Can you give him some medicine to get better?”

“No, Ashton, not this time.” She let out an unexpected laugh and guided him back to the kitchen. It was laugh or cry, and she didn’t want to do the latter in front of him. “I would if I could, honey. But you know what might help? Maybe tonight we could send out a prayer for him before bed.”

“Okay, Mom, if it’ll make him get better, I’ll pray real hard.” He ran to the fridge to grab a juice box.

“I’m sure Pappy and your dad would appreciate that very much.” She turned to the counter to grab two plates and quickly wiped the tear that slipped out. “Supper will be ready in just a minute.”

After the kids were fed and bathed, Nolan fell asleep quickly and she cuddled with Ashton in her room while they watched TV. It was lights-out for the two of them shortly after, and Zander was still not back. She tossed and turned most of the night with worry because of it.

***

Holly stood against the kitchen counter and took a sip of her morning orange juice. The sun had just finish rising, casting rays of yellow and orange in the clear sky, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. It looked as though it might be a warm, beautiful day, unlike the storm brewing inside of her. She wondered how Richard was and thought about Skye, the family, and her husband.

What was his problem anyway? It wasn’t like him.

Last time she’d checked, Zander was still sleeping soundly on the couch, and she didn’t know anything about the night before. They had a lot to talk about, but clearly it wasn’t the time. Having her father-in-law well again should be his number one priority. In the meantime, she’d be taking care of herself for the unborn child she carried and of course for her boys, who were her everything.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

She looked into the familiar, comforting brown eyes she’d learned to love long ago and shrugged. “I was just thinking about your parents.”
And the other stuff you’re being an ass about.
“How’s your dad doing?”

“Not good, but he’s stable.” He reached up to grab a mug, started the kettle for coffee, and stood beside her. “They did some testing while I was there, and they want to put a stent inside a couple of his blocked arteries to open them up. Surgery is tomorrow morning, I think.”

“Okay, so I’ll give Chrystal a call to see if she can watch the kids for a couple hours, and I’ll go with you then.”

He nodded, and she lost his eye contact when the kettle shrilled.

“Ash sent a prayer for him before he went to bed.”

“That’s my boy.” He gave her a half-smile, fixed his drink, and turned to leave. “I took the next couple of days off from work, so I’m gonna shower and probably head back for most of the day. I’ll see you later?” He stopped to look back at her.

“I’m taking the kids to the park this afternoon, but otherwise, we’ll be here.”
Call if you need me.
“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

***

The hospital had an inauspicious feel to it today with the neutral décor, the sterile scents, people walking in and out, and not to mention the sickness lingering from the patients admitted, and death. Speaking of which, a frail-looking woman passed by with a face mask and a bandana hiding her bald head. The poor woman was thin, gray-looking, and you could clearly tell she was losing her strength while family members wheeled her away in the other direction.

Holly shuddered. The only good thing about the place was the maternity ward, where life and new beginnings began. She rubbed her belly and looked Zander’s way. He was still pretty quiet, and she could tell everyone noticed the tension between them, or maybe she was just being paranoid.

This time they sat in a larger waiting room with various other families, because the minor operation would only take a couple of hours, and then he’d be in recovery. If all went well, Richard would be able to leave the next day.

“Is everything all right?”

“Peachy, thanks!” She gave her mother-in-law a hug. “How are you doing?”

“Better now that I know he’ll be coming home. It was pretty scary.”

“I bet.” Holly bit her lip, chanced a look in Zander’s direction again, and caught him staring. It didn’t last long before the contact was broken, and he started talking to Sebastien.

“So what’s going on with you and Alex?”

“Perceptive.” She sighed. “I’m not sure, really. It started with a bad day, I guess. Things he didn’t want to hear, and he was really worried about his father too. So I’d say it’s a combination of everything that’s getting to him. He hasn’t been very talkative, so you might want to ask him yourself.”

“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll both figure it out. At least Richard will be well soon, so that’s off the list.” Skye patted her hand and got up to push her son out of his seat beside his brother so he had no choice but to sit with her instead of across from her.

You clever old lady, you.
“You must be feeling relieved, huh?” she asked him.

“Yeah, I guess.” He rubbed a hand down his face and looked tired.

“Better be careful there. People are starting to notice the negative vibes coming off you toward me. Your mother just asked if there was something wrong. We might have to spill the baby beans before you’re ready.”

“I don’t have any vibes,” he growled. “What did you tell her?”

“That she should ask you. Are you really okay?” Holly sat up and linked their fingers together. He didn’t pull away, so at least that was a good sign.

“Yeah, it’s been a stressful couple of days, but I’ll be good.”

“I hope so. Are we going to be okay? I don’t understand what’s going through your head. We’re having another baby, Zander. You were so happy with the other two. It’s not the end of the world.” She kept her voice down so the others wouldn’t hear.

“I just figured we’d be done after two. You caught me off guard, and I worry money will be tight.” He looked around nervously, as if afraid to be overheard, and surprised her with a kiss. “We’ll figure it out, but can we talk about this later?”

“Sure, as long as you guarantee we will eventually.”

“You’re the best.” He nodded, and for the rest of the day the tension between them eased a little.

***

It was good while it lasted, but now she was hurt. Weeks had gone by, and they were somewhat good. Zander seemed much better, and everything was starting to get back to normal again at home. Or so she’d thought. There was still no baby talk, other than to let him know about this ultrasound appointment, but he was a no-show.

Nolan slept in the stroller beside her, the lights were dim, and what’s-her-face, the technician, took pictures and did her thing. Holly lay there looking at her little peanut on screen and let the tears flow. He was such an itty-bitty little thing. It was early yet, but she assumed it was probably another boy.

“Everything looks good. I’d say ten weeks with an estimated April 21 due date. Would you like a couple of pictures?”

“Y-yes, please.” She tried to smile but failed miserably at it. It only took another minute or so to take the pictures, and she was able to clean herself up and safely tuck them inside her purse.

***

Later that night, she became angry and was determined to sort this shit out. Enough was enough. He had a problem. Well, she was going to solve it. He may not like the outcome, though.

“Can you wipe his face and hands for me, please?”

Ashton sat quietly in the other room watching
Ben 10
on TV, and Nolan was in the highchair looking a little orange from the mushy carrots he’d just eaten. She started the dishes, and Zander sat down in front of their little one to wipe him up.

The appointment wasn’t mentioned, and thinking about it made her blood boil, so she took it out on the pots and pans she was scrubbing.

“Hey, scrub any harder and they won’t be any good,” he joked, and she purposely bit her tongue.
Now is not the time, Hol. Wait until the kids are in bed and then give it to him good.
Hell, he’d be lucky if she didn’t give him a beat down with the way she was feeling, or at least a smack upside the head.

“Forget it!” Holly threw the pot back into the water. “I’ll get to it later. Right now I’ll get Ash ready for bed.” She could feel his gaze burning against the back of her head when she walked out of the room but didn’t care.

“Bad day?” he muttered.

“Yeah, something like that.”

An hour later both kids were ready for the night. It’d been a long-ass day, and she couldn’t wait to get it over with.

“Night, Dad!”

Zander picked up their oldest and gave him a big hug. “Night, dude, I’ll see you in the morning.”

She handed Nolan over for his good-night hug. “I forgot something. Would you give me a minute?” Without waiting for a reply, she jogged to the next room while he and the kids waited.

“What’s this?” He unfolded the glossy paper she tossed toward him a minute later, and she could see that recognition hit.

“Thought you might like to see your baby’s first pictures since you missed the appointment.” She narrowed her eyes and left to settle the boys. The plan was to let him stew for a bit, and then it was time to get it all out in the open.

***

The dishes were done, and Zander was sitting on the couch twisting the pictures this way and that to get a better look when she got back out.

“Here, give me that.” She swiped the pictures and pointed everything out. “It’s early yet, but here’s his head and arms, the legs over here, and the body…”

“It looks weird.” He squinted.

“
He
looks like a peanut right now, perfectly normal for ten weeks.”

“He?” Zander smirked.

“I’m surrounded with so much testosterone, I figure odds are it’ll probably be another boy,” she explained and put the two pictures on the coffee table beside them. “We need to talk, because I am getting sick and tired of it. You’re missing the important appointments, you’re distant, and when we do talk, it’s about anything but this baby. What’s wrong with you? This is supposed to be a happy time, and I want to share it with people, especially you. God, Alex!”